Sonic the Hedgehog

I was not expecting the movie to start with baby Sonic being raised by a talking owl who uses a giant ring to send Sonic to another world while she prepares to die protecting him. Protecting him from people hunting him because he didn't listen to here about hiding his speed. That's going hard right from the jump.

He eventually reaches Earth, lives near a town called Green Hills, spies on the residents, imagines himself as part of their lives. Gets majorly depressed about being alone, runs until he releases a massive amount of energy that knocks out power for miles. Which gets the government involved, with the investigation led by a mad scientist named Robotnik, played by Jim Carrey.

The movie reminds me a fair bit of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, although that's not a comparison that does this movie any favors. You've got a talking animal on the run from the authorities with darker motives, aided by a person who ostensibly is the authorities. In this case a small town cop dreaming of joining the San Francisco PD. I wouldn't think a cop could make enough to live in San Francisco. Not without taking kickbacks, anyway. 

The interactions between Sonic and physical objects aren't nearly as smooth as with Roger Rabbit (Sonic trying to hit the biker with the beer bottle looked extremely fake), and there aren't nearly as many layers to this movie, but in the broad "odd couple on the run" strokes, that's what it reminded me of. There's even the part where the animated character is supposed to stay hidden and instead goes out in public and starts a huge mess.

Carrey plays Robotnik with a fair amount of that '90s Jim Carrey energy. Lots of flamboyant gestures and facial expressions. I didn't know he still had that gear in him, but the moment he stalked off his personalized Maddencruiser with his neck oddly stretched out and angled forward, I just cracked up. Don't know why, just thought his posture was funny. Then he verbally eviscerated the Army captain there in a way that perfectly lays out Robotnik's intellect, ego and contempt for anyone he considers lesser than him. Which is everyone. It's a very effective couple of minutes of establishing the character.

And it lets Robotnik act as a contrast to Sonic. Neither has friends, but where Sonic imagines himself as being part of other people's lives, and tries desperately to make it a reality, Robotnik decided he doesn't need friends, period. He'll have intellect and power. Those will make people do what he wants. he does have one moment where he actually compliments his assistant on how he makes Robotnik's lackeys, but even then he does it by yelling the compliment angrily.

The movie uses two different approaches for showing off Sonic's speed. Sometimes it shows him moving fast. Running past "Donut Lord's" speed trap and the radar gun reading 296 mph. Other times it does what the X-Men films did for Quicksilver. Everything else is either frozen or in extreme slow-motion and Sonic casually lopes around tapping bullets aside or giving bikers atomic wedgies.

James Marsden and Tika Sumpter did a pretty good job playing characters who have been together for a while. They have their routines an in-jokes, they're used to Maddie's sister wanting her to break up with Tom. I did feel like Tom should know there aren't animal smelling salts, but chalk it up to him being stressed worrying about essentially a bizarre child that has wandered into his life and gotten hurt. But the gag with the two cakes was funny, and the bit where Maddie's niece gives Sonic new shoes was actually very sweet.

I was expecting an absolute trainwreck, but, it wasn't too bad. Sonic's constant one-liners could get annoying, but it feels like an attempt to just keep throwing jokes out and see if enough land. It's a time-tested approach.

A Slow Transition Into Fall

September's solicits had a few new things, but mostly it's the same as the last few months. Marvel's not doing so hot, with several things being resolicited. For one, She-Hulk #6, which was originally scheduled to come out in August (and if the book actually was on schedule, would be out this month.) Also X-Men Legends #2, which ought to have been out in June. I guess I'm going to be waiting a bit for that Nocenti-written Longshot story that was going to be in issues 3 and 4.

There is Iron Cat #4, Moon Knight #15, and Damage Control #2. With She-Hulk, that's 4 books. Whoo. Scout Comics is looking to match that with Agent of WORLDE #3, She Bites #2, Locust: Fall of Man #2, and the first issue of West Moon Chronicles. It's by Frank Jun Kim and Joe Bocardo, about a Korean immigrant and his grandson investigating some creatures from Korean folklore inhabiting the woods outside a town in Texas. Seems worth a shot.

Outside my personal Big Two, what else is poppin'? The third issue of Above Snakes (if I'm still buying it) from Image. At Aftershock, the fourth issue of A Calculated Man, which might be wrapping up, based on the solicit. I'm guessing it helps with pre-orders, but I kind of hate all these books now that know they're going to be a limited run and won't just tell me "1 of 4" or whatever up front. If I think the book sounds interesting enough to buy, knowing it's "only" a mini-series isn't going to dissuade me.

There were two possible new comics in there. One was Blink, through Oni Press. It'll be on its third issue by September. It's by Christopher Sebela (who wrote the mini-series Test I bought a few years ago) and Hayden Sherman, about a woman who finds a clue to her forgotten past but finds herself in some bizarre labyrinth. It sounds familiar to a sequence from one of the middle issues of Test, but we'll see. First issue is actually out next month, so I'll have to grab it. The other is a Chun-Li one-shot through Udon Entertainment, written and drawn by Ryan Kinnaird. I stink at Street Fighter games and always have, but I do like Chun-Li.

Red 5 has a tpb of Dead or Alive by Scott Chitwood and Alfonso Ruiz about two bounty hunters who capture an outlaw who's been cursed to become undead by a Comanche shaman. Quite why the Comanche are still trying to kill them, as the solicit suggests, I don't know. Does the curse get broken if he faces the white man's justice? Viz Media has volume 2 of Crazy Food Truck, the first volume of which I think came out this month, and which i will hopefully purchase soon.

More curiously, Seven Seas Entertainment solicited volume 3 of Yakuza Reincarnation. I say curiously because volume 4 was listed in last month's solicits. This isn't listed as a resolicit, so I don't know what the dealio is.

Free Guy

Ryan Reynolds is Guy, a cheerful bank teller NPC in a massive multiplayer online GTA clone, who falls in love with a player's avatar (Jodie Comer) he sees on the street, which prompts him to take control of his life beyond the role he's intended to film, but the jackass "creator" of the game (played Taika Waititi). As it turns out, Guy's continued evolution and development is the key to a legal struggle between Waititi and Comer, with Comer's former development partner Keys (Joe Keery) caught in the middle, along with all the other NPCs in the game.

I laughed a lot at this. Even though I don't play MMORPGs, I did understand a lot of the in-jokes about it. The random behavior the player's exhibit which the NPCs shrug off as normal. The guy purposefully flying his jetpack into the barrier that marks the edge of the world so he can crash spectacularly. The characters jumping awkwardly as they run down the street. The bizarre smack talk. The insane collections of weapons and vehicles. Channing Tatum playing the player avatar of some guy who named him "Revenjamin Button".

Most of the time, Guy's dialogue would come off as sarcastic from Ryan Reynolds. Because sarcastic is seemingly Reynolds' default setting. But he's able to impart enough wide-eyed optimism and enthusiasm to make it believable Guy really has no idea what Millie is talking about and takes what she says literally. When he sees he's level 1, his, 'Oh. Is one the best or the worst?' is perfect. Or his confusion about taking off his "skin". And while I doubt a player having great success in one of these games by being helpful and not lethally violent would gain such popularity, I like that Guy maintains that approach. Even when he's in danger of being erased permanently, he still opts for a kinder solution.

I think I liked the security guard Buddy (Lil Rel Howery) the best. He's Guy's best friend, and while he can never bring himself to put on the sunglasses and become a "player" like Guy, that doesn't mean he remains a static NPC, or that he's lesser than Guy. His evolution isn't as dramatic, but he steps outside the bounds of his role as well. He's still Guy's friend, and he wants to help, but in his own way. Which, if you're going to play with the notion of artificial intelligences developing, they shouldn't all develop or grow in the same way, right?

What I Bought 6/22/2022 - Part 2

Unless something has gone catastrophically wrong (or, from another perspective, very right), I'm on the road all week. I hope it's going to be a fun week, but I really doubt it. Travel is rarely relaxing. I saved this book for its own post partially because it's the end of an arc, but mostly because Moon Knight's usually light enough on plot it's quick to review.

Moon Knight #12, by Jed MacKay (writer), Alessandro Cappuccio (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Cory Petit (letterer) - Sticks versus gun should be a mismatch, but Zodiac's not demonstrating good form there.

