31 Days of Scans - Least Favorite Male Character

Now, with this one there was no shortage of choices. So many characters came to mind, I had to almost immediately dismiss Batman. Hey, I at least like him in the cartoons. Cyclops didn't win, neither did Norman Osborn. Not even the Sentry could walk away with the prize.

Scipio mentioned a month ago the idea that the big bad of Convergence, Brainiac, is a stand in for the fans. Well, the obsessive collector, trivia buff fans, anyway. While I'm not thrilled at the idea DC once again making their paying audience the villain, I'd rather be represented by Brainiac than the pitiful specimen they saddled us with in Infinite Crisis. That's right, the winner is. . .

Superboy-Prime!

Jeez, what a pain the butt. What a waste of ink. I might have been able to deal with his constant whining about how things aren't how they used to be. It isn't a pleasant mirror to look in, but that doesn't mean I haven't been guilty of the same impulse (though it's hilarious coming from Geoff Johns, who often seems intent on restoring things to some past state he liked best). It was the character's constant obliviousness to his own failings, his constant unwillingness to take responsibility for the things he did that made him insufferable. If you're going to rip someone's arm off, then just fucking do it and cop to it. Don't feed us some sob story about how he made you do it, or it's his fault.

It's not like villains don't normally blame their problems on heroes. Doom blames everything on Reed, Luthor resents Superman, but they opt for threats and cool, grandiose speeches. They swear vengeance, or promise to prove their superiority next time. Superboy-Prime played the victim in the most annoying way possible, and because they wouldn't just definitively put him on ice, he kept popping up. He was in Infinite Crisis, then he beat up Mxy in Countdown and somehow stole his powers (still not clear on how that worked), and ran around destroying different Earths. He popped up in Sinestro Corps War, and probably some other stuff. The writers seemed to be in love with him, but I was just bored. I didn't want to see him defeated, I just wanted him gone.

I think I proposed once he could punch reality and finally create that perfect world he said he wanted. Except obviously a perfect world wouldn't have him in it, so he'd end up wiping himself from existence in the process. If one good thing came out of the New 52, it's that he hasn't reappeared. Though given his presence in some of Johns' pre-reboot Green Lantern stuff, all of which supposedly still happened post-reboot, I wonder if he did exist at some point, or if his stint working for the Anti-Monitor got airbrushed out of history.

Both those panels are from Infinite Crisis, so Johns was writing, Phil Jimenez was the artist. I think the first one is from issue 6, maybe issue 5. The second one is probably issue 3. I think that was the big "Superboy-Prime versus everyone" fight.

I'm Hoping Max Doesn't Have That Large A Blind Spot

Countdown to Infinite Crisis had the reveal that Max Lord was running Checkmate, he'd hijacked/been given by Alex Luthor Batman's spy satellite (good going Batman!), and was using its data for OMACs to use to kill, well, whoever, really. All because, best I recall, Max had a bug up his butt about there being too many metahumans, and they needed to be dealt with some the fate of humankind was in the hands of humans.

How was Max planning to deal with the fact he's a metahuman? Really, the Green Lanterns are more human (less metahuman, whatever) than him, they just wearing awesome jewelry*. The Booster Gold arc where Booster saved Ted, Max says that once the metahumans are gone, he'll turn Brother Eye off, but if the mission is to eliminate metahumans, well, it can't stop until Max is gone. The simplest explanation is Max was a power-hungry loon who justifies his continued survival under some belief that he's necessary, or he saved the world, so he gets to live, or that he won't be alter humanity's path like all those pushy capes.

I imagine Max had some failsafe to protect himself, but it would have been appropriate if he had tried to shut Brother Eye down, only to hear, "I'm sorry, but I can't do that, Max**", then an OMAC decapitates him or something. Or sets him adrift into space, if I'm sticking with the 2001 theme.

* Unless the DCU counts lots of willpower as a metahuman ability. Does it?

** I guess that should be "Eye'm sorry, but Eye can't do that, Max." That was an annoying tic they gave that satellite.

Perhaps Me And Crises Don't Mix

So Final Crisis has begun, amid great blogger debate over its quality. For me, the event itself falls into the same camp as Secret Invasion, which is "Don't care, don't care, so completely don't care." That being said, I am concerned about what effect it may have on the DC titles I'm currently enjoying, since books can be easily hijacked by these things. Two things sort of mitigate this: 1) I can't recall seeing much about regular monthly titles being tied into Final Crisis (as most of the tie-ins seem to be mini-series) and 2) Infinite Crisis itself wasn't terrible on the books I was reading when it came out.

