Random Back Issues #167 - Our Army at War #229

That is pretty much the only way I would end up in a leadership position, too.

Not quite an 80-page giant, because it's only 64 pages, this comic reprints 5 stories from the first half of the 1960s. Including one we saw an image from a few months ago, but we'll get to that.

Leading off, "Battle of the Sergeants," contrasts Sgt. Rock with Sergeant Krupp. The differences in their training - at one point Rock comments that they both went to "school", but learned different lessons. Krupp is hearing a speech about their superiority and how they will rule the world, Rock and the other GIs see a picture of people in concentration camps, and are told not to play big hero with them, because they already fought the Nazis - and how they look when they're done. Rock says Krupp looks like he just stepped out on parade, while Rock looks like the parade stepped out on him.

Krupp earns his stripes by playing to win, whatever it takes. Like pretending to be a wounded motorcycle courier, then blowing up an Allied tank that stops to help. Rock, well, see image at the top. Krupp loves his stripes, Rock just feels the weight of obligation. On his first patrol as a sergeant, they find a camouflaged base, but Krupp shows up in a weapons carrier before they can leave. Rock's unit gets steadily picked off until it's just him and Ice Cream Soldier, who gets shot by a pursuing fighter. So Rock starts carrying him, determined to get at least one guy back alive.

But Krupp's still on their tail, telling the halftrack to lay mortar fire in front of Rock, driving him back to them. Krupp wants to have fun, to the point he's mad when he thinks his prey were blown up. Doesn't seem to jibe with his "anything to win" attitude. Rock's not dead, and takes out the halftrack, but Krupp uses the smoke for cover. Out of ammo, Rock tries to lead him away, and gets his gun smashed, then shot. Which brings Krupp in close - he wants to gloat - where Rock can pull him down and handle things hand-to-hand. As he staggers away from the late Sergeant Krupp (now likely sporting a broken neck) and towards Ice Cream Soldier, Rock notes his stripes feel lighter with every step. Well, yeah, your sleeves are gone. 

Second, we have "The Mouse and the Tiger," where an Allied pilot is shot down in a snowstorm. He has intel about a Nazi surprise attack, and a broken leg that says he's not going anywhere under his own power. It's a race to reach him, a Nazi Tiger on one side, and what's probably a U.S. Stuart (the basis for the original Haunted Tank) on the other.

Both tanks come under fire from enemy aircraft, but in keeping with the title, the Stuka that attacks the mouse is called a "hawk", while the Mustang is dismissed by the Tiger as a "pigeon". The mouse survives because the Stuka's cannonfire sets the forest ablaze, and the pilot doesn't see some treetops through the smoke. The Tiger shrugs off the Mustang's machine guns and blasts it from the sky. Both arrive at the downed pilot, but the "mouse" can't get anywhere near close enough to actually hit the "tiger", let alone hurt it. Especially with its treads leaving a perfect trail in the snow. . .

Third is "The Fighting Blip", where an American "daylight" ace gets lost on a photo recon mission. At least he's got a belly tank of extra fuel. Too bad he's out after dark and comes under fire from a Nazi night fighter. The night fighter has radar, so the American can't get away no matter what he does. Unless he can give the enemy something else to shoot at. 

In "Two Men - One Hill!" Nazi and American paratroopers try to take a hill. Someone forgot to check the forecast, because high winds blow everyone far away, except one soldier from each side. The story plays up the gap in experience, as we're told Corporal Karl Schmid has 'planted his big boots on 20 battlefields - and never lost yet,' while PFC Andy Allen's boots, 'had only touched training fields.'

They land at the same time, the wind catching their parachutes and flinging them around until Schmid hits Allen's gun, breaking it so it hits Allen in the chin. Allen picks himself up and follows the trail, right to a narrow passage where Schmid is waiting. Allen takes one to the jaw and rolls over the edge. Schmid seems confident that's that, but still holes up in a tank they tried to unsuccessfully air-drop on the mountain. So when Allen, who caught a tree growing from a seam in the rock, hauls himself up and resumes the ascent, Schmid chucks a potato masher at him. Third time is the charm?

You know that's not how it works. Allen somehow dove for cover behind the tank - even though he's nowhere near it - they fight, and Allen's the one who crawls out of the tank. Good thing his buddies are just as tough. Woulda been awkward, him holding the hill and all those Nazis show up. 20 battlefields' of experience right there.

Finally, "Surrender Ticket!" Colonel von Kritz decides it will be a big propaganda win if they can subject some of these green GIs to such pressure they surrender without a shot. But he picked Easy Company as his target (the air recon photos are detailed enough you can see the stripes on Rock's helmet), so he's shit outta luck.