I noticed on the first page, Cappuccio drew one of Zodiac's henchguys as basically Jason Voorhees. Hockey mask, big sharp farm implement for a weapon. Soldier dressing up like Mr. Knight works - for about one page. Then Zodiac shoots him through Reese. Marc and Tigra show up just a bit late, with a bunch of undead past Moon Knights on their tails. The path Khonshu provided was through some dimension where his Fists go when they die. Which Marc, naturally, knew nothing about because he's been kind of an unusual disciple even when he's following orders. Most of them look the same, some basic variations in the placement of gold bracers or neck guards with moon symbols on them.

A bunch of zombies messes up Zodiac's plans, so he tries to run, but Reese isn't having it. Rosenberg colors Reeses' tears pink, I assume because she's crying most blood? The actual blood from her gunshot wounds in colored extremely dark though, so maybe not. She's ready to kill him, but Moon Knight's going to do it first. MacKay attempts to stave off the "it would make you no better than him" spiel and has Moon Knight claim that no, Reese wouldn't be as bad as Zodiac if she killed him. She would be as bad as Moon Knight, who is going to kill Zodiac himself. I guess that's accurate?

For that panel, Cappuccio goes with a wide, short panel that's focused on Marc's hands and a black circle on his chest below the crescent moon symbol. Has that been there the whole time? What the heck is that? A new moon symbol, when he already has a moon symbol on his costume? 

But wait, Steven Grant pushes Marc Spector aside and takes over. I feel like that will simply result in Reese returning to her original plan to murder Zodiac. Also, I'm curious to see how Zodiac reacts to all that. He seemed OK with pushing Reese to embrace what he's sure is her true nature, and that's what he's been after with Moonie all along. But he only made inarticulate noises once Moon Knight started choking him, so I don't know if he was pleased with what he sowed.

Sunday Splash Page #224

 

"Two-Man Quick Draw," in Gun Blaze West vol. 1, chapter 1, by Nobuhiro Watsuki

First things first, in 2017 Nobuhiro Watsuki was arrested for having child pornography in his office and home. Wikipedia says he was fined 200,000 yen, which is about $1,500. I don't know what the standard is for that charge in Japan, or here in the U.S., but that seems light. Either way, in case that's a deal-breaker for looking at his work, I wanted to lay it out there first.

I still have no good transition from that.

In 2001, Nobuhiro was coming off a solid success in Rurouni Kenshin, which ran for 28 volumes. For his next series, Nobuhiro stayed in the 19th Century, but switched continents, opting to focus on the American West. The series lead is Viu Bannes (Nobuhiro adopts the Western convention of individual name first, family name second for characters in this series), the dark-haired kid up there, who is determined to go West and find the legendary "Gun Blaze West", which exists "beyond the west". What that is, exactly, is vague, and what characters think it is probably says more about what they value. Wealth, power, adventure, a challenge.

Where Kenshin Himura was an atypical shonen protagonist - soft-spoken, peaceful, only concerned with strength to the extent necessary to protect - Viu is more in the standard mold of characters like Goku, Luffy, Naruto (or Myojin Yahiko in Rurouni Kenshin). He's loud, ready to challenge anyone at the drop of a hat, dreams of testing his limits, and eats like a horse. He makes two friends along the way, a scholarly teenage bouncer named Will who favors lassos, and Colice, a young knife-throwing Japanese girl who was part of a traveling circus.

There's a lot of different villains and other allies thrown in, with their own styles. Not just guys who use shotguns with 8 barrels, but also guys who skate around on their spurs and shoot bullets from the crowns of their sombreros. There's a big melee to see who even gets to start on the path to Gun Blaze West that features Viu challenging the "Armor Baron", but there's also a part-mechanical American "super-soldier" called Sarge Thunder-Arm and look I didn't name these guys.

The journey to Gun Blaze West was apparently going to be a whole series of challenges and no doubt Viu would have experienced setbacks, but the series was canceled after 28 chapters, or 3 volumes in the collected version. So it goes.

Saturday Splash Page #26

 

"A Creepy New Year's Portrayal," in World's Finest #254, by Steve Ditko (writer/artist), Jerry Serpe (colorist), Todd Klein (letterer)

As we discussed in Sunday Splash Page #194, the appearance in First Issue Special didn't do much for the Creeper's fortunes. It would be over three years before Ditko would return to the character, as a feature in World's Finest, starting in issue #249, and running through nine issues in total.

Ryder still works for a TV station, but Ditko switches him from a reporter to the station's "trouble-shooter", an amorphous title that seems to mostly include body-guarding the talent. Ditko tries to write Ryder's interactions with his coworkers as a mixture of workplace comedy and Silver Age Superman playing pranks on Lois and Jimmy. Either way, it's not particularly funny.

The villains are all one-offs, other than Ditko brings back Angel Devlin, the guy Jack Ryder was investigating when he infiltrated that costume party and wound up as the Creeper. Most of them are motivated by jealousy or old grudges and out for revenge. A lot of people who feel like they were screwed over by having something taken from them, or who decide to steal someone else's work. Can't imagine why. Mr. Wrinkles up there is an exception, since his deal is using a device to temporarily steal the youth of other people and transfer it to himself so they'll work for him.

With only eight pages a story to work with, Ditko uses a lot of 9 or even 10-panel layouts, trying to pack in as much as possible. He's still following the approach of having Ryder or the Creeper fail in their initial attempt to stop the bad guy, and possibly a second time, before eventually triumphing. So there's a lot of dialogue to squeeze in.

Ditko really tries to play up the Creeper moving differently. He's almost always drawn as bent parallel to the ground at the waist, leaning over and leering at whoever with that red mane falling down around and over part of his face. His laughter becomes an almost physical presence in some panels, encircling a bunch of frightened goons in one panel, or almost chasing after someone as they run away.

What I Bought 6/22/2022 - Part 1

Managed to find both comics from this week, plus one from last week this same store didn't have on the shelves when I swung by then. Better late than never.

Kaiju Score: Steal From the Gods #3, by James Patrick (writer), Rem Broo (artist), Francesco Segala (colorist), Dave Sharpe (letterer) - Hoodie designs of a death foretold.

Time to infiltrate the Russian base around the frozen kaiju. And it goes well! Sung is still being a smartass, and Glover is still trying to dump his guilt complex on Michelle, but their forged papers pass muster. The retinal scan gets T.G. in the security office. The others ride the rail car down into Prodathu's gut to get that gold.

Which is when Pavel springs the betrayal. T.G. takes three to the torso and judging by the blood, he wasn't wearing a Kevlar vest. Pavel cranks up the thermostat which wakes the beast up, and it's time for a panicked rail car ride back out of the creature's gut. I especially like the panel of Glover and Sung looking back and seeing that the rail line is becoming rapidly vertical and starting to twist as Prodathu gets moving.

So Pavel and these other idiots want Prodathu awake because they believe it will cleanse the earth of all the "garbage". Meaning people that aren't them. I suspect the creature does not distinguish one human from another and that Pavel will learn this firsthand. People are very bad at seeing the possible consequences of their actions. It'll always end up being someone else's problem.

Although in this case, I think they've forgotten that Prodathu was in battle with another mega-kaiju when it got frozen. One I think was buried under it, and is probably also going to wake up. We just glimpse its outline through the ice in the panel of Sung falling to his "death". I suspect he's not actually going to die, because I doubt Patrick will kill more than half the crew and with T.G. bleeding out and Glover not having died fucking up yet, someone else has to survive beside Michelle.

Anyway, the other kaiju will either save humanity, or lead to its total destruction as the two creatures rampage across the globe. Guess we'll see next month!

Slumber #4, by Tyler Burton Smith (writer), Vanessa Cardinali (artist), Simon Robins (colorist), Steve Wands (letterer/designer) - And then, the swans showed up.

Stetson figures out it isn't Valkira possessing the memory of Finch's dead brother, but some dream demon with poor grammar instead. Feels like a bit of a cheat, but it does play into the sense that Stetson's been at this a while, while we're like Finch who has been thrown into the deep end. Meanwhile, someone showed up at her office and knocked out Ed, but seemingly didn't take anything. Stetson suspects Valkira possessed Finch's fiancee and they rush to the hospital where she works. 

Stetson's rapidly losing her grip, looking sweaty and vaguely disoriented in some panels, and starts accusing Sadie of being possessed. Then Finch's cop partner shows up, because they found the murder he committed, plus Stetson's card. And here Finch is, with Stetson. Stetson tranqs the cop, and the fiancee. But Sadie's not possessed, so who is?