Granted, Batgirl got dragged out looking for her mother and away from the supporting cast Andersen Gabrych had been building, but it also saved her from Chemo's getting dropped on Bludhaven*, so you take the good with the bad. Willingham was running out the clock on his Robin tenure, so we got lots of OMAC and villain fighting, which isn't a bad thing. Teen Titans didn't fare so well, as either very little seemed to happen or everything had already been covered in Infinite Crisis, but I think Johns' writing was being hurt by spreading himself too thin.

So perhaps I'm less concerned with what happens to Batman & the Outsiders or Booster Gold during Final Crisis, as what happens after. I mean, Infinite Crisis ended, One Year Later kicked in during March, and I dropped Robin and Teen Titans before the end of the year (Batgirl having been canceled). Robin had the whole "Cassandra Cain is his enemy now (not terrible). . . and she might be attracted to him (Terrible!)" thing that caused me to drop that book like it was a poisonous snake (complete with me stomping on it/running away afterwards). Teen Titans became entirely too joyless, and there was that dud called "Titans Around the World" where we learn the traitor in the Titans' ranks was the character we met one issue before. How unexciting. Unless Johns was counting on the return of Jericho to pep us up, and in that case, he really shouldn't have gotten rid of the mutton chops**.

So yeah, I'm concerned about what the new status quo will be in the DCU once Morrison finishes his possibly brilliant plan, and whether it'll disrupt the flow on the books I like. I know, really premature, seeing as Final Crisis won't end until, December, is it? But it's been worrying me, since I did finally find some DC titles I'm enjoying again, so you know, just felt like throwing it out there.

Oddly, I'm not that concerned about Secret Invasion, mostly because I don't think it'll really change anything. That's probably a bit of false hope, but World War Hulk didn't disrupt any books I was reading, and while Civil War didn't help my opinion of Ms. Marvel, it did get me on board the Cable/Deadpool bandwagon, and after The Other, the Amazing Spider-Man Civil War tie-ins were a welcome change, with their lack of people's eyes being ripped out and eaten***. At least initially, because it eventually leads into One More Day, and well, let's just not go there, shall we?

*That still strikes me as a remarkably extreme response from Deathstroke. Nightwing gets one over on you, so you blow up his city? Poor form, Slade.

**Really, what's the point of bringing Jericho back without the 'chops?! Not many people can make that look work! Probably including Jericho.

***JMS, Deodato, what was that about? You previously established Morlun survives by draining the life energy of the totems, so why he is actually ingesting body parts?! Gah!

I Spy, With My Little Eye. . .

Something that leaves me wondering.

I know it was a long while back, but I was thinking about The OMAC Project (The Infinite Crisis mini-series, not the Jack Kirby creation that causes Chris Sims to freak out). In the second issue, Max Lord is spying on a conversation between DC's fabled "Trinity", plus Booster Gold. You know, it's the part where Batman matter-of-factly states Ted Kord is dead, Booster tries to fry him, but Superman plays the spoilsport and blocks the shot (lame).

But I was thinking, wouldn't it be really hard to spy on them while they're inside the Watchtower? I mean, given the amount of security Brad Meltzer told us they placed around their homes, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume the Watchtower would be even more protected, what with all the high-tech supervillain weaponry there. I'd figure it'd be very difficult to break in and plant hidden cameras,, and you'd think they're bright enough to have long-range cloaking technology, thus preventing Brother Eye from doing the spying.

The way I see it, there are two options (excluding the "it's poorly thought out garbage" hypothesis):

Option 1 - Brother Eye is able to bypass all the JLA security measures because he was modified by the all-knowing, all-powerful, living Editorial Wanking Tool known as Alexander Luthor. If he can make it so Brother Eye resides in some sort of side dimension, then I suppose he can design it to see what's going on inside one of the most heavily fortified installations around. Forget Silver Age Superman or Terra Man, Alexander Luthor really can do anything!

Except kill Nightwing.

Option 2 - The JLA significantly reduced their security measures, because Oliver Queen wouldn't quit bitching about how all the self-defense mechanisms made them look like a bunch of fascists trying to hide their plans for world-domination and ethnic cleansing from the little people they're planning to subjugate.

What? He was really drunk that night. That makes him louder and more annoying, if you can believe that.

No post tomorrow, I'm heading out of town for the day. I'll be back on Sunday. Auf wiedersehen.

House of Modified Ideas Seems Apt

So I'm going to predict that in the upcoming Annihilation mini-series (which I'm eagerly awaiting) Aegis and Tenebrous are going to be the big problem, not Annihilus. Annihilus wants to destroy all the life he considers a threat to him (which is apparently most of it), Aegis and Tenebrous seem more interested in destroying the entire universe. So we've got an Infinite Crisis situation, only done a little better I think.