Kanigher keeps introducing some Easy Joe, then immediately kills them, then the airdrop of the "surrender tickets." So "Prince Charmin'" and his hair care routine interrupted permanently by Stuka dive bombers. As the temp rises and water runs low, the C.O. advises everyone save their canteens. Then an artillery barrage. The C.O. leads them out (at an oddly slow walk, isn't that a time to run?), then collapses because he was mortally wounded. Which leaves Rock in charge, as von Kritz insists they 'tighten the nutcracker on these G.I. peanuts!' Now really low on water, a couple of guys aren't willing to wait when two Tiger tanks perched on a ridge overlooking an oasis open fire. Rock catches the second (and threatens to shoot anyone else who tries), but one guy runs out there and gets killed. 

Alas, the Nazis filled in the oasis. Can't drink sand, and this time, some of the Joes don't toss their tickets. There's another waterhole ahead, one Rock assures the guys can't be filled up (doesn't say anything about whether it could be poisoned, though) while worrying about their morale. But good old Beanpole is always willing to lend a hand. Help a tired guy walk. Shoulder his rifle. Act as a human shield. Uh, about that last one. . .

Easy reaches the waterhole, but all of them, except presumably, Sgt. Rock, kept their surrender tickets last time. Which is what von Kritz was counting on, and the reason why the soldiers and tanks barring the path to the water aren't firing. Fed up, Rock grabs the bazooka and fires it at a tank, while running. (Probably the least accurate part is an American bazooka doing that to a Nazi tank in one shot.) He hits some quicksand, but that seems to spur everyone into action. Bulldozer runs up to act as loader, and some of the guys climb into the burning tanks to provide cover fire for the ones climbing the hill. Von Kritz's insistence the G.I.s must break is met with a punch in the mouth.

The kicker is Rock hands von Kritz a surrender ticket, admitting him to any American POW camp for the rest of the war. Boom! Roasted.

{8th longbox, 15th comic, Our Army at War #229. "The Battle of the Sergeants," by Robert Kanigher (writer), Joe Kubert (artist), Gaspar Saldino (letterer), colorist unknown. "The Mouse and the Tiger", by Ed Herron (writer), Ross Andru (penciler), Mike Esposito (inker), colorist and letterer unknown. "The Fighting Blip," by Bob Haney (writer), Jack Abel (artist), Saldino (letterer), colorist unknown. "Two Men, One Hill," by Haney (writer), Mort Drucker (artist), colorist and letterer unknown. "Surrender Ticket!" by Kanigher (writer) and Kubert (artist), colorist and letterer unknown.}

Random Back Issues #157 - Our Army at War #225

Peculiar brand of mirages we're having today.

We're in the stretch of Our Army at War where Joe Kubert took over writing Sergeant Rock, with Russ Heath as the artist. In "Face Front", Rock's stuck babysitting Iggy and Gus, new guys in Easy Company who somehow wandered off during the night and got lost. This was apparently not desertion, just incompetence, but either way, Rock went out alone to find them. Now they're under attack by 3 FW-190s, so Rock's probably wishing he stayed in bed. Then again, Rock shot down more German planes than any actual American fighter pilot, so it's no surprise they down 2 of the fighters, but they still have to catch up to Easy.

On foot. During the heat of the day. In North Africa. While Gus and Iggy won't quit comparing their situation to things back on the home front. "Oh, we're stuck hiking while they're rationing gas back home." "You gotta have a ration card to buy shoes back home, but my boot's got a hole in it." 

Rock's probably happy the surviving fighter plane radioed the base to send out a halftrack full of Nazis (in shorts) to find them. Gives him someone to beat the crap out of, which they do, after tricking them with the bit where you prop up your helmet and disguise sticks as rifles. By the time the Nazis figure it out, well. . .

And we're still walking, but it's night, in the desert, so now it's cold. Which gives Iggy something else to whine about. Rock is saved from fragging his own men - who, again, are in this mess because they wandered off for some reason - by finding a Nazi fuel supply depot. Rock's gonna take it out, and when Iggy and Gus protest the odds, lets them have it (verbally) for spending all this time complaining how easy it is for folks back home, but refusing to do anything to help "Easy" Company. It's a strained analogy, but Rock's an infantry sergeant, not captain of the debate team. Iggy pretends to surrender, drawing attention so Rock and Gus can plant grenades around the fuel and the explosions catch Easy's attention and that's the end of the issue.

Second story, one of Sam Glanzman's U.S.S. Stevens tales, about a young sailor's first experience being on a ship under fire. While the experienced sailors calmly assess how close the planes are getting by what guns the Stevens crews are firing, the rookie decides to go topside for some water. This is a bad idea, and the rookie dives back down the ladder and jams a bucket over his head, thus the name of the story, "Buckethead". We're assured he turned out OK eventually.