It's a credit to Smith that, when Stetson got out of Finch's dream and found Ed not dead, and nothing missing, that I thought I knew what was going on, but he got me to doubt it. Because Stetson was so sure she understood what was happening, and, like Finch, we just got swept along in her wake. I still don't understand exactly what Valkira is after. Is she planning to hook Ed into the dream machine, then walk her own body out through the interface into the physical world? It seems like she could have managed that anytime, just by hiding in someone's mind and guiding them to Stetson. Then just slip out the door while Stetson and her partner are busy running around in the person's dreams.

In the hospital, Stetson mentions see sees the nightmares she takes from other people everywhere she goes. Cardinali draws them in all through that scene. Some we've seen before, like the talking cockroach with the backwards ballcap, others we haven't. The memory of them lingers in her mind, even as she erases it from theirs. Which explains why the nightmares call her a "dream eater", while her business card says "dream healer".

Siberia

Keanu Reeves plays Lucas Hill, who's come to St. Petersburg so he and his partner can sell some blue diamonds to a Russian for a lot of money. Except his partner has vanished, there are men looking for Pyotr, and Lucas has no hint of where the diamonds are. He does have a hint of where Pyotr went: Myrna, and while he's there, he meets a cafe owner named Christa (Ashley St. George).

Christa was drawn back to where she grew up to run the family cafe after the abrupt deaths of her parents. Her brother is trying to set her up with some guy named Anton, who is supposedly fine, but is a representation of this life running a cafe and dealing with drunk mine workers exposing themselves to her. Lucas is the world she escaped to, and to which she wants to reach again.

As for Lucas? I think he's just bored of his wife. He says something about how, after a while with someone, you squint at them and miss all kinds of flaws. It would seem that it doesn't take long, because Christa seemed to ignore Lucas' flaws right off. She seems to expect he's going to be more open with her than with his wife, and he's not. That he isn't going to ultimately be focused on trying to get himself out of the mess Pyotr has gotten him into.

There's a whole metaphor with the diamonds. Lucas says he likes them because they're beautiful and rare and valuable, but as Christa notes, they also can't be altered, and she's starting to realize maybe Lucas can't, either. Of course, then there's the whole plot thread with the fake diamonds, which have to be subjected to some kind of spectroscopic analysis to detect. So they look just like the real thing, but they're phony. Which I assume means they can be altered, but also that they aren't really rare or beautiful. Is that what Lucas's, whatever, with Christa is? It looks like some great, chance romance, but it's a short-lived thing doomed to destruction.

That's more words than I intended to spend on all that. The problem is, I wanted more on the business with Pyotr being missing and the diamonds. The mysterious Samsonov and the FSB guys who were sniffing around. I envisioned Lucas roaming the streets and back alleys of St. Petersburg at night, or being pursued across open ground around Myrna. The movie is much more interested in Lucas and Christa's love affair, but I don't care about him sleeping with some lady he met because he and his wife are bored with each other.

It's a Long Road Back

I'm so happy these guys won another title.

I've always gravitated towards the teams that shoot a lot of 3s and/or run a lot, so a roster with the greatest shooter in NBA history (Steph Curry), plus one of the other greatest shooters (Klay Thompson) was always going to be my jam. They seemed like a team that had so much fun. When they'd get some stops and turn them into fast break dunks or open 3s for Curry or Thompson, and that would start the avalanche.

Suddenly, one of those two couldn't miss and everyone on the team was encouraging them to just keep shooting and going nuts as the shots kept going in. The Warriors would pull away in seemingly an instant. Their opponent would panic, start trying to hit their own big shots to come back, and it would only get worse. I remember watching them in the playoffs against a solid-if-unspectacular Utah team and midway through the second quarter, the Warriors hit another level and suddenly made the Jazz look completely outmatched. Like Golden State was playing a JV high school team rather than a roster of actual NBA players.

That's an oversimplification of their team, though. The Warriors' success is as much about their defense as the offense over the years. The original "Death Lineup" - Andre Iguodala/Draymond Green/Harrison Barnes/Curry/Thompson - got that name because it consisted of four excellent defenders (plus Curry, who has worked to get better over his career, but is still an easier target), who could guard almost anyone, without requiring a big center who fouled up the spacing on offense. All with Draymond, who seems to understand defense, anticipation, positioning to a remarkable degree, running the show.

It helped that both Iguodala and Green, poor shooters, were smart passers and active without the ball. That's one of the things the Warriors being good for several years did, give me a better appreciation for how basketball works. Or maybe how it can work. Their offense is based on movement. Everybody screens, everybody cuts, everybody gets to touch the ball and be part of the offense. The polar opposite of the crap the Houston Rockets ran when they had James Harden, where he dribbles the ball for 20 seconds while the other four guys stand in the corners and wait to see if he'll pass to them or just jump into his defender to draw a bullshit foul.

(I understood people being tired of the Warriors at a certain point, but the notion of rooting for the Rockets to beat them? Just, no. Actually, NO. Absolutely not.)

The motion requires space. Namely, the amount of space Curry's shooting creates. The moment he reaches half-court, he has to be guarded. Because he's in range already. Dragging one, or even two if they decide to double-team or trap him, defenders out that far opens up so much room for everyone else on the team.

One of my favorite stretches was in the 2019 playoffs. Kevin Durant got hurt, and for the remainder of their series with Houston and the entire series with Portland, there would be times where it was Curry and 4 guys who can't shoot (usually Draymond, Iguodala, Shaun Livingston and Kevon Looney). It didn't matter. Guarding Curry properly created room to move, and all those guys were smart passers, so the Rockets and Blazers were scrambling all over the court, trying to keep up.

It fell apart against the Raptors in the Finals. Partially because Durant came back and then got really hurt, then Klay got really hurt, but also because the Raptors were a much better defensive team than the Blazers or Rockets. They could keep up with the passing and the movement. The Raptors won the title. Kevin Durant joined the Brooklyn Nets. Shaun Livingston retired. The Warriors traded Iguodala to cut the luxury tax payment. 

I was actually excited. I didn't mind Durant deciding he wanted to play with the Warriors, and while I didn't understand not wanting to stay, I was curious to see what would happen. He was gone, but Curry, Green and Thompson won a title without him. I expected they would want to prove they could do it again. Except, Klay Thompson missed all of the next season. Curry injured his hand five games into that season and missed the rest of it. Draymond looked out of shape and disinterested. The Warriors had the worst record in the league.

They were so bad, when the NBA resumed the COVID-interrupted season in "the bubble" down at Disneyland, the Warriors were one of the teams they didn't even invite. The garbage-ass Washington Wizards, who haven't been to a conference finals in over 40 years, were good enough to be invited to see if they could squeak into the playoffs, but the Warriors were relegated to the same category as the NBA's longest-running joke, the Sacramento Kings.

OK, maybe next year. Curry's hand would be fine. Thompson would be recovered from the ACL tear. Draymond would give a shit once those guys were back and they were contending. Then Thompson blew out his Achilles tendon in training camp. Missed another year. The Warriors scrambled to fill the spot with Kelly Oubre, who has never been a satisfactory answer to any problem a NBA team has faced. They managed a winning record anyway, on the strength of a strong finish to the season where they paired Curry with whoever on the roster could play the way the Warriors liked to, but still missed the playoffs.

Consistent title contenders usually have a core group of guys throughout a run, but there comes a point where they drop off. Age-related decline, injuries, retirement, guys leave in free agency, whatever. Once they do, the team doesn't come back until there's an entirely new core in place. The Celtics made it to at least the conference finals (meaning they were one of the last 4 teams standing) 7 of 8 years from 1980-1988. They won 3 titles, made the Finals 2 other times. After that, they didn't make the conference finals again until 2003. From 1980 through 1991, the Lakers made it to at least the conference finals 10 of 12 years. Won 5 titles, lost in the Finals 4 other times. After '91, took them until '98 (and having Shaq and Kobe) to get back to the conference finals. The Bulls in the 1990s made the Finals 6 of 8 years, won every time. They've made the conference finals once since 1998. It took them 7 years to even get back to the playoffs at all. 