Infinite Crisis gave us four crises, then revealed that the true threat was causing all of them. Of course, within the minis, we didn't get much outright evidence that there was another threat, beyond the two Luthors running around in Villains United, and the appearance of Pariah (anything else?). Personally, I still feel Villains United would have been better if Lex Luthor was running both groups, using the Six as a Boogeyman to scare people in joining the Society, but that wouldn't have fit the larger game plan, so oh well.

Annihilation seems to have simplified the idea a bit. There's one major threat - the Annihilation Wave - and it's actions (destroying the Kyln) have unwittingly unleashed the much larger threat, the two Galactus level beings that now appear to have Thanos on their side. So I figure that just like Infinite Crisis, Annihilus is going to be put on the backburner in favor of dealing with the real problem. Think about it.

Silver Surfer has joined Galactus to help him in his battle, and he's decided to stay clear of the Annihilation Wave. Super-Skrull, who would have kept going after the Wave, is gone. Nova is all set-up to have a major confrontation with Bug-Boy this week, which might just settle that, and Ronan doesn't seem to care about any of it. The Wave's primary source of food was destroyed, the attempts to harness the Power Cosmic are failing, the plan is starting to run out of steam.

I'm actually going to predict that Annihilus fills the Black Adam role of "Bad Guy Who Fights Bigger Evil" and ends up helping fight Aegis and Tenebrous. Because I'm sure they won't balk at destroying him too, and his whole scheme was to solidify his standing and lessen the chances of his doom.

I have to say I like Annihilation's strategy better than Infinite Crisis. It doesn't feel as buried in continuity, where you have to know about Crisis on the Infinite Earths to get why these Pocket Dimension schmoes are so pissed. Marvel seems to have said 'Screw it. Let's just create some new things to be the primary threat. All people will need to know is that they're really powerful and they want to end existence.' Which, when combined with the Nova Corps files in the back that explain who all these rarely used characters are, makes it a bit more accessible to a new reader. Of course, sales will tell whether that turns out to be true or not. The lack of recognizable, iconic Marvel characters may hurt sales, but hopefully it'll do well.

Because Everyone Else Is Doing It

I'm going to talk about Infinite Crisis #7. I won't discuss whether it was good or not, whether it accomplished what it was supposed to or not. I've already spent a considerable amount of time on this blog kvetching about this huge event, and how DC seems determined to piss me off, so objectivity is a non-factor. Still, a few things need to be said.

How is Dick Grayson still alive? You're telling me Alex Luthor was firing at Batman with intent to damage fabric? That guy can recreate the multiverse, but can't kill an ordinary human? The funny thing is when Nightwing got hit I went "Oh shit! They killed Grayson! That means we have two new Nightwings, Jason Todd and the guy Todd thinks is Grayson." Of course, that isn't the case.

Why couldn't Power Girl be involved in the Kryptonian fight? I suppose I should be thankful, if she had they'd have probably killed her instead of Old Fart Superman and I'd have burned DiDio alive. Still, we can't see Power Girl wailing on SuperPunk Prime?

Now when he's powered up, the Ray is pure energy, moves at the speed of light, can travel between star systems. Yet he couldn't keep up with SuperPunk Prime. But the Supermans can, but they can't go fast enough to hit the Speed Force? I call editorially mandated bullcrap. Ray could have done some damage, hit the little punk with concentrated red solar radiation, while leaving the Supermen full powered. Would have been some serious whupping going on.

At least I got to see him one more time, before he's shifted out in favor of this guy in the new Freedom Fighters book. Ugh.

Joker killed Alex Luthor? Good. SuperPunk Prime not dead? Bad. I admit I don't know what the purpose of Infinite Crisis was, but it seems like it was meant to clean up the leftover mess from Crisis on the Infinite Earths. Leaving one of the Pocket Dimension Four alive to cause trouble does not count as "cleaning up"!

OK, I'm finished.

Things I Think About #24

Hey, it's my 100th post! Whee! And I'm typing it in the Biology Grad Student Office, because I'm stuck here until 7 o'clock tonight and I'm bored as hell! Uh, Woo-hoo?

Here's the question for the day: When did Alex Luthor capture Nightshade?

I saw her hooked into his Multiverse Maker, as the representative of Earth-4, I think. I can't keep all these Earths straight. When then hell did he catch her? Between making a new Earth, and killing Jade with his Giant Space Appendages, he's been busy. And Superboy-Prime was too busy throwing a hissy fit to do it. And Old Fart Superman probably wouldn't have even been told about it, since he was under the impression that Alex was only bringing back Earth-2, I think.

So when - and how - did this happen? Was it in the Day of Vengeance one-shot? Wouldn't her teammates have had something to say about her abduction? Couldn't Ragman have made passing mention of the disappearance of his fellow Shadowpacter, when he was talking to Mr. Terrific? Arrggghhhh, just how is Alex Luthor doing all this? Is he really Geoff Johns in disguise, showing off his total control of DC by doing whatever he damn well pleases?

