Random Back Issues #173 - Peter Parker: Spider-Man #91

All right, it's the good Identity Crisis! What? I'm entirely serious.

Spider-Man's been framed for the murder of some guy named Joey Z. By Norman Osborn, because this was post-Clone Saga, when they made Osborn into Peter Parker's Kingpin, aka, the guy that's behind everything that goes wrong in the hero's life. In response, Peter adopted 4 new costumed identities, which makes getting ready for a clandestine meeting with Arthur Stacy (Gwen's uncle) and a Detective Snipes tricky. MJ has a good laugh at his expense, so Peter throws on his regular duds in a huff.

Snipes had some 'lab boys' analyze a sample of Spidey's webbing, and it doesn't match what was used to suffocate Joey Z. The mayor and D.A. are getting pressure from 'the private sector' (read: Osborn), and they don't care. Spidey figures the only person who could approximate his webbing is The Trapster, and, lo and behold, he's got a price on his head. The issue started with him handling some members of the Hand (?!) that tried to collect.Also, the Trapster's look now involves him tying fabric around his head like he's a ninja.

Peter's ready to hunt Trapster down and do a little enhanced interrogation, but Stacy points out that kind of direct approach is what started this (he got physical with Norman.) I would argue that only proves he didn't get physical enough. He needed to tear Osborn's head off and drop kick it into a furnace. But fine, Peter will try and take advantage of Paste Pot's desperation.

MJ wasn't happy about Peter going out as Spider-Man with a price on his head, and the cold shoulder is in full effect as they cram for midterms at the university library. Peter tries to get her to talk about it, but MJ needs to study. Besides, Peter will just do whatever he wants, so what's there to talk about?

Peter tries again outside the library, now in the Dusk outfit he picked up in the Negative Zone, but he tells MJ he's doing this no matter what so, she was right. He's going to do what he wants. Maybe Peter needs to add a debate and rhetoric class to his course load. Also, MJ comments she sometimes thinks she'd be better off if she just didn't know about the secret identities and all that. Careful what you wish for and all that.

Elsewhere, Trapster's walking down the street, mulling over his wasted life (paraphrasing) when a mysterious figure grabs him by the scruff of his coat and quotes Terminator 2. Because the Shocker's looking to collect the price on Trapster's head. Stop laughing, he's serious! Seriously chunky, and I don't think it's just Romita Jr.'s tendency to bulk everybody up like they've been hitting the wheatcakes extra hard.

Despite doing a lot of darting out of the shadows to hit-and-run, Peter keeps running his yap like he always does. Leave it to Howard Mackie to not understand Peter was supposed to behave differently in the different costumes, in addition to acting differently. (He does do better in the next issue.)

The fight is a mess, in a bad way. It feels like Romita Jr. and Mackie aren't in sync. At one point, Dusk punches Shocker in the back of the head. On the next page, we get a long shot of Shocker seemingly alone on the trashed roof, but in the very next panel, he is, for some reason digging himself out from underneath rubble. Then there's what looks like a blast from his gauntlets, except it's from behind him and Romita adds little surprise lines around Shocker's head like he's being surprised. Then a small panel of Trapster looking, something, before Dusk sweeps over the Shocker again.

I think what's happening is, Peter knocks the wreckage on the left side of the first panel on top of Shocker in the second panel, and that's what he's blasting. There's a barely visible "Get over it!" on Shocker's shoulder in the middle of the 2nd panel, where they didn't put a speech balloon. That's probably Dusk's dialogue. 

Anyway, Shocker loses, Dusk stops Trapster from gluing the valves of his heart shut, says he's also someone Norman Osborn screwed over, and they should work together to get even. Look, even if this is not a particularly good example, I stand by my claim this Identity Crisis is better than Brad Meltzer's version. It's that low of a bar to clear.

{8th longbox, 52nd comic. Peter Parker: Spider-Man #91, by Howard Mackie (writer), John Romita Jr. (penciler), Scott Hanna (inker), Gregory Wright (colorist), Richard Starkings and Kiff Scholl (letterers)}

Random Back Issues #75 - Avengers Spotlight #29

That is the most exposition-laden attempt at a threat I've ever seen.

We looked at the issue prior to this back in February, when Acts of Vengeance was in full swing, but it's into the epilogue now. So much so, the lead story isn't even part of the event!

Hawkeye arrives at the hospital in response to a plea for help. The guy making the plea, former Defenders supporting cast member and general pain in the ass Dollar Bill, specifically requested Daredevil, but supposes Hawkeye will do. 

Dollar Bill's been filming a cable TV show with Madcap, called, creatively enough, "The Madcap Comedy Hour." If the brief clip we see is any indication, it's basically Jackass, as Madcap is standing in a burning trash barrel, to the confusion of assorted homeless people. It doesn't actually harm him, as he hops out, scrubs off, and throws on a fresh costume, all while talking about the pointlessness of life. Then he gets abducted by two guys in a van whose hands turn into tools. Dollar Bill admits Madcap is obnoxious and a menace to society, but will "Mr. Eye" help him?