The Cavaliers and Heat both dropped off after Lebron left. The Spurs did the same once Kawhi decided he didn't want to be in San Antonio any longer. The Lakers had a solid shitty decade after the Kobe/Pau Gasol/Lamar Odom group fell apart, and needed Lebron James to pull them from that tailspin. Considering they've only escaped the first round 1 of the 4 seasons he's been there, it's fair to question if he really succeeded.

So I wondered if injuries and time got the Warriors, and they wouldn't be able to make it back. But I hoped to be wrong, and they started the season well, 18-2. Neck-and-neck with the Suns for best record, and Klay was supposed to be progressing nicely, scrimmaging and everything. But they never could get everybody on the court together during the regular season. Klay came back, and Draymond almost immediately was out with a back injury. He came back, Curry's foot got rolled over and he missed the last two weeks of the season. They just held onto the #3 seed ahead of the Mavericks.

But maybe these guys don't need any reps to mesh. They've been teammates so long, they already know what to do. They basically smoked the Nuggets in the first round, even with Curry coming off the bench for four games as he worked back from the injury. He still scored 34 points in less than 23 minutes in a Game 2, 20-point beatdown. But the Nuggets were minus anyone other than Jokic who could reliably do anything on offense, and they weren't much on defense, either. 

The Grizzlies were going to be another matter. Young, athletic, tough, full of confidence and not shy letting the opponent know about it. The Grizzlies won Game 2 behind 47 points from Ja Morant, and suddenly there were all these articles about how would the Warriors be able to stop him, and boy, they're in trouble. Seemed like an overreaction considering the series was tied, the Warriors had home court, and the Grizzlies only won by 5. If Morant scored 40, they would have lost. He scored 34 in Game 3, and Memphis lost by 30.

And he got hurt, which improved the Grizzlies' defense, but they had no one who could get them a bucket when they needed it. It turned into a slog for the Warriors, but they made it hard for Memphis to score - the Grizzlies didn't break 100 points in Game 4 or 6, both of which they lost - and Golden State was able to find the cracks in the defense at the end to score just enough. In Game 6, Memphis grabbed a 2 point lead, 89-87 with just under 7 minutes left. From there, the Warriors went on a 21-3 run in the next 5 minutes and put it away.

On to Dallas, who had just humiliated the Suns and made Chris Paul look like a chump (though they're hardly the first to do that in the playoffs.) The Mavericks tried to take away 3-pointers from the Warriors. So the Warriors attacked the rim constantly. Got their own misses and tried again. The Mavs had no big men who could discourage that or grab enough rebounds, and so the Warriors shot over 50% from the field in the series.

The Celtics were supposed to be the toughest test. They were being picked to win by many, although there was a weird contradiction in how the Celtics were discussed. They were treated as this great team, who only beat themselves because of their tendency to make dumb turnovers. Which they do, a lot. But if they were a great team, they wouldn't be beating themselves multiple times in every series. If they were really that much better than Milwaukee or Miami, they wouldn't have needed 7 games to win. More likely the Celtics were very good, and so were the Bucks and the Heat. The Warriors were better than Dallas or Denver, and they (mostly) played like it. They beat them each in 5 games, and the one game they lost in both series was after they were up 3 games to 0 and the series was effectively over.

The longer the Finals went, the more the Warriors seemed in control. Outside of the Celtics' big comeback in Game 1, the Warriors seemed to know how to slow them down. The Celtics did make several turnovers that were just inexplicably dumb passes, but the Warriors also knew how to cut them off, how to anticipate, how to funnel whoever had the ball to a place he didn't want to be. And when the Celtics turned the ball over, the Warriors ran with it.

The Celtics gummed up Golden State's offense frequently, taking the approach to not help when guarding Curry in an attempt to keep him from finding open teammates. It mostly worked. Nobody was getting easy shots. Except Curry, you know, the most dangerous guy on the team. After he torched the Celtics for 43 points to win Game 4, they finally lost their resolve and started double-teaming him. And it worked, Curry had a terrible shooting night! But the thing Boston had been worried about kicked in. The other Warriors got easy shots, the Celtics were out of position to fight for rebounds, so the Warriors killed them on second-chance points. Andrew Wiggins had a great night, Klay Thompson scored 21, they got points from Jordan Poole and Gary Payton II off the bench. The Celtics got nothing from their bench.

The Celtics came out desperate at the start of Game 6, but the Warriors took their best punch, and after the first three minutes of the game had them down 14-2, went on a 52-25 run over the next 21 minutes. The Celtics tried to make a few comebacks during the game, but every time they got within 8, the Warriors either got an open shot off an attempted double-team on Curry, or Curry hit a shot, or the Warriors' defense forced another turnover. They withstood every push the Celtics made. 

Maybe because the Celtics were tired from playing more games, or for not having a better bench to lessen the load. Even when the non-Curry Warriors weren't scoring, they were helping. Wiggins was making Jayson Tatum's life miserable. Kevon Looney was grabbing rebounds like crazy. Gary Payton II and Klay were active on defense and making just enough shots. Draymond was doing a little of everything in the last couple of games, which is his specialty. 

Or maybe it was because the Warriors have done this before. After facing Lebron James in 4 consecutive finals, Jayson Tatum and Marcus Smart probably don't seem too terrifying. It was weird, but even if I worried about if the Warriors would win individual games, I was never worried about them winning any of these series. It helps that, other than being down 1 game to 0 and then 2 games to 1 to Boston, they were never behind. But even when Boston was up, I still felt like Golden State could come back and win. And they did. So maybe I'm better at predicting sports than I am at predicting resolutions to comic book plots.

I don't know if they'll be able to do it again next year. It'd be cool if they could, but there's never any guarantees. The Bucks probably figured they were going back to the Finals this year, and then Khris Middleton hurt his knee in a first-round series against Chicago. The Bucks could beat the Bulls without him, they couldn't beat Boston. The Suns talked about this as their revenge tour for losing in the Finals last year, and then Dallas beat them like a drum in Round 2. The Warriors' last couple of seasons are maybe the best example. Nothing went the way they expected. But at least this season, they made it all the way back to the top this year.

Shadow Moon - George Lucas and Chris Claremont

I had no idea these two collaborated on a book. Three apparently, since this is the first in a series, and a continuation of the world in that movie Willow. Which I've never seen, and therefore, the impact of the prologue is rather lost on me, beyond knowing these characters had a Big Adventure together.

Most of the book is set 15 years later, after some force destroyed many places of mystical power. Willow, now going by Thorn, has been roaming the world, studying the destruction and generally cutting himself off from everyone. He decides to visit the kingdom that's the current home of the "Sacred Princess", prophesied to be some big deal, who he saved when she was a baby in the movie. Things do not go well.

Lots of characters are introduced and then killed, many places described as being of great importance are summarily and easily destroyed by the "Deceiver', who Thorn may have discerned the identity of by the end of this book, but I haven't a clue. It's meant to establish the stakes, but it was hard to care overmuch since we'd only just been introduced to most of the deceased.

It's also hard to have much faith in Thorn as a protagonist, and Claremont and Lucas don't do themselves any favors there, either. Thorn doubting himself I can roll with. Nearly every other character questioning him or essentially calling him a fool or a complete dumbass, makes things trickier. If no one has faith in this guy, and he's getting outflanked at basically every turn, avoiding destruction by narrow margins, it's hard to be impressed.

The worst part of the book is a section maybe halfway through, where Thorn is imprisoned in a dungeon where a chaotic force is bound. The force offers its help, if Thorn will help it in turn. OK, fine. But the force is interwoven into the castle so completely Thorn keeps getting distracted and watching what's going on with other characters. Which drags the whole thing out interminably. Just get on with the favor so Thorn can return to being an active participant! Watching a character watching other characters is boring as shit and made me want to throw the book across the room.

Claremont seems to have the stronger influence, or maybe I'm just more in tune with his tics. The Sacred Princess being a young woman with extraordinary power who the villain (who may be some non-corporeal force of chaos) attempts to mold and turn into a weapon it can manipulate. Characters' natures being fundamentally altered in dramatic ways. Lots of scenes of characters becoming connected to some larger awareness, some different conception of space and time, and nearly losing themselves to it. Thorn nearly gets controlled by an ancient mountain that was destroyed and would have stood there and rebuilt it however long that took, because he was operating on its time.