Things I Think About #23

I was reading an issue of Wizard, and they were talking with someone from DC about all the lead-ins to Infinite Crisis. Included in this was the fact that the Legion of Superheroes reboot was the result of Superboy-Prime punching the walls of reali. . . I can't even finish that sentence. That has to be the dumbest explanation for anything I've ever read in comic books. Still, it raised this question:

How long has Alex Luthor been manipulating Hal Jordan?

We know that the Red-Headed Step-Luthor used Psycho-Pirate to trick Jean Loring into being Ecpliso's host, so Eclipso could convince the Spectre to destroy all "ordered" magic. Good Lord that's convoluted, and I'm still not sure I buy the Spectre as a big ol' horndog. But how long has Alex been at this?

Did he have something to do with Hal and the Spectre parting ways? Was he the one who directed the Sun-Eater to Earth's sun, forcing Hal to sacrifice his life to reignite it? Did he somehow engineer the destruction of Coast City, which left Hal in a more vulnerable position for Parallax (I never did understand why Superman-Cyborg decided to destroy Coast City instead of Metropolis, Gotham, New York, Central or Keystone City, Washington D.C.)? Was Alex in secret communications with the Big Yellow Locust of Fear, while it was still trapped in the Central Power Battery? And could a being that's been around for billions of years be fooled by Luthor? I suppose so, since he is evidently the most clever and powerful being in existence. Still, where does the meddling end?!

To all this, I can only conclude by saying, "Ugh". And Field Botany is going to kick my ass for the next eight weeks. Ugh squared.

Things I Think About #11

Why is Watchmen regarded as such a great piece of work? I'm not criticizing it, as I've never read it, just curious.

Is Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers in continuity with the rest of DC, or is it like All-Star Superman, off in it's own little world?

What was the reason for leaving Earth-2 Lois and Superman, Superboy, and Alex Luthor alive in a pocket dimension? Was there some reason why they had to survive the Crisis outside of the universe?

That being said, I believe one of them is going to die in each of the remaining issues of Infinite Crisis. We lost Superboy in #4, I think Lois will die on the 2nd page of #5, because it turns out that getting back to Earth-2 doesn't help when you're like 900 years old. This leads to Old-Superman going after current Superman in a grief-stricken rage, before realizing he's been used by Luthor. He'll die in #6 against Alex, before Alex gets taken out in #7, by Donna Troy and Jade. Naturally they will perish in the process. The grief of losing two more girlfriends causes Kyle Rayner to lose it and don the mask to become Ion, the Avenging Green Lantern!

And why the hell would Peter Parker let Tony Stark design his new costume? Why not Reed Richards? Tony Stark builds armor for people who lack powers. Reed Richards builds uniforms for people with powers, so the uniforms work with the powers, such as being able to stretch, or resist high temperatures, etc.

Or Peter could just, you know, keep the same costume he has now.

Randomness - Things I Think About #9

Infinite Crisis #4 left me with two major thoughts/questions.

Barry Allen said he would see Wally three times, when Wally needed him most. Did his appearance against Superboy count as the third time? Becuase I kind of figured Barry meant he would time travel and see Wally, which wasn't really what happened.

Second, I feel much better about the Ray's chances of surviving Infinite Crisis. Alexander Luthor seems at least interested in Power Girl, but he still put her in the machine. This, to me suggests that the machine doesn't kill the people being used to power it. Up till now I figured Ray was screwed under my "If I like them, they're doomed" theory.

Other stuff:

Thief: Deadly Shadows for the Xbox is a lot of fun. Basically, it's Splinter Cell in a medieval setting, which allows for magic and the undead. Plus religious factions you have to do things for, or they try to kill you on sight. Of course if you do enough, they'll have your back if you get attacked around them, which can be handy for escapes. I'm playing the game through a second time, and taking more time to explore, and so getting alot more loot. I'm hoping the upcoming level in the abandoned insane asylum/orphanage is still eerie the second time through. The lighting is great, listening to some of these people when they catch a glimpse of you can be amusing (I got a real laugh out of some drunk guard I spooked this evening. Then after he dropped his guard, I busted him over the head). Just a good time if you're a person into games built on being sneaky. Come on, indulge your inner Catwoman. Whip and leather not included.

Odd thoughts: I was looking up at the sky one night. I see stars. I know there are enough stars out there to cover the sky, but many are too dim or too far away for me to see them. So what I'm wondering is whether or not I'm actually seeing all those stars I see up there, or if my mind is filling in the blanks because it knows the stars are there, even if I can't see them. This feels significant to me somehow, like I'm on the verge of staring over the edge of the universe. Or not.

Sorry, I just didn't feel like talking much about comics today.