Besides, their show was just about to get syndicated.

Hawkeye, having either absolutely nothing better to do, or having taken too many shots to the head, agrees. He tracks the license plate of the van to the Scuzz Club, and has barely taken a seat at the bar before he's dumped through a trap door. Madcap's tied up, and there are three guys with tools for hands: Pick Axe, Vice, and Triphammer. Oh god, this is really scraping the bottom of the burning trash barrel. Hawkeye quickly frees Madcap, who gets an arm chopped off by the fourth member of the team, a lady with a saw for a hand. During the fight, he gets her glasses off and is able to use his weird eyes to make her go nuts.

Hawkeye reveals the one behind it, and as we saw, Dr. Malus thankfully introduces himself for people who wouldn't otherwise recognize a scrawny Dr. Octopus-looking dweeb. I'm not sure how he expected Daredevil to show up. Dollar Bill doesn't mention receiving a ransom note or anything that specified Daredevil. Smart guys, always missing the obvious stuff.

Malus sets the self-destruct, everybody clears out, then Madcap goes back in for his arm. There's an explosion, but he walks out fine, determined to find Malus, because whatever his machine was, the energy it produced made him actually feel. Clint regrets getting involved almost as much as I regret reading it.

The second story is actually Acts of Vengeance related. A bunch of villains are being dropped off at the Vault, right as Iron Man is delivering new models of Guardsmen armor. The rest of the Avengers depart, with Captain America asking Iron Man to let his "boss" Tony Stark know they appreciate his work helping make the Vault more secure. You know, after that time Stark broke in and wrecked all the Guardsmen armors. Iron Man says he'll make sure Stark gets the message, and Cap replies, 'I'm sure he will.' Because Captain America's not a dumbass.

Iron Man's just about done walking the guards through using the armor when the Wizard gets brought it, his costume neatly packed in a suitcase, courtesy of Loki. Klaw makes an attempted rescue, kicking Iron Man around with sound-created Triceratopses, but Shellhead creates a counter-frequency with his unibeam to dissolve them and then Klaw. 

The Wizard's suited up by now, not that I expect it to help much. But one of the Guardsmen shows up, wanting to handle things. Sure, should be good for a laugh. Well, he takes everything the Wizard can throw at him and drops him in just over one page. I was right, it was good for a laugh. How embarrassing. It's almost like the Wizard was a third-rate schmuck all along. The Guardsman proclaims this new (really bulky) armor as good as Iron Man's, who replies, 'Don't you believe it.' Tony is no doubt already planning another attack on the Vault to trash these new armors as well.

Inside the Vault, the Wizard, now stripped down to his briefs, can't resist the urge to run his yap. He claims the guard would be no match for him man to man. Has the Wizard looked in a mirror lately? The guard, who was nearly killed by the Wizard in the original breakout, obliges by getting out of the armor. Then he flattens the Wizard with one punch. Trust Dwayne McDuffie to know what I wanted to see.

[2nd longbox, 55th comic. Avengers Spotlight #29, "What's the Point?" by Howard Mackie (writer), James Brock (writer/penciler), Roy Richardson (inker), Mike Rockwitz (colorist), Jack Morelli (letterer); "Tales from the Vault" by Dwayne McDuffie (writer), Dwayne Turner (penciler), Chris Ivy (inker), Mike Rockwitz (colorist), Rick Parker (letterer)]

Random Back Issues #52 - Avengers Spotlight #28

That's it, that's the entire conceit of the story.

The last time we looked at an issue from this series, it was still called Avengers Solo, and focused on Hawkeye being roped into working for Silver Sable to get home after he was abducted and taken to France by his mentor Trick Shot. Now it's Avengers Spotlight, and we've got an Acts of Vengeance tie-in. Which would normally be cause for celebration on this blog, but the first story is pretty lackluster.

As arguments over the Super-Human Registration Act rage, Hawkeye and Mockingbird are committing robberies in Denver. Which is news to Hawkeye and Mockingbird, news they only learn by reading the New York Post (despite living in Los Angeles?). Hawkeye wants to sue someone, but Bobbi suggests they simply investigate, so they hop a Quinjet to Denver. Since they radio the airport for permission to land, the cops are waiting, stunned they actually come back. Clint's ready to throw down, but a convenient radio call informs the police Hawkeye and Mockingbird are robbing a bank.

The heroes rush off, and when they reach the bank, well, Mockingbird thinks she's seeing doubles, but Hawkeye sees Angar the Screamer and Screaming Mimi (the future Thunderbolt Songbird). I don't know if I'd ever really looked at her Screaming Mimi get-up, but holy shit that's terrible. Turns out the two acoustic-based villains figured out their powers could combine to make Angar's hallucinations something other than weird monsters. So they decided to impersonate two Avengers and have a crime spree. Brilliant.

 

Anyway, Hawkeye's immune because he doesn't have his hearing aid turned up (not joking), so he catches them with no sweat. Not sure how he was able to talk with the police or Mockingbird if he couldn't hear the villains' sound powers, but maybe it's some sub-harmonic his hearing aid can't detect. 

The second story is a bit more clever. Makes sense, considering it was written by Dwayne McDuffie while the first one was by Howard Mackie. The mysterious guy (Loki) who convinced all the bigwig villains to team-up, is making the same pitch to the Mad Thinker. Who declines, because he predicts disaster for everyone involved, especially Mysterious Guy when his "brother" figures out he's behind it. Loki freaks out the Thinker deduced his identity and bails, but the Thinker's not quite done for the day. The SHRA passing would be bad for a lot of his schemes, too, so he decides to turn public opinion against it.

Several weeks later in Washington D.C., Wonder Man and the Wasp are supposed to make a speech about why the SHRA is a bad idea, although neither is sure what to say. Great planning there, team. They're saved from needing to be eloquent by the arrival of a large man calling himself, eventually, Gargantua. He starts picking up cars and throwing them around, although he's confused at the reason. Wonder Man's trying to fight him, but he forgot his little jet packs he wore on his hips, so he can't reach the guy's jaw.

 

Really? Guy's only 50 feet tall or so. Wonder Man's supposed to be a strong as Thor. He can't do a Hulk-jump that high? Spider-Man can almost jump that high. Fucking lame, Simon, go back to your crappy Arkon movies.

Anyway, the Wasp figures an attack from inside might go better and flies in Gargantua's ear. Where she hears a voice giving commands. She crawls further in, reflecting this guy never cleans his ears, and finds some little transmitter, which she smashes so she can give orders.

Outside, Simon's climbed a telephone pole, and Gargantua, as ordered, politely bends over so Simon can paste him one. Simon and Janet figure out what to say for their speech, to a crowd already fired up by their heroics, and the Thinker sits in his lab and reflects it was nice to win one for a change, even if helping heroes isn't something he wants to make a habit of.

I like the idea that not all the villains were on-board with this scheme, for whatever reason. I know in Spectacular Spider-Man, they nodded at the fact that some villains didn't appreciate others horning in on their turf so to to speak, and started fighting amongst themselves.

{2nd longbox, 54th comic. Avengers Spotlight #28, "Denver Doubles" by Howard Mackie (writer), Al Milgrom (penciler), Don Heck (inker), Paul Becton (colorist), Jack Morelli (letterer); "Second Thoughts" by Dwayne McDuffie (writer), Dwayne Turner (penciler), Chris Ivy (inker), Mike Rockwitz (colorist), Jack Morelli (letterer)}

Ah, well. . .

Crap. I was saving that as a post for some day when I was running low on ideas, but now Scipio's gone and put it out there. So exactly what plot threads would I like to see resolved?

Two leap to mind:

Perhaps shockingly, the first thread is courtesy of one Mr. Austen. Yes, you read that right, I want a follow up to a story from Chuck Austen. No, this isn't Un-CalvinPitt. Yes I'm feeling fine. When Austen left, he had School Nurse Annie realize that the X-Men life is entirely too dangerous for her son to be around, and she leaves. This of course left Havok to fall into Polaris' psychotic arms on the rebound, leading to more angst. Ugh. Anyway, as she and her son leave, the kid (who is a powerful telepath/telekinetic, what a surprise!) is talking to his "new friend" who Annie (and us) can't see. I don't have it in front of me, but as they story ends, the kid says something fairly ominous about her getting to meet his friends, or that they'd definitely see the X-Men again, and he gets a decidedly frightening look on his face. I've always wanted to know what was up with that. Since even a few years ago I didn't understand how switching a creative team worked, I naively believed it would be touched on in just a short amount of time. You'd think that fact that Austen made Gambit blind, and Claremont reversed that in about 3 seconds would have wised me up.

So I'm left wondering who the kid's friend was. Shadow King? Malice? The disembodied soul of Apocalypse? Say maybe that's how he came back, he took control of the kid's body! Keep in mind, I'm not asking for Austen to come back and answer this, I'd prefer someone good at making a surprise that makes sense. Or at least someone who isn't terrible. See, told you I wasn't Un-CalvinPitt.

Second thread:

Howard Mackie introduced a cat near the end of his time on Amazing Spider-Man. Peter found the cat (which smelled very bad) outside a night club, and some weird cyber-goons as well. Peter assumed they were after Spider-Man, but they really wanted the cat. The cat apparently recognized the value in having a super-powered protector, and followed Pete home.

What was up with the cat? We never found out. But between an seemingly intelligent cat, and the dog that Paul Jenkins was about to give Peter's neighbor across the alley, the comedy potential was there. The dog could have been a plant from the cyber-goons, designed to figure a way past Peter's defenses to get at Smelly Cat.

Unfortunately, JMS took over three issues later, and there was no resolution. Now I would be willing to give this assignment back to the original writer. I have at least that much trust in Mackie.