All-Father's Always On Thor About Something

So I was flipping through my copies of the Kurt Busiek/George Perez "Ultron Unlimited" storyline on New Year's Day, as one does. I get to the "Ultron. We would have words with thee." panel. You know the one:

Yeah, that's it.

Anyway, for the first time I noticed that Thor's helmet is missing one of its little wings. Which is not a type of battle damage I've seen Thor's outfit take before. Lose the helmet entirely? Sure. Happens all the time. Happens on the very next page, actually.

(Interestingly, Captain America still has both of the little wings on his cowl, although one got colored blue in the panel above. I guess that comes with being willing to actually dodge attacks sometimes.)

For some reason, I figured Odin would give Thor a lot of crap about this when he gets back to Asgard to get his outfit patched up. Probably because Odin is kind of a dick. I don't think Odin cares if Thor gets dirty fighting frost giants, but I can see him finding it vaguely insulting Thor would have that much trouble with any threat he'd face on Midgard.

"My son, surely thou hast not allowed the mortals to see thine raiments in such a horrid state?"

"Father, the mortals' eyes were very much focused on the indestructible killer robot I was smashing to a pulp."

Thor's lying a bit there, of course. He tried smashing Ultron in the face. Ultron, like me on New Year's Eve, refused to get smashed. Odin doesn't have to know that. And he won't, as long as Heimdall keeps his trap shut. Considering Heimdall probably knows half of the times Odin goes into his "Odinsleep", he's really just hungover or trying to get out of visiting his in-laws, the All-Father probably doesn't want him blabbing too many secrets

Han's Gotta Do Things His Way

Over the weekend I came across Return of the Jedi on TNT. I haven't watched the movie in a while, and I didn't ultimately stick around long this time either. Hey, the NBA playoffs were on.

The Rebels are sneaking around in the forests on Endor, and I noticed that while Luke and Leia are both wearing the helmets, and camo ponchos, Han Solo is walking around with no protective headgear in a camo trenchcoat.

The lack of a helmet isn't a surprise. Han doesn't strike me as a character that worries much about cranial trauma. And if I had his hair, I wouldn't want to wear that dumb helmet either. But I did find it funny the others are wearing something that seems appropriate for roughing it in a wet, wooded area, and Han's rocking a big coat instead, like he's in the middle of a Western. I suppose it would keep the rain off, although it seems like it'd weigh a ton when it got wet, and get caught on things easily. All the other rebels appear to be wearing full-body camo outfits. Either a jacket and pants combo, or camo coveralls.

I would guess Harrison Ford's height might have something to do with it. Maybe they didn't have any ponchos in Han's size. The Rebel Alliance is a cash-strapped organization, certainly compared to the Empire. Uniform budgets were probably an easy cut. The ones Luke and Leia have barely go past the waist. Han might look like he was wearing a peculiar lobster bib.

On the other hand, even if they had a poncho appropriate for his size, Han turning it down. Just doesn't work for him, he says. Maybe they'd have something a little cooler, with a few more pockets? The quartermaster looks at General Leia, she looks at Chewie to see if Han is serious. The Wookie shrugs, she rolls her eyes, and tells the guy or gal to make something happen. Han is oblivious to all this unspoken communication. Luke is somewhere in the background hiding a chuckle behind his hand.

31 Days of Scans - Day 24

Today is for Least Favorite Costume. Now, I want to emphasize that it's "least favorite", not "worst". There are countless costumes worse than the one I'm going to pick on here. The various female characters on the X-Men alone could fill a month of Sundays, depending on your sartorial preferences. Wonder Man had that god awful Christmas colored outfit for a stretch in West Coast Avengers (which would have bothered me more if Simon hadn't wound up in the role of "egotistical asshole" on the team, an impressive feat for a roster that had Tony Stark and Clint Barton). Then there were all the terrible "armored" outfits of the '90s: Captain America's, Daredevil's, that suit Ted Kord built for Booster, Azrael's Bat-suit I suppose (though there are certain artist who made that not look too bad to me).

But like I said, it's least favorite, and so I'm picking this, plainclothes, basic, whatever you want to call it look for Hawkeye. There's nothing distinctly awful about it. It's too simple for that. It's a t-shirt with a purple chevron on it and some sunglasses.

Which is the problem: It's dull. It would be a good outfit for someone trying to maintain a lower profile, but this is Clint Barton we're talking about. Low profile is not in his vocabulary. He's loud, he's boisterous, he's bragging and butting heads with people, demanding you notice him*. He was trained and spent a fair amount of his developmental years in a carnival, where the whole point is to draw attention, get eyeballs on you, butts in the seats.