'Mayhap was, but y' didn't know it, is all. No crime in tha', Drumheller, not even shame. I don't expect a young'un on his first cruise t' know the taste of a rogue wind, nor how t' handle it. Nor a rogue deal an' how t' keep it from goin' wrong. Their job's t' watch an' learn. Tha' applies to wizards, too, I 'spect. If tha's na' good enough f'r y', though' - a casual flick of the wrist sent the stiletto from his hand to the table before Thorn, with enough force to sink the blade an inch deep into its polished surface - if y' miss y'r friends so much, then by all means join 'em.'

What I Bought 6/16/2022

We haven't even officially gotten to summer and I'm already sick and tired of it. Why did climate change have to empower my least favorite of the seasons? Couldn't make fall nicer, or even just wetter, no, had to make summer even more like living inside a jock strap.

Ben Reilly: Spider-Man #5, by J.M. DeMatteis (writer), David Baledon (artist), Israel Silva (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Given how wiggly his his webbing has looked on all of these covers, I have to conclude that either Ben messed up the formula, or Mysterio pranked him by swapping in silly string.

Ben has to go fight all the released patients. Which goes better than it ought to because he gets a little help. First from Mysterio, then from Vermin, who Spidercide somehow brought back out of Edward. Still, Ben's losing until Spidercide concludes that Dr. Kafka was right and he does care about Ben. So he beats all the villains he released, again uses his abilities to bring Ben back from near-death (somehow) and falls into a coma. Except he seems to be out of that by a page later while under Dr. Kafka's supervision.

Woof, that was not a great ending. I guess Spidercide's face turn - one issue after his previous face turn - is supposed to mirror Ben's internal monologue during the fight about not dismissing the people he's fighting as crazy, because it allows him to dehumanize them and ignore their suffering. He tried to understand Spidercide, and it paid off. But considering this whole mess is Spidercide's fault, I might have been more impressed if Ben actually reached the patients, Mysterio helps because he wants a defeat of Spider-Man to be done with style, and Edward manages to resurface inside Vermin, but there isn't much indication Spider-Man's making any attempt to reach any of these other people.

Maybe it's because reaching out to Spidercide and trying to accept him as a brother is a step in Ben accepting himself as an individual again, rather than the cheap copy of Peter Parker he believed himself to be. Self-acceptance, but the self is actually somebody else. But it just feels so damn abrupt. Spidercide is gleefully turning Edward into Vermin and taunting Ben about what he'll do to Kafka while Ben's stopping the riot, and then he's all outraged that Ben's about to die. All within a couple of pages. The pacing wrecks any emotional impact.

Also, Spidercide's attempt at a knock off Spidey costume to "mock" Ben doesn't really carry it off. It just looks like an uninspired Spider-Man costume. Making sure his mouth is still visible through the "mask" is a little unsettling, but it doesn't scream mockery.

A Calculated Man #1, by Paul Tobin (writer), Alberto Albuquerque (artist), Mark Englert (colorist), Taylor Esposito (letterer) - His camouflage suit is only half-working.

Jack Beans is a former accountant for a mob, now in witness protection. Except it seems he's been found, and decides his best option is to just kill everyone in the mob. Tobin moves the story between the present-day, as Jack begins to put his plan in motion, and a series of flashbacks explaining his knack for numbers and total recall, and how he got to this point. That part is related through a discussion between two federal marshals. Omaha Avery is retiring, and Elsie Santos is his replacement, curious about this Jack.

There are two things established during this issue that feel like they'll be crucial to the story. One, Jack has a girlfriend he only knows through the internet. There are a few pages at the end that are meant to be text conversations between Jack and various women he tried meeting, and I'm guessing Vera is the one he's dating. 

Second, Jack apparently can't lie. This was apparently part of why he wanted to stop being a mob money manager, because it wouldn't inevitably cause problems when he dated someone and they wanted to know what he did for a living. Case in point, in one of the unsuccessful text conversations, "Phoebe" asks if he has a criminal past and he admits he does, though he doesn't specify what exactly.

I'm not sure how either of those will end up being relevant, although the issue ends with Jack meeting Omaha and Elsie at a diner. Hopefully neither of them ask if he's been killing people today.

It feels like it's going to be enjoyable. Tobin and Albuquerque keep the tone a bit light most of the time. There are two main crime families, the Keys and the Van Dykes. The keys get tattoos on their backs, the more keys the higher status. The Van Dykes have facial hair, although Albuquerque makes it look drawn on, rather than something they grew. Maybe it's a tattoo as well. 

Thing I noticed that may not mean anything. Omaha's narration boxes are these neat, precise blue rectangles. Crisp edges and corners. Jack's narration boxes are a dingy grey, with bent corners and brown stains. I guess I expected, with Jack being so good with numbers, he'd be more fastidious and so his narration boxes would reflect that, but it isn't really the case. Jack doesn't dress poorly, but he doesn't seem bothered by blood or mess, or anything not being perfectly in place. If it doesn't mess with his plan, I guess it doesn't matter.

Sunday Splash Page #223

 

"Variation on a Theme," in Guardians 3000 #2, by Dan Abnett (writer), Gerardo Sandoval (artist), Edgar Delgado (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer)

In 2014, Guardians of the Galaxy was the surprise smash box office hit, as it turned out people like cheesy music, gun-toting raccoons and idiot man-child protagonists. Marvel did what they always do when something is unexpectedly popular: They flooded the stands with books that could be tied to the hot thing of the moment. In addition to Guardians of the Galaxy (still being written by Bendis), there was a Guardians of Knowhere mini-series, Asgardians of the Galaxy (groan), and Skottie Young's Rocket Raccoon book, there was this.

Dan Abnett sets the book in 3014, with the Guardians - Vance, Charlie, Yondu, Martinex and Starhawk - fighting the Badoon. Except these Badoon are enough of a threat to be on the verge of conquering the entire universe. And the Guardians have a new teammate, an Earthling named Geena Drake, who is the only one able to notice that the timeline keeps slipping and things keep changing.

Abnett has some fun mixing and matching concepts. Gladiator of the Sh'iar is somehow still alive. A Star-Lord, complete with Ship, is around, along with the last Nova. Abnett repurposes the Stark, and Gerardo Sandoval gives them all a giant eyeball look that reminds me of a creature from Doom. Galactus is still kicking, naturally, although now he's "The Old Hunger". Shades of that Walt Simonson FF story where Galactus keeps growing until he's like a black hole devouring the entire universe.

The story shifts to the 21st Century, so that this crew of Guardians can meet that version (which includes Venom at this point in time), and confront the threat the Guardians of the Galaxy usually face when they come back in time. I'll give you a hint: sometimes he's half machine, the other times he's a glowy pink guy with incredible power. Nico Leon draws those last three issues. I think he's better suited for the banter and confusion the two teams face when they run into each other. He has a knack for the kind of expressive art you need to carry that kind of thing, so it isn't just talking heads. 

Gerardo Sandoval drew the first five issues. His work has bit of Joe Mad-inspired look to it, especially in the musculature and whatnot. The amount of teeth and the jaws that seem able to unhinge at will. The 31st Century must have very advanced orthodontics. Those issues are spent with the team on the run and badly confused while they try to figure out what Deena is talking about, or why some of them don't remember being teammates. Everyone is tired and on edge, and Sandoval's art makes them all look kinda nuts, so it works.

The book got canceled at eight issues because of Hickman's Secret Wars, but Abnett managed to work that into the conclusion, so it could have been worse.

Saturday Splash Page #25

 

"Kurt Russell Makes for Good Back-Up," in Wynonna Earp (vol. 2) #6, by Beau Smith (writer), Lora Innes (artist), Jay Fotos (colorist), Robbie Robbins (letterer)

In 2016, Wynonna Earp hit the big time: A TV series on the Syfy network! Well, it beats being on the CW. So naturally, there were comics to tie-in with the show. Things were changed up a bit. Wynonna's appearance was altered to more closely resemble Melanie Scrofano, who portrayed her on the show. Little more biker to the fashion, little less cowboy (the splash page above being an exception rather than a rule.) Different supporting cast, with her boss Agent Dolls, the apparently immortal Mayan warrior princess Valdez, and John Henry, who turns out to be a basically immortal Doc Holliday.