Third, Ric Estrada writes and draws a story about some slaveholder hunting cranes in the swamps of Florida. "Mastah Chad" dismisses notions there might be "Injuns" around, which is when some Seminoles open fire from the shore. Chad avoids dying initially, which is more than his slaves manage, but only by getting himself lost in the swamps. His corpse is found 3 months later by soldiers. The story ends with the caption, 'Amid Florida's splendors--violence is common during the Seminole Wars of the 1830s!' on one side of the panel, and "KIRBY IS COMING" on the other. Well, hopefully he'll take care of all this violence in Florida then.

Lastly, Bob Haney/Joe Kubert bring us, "Anchored Frogman", about a frogman who, in the process of attaching an explosive charge to the hull of an enemy ship, gets his leg caught in a link of the anchor chain. Over the remaining 4 pages, as he reflects on how there's all this open water around him but he's trapped, he unsuccessfully tries to squirm free, fails to cut the chain with his cutting torch, and is in the process of being choked out by a Nazi frogman when the anchor starts to get raised. Before he can be squeezed through the hawser hole, his charge explodes and the shock throws him free of the chain. As this ship (and presumably all aboard) sink to the sea floor, he reflects that the people who taught him were right, there really is all kinds of room in the sea. Not if you keep sinking ships.

{8th longbox, 10th comic. Our Army at War #225, by Joe Kubert, Sam Glanzman, Ric Estrada and Bob Haney (writers), Russ Heath, Glanzman, Estrada and Kubert (artists)}

Sunday Splash Page #356

"Sky Train," in Metamorpho #2, by Bob Haney (writer), Ramona Fradon (penciler), Charles Paris (inker), Ira Schanpp (letterer), colorist unknown

After a couple of appearances in The Brave and the Bold, Metamorpho landed himself a bimonthly series that lasted 17 issues. Bob Haney wrote all of them, with Ramona Fradon as penciler for the first 4 issues, then Joe Orlando for 2, then Sal Trapani for 10 issues. Grand Comics Database has a note that Trapani used ghost pencilers, so who knows how much of those issues he actually drew.

Haney sticks to a pretty regular formula, where Metamorpho faces a weird science crook because his would-be father-in-law, Simon Stagg, was all too eager to either show off some new (probably malfunctioning) invention, or glad-hand with said science crook. Leaving Metamorpho to clean up the mess. Stagg heaps criticism on Rex, when he's not making sure to keep him under his thumb, while his daughter Sapphire frets about Rex, and Stagg's Unfrozen Caveman Lackey, Java, bemoans how Metamorpho steals Sapphire's affection away from him (when he's not trying -and failing comically - to play hero himself.)

Metamorpho usually transforms himself into some basic shape, with Haney making sure to have him describe both what he's making and what element it's made of. A "silicon sawblade", or "cobalt ram", things like that. Haney does try to create villains with science know-how so he can explain why something didn't work, or why Metamorpho's reacting badly. Metamorpho tries to use sulfur to create a smokescreen, the bad guy's chemical robot injects him with selenium, which replaces the sulfur and nearly kills Metamorpho.

One thing I didn't know before reading this series, and really only learned during Haney's version of Galactus' first time menacing Earth (where Galactus is a little guy who shoots devastating beams of energy from an eye on a stalk protruding from the top of his head), is Metamorpho can only transform into elements (or chemicals, which Haney seems to treat as interchangeable) that are found in the human body. The Silver Surfer stand-in (who is jetpack wearing dork with an atom symbol on his chest) mentions it, and that he commands the other 103 known elements, making him 4 times as powerful.

Haney introduces Urania Blackwell as a secret agent who gets herself the same powers as Metamorpho to fight a guy named Stingaree (oooooof), and then to act as a rival love interest to Sapphire, since the "Element Girl" has powers of her own that will let her fight alongside him. The conclusion to that, however, is just weird, even for Bob Haney. Sapphire marries some rich boy out of nowhere, then Rex is approached by a guy who wants the aid of the man who 'fought in 3 wars, put down two revolutions, hunted every dangerous animal there is', and brings him to a valley where he meets an ageless queen (who looks like Sapphire), and thinks Rex is her long-lost lover, who had the same powers.

That lasts one issue - because she wants him to lead her armies in conquest - and then Metamorpho's on trial for killing Sapphire's husband. The series ends with him on the run, but no immediate path to clearing his name since the one who framed him died at the hands of his mysterious client's giant bees?

Random Back Issues #43 - Star Spangled War Stories #155

Yeah, Unknown Soldier, I can't imagine why a black man in the 1940s might sound bitter.

OK, so the writing is not the appeal for this week's entry. No, it's that sweet Joe Kubert art that's the draw. First up, we have "Invasion Game!", where Unknown Soldier is parachuting into Occupied France under the cover of being a traveling salesman. He's seeking the leader of the Nightengale resistance cell Chat Noir, who is a former US Army sergeant, court-martialed. He never does say what the actual charge they made against him was, which I feel like is Haney trying to hedge and not actually suggest the Army might have engaged in racism.

Anyway, they've been talking for about five minutes when the Nazis find their hideout. In the escape, one man is wounded, and Chat Noir says they have to leave. 'We can't afford to sacrifice two. . .for one!' The resistance meets up again, and the Soldier explains Nightengale is needed to take the Nazi stronghold at Fleur-Le-Duc, to support the Allied landing at that beach. On June 5th.

You can see where this is going.

Chat Noir is suspicious, considering they got attacked right after they welcomed the "Salesman". The Soldier goads him by saying he ran out on his buddies because of a 'bum rap.' I'm pretty sure the Nazis aren't going any easier on Resistance fighters than official soldiers. Nightengale takes the stronghold, but surprise! There's no Allied landing. What's more, now they're under attack from a bunch of tanks and Stukas. The Soldier catches some shrapnel in the leg, and explains to an angry Chat Noir they used Nightengale to draw troops here, so they won't be able to make it back to Normandy by tomorrow. Considering how slow the Allies initial progress was through France, I'm not sure one day is gonna help that much, but fine.

Chat Noir, curiously, decides to help the Solider reach the shore and a French fishing boat, stating that since they're fighting the same enemy, 'maybe we're still part of the same country!' The Soldier must have gotten Chat Noir reinstated, as his batman, or second, or assistant, something like that.

Then we've got an untitled Enemy Ace story, where von Hammer is formally challenged by the Canadian ace, The Hunter. The Hunter showed up a couple of issues earlier to challenge two German pilots who ran for their lives from him. Von Hammer made them accept, and the Hunter shot them both down.

But this time, with challenging the Hammer of Hell, the Canuck bit off more than he can chew. Or maybe not. Their battles a back-and-forth thing with von Hammer in pursuit for most of it, but the Hunter always staying just out of reach. Finally, the Hunter turns so they're on a collison course. von Hammer can't pull away because it'll leave him exposed, so they just keep flying right at each other and shooting, until they both fall from the sky.

Von Hammer survives almost unharmed, despite his plane landing nose first into what looks like solid rock. That's what being drawn by Joe Kubert will do for ya. Your entire body transmutes to steel. He's determined to take his opponent in as a war prisoner. The Hunter's got other plans, and first tries to shoot von Hammer. He misses, but it doesn't matter, because he dies of his wounds anyway. Oh well, no prisoner for von Hammer, but he'll get another victory cup. Of course, as always, the sky is the true victor.

[10th longbox, 169th comic, Star Spangled War Stories #155. "Invasion Game!" by Bob Haney (writer), Joe Kubert (artist). Enemy Ace story by Robert Kanigher (writer), Joe Kubert (artist)]

Sunday Splash Page #96

"Element Guy? No Respect, I Tells Ya" in Brave and the Bold (vol. 1) #68, by Bob Haney (writer), Mike Sekowsky (penciler), Mike Esposito (inker), Stan Starkman (letterer), and colorist unknown 

The only four issues of the original Brave and the Bold series I have are all in the Showcase edition of Metamorpho. This one is about as representative of Bob Haney's brand of lunacy as any. Riddler, Penguin, and Joker team-up, and keeping trying to dose Batman with weird substances. The Joker pulls it off by booby-trapping the anti-booby-trapping switch in the Batmobile (seems like a design flaw by Wayne Enterprises there), and it transforms Batman into the thing seen above, temporarily.

He appraoches Metamorpho to keep him under control if he changes again until a cure can be found. Except Metamorpho fails miserably, then fails again to capture him later (by which point Bat-Hulk has press-ganged his three enemies into committing crimes with him.) He's only stopped when he grabs a TV antenna, intending to smash Rex Mason with it, and it gets struck by lightning, somehow curing him, even though electricity was not involved in the transformation at all.

Two things: One, I'm not sure Bob Haney's stories operate by any internal consistency, let alone any other kind. Unless "the universe is a weird place, man" qualifies. I know, this is not news to anyone who's spent any time on comic blogs in the last 15 years. Two, I'm a little disappointed Grant Morrison didn't bring back this version of Batman as Batsy's secret, secret identity in Batman R.I.P., instead of the patchwork Batman of Zur-En-Arrh.

The other three issues are Rex Mason's first two appearances, his origin and "The Junkyard of Doom", plus what's really more of a showdown with the Metal Men as opposed to a team-up. Although that one is notable for Will Magnus somehow curing Metamorpho, but Rex having to naturally undo the change to save the Metal Men who are under outside control, plus his groovy lady Sapphire (and also her scumbag dad and his caveman lackey).