Also, the old costumes are more practical, and sure, practicality is rarely my major concern with costumes, but I figure it's worth addressing. Clint is essentially a normal human. He doesn't have any enhanced resilience to injury, no healing factor or bulletproof skin. The older outfits offer protection from head injuries, though I suppose the sunglasses could be equipped to project a small repulsor field around his cranium. Clint's brash, but he isn't an idiot. A costume that has some sort of protection makes sense.

I will say I prefer the current outfit to the one from roughly Avengers #100, with the headband and the mini-skirt. That one's both ugly and impractical.

Clint demonstrates what I assume is proper bowman technique on a variant cover for Hawkeye #2 of the 2012 series, drawn and colored David Aja. The other two covers are from Clint's 2003 series. The first was penciled by Carlos Pacheco, inked by Jesus Merino, and colored by Frank D'Armata. The other was, well I'd swear that's Scott Kolins work, but the Grand Comics Database says Joe Bennett (who did do the interiors). If the GCD is right, Sandu Florea inked it, and Kickstart colored it. If it was Kolins, he inked it himself most likely.

* It might almost have made sense for that stint leading the Secret Avengers, except for the part where Venom and the Beast were both on the team, not to mention Captain Britain. Guy in a bright black-and-white living costume, big, blue furry guy, and a flying guy wearing a modified Union Jack does not exactly scream subtle. Oh yeah, and Valkyrie and her big, white flying horse.

31 Days of Scans - Day 23

Favorite Costume. There are a lot of different costumes I like. Spoiler's outfit, Storm's sort of punk leather jacket with the Mohawk look, at least a few of the Iron Man armors (although those depend on who is drawing it), the Scarlet Spider outfit, the Batman Beyond costume.

But for the purposes of this post, I'm going to pick the black-and-white Spider-Man outfit. I probably still like his classic red-and-blue duds more, but I talked about them when I did the Favorite Character post on Spidey. Besides, the symbiont costume was a heck of a lot easier for a little kid enamored with Spider-Man to draw.

The look's a little more limited than his original costume. It lends itself to stories where Spider-Man can lurk in shadows, the eyes and spider emblem shining out of them. You can do similar things with his original costume - Spidey's no stranger to surprising people from the rafters in that get-up - but the black-and white costume rarely seems to get used in more light-hearted or silly stories. It can be - like the one where Peter's landlord's husband spikes the punch at Pete and MJ's moving out party, and Spidey ends up fighting Hobgoblin while drunk - but it's not the norm. It feels like the black costume gets a lot of stories where Peter has to deal with a serious loss or psychological trauma (though he has his fair share in the classic costume, too), but the red-and-blue duds get the stories where it's mostly just Spidey having a less-than-stellar day. The ones where he's more the butt of the universe's joke than anything else.

So the black-and-white outfit is mostly associated with dark, frequently angry Spider-Man stories, and I'm hardly a huge fan of those. But in small doses - and most critically, done well - they can be good. And frankly, I like to see Spider-Man get fed up and stop fooling around with bad guys every so often. I like the jokes, I like the humor, the focus on protecting innocents first, but every once in awhile I just want Spider-Man to wreck a super-villain's face. So when the costume is shorthand for "Spidey's about to remind everyone how he's survived this long", I'm on board with that.

Besides, it's a really cool look. It's very simple, but it works at grabbing attention. It plays up the "spider" in "Spider-Man" a bit more. Despite the lack of web design, it makes him look more spooky, more alien. Big white eyes, framed by darkness, staring from out of shadows, like they're just hovering. The spider emblem much bigger, front and center, you can't miss it. It's playing up that fear some people have of spiders, lurking in the shadows, making traps, watching with their multiple eyes. The original costume is certainly odd in its own way, and if someone dropped down on me in the middle of a mugging wearing it, I'd probably be a little freaked out. But I'd know that was a person in there, just from the all the colors and the look of it. The black-and-white one, I'm not so sure, especially talking about something moving as fast as Spider-Man can. What would that even look like to the naked eye? A dark blur, leaping around, tossing full-grown humans like they're rag dolls, shooting webbing. Spidey's constant chatter would break the illusion a bit, but like I said, in a lot of stories where he wears that suit, he's not very talkative.

And, as demonstrated in the above picture of Eddie Brock, and the one before that of Kraven, just about anybody can look good in it. There were a lot of things I didn't like about Venom, but the look of him wasn't it. Mayday had her own variant for awhile, which wasn't too shabby (although Ron Frenz had altered his art style and not for the better, which hurt it a bit).

Spider-Man enjoys the miracle of a suit that heals you without asking for you to provide proof of insurance first in Ultimate Spider-Man #35, by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), Art Thibert (inker), Transparency Digital (colorist), and Chris Eliopoulos (letterer). Spider-Man shows he's no drunken master in Web of Spider-Man #38, by Fabian Nicieza (writer), Alex Saviuk (penciler), Keith Williams and Mike Espositio (inkers), Janet Jackson (colorist), Rick Parker (letterer). The Kingpin really needs a better plan than, "fistfight pissed-off Spider-Man" in Amazing Spider-Man #542, by J. Michael Straczynski (writer), Ron Garney (penciler), Bill Reinhold (inker), Matt Milla (colorist), and Cory Petit (letterer). Kraven experiences that awkward moment when he meets the person he's cosplaying as in Web of Spider-Man #32, by J.M. DeMatteis (writer), Mike Zeck (penciler and colorist?), Bob McLeod (inker), Ian Tetrault (colorist), and Rick Parker (letterer). Eddie Brock rocks that symbiont jacket like a boss in Amazing Spider-Man #375, by David Micheline (writer), Bagley (penciler), Randy Emberlin (inker), Bob Sharen (colorist), Richard Starking and Rick Parker (letterers).

Favorite Marvel Character #9 - Ben Reilly

Character: Scarlet Spider (Ben Reilly)

Creators: Ross Andru and Gerry Conway (weird how the artists' last names keep coming before the writers alphabetically)

First appearance: Amazing Spider-Man #149, as the Scarlet Spider it would be Peter Parker, Spider-Man #52

First encounter: I was getting comics as gifts from the Sears Christmas catalog, along with grabbing whatever looked good off the spinner racks at a bookstore in the mall, so the chronology is fuzzy. It was either Amazing Spider-Man #400, Web of Spider-Man #121, or the aforementioned Peter Parker, Spider-Man #52 (though it didn't add the "Peter Parker" to the title until later). I know that cover isn't from any of those books, I just picked it to appeal to the ladies.


Definitive writer: Hard to say. the Spider-books were all so interwoven during that stretch, it's probably a group effort between guys like Tom DeFalco, David Micheline, Howard Mackie, J.M. DeMatteis. I might lean towards DeMatteis, because he wrote The Lost Years mini-series, and that established certain things about Ben I find interesting.

Definitive artist: Again, hard to say. The different images I see when I think of the Scarlet Spider are a mix of artists. Mark Bagley's in there - big surprise, since he was drawing Amazing at the time. Steven Butler was drawing Web of Spider-Man, so some of it is him. And some of it is Tom Lyle, who drew the future Peter Parker: Spider-Man title. If I had to pick, I'd guess Lyle for Ben as the Scarlet Spider, Bagley for when he became Spider-Man.

Favorite moment or story: Ben cobbling together a costume and rushing out to stop Venom, when he isn't even sure of the reasons in Peter Parker Spider-Man #52, 53 is a nice one. His trying to fight Sentinels during the whole Onslaught mess was another (PP: S-M #72, Amazing Spider-Man #415). I'm always down for Spider-Folk fighting against serious odds.

What I like about him: Now I know what you're thinking.

'Calvin, we know you're going to put Spider-Man on this list. You just wanted to put him on the list twice!' But you'd be wrong.

Obviously, I put the Scarlet Spider on here to indulge in my love for hoodies. Three guesses who'll be representing on the DC list.

Seriously though, I liked the hoodie as part of the costume as a kid, and I continue to enjoy it now. It was meant to be a hurried, rushed-together costume Reilly made out of what he had handy, and questions about why he had red spandex with no webs on it, but a blue hoodie with a spider on it aside, that's what it looks like.

It might work better if he occasionally had used the hood. You know, he's observing some criminal from a rooftop, it's raining, he pulls the hood up. It wouldn't work when he was web-swinging - either it'd be blowing off in the wind, or it would impair his hearing (and possibly peripheral vision). But there are times it would have been practical. You don't always want to waste web fluid making an umbrella, or rely on old newspapers.

Moving past the hood, I find the stories of people who were essentially created to be someone else's weapon, who try to move past it/deal with the consequences of it kind of fascinating. Cassandra Cain for one, Ryoko in the Tenchi Muyo universe for another. For Ben, it might be worse in some ways. Miles Warren (or Osborn working through Warren or whatever) didn't simply create (or try to create) a perfect killing machine. He made Ben a copy of Peter up to that point, with all the memories, thoughts, and feelings Peter has, then tried to use him as a disposable weapon.