The biggest change is probably in Wynonna's status relative to these characters. In all the other mini-series, she's the leader, the top marshal, and everyone else follows her lead. Here, she's the rookie that everyone else is either trying to rein in, or train up. Whereas before Wynonna seemed calm and in control in most situations, this version is impatient, impulsive, hot-tempered and likes to wing it without considering the consequences. This happens more than once so that Agent Dolls can rap her across the knuckles with old, "We do things by the book! No cowboy shit, Earp!" spiel.

I find Agent Dolls tedious. Why they thought the Wynonna Earp concept needed a Henry Gyrich I don't know. OK, he's not that bad. Dolls is actually useful on some occasions, but he's still a prick.

This mini-series returns to the same notion of settling old family scores as Home on the Strange, but with a bit of a twist. Rather than the Clantons being in charge, it's actually a partially demonic Johnny Ringo that calls Wynonna out in Tombstone. So another showdown with him. In Home on the Strange, Wynonna wins because Wyatt's ghost appears behind him and distracts him, and Wyatt tells her she couldn't have beaten Johnny alone any more than he could. That's always seemed like a cheat to me, the kind of thing that lends credence to all the Clantons' pissing and moaning about how the Earps shoot people in the back.

This time around, Wyatt's alongside her, but I feel like the implication is Wynonna actually does outdraw Ringo. Maybe that's because Earp distracted Ringo again, or he lent some of his spirit to speed up her draw.

That plotline only took six of the eight issues allotted to this mini-series, so the last two issues were one-shots that also did a little world-building and foreshadowing. Witness protection for werewolves and things like that. Beau Smith finally got to work Smitty back into the story in the last issue, as Dolls' boss.

Lora Innes drew five of the eight issues, with Chris Evenhuis handling the other three, including those last two issues. Evenhuis' style is more photo-realistic, much finer line on his artwork, but it lacks some of the energy Innes brings with her art. She's able to draw the fantastic and the supernatural more impressively. Her work can be more exaggerated and cartoonish, but it works for the sometimes silly nature of the stories she's drawing. Like a shootout in a dairy processing plant that also smuggles organs, or a zombie outbreak in a shopping mall. Smith doesn't feel like he's writing everything to be deadly serious, so it's better the art reflects that.

Random Back Issues #87 - Supergirl #63

Each version of the World's Finest has to find their own equilibrium.

Been a couple of years since we looked at an issue of Supergirl. That was the conclusion of what Peter David had been building towards since the beginning of his run, but here we're still a year away from that, with Linda Danvers trying to find the "earth angel" she used to be bonded with. Unfortunately for her, she has to deal with a Joker: Last Laugh tie-in first.

Also a Bizarro version of herself, who kicked Linda's ass last issue. Good news, Batgirl's here to help! And because she doesn't talk much, Peter David can't write as much dialogue or as many puns. That must have been killing him (although he used Cass in an issue of Young Justice, too, so maybe he likes a silent character to react to all the gibbering idiots.)

Cass is able to avoid Bizarro Supergirl's attack easily and flip her into a piece of damaged equipment sitting in a pool of water. Seems like an oddly lethal response from Cass (who is still in her "death wish" phase.) Maybe she could somehow tell B-S-Girl could take it?

Elsewhere, Linda's partner in her search, the human-turned-demon Buzz, is hanging out with Two-Face, and both are Jokerized, crashing an armored car and throwing the money to the passerbys. They return to the warehouse, where Bizarro Supergirl is now happily electrocuting herself, and visit their hostage, Dr. Tuefeld, who created her. They've scrapped their plans to bring him DNA samples or Arkham residents to make clones of, and Two-Face is just gonna shoot him, if the coin says so. 

Buzz, meanwhile, can't figure out why he wants to cry while he's laughing. He's still sporting the injuries he got from trying to help a girl a few issues ago, and in the aftermath of that beating, Linda accused him of probably doing something skeevy to deserve it. Gee, it's almost like repeatedly proving yourself to be an untrustworthy and duplicitous demon makes people question your motives! Weird how that works out.

Batgirl wakes Supergirl up and the two head back to the warehouse. Two-Face has decided to just shoot the doc anyway, so Cass takes away the gun. Of course Harvey's got two but decides to shoot at her instead. That doesn't work and it takes him a couple of tries to remember how to get Bizarro Supergirl to help. Fortunately, Linda steps in to punch her opposite through the wall onto a dock.

Unfortunately, Bizarro Supergirl suddenly demonstrates the flame vision Linda had when she was bonded with the earth angel. Someone has no doubt violated safety regulations and a host of environmental regulations by storing a bunch of fuel canisters on the dock. Cue big explosion and Linda diving into the ocean. By the time she surfaces, there's no sign of Bizarro, but there is a trail she's been told she left behind when she used her "shunt" ability. Something for her to worry about.

{11th longbox, 4th comic. Supergirl (vol. 3) #63, by Peter David (writer), Leonard Kirk (penciler), Robin Riggs (inker), Gene D'Angelo (colorist), Digital Chameleon (separations), Bill Oakley (letterer)}

Resident Evil: The Last Chapter

The conclusion to all the Milla Jovovich Resident Evil movies, send Alice back to Raccoon City to find an airborne antivirus that could destroy the T-virus that made all these zombies. Does that mean those people will go back to being alive? Of course not! They'll all just die permanently.

Oh, and she has to get there and release the virus in 48 hours or the last holdouts of humanity - roughly 4500 people - will be overrun by the undead. Of course that annoying Neo-ripoff looking dipshit Wesker is there waiting, and the scientist guy we thought Alice killed in the third movie (Resident Evil: Extinction) turned out to be a clone, because here's another one. This one thinks of the undead as like a Biblical flood to cleanse the Earth. I should have known it would be religious fundamentalists who ended the world.

I don't remember if any of the other films explained quite why Umbrella was working on something like a T-virus. I always assumed it was to create weapons to sell for fat cash and things got out of hand, ala any number of other science fiction stories. Apparently that was not the case.

The biggest impression I had from the movie was, "too long." It's only about 110 minutes, but every scene seems to go on longer than it needs to. The big fight between Alice, Claire (Ali Larter) and Dr. Isaacs feels like it misses at least one natural conclusion. During the fight in the hallway with the laser defense system (because this is movie is full of callbacks to the previous films), there's at least one place where I thought, "OK, kill him there," and instead, the fight keeps going. What is supposed to somehow take place in less than 3.5 minutes drags on for like 15. Same thing during her first fight with Religious Wackjob Isaacs on top of his rolling battle wagon. They kick, they punch, he tries to stab her, she disarms him, repeat at least twice. 

Also, Alice wrecks three different vehicles and gets knocked unconscious and captured twice in the first half-hour. Which could be good, if the movie used that. Time slipping away, Alice stuck dealing with all these people either out for revenge or just trying to survive when she's meant to be saving humanity. But it doesn't do that. Instead, they take the time for Alice to act like a general leading a small holdout of people who've built a place in Raccoon City (shades of the group holed up in the police station in the fourth movie) from Religious Wackjob Isaacs and all the undead he's got chasing him. They start preparing in the middle of the day, the battle is at night, and only after that, do they try and go get the antivirus.

What if the battle went too long, or hell, they lost? Then the antivirus is never getting released. There is just no urgency to anything they're doing. Once they infiltrate "The Hive", the only time they run is when something is actively chasing them. Normally I would applaud caution given the likelihood of security measures, but again, they're on a schedule. One that both Alice and the holographic little girl keep pointing out. So why don't you fucking run then?! If you're really not interested in getting rid of the zombies, there have to be better things to do with your time than this.

What I Bought 6/11/2022

A trip to two different stores looking for the four books that came out the first two weeks this month yielded. . . one comic? So we're back to that again. I guess that means the books I look are not popular with anyone else, so the stores don't stock more than are specifically requested. I don't have my finger on the pulse of the comic-buying audience. What else is new?

Jenny Zero II #2, by Dave Dwonch (writer/letterer), Brockton McKinney (writer), Magenta King (artist), Arnaldo Robles (color artist) - The mascot is not pleased with these people leaving litter all over his burger joint.

The Jaogkai Death Cult animate the burger restaurant mascot, but have to wait until Jenny finishes her beer before she fights it. If she took it seriously it probably would have been quick, but she's drunk and/or fucking around and gets in a bit of trouble, which Dana helps her with. It's a decent enough fight scene. King's good at adding the details that show the progression of the action from one panel to the next. There's also a panel of Jenny running up the mascot's arm and growing larger with each step I thought was well done. The Director plays the gruff but reluctantly approving authority figure, but gives in to Jenny's demand that her father's friend Fujimoto (who got arrested after trying to help Jenny in the previous mini-series) be released to work with her. 

There are also more flashbacks to when Jenny's father first manifested his powers, which is tied to his first meeting with Fujimoto. Robles uses more blues and purples in coloring those scenes compared to the present day. Even the part where her father first woke up in some sci-fi med unit feels different from Jenny and Dana speaking with the director in the sci-fi HQ. The colors aren't as harsh or bright. A difference in Fujimoto's genuine concern for Kenji compared to the Director's lack of the same? Or something about the flashbacks being a second-hand experience, or that time smooths the edges off memories?

That the flashbacks prominently feature Fujimoto feels important beyond the fact Jenny demands his release. Jenny's been reading her father's diary, but the Director knows she has it (and it makes me wonder if Jenny's copy is the actual diary or something the Director modified). In theory Fujimoto offers another perspective on the events. He could see through any deceptions or alterations the Director has implanted. Or she could be using him to undermine what Jenny learns from the diary.

As frustrating as it is that I have no idea whether I can actually trust any of what I'm reading in this comic, it does at least give me something to think about. Otherwise, my primary takeaway would be that Dwonch and McKinney play up the smart-ass aspect of Jenny and Dana too much. They won't stop talking, which is admittedly part of Jenny's character, but Dana had been the more sensible one in the first series. The voice of reason. Now she's egging Jenny on. Which, again, makes me question whether any of this is real from a, Watsonian perspective, I guess.

Rambo: Last Blood

Somewhere back in the past, I reviewed the 2008 Rambo movie, the one where he was living in Southeast Asia and saved a bunch of humanitarian types who hired to ferry them upriver. I mostly remember it being really violent. Like, "Rambo turns a bunch of humans into hamburger with a .50 cal machine gun" violent.

This one might just top that. It moves Rambo back to the U.S., to a farm where he apparently grew up near the U.S.-Mexico border (special cameo appearance by Donald Trump's bullshit border fence). He works with horses on a ranch owned by his mother, with the only other person there his sister's daughter, Gabriella. She finds out where her father ran off to and heads off to Mexico without telling anyone. This is a mistake. Rambo goes to find her, and it makes things worse, I guess. 

I say, "I guess" because she'd already been forced into sexual slavery and the guys running the operation make it very clear they'd have sold her that way with no qualms. But because Rambo came looking for her, they basically pump her full of drugs and destroy her mentally with repeated and sustained sexual abuse over the four or five days it takes Rambo to recover from the ass-whupping he got.

Anyway, all that's an excuse for Rambo to, as he put it earlier, "stop holding back," and start to brutally murder a lot of guys. He baits them to the farm, we get a whole Home Alone sequence of him setting traps, and then it's dying time. Dudes getting decapitated with very sharp knives. Guys getting their heads disintegrated with some sort of special shotgun shells he made. Lots of traps that involve falling on sharp things or having them driven into you. 

That's fine, I guess. They're not the most creative deaths I've seen on film, and you can only see so many before it loses all effect. They let the main bad guy have too many goons. I definitely hit a point of thinking, "Cripes, he has got to be running out of bad guys by now." He wasn't. And since they're all dying hilariously easy against Rambo, there's hardly any sense that it's a war of attrition on both sides. Like, it could play with the idea that he's an older man now, lot of miles on his body and he's wearing down against the sheer numbers they've got. But it's so easy, that hardly comes across. One guy finally tags him with a bullet, but it doesn't slow him down much.

I know. Why am I asking for something like that from a Rambo movie? You're right, it's silly. There were parts I was interested in at the beginning. The glimpses of Rambo's day-to-day life. He works with horses, but he's built an extensive network of tunnels under the farm which he doesn't even let his family into. He takes some sort of medication, not clear on what. Gabriella says he tends to stare intensely at people, and he responds that he doesn't even know he's doing it.

It's a picture of how he's tried to organize his life. Pare it down to a very basic routine, very little interaction with other people outside the two he lives with. Because he can't trust other people, and he can't trust himself when they prove they can't be trusted.

Every Family Has Shadows in Their Attics

The first volume of Shadecraft starts with Zadie Lu misinterpreting her friend Josh's awkwardness as him wanting to confess feelings. No, he just wants his Nintendo Switch back. Zadie runs off and shortly after, is nearly attacked by shadows.

From there, writer Joe Henderson and artist Lee Garbett (with Antonio Fabela in colors and Simon Fowland as letterer) bring Zadie's life into view. She only has two friends at school, mostly known as the sister of the "coma kid." Her older brother Ricky is in a coma after a car wreck, cared for by their mother. Their father seems to act like the peacemaker between Zadie and her mother.

Zadie can't figure out why shadows are after her, but she does find that Ricky's come back to her as a living shadow. The two of them try to navigate that while while the new school counselor turns out to be something very different and Zadie figures out what's really going on with these shadows.

The shadows act at first as a stand-in for Zadie's emotional turmoil. They come out when she's embarrassed or angry, and she can't exert much control over them. The way they're rendered as these spectral dark shapes with tendrils drifting off them like smoke, I'm not sure whether to credit Garbett for inking that, or if that's all Fabela's coloring. But it makes for a nice contrast with the "normal" shadows, which tend to be sharply defined.

For most of the issues, Ricky is almost the imaginary friend brought to life. Able to become larger than life and help Zadie fend off the things that terrify her, and someone only she can communicate with. Which also gives her the chance to be able to say things to him she couldn't when he wasn't comatose. Able to strike back at the people who torment her without Zadie getting into trouble. 

It's why, when the counselor suggests "Ricky" is simply a shadow Zadie created, it feels like a logical conclusion. She's been complaining that she lived in his shadow, could never measure up, felt like he never acknowledged her except to be annoyed by her. But now he hangs out with her all the time, helps her, actually talks with her. It seems like all she could have wanted.

The "shadecraft" also acts as a point of connection between Zadie and her mother. They don't seem to have much in common. Melinda is very serious and grim, blunt with her criticisms. Zadie is much more glib and sarcastic, which she seems to get from her father, who uses his humor to defuse tensions (although his style is a bit drier than Zadie's). As it turns out, there are good reasons why Melinda is guarded and careful.

Garbett and Henderson also vary how people can use shadecraft. Zadie's tends to be more like a power ring, where she creates things out of the shadows. Melinda is closer to the New Warrior Silhouette, using shadows to move from place to place like portals. It's unclear if it's that each of them can only use shadows in certain ways, or they just initially manifested the abilities in a particular way. Melinda needed to escape from trouble, Zadie needed an outlet.

Garbett draws a world that looks a lot like surburbia in the U.S. The homes, the cars, I guess the clothes (hell if I know what high school kids wear these days). It looks pretty much like our world. The government types don't seem to have much in the way of special gizmos or anything. Fabela's coloring is likewise restrained. Nothing eye-searingly bright, but also not too murky. Otherwise, how could the reader tell when something was going on with shadows?

The volume ends by concluding the question of what "Ricky" really is, and could work as a conclusion if this is all there is. But they leave enough things open - the counselor isn't dead, and she knows to look for them now, and there's the question of how many more people like them exist - they could do more arcs easily.

Sunday Splash Page #222

 

"Rocket's Heroes," in Guardians of the Galaxy (vol. 2) #8, by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (writer), Brad Walker (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Wil Quintana (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

It took 13 years between the end of the first run of Guardians of the Galaxy before the team name got a second chance. This volume wasn't set in the future, though, but in the present, spinning out of Annihilation: Conquest, or more accurately, the Star-Lord mini-series that preceded it (see Sunday Splash Page #35).

After the mess of first Annihilus and then then Phalanx, Star-Lord wanted to put together a team to try and not only address that, but stop problems before they became problems. That worked about as well as being proactive usually does in superhero comics. At least in this case, Abnett and Lanning play into it, as the team falls apart after some unpleasant revelations come out in the obligatory 3-issue Secret Invasion tie-in issues. While they use this as a way to split into more manageable groups what will eventually become a roster of over a dozen characters, and as a way to introduce multiple other plot threads at once, it also discombobulates the team so much they're kind of playing catch-up from then on.

Or maybe a universe is simply too large to guard proactively. Minus an Infinity Gauntlet, you can't be everywhere to catch every problem before it begins.

Secret Invasion isn't the only event the book got involved in, but at least the others were things Abnett and Lanning were also controlling, like War of Kings. That made it easier to use the events to still push forward their larger plot threads. Pity some of them still didn't come to fruition. We never really saw a payoff of a big battle to keep the Magus from overtaking every reality, nor did Jack Flag ever have his big moment saving all of reality. Blastaar never got to take his shot at revenge on Star-Lord.

Paul Pelletier drew the first 7 issues, then stepped over to draw the main War of Kings mini-series. With his departure, the title alternated between Brad Walker and Wesley Craig. Walker drew the most issues, 10 in all, plus half of another, while Craig drew 7. Which is why I went with one of Walker's splash pages. Their styles are not at all similar, with Craig favoring more of a sharply defined, squared off look. Walker feels like he's in more of a Neal Adams mode. Craig seemed to have more of a knack for the big images, or maybe that's just my impression because he had a lot more splash pages in his issues than Walker.

The book worked with this, though, by assigning each artist to different plot threads, and then focusing individual issues on one thread or the other. During War of Kings, part of the team (Mantis, Star-Lord, Cosmo, Jack Flag and Bug), get pulled into a possible future by a Starhawk. Wesley Craig draws the issues focused on them, while Walker handles the issues focused on the remainder of the team trying to stop either Vulcan or Black Bolt from tearing the fabric of the universe asunder. It helps with the tonal whiplash.

Some characters get more development than others. Drax seems to actively try to connect with his daughter Moondragon, and before that, her girlfriend, Phyla. Jack Flag is the newb, out of his depth with all this cosmic stuff. Some of it's cool, some of it's horrible and he can't decide which way he feels one minute to the next. Phyla-Vell is the one doomed to never quite measure up. Always trying, but always getting the short end of the stick. All her decisions seem to go wrong.

On the other hand, Bug never seems like more than comic relief, the butt of a lot of jokes. Gamora doesn't seem to get much development, either, unless you count her falling back in step with Adam Warlock as some comment on her character.  The idea Mantis telepathically nudged people to work with Star-Lord kind of gets dropped. Definitely not much time spent on what she felt about doing that. Adam Warlock. . . what am I, Jim Starlin? I don't give a fuck about Adam Warlock.

The book ended at 25 issues in early 2010, leading into Thanos Imperative, which was the last hurrah of the Abnett/Lanning run. In 2013, they handed Guardians of the Galaxy to Bendis, of all people. I wasn't sticking around for that mess.

Saturday Splash Page #24

 

"Cryptid Warfare," in Wynonna Earp: Yeti Wars #3, by Beau Smith (writer), Enrique Villagran (artist), Kris Carter (colorist), Dave Sharpe (letterer)

Took eight years after Home on the Strange, but a third Wynonna Earp mini-series did eventually emerge. This was the one I referred to two posts ago, whose announcement Ragnell posted about. This time around, it's Earp and the other Marshals dealing with "The Consortium", which is a group of immortals that like to try and control things in secret. I'm not sure what sort of supernatural beings they are, as sunlight doesn't seem to bother them.

There's a Dr. Robidoux involved as well, who is the sort of guy who experiments on turning humans into monsters. He hasn't appeared in the earlier stories, but Smith writes it that he's been at this a while, and the Marshals have been after him as well. Unfortunately, now he's in a secure base that has not only armed immortal guards, but yetis as security, so getting to him is a bit of a problem. Fortunately Wynonna has a friend in the covert division of Fish & Wildlife (feel like I'm back watching The Invisible Man with all these covert agencies that are part of larger, more innocuous agencies) who pals around with four Sasquatches (named Chuck, Bronson, Clint and Duke, because of course they are). Duke's the one with a yeti in a headlock.

Wynonna feels like less of a focal point in this story, as Smith spends more time on how Robidoux is double-crossing The Consortium and Yetis fighting Sasquatches. Which, fair. That's fun to see. Smith also makes Smitty the butt of more jokes this time as apparently he and holly aren't dating anymore, so now she gives him a lot of crap about being old and whatnot. Wynonna's largely focused on business through all this, although she makes plenty of cracks at Smitty's expense as well. Overall, it seems like Smith, having dealt with Wynonna's heritage in the previous mini-series, wanted to tell an adventure that could also serve to fill out the setting. Give the reader a sense of some of the power struggles that aren't even related to what the Black Badge Division may be doing.

Villagran's art is very different from the artists on the earlier series. Rougher and grittier for sure. Reminds me a little of some of San Glanzman's DC war comics stuff in places. Or maybe not Glanzman, but someone in that vein. More graphic with the depictions of violence, though. At one point a yeti grabs a Marshal by the skull and rips his entire backbone clean out. Lots of headshots, since apparently that's how you deal with immortals, and Wynonna chops a guy's head off with a sword made of some metal Smitty took from the spacecraft that crashed at Roswell. (She actually had the sword in Home on the Strange, I just didn't mention it.)

Next week, Wynonna Earp gets a TV show, and there are comic tie-ins to discuss.

Random Back Issues #86 - Deadpool #296

I will never stop laughing at Deadpool making Captain America look bad in front of children.

Set after Secret Empire, everyone is after Deadpool for working with HYDRA Cap (who Wade refers to as "Stevil Rogers"), and killing Phil Coulson. His daughter Eleanor hates him, Rogue kicked his ass, and what's worse, Stryfe called in his favor.

During Civil War II tie-ins, Stryfe gave Wade the cure to a bio-weapon Madcap exposed Eleanor and Agent Preston's family to. In exchange, Deadpool had to kill five people for Stryfe. He'd just finished that at the end of last issue and here comes Captain America. Little late to the party, Sentinel of Liberty.

Deadpool swithces between trolling Cap and flinging accusations at him. That Cap only brought Wade in when he lost his super-soldier serum and needed someone to fight for him. Wolverine was dead, Deadpool was a convenient patsy. Cap counters joining the Avengers gave Wade structure, and he wouldn't have asked Wade to kill Coulson. Of course, Wade can rightly argue that a Steve Rogers did, indeed, order him to kill Coulson, and also asks if Cap would insist Black Widow be arrested if she'd been the one who did it?

Given the amount of questionable shit Natasha's gotten up to over the years, this would seem a fair point. Maybe Cap figures Natasha gets punished enough by having all her stories involve old enemies out for revenge.

While handcuffing Wade, Cap remarks he was surprised Deadpool didn't kill Stevil when he broke into his prison cell. 'Pool's counter (along with that headbutt) is Stevil being dead benefits Cap. Now he has to spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder. Deadpool's meta-sense clearly failed him as I'm pretty sure Stevil got shoved down the memory hole as fast as possible.

Deadpool suggests Stevil is the one who really represents America. He probably watches NASCAR and American Idol, so Sally Floyd would no doubt agree. Cap has been pretty calm up so far, but that pisses him off enough to slam Wade into the pavement hard enough to crack it. Then he gets goaded into pinning 'Pool to the ground with his own sword. In front of a bunch of horrified schoolkids.

Wade leads Cap into the sewers, along the way tricking Cap into punching some poor road crew worker by putting his mask on the guy. Again, the public is horrified, but Captain America won't give up! He will beat up as many municipal works employees as it takes to stop Deadpool! The chase ends at an abandoned subway station, the current location of Agent Preston's damaged and deactivated (both by Deadpool) body. Wade says she's the only one he'll surrender to, and insists Captain America fix her. When Cap protests SHIELD is disbanded, Wade screams, 'You're Captain Freaking America! Make An American Fix Her!' Might be better to outsource the job, but Cap probably can't take any more bad press after this escapade. No doubt Marvelverse Fox News was a big fan of HYDRA Cap and is already clamoring for his release from prison. 

To cover his escape, Wade has explosives on all the support columns, which would cause the office building above them to collapse, killing a lot of people. Captain America, not finished underestimating Deadpool, assumes he's bluffing. Wrong, but Wade only sets off one as proof and leaves. Duggan's run has 4 more issues to go, with the next 3 spent on Deadpool trying to get the super-criminal underworld to kill him, before Duggan presses the reset button on his own run in issue #300.

[3rd longbox, 200th comic. Deadpool (vol. 4) #296, by Gerry Duggan (writer), Matteo Lollo (artist), Ruth Redmond (colorist), Joe Sabino (letterer)]