When Ben survives the initial encounter, he's left with an ugly realization. He doesn't have a life of his own. The person who created him was a crazy, evil person who tried to make him do things the person he's a copy of wouldn't do, and so Ben believes those things are wrong. Ben resents this because that morality was imposed on him. In theory, a person would develop their own beliefs over the course of their life, based on their own experiences. Ben wasn't given that opportunity, knows it, and so fights against it. He actively tries not to be a hero because that's not him, it's Parker, and he's not Parker. He rejects the idea of great responsibility tagging along with great power. Ben Parker wasn't his uncle, the spider didn't really bite him, that was all someone else.

And that's always in the background for Ben, the question of how much of what he does is his decision, and how much of it is the Parker influences he tries to reject. Whatever he might say, he couldn't stay away when Aunt May was in the hospital. And one of the enduring images for me of Ben is from Amazing Spider-Man #400, as Peter, MJ, and Aunt Anna cry over May's body as she dies. Ben had told Peter earlier he was leaving. He came to New York to check on May, she appeared to be fine (it was only a brief improvement), he should leave. But as she passes, Ben's sitting alone on the roof, crying his eyes out. Like it or not, those feelings and memories are part of him.

Even so, I still think Ben, when he decides to truly start helping people, as opposed to merely defending himself and Peter from a myriad of threats - Kaine, the Jackal, all the rest - is done from his own desire to help. I'm sure he feels Peter's guilt over Uncle Ben's death, but I think he rejects it, since it isn't his memory. Which means it shouldn't be driving him to help people as it has Peter at times. Ben's helping because like it or not, it's the right thing to do. This is the attitude I think Peter has most of the time, the guilt thing just kicks in when he starts thinking of throwing the costume in a trash can again.

Plus, there's the aspect of Ben returning to a place he remembers, a place full of people he remembers, none of whom know him. He has all the memories, but it's a one-way street because someone else already occupies the spot in their lives he would. Which makes him feel that unreality of his existence more keenly. He stays, partly for selfish reasons, partly to help Peter, and he's able to build a life of his own. Get a job, make some friends of his own, build acquaintances with people he knows from Peter's memories, but all those people know him as Ben Reilly. Being around Peter actually gives him the chance to try and define himself more fully from Peter, to show he's a separate entity by leaving a legacy of his own. One of the things I like about Spider-Girl is he's her "Uncle Ben", and it's his costume she wears, rather than her father's. Ben is able to overcome the ugly particulars of his birth and with a lot of ups and downs, formed connections, formed a life and is carried forward in the memories of others and his deeds, which is maybe the best you can hope for in life.

I enjoy how Ben is kind of a study of what defines a person, and how sometimes it's hard to tell when our actions are influenced by others. The idea that everyone has worth, and no one is just a copy to be used at someone else's discretion and tossed aside. Not to give up on people just because they get a little lost or confused for awhile. Also, he had impact webbing and those little stinger things he could fire out of his web-shooters and I thought those were pretty cool.

As a final point, having Peter retire from web-slinging to focus on being a husband and expectant father, handing the title of Spider-Man off to Ben is a heck of a lot better way to get single Spider-Man than the One More Day nonsense Quesada and Co. foisted on us.

Turnabout Is. . . Harder Than It Looks

{In the upper floors of a high-rise building, sits the office of the head of Smile Time Alternative Solutions. They've had a rough go of it since the "animal stampede" scared off potential investors over six months ago. They've worked hard to rebuild consumer confidence, and this quarterly meeting is going to determine how they've done so far. The head of the company sits at the end of a large, solid, but otherwise unremarkable conference table. Her red hair is tied up in a conservative bun, her eyes looking out from behind a pair of small, rimless glasses worn strictly for effect. She wears a navy blue suit jacket and slacks, with seemingly bland, practical shoes. At the moment, she's trying to avoid strangling all her department heads, as they each feel they need more funding.}

Dr. Lakshmi: . . . and the progress is musically-induced crop growth has stalled with the major cutbacks to my department over the previous few months.

Dr. Povolosky: Da, and the Bio-Pyscho lab still has not been fully repaired after Pennington's abomination nearly destroyed it! I do not hef nearly enough wessels to go with my beakers!

UnCalvin: I've explained many times that with the loss of investor revenue stemming from the "incident", we had to focus on the projects that could provide. And Dr. Povolosky, you have never visited the lands of your grandparents, why are you speaking with that accent? Will you soon get moose and squirrel? {There's a distant, muffled noise: da, dada, dah, du du dun}

Dr. Povolosky: Er, sorry, Director. Just a little fun on April Fools' Day. Seriously though, the lab is still kind of a mess.

UnCalvin: I'm well aware of what day it is. I have a long trip to make either tomorrow or the next day, which is why I wanted to have the meeting now. {The same noise is heard, a little louder this time. Da dada dah, du du duun UnCalvin pauses, looking about in mild irritation.} I believe we have some good news on this front. Dr Schroeder?

Dr. Povolosky: {under his breath} What trip?

Dr. Lakshmi: {also whispered} I don't know. The boss makes it every year, and half the time comes back in a foul mood. It has something to do with that panda, and some 'blithering idiot'.

Dr. Schroeder: Yes, we were able to discover an artificial aphrodisiac we've branded "The Mood Is Right". we also discovered a compound to lower sex drive that also works as an appetite suppressant. It's going to be called "Not Tonight". And Dr. Smith just recently developed one that seems appropriate given the day.

Dr. Smith: Yes, it reacts to the presence of any of those body sprays to produce a smell like rotten eggs. We think it has a lot of promise among college kids trying to prank their, I believe "bros" is the vernacular. We're thinking of calling it "The Mood Is Flight", since that will make it easier to prank the intended target.

Mr. Jonas Masters, company accountant: Yes, all three products are proving quite popular. We've seen a 23% increase in revenue from those products alone. Not to mention our rapidly expanding polymers are drawing interest from law enforcement for crowd control. And the Holographic Laughing Dog Security Distraction is proving a hit as well.

UnCalvin: You see? With the increased revenue streams, especially those law enforcement contracts, we can raise funding for our more long term, experimental research. We can finish repairing the Bio-Psycho wing.

Captain Androzier: {watching from the corner} And improve the bathrooms? {That sound again, not louder but coming from higher up.}

UnCalvin: I still have to clear that sort of remodeling with Ms. Granglin, but I think she'll prove receptive if we can do it quietly enough none of the other tenants find out. {The sound is louder now, and getting closer. Da dada dah, du du duun} What is that?

Dr. Lakshmi: {kicking herself mentally for not leaving last fall} Uh, ma'am? {Points out the window.}

UnCalvin: {Turns to personal assistant} Call in an insurance claim. It's going to be filed as another disaster. Also, you should all seek cover.

{The jubilant attitude of only moments before is gone, replaced with a somber look of someone who has suffered a lot. As UnCalvin looks on, a black van with red trim comes smashing through the windows. The department heads, accountants, and assistants are hustled out the door by Androzier just ahead of the van slamming nosefirst into the doorway. UnCalvin catches just a glimpse of Clever Adolescent Panda, Deadpool, and Calvin hugging each other and screaming at the top of their lungs. The sound from earlier is emanating from inside the van. On the side of the van is a spraypainted picture of Deadpool, wielding a broadsword, riding a dragon, that has a panda's color scheme. The side door slides open, and the music is deafening. DA DADA DAH, DU DU DUUN! Look, it's supposed to be the A-Team theme, alright, I don't know how you spell it. The three heroes tumble out.}

Calvin: What the hell was that?

Clever Adolescent Panda (CAP): What?

Calvin: What do you mean what? Why did we just jump the van off the roof of a nearby building?! We were supposed to park and hang glide, or use zip lines or something! *Looks at Deadpool*

Deadpool: [Wow, this is nice carpet. Don't blame me. I'm not the one who put Makes-Brakes-Fail Lass behind the wheel. *looks at UnCalvin* Would you be offended if I stretched out on this nude?]

Everyone Else: YES!

Makes Brakes Fail Lass: I'm sorry! Usually I just make the ABS light come on, but the brakes are fine. This time they just stopped working!

Calvin: That is the worst secondary mutation for the lamest superpower ever.

Deadpool: [It's not so bad. You could have a spectacular career as a hitman. It would always look like an accident!]

Makes Brakes Fail Lass: I think I have to be in the car for it to work, though.

Deadpool: [Well then you could have a brief, but spectacular career as a hitman, and leave your loved ones set for life.]

UnCalvin: Before my security comes and futilely tries to subdue all of you, what are you doing here?

Calvin: *rises to his feet* I'm sick of waiting for you to come strolling in however many days after April Fools you like, to pull off your latest attempt at whatever, you're doing. I'm not explaining to my bosses why someone showed up and trashed half the cars in the parking lot with their jet! This time, the joke will be on you, and so will the repair bills! Deadpool, unleash. . . THE PIE CANNON! *gestures dramatically with much fist clenching and arm waves*

CAP: It's hard to take that seriously when you're in a cowboy print shirt with shiny buttons, a leather sleeveless vest, and the little cossack hat.

Calvin: I thought it would make a statement.

Deadpool: *wiping dirt smudge off his van mural* [If the statement was, "You're a blind idiot," mission accomplished.]

UnCalvin: Indeed, you need suitable attire such as THIS! {UnCalvin pulls a thread hanging from the jacket, which causes the tail to unfurl and the sleeves to fall off entirely, turning it into a bitchin' cape.}

CAP: Wow, that is nice.

Calvin: Damn, I need to get an awesome cape.

UnCalvin: And observe, these seemingly bland and sensible work pumps when in fact *rolls up pants legs*

Calvin: Pirate boots?! Aw damn, where'd you get those?!

Deadpool: *gawking over Calvin's shoulder* [I'm even more turned on by you than usual! Can I be your first mate? And by mate. . .]

Calvin: Would you just fire the damn cannon?! And don't stand so close to me when you start talking like that.

Deadpool: *hefting bazooka* [OK, but this seems a little extreme for a prank. . .] *points it right past Calvin's head*

CAP: Wade, wait, that's not the right. . .

Deadpool: [Can't hear you over the sounds of beautiful violence yet to happen!]

{The rocket is fired. Calvin squawks in surprise as the missile hurtles towards UnCalvin, who calmly leaps and deflects with a kick. There goes another wall.}

Calvin: Aaah, my one good ear!

CAP: Wade, that wasn't the pie cannon!

Deadpool: [Sure it was! It fires a 3.14 inch projectile!]

CAP: Wrong pie!

Calvin: What are you saying? Why did Wade fire an actual bazooka next to my ear?!

Deadpool: [Oh, right, the gag weapon. Sorry, I kind of go to kill right off the bat these days. Got it.]

{Wade turns and draws the larger novelty cannon from the depths of the van. As he turns to face UnCalvin again, his target tosses a small stress relief toy under his feet. As Wade steps on it, it makes a squeaky sound, right before its surface erupts in spines which stab into Deadpool's foot. Wade falls backwards, triggering the cannon, which fires its pie at the ceiling, only to have it ricochet and smash into UnCalvin's chair, driving it back into the far wall.}

UnCalvin: *inspecting the pie remains* A lemon pie? Without meringue? I'm insulted.

CAP: You know there's no way to maintain any sort of semi-solid topping on a rocket fired pastry projectile.

UnCalvin: Incorrect. You merely have to spackle it on like mortar or cement, then fire it at the sufficient velocity the heat causes it to resume a more liquid state.

CAP: Really?

UnCalvin: Well, you have to stand at least 73 meters away from the target, or else there isn't sufficient travel time for the altering of its state.

Calvin: How the heck do you figure things like that out?

UnCalvin: We have great office parties.

Deadpool: *a little forlorn* [Can I come to the next one?]

{As UnCalvin considers the request, CAP and Calvin share a look. Calvin slowly slides over next to UnCalvin.}

Calvin: *whispering* He's having kind of a rough go of it lately. Family troubles, lost a voice in his head. We brought him along to have some fun, lift his spirits. *UnCalvin's face turns sympathetic. Also mildly confused*

UnCalvin: Certainly Wade, though you have to leave your weapons at the door. But I imagine you have all sorts of unusual ideas we could help make a reality.

Deadpool: *visibly cheered* [Really? Do you think you could make musical food?]

UnCalvin: We're doing quite a lot of research into music and food. Not in that direction historically, but I'm certain people would like meals that came with their own music.

CAP: *ambles over next to Calvin* So, good enough?

Calvin: *surveys the destruction of the office* Yeah, good enough. OK, Makes Brakes Fail Lass, pull that thing into the hallway, and we'll try to drive it back out of here. Somehow.

Makes Brakes Fail Lass: I think it's stuck!

Deadpool: [I'll push, and you gun it! My heart is soaring with the power of friendship, which I'm pretty sure makes me stronger than the Hulk.]

CAP: Uh, Wade. . .

{Deadpool may or may not have been stronger than the Hulk, but once the van broke the rest of the way through the doors, there was no stopping it. Because, you know, the brakes mysteriously failed. Which was to bad for the string quartet in the break room across the hall. UnCalvin had to cut back on most of the opulence after the setbacks last year, but had held on to one nice break room, as a refuge and reminder of the way things would be later. Now there's just the sound of panicked musicians and broken instruments.}

UnCalvin: Oh nooooo.

Deadpool: [Hey, fancy cheeses!]

CAP: Time to flee?

Calvin: Absolutely.

UnCalvin: PANDAAAAA! CAAALVINNNN!

A Silly Sartorial Question

When it comes to superhero teams, do you like it when they have matching costumes? Think the Fantastic Four, the original five X-Men, maybe the Avengers when they were all rocking the bomber jackets in the '90s. Or do you prefer each character follow their own sense of style? Think, well most all the other teams.

I prefer letting each character go their own way. There's something to be said for presenting a united front, but the variety's nice. Capes work for some characters, but not others. You can even draw some conclusions about the character's personality based on their costume choice. Even if a lot of times, the conclusion is the character doesn't know anything about clothes.

What I Bought 10/31/2013 - Part 6

Last review from this round of books. Saved the best for last, as usual.

Daredevil #32, by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee (storytellers), Javier Rodriguez (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I like how Satana is completely unconcerned. I expect that from Simon Garth - he's a zombie, reactions are not really in his repertoire - but she looks mildly put out, at best. I guess fire wouldn't be much of a threat to an alleged daughter of the Devil. I also love Simon's banging '70s medallion. Doesn't look quite as nice on him as the Phantom Stranger's did, but P.S. also had the fedora and that swag opera cape. Does he still have that medallion? I haven't even glanced in the direction of his current title.

The Jester's attempt to spook and kill Matt with a fake dead Foggy fails utterly, because the Jester's banking on sight alone to guide Matt's reactions. It is funny that all of Matt's enemies believe he is Daredevil, so none of them buy that he's blind. Except Bullseye, I guess. Revenge having failed, the Jester's back on the clock for Sons of the Serpent, impersonating Mayor Jameson (I wonder how long Jonah as mayor is going to last?) urging all New Yorkers to arm themselves for their own protection. That's not going to end well, but Matt is too absorbed in RESEARCH! to deal with it. It's a little beyond Daredevil's capabilities anyway, and Foggy found something interesting. The Serpents had (or have) a certain mystical bent to their order, and it involved the Darkhold. So it's off to visit Dr. Strange, who tells what he knows, but directs Matt to Jack Russell (Werewolf by Night) as the real expert. You know, considering he used it to once kill all vampires, I'd think Strange would be the expert, not to mention the whole "Master of the Mystic Arts" thing, but whatever, I'll roll with it. So it's off to the wilds of Kentucky, where Matt immediately stumbles across an angry, intolerant mob out to kill some people. Who turn out to be Satana and that Mummy. When the other monsters show up, it turns into a huge mess, with Matt having no idea who to help or what's going on, and eventually, he gets shot. Well then.

A lot of this issue seems to be about the limitations of Matt's other senses, or maybe it's about how limited sighted folk are because we rely on it so much. The Jester's trap falling apart because Matt can't see the dummy is meant to be Foggy, but instead focuses entirely on the scent, which gives it all away. That Matt can't see what Satana's allies look like, and so doesn't have any idea what he's up against. Even if Matt could see the locals were pursuing a veritable horror ensemble, he'd still likely defend them, if only because the locals are so danged eager to kill them, but he'd also likely question what he was getting mixed up in first. I assume Matt saw at least a few monster movies when he was a kid, so he'd have some frame of reference. There's also the part where Strange and his Sanctum wig Matt out, which makes a lot of sense. Even though they're enhanced, Matt's senses still operate on much the same principles they did before, just to a greater extent. Magic has its own set of rules, but they aren't necessarily the same as science's, so things would be a little tricky.

That page of Matt being shot was effective. Played against the previous page, of Matt seemingly getting out of the line of fire, up in the shadows planning, then I turn the page and BLAM. I think Matt's stunned face was the first thing I saw, but then I'm drawn the the blood, which Rodriguez made brighter, more vital than the red of Matt's costume. That's one of those times I think a panel deserved the full-page treatment. It's a big deal, and it needs to grab my attention. Mission accomplished.

Beyond that Samnee and Rodriguez did their usual excellent job. Love the Jesters outfit, though I have never seen a person eat popcorn by just tossing a handful in the general direction of their face like that. Villains have lousy table manners, I guess. I like how absolutely pissed Matt looked that the dirty cops couldn't tell him anything. Disgusted and aggravated. Matt's continuing aggravation with Foggy's dietary habits, and the way Matt perceives the smell of Cheese Cheez Puffs as a toxic cloud. That was my first thought, actually, that the Jester had either gassed the office as another trap, or just mailed a bunch of garbage to Matt as a prank. Also, as Matt heads off to talk to Strange, the panel were he's still Matt (but changing into his costume), but his reflection is Daredevil already. I always like things like that, or the old bit with Spidey where his spider-sense goes off, and half his face is Peter, and the other half is Spider-Man.

And of course, the bit where Strange warns Matt he will have to travel to a strange land to see Russell, and we see the outline of a wooden sign and a spooky tower, then in the next panel lightning flashes and we see it's in Kentucky. Good one, fellows. I'm going to assume the rural folk are so violently intolerant because they're members of the Sons of the Serpent, and not simply because they're rural folk. The snake iconography Samnee worked in there a couple of times makes that a safe bet, so hopefully that's how it works out.

What I Bought 10/31/2013 - Part 2

I had planned to review the comics alphabetically, but for some reason, I've really wanted to discuss X-Men, so it's cutting in line. Really, you'd think a book taking place at a school would know better. Also, I've decided to review each book individually, since there are so few, and this way I can talk about each one as much as I want, without worrying the post is getting too long.

X-Men #6, by Brian Wood (writer), David Lopez (penciler), Came Smith w/Terry Pallot (inkers), Laura Martin w/Matt Milla (colorists), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I get the idea behind the cover, Wolverine's blood reflecting the vague shadows of those who attacked him, but it's undercut by two things. One, the shadows kind of get mixed up with the black spaces at the edge of the bloodstain, and two, they used so much red on the whole color, I think it really blunts the effect. The shadows on the blood don't grab they eye as they ought to.

In comics I didn't read, Illyana took the Beast and Iceman of the past to the future to investigate the claims of the other team of Future X-Men. This as the one with Future Xavier plans to send Original Recipe Cyclops, Jean, and Warren back to the past against their will. Just as Logan's getting suspicious, too late to do any good, because yes, these Future X-Men are evil. Surprise!

Oh right, we all saw that coming. But man, that means Molly Hayes became a bad guy? Thanks, Bendis.

Anyway, Future Brotherhood of Evil Mutants mop the floor with pretty much the entire team, except Psylocke, and Jubilee escapes with Shogo in his new "hamster ball". For all the good that does them. Future Beast locked the whole school down and then. . . I'm not sure. Cyclops' team shows up with the other Future X-Group, who I guess are the good guys, and the Mansion is partially destroyed, possibly deserted except for Jubilee, Psylocke, and Bling. I have no idea what happened. Did the Future Bad Guys have some mass murder/suicide thing planned? Future Beast did tell Xorn Jean 'It's been a pleasure.', but that may have just been him expressing enjoyment at doing tech work. So, attempt to tell a coherent single chapter within a Stupid Crossover: FAIL.

That look on Future Xavier's face as he tells Past Scott sarcasm doesn't suit him, man, that was the most punchable grin I have ever seen. Forget whether he evil or not, that was such an expression of smug satisfaction, I would have cheered if the freaking Sentry - the Sentry! - had chosen that moment to return, as long as he punched Future Chuck's head clean off. So, kudos to David Lopez on that face. Shogo's happy face in the hamster ball as the fighting goes on around him was pretty outstanding.

I like Martin and Milla's colors on the book. Everything is bright and vibrant, in a different way from what Javier Rodriguez does on Daredevil, but still bright. The colors are smoother here, for one thing, which makes sense. Samnee inks his own work and tends to go heavier on the blacks and shadows, so it needs a different approach, and Rodriguez' gives the colors a sort of gritty texture, almost closer to pastels (from what I remember of those from art class eons ago), than what we see here on X-Men. Anyway, it's a very pretty book all around.

The writing's less certain. I wonder if we're ever going to learn what the problem was between Bling and Mercury back in the first issue, or if that's going to be a running joke of Wood's. Every time they try to address it, some crisis comes up, so no time for teen drama. Wood's dialogue for Wolverine feels more off here than it did two issues ago. Too refined, lacking in words shortened, like "thinkin'", or the like. I guess Wolverine could be trying to sound more educated for all his students, though perhaps her out to focus less on eloquence and more on not stabbing people. Also, and this probably isn't Wood's fault, I can't get a bead on this Future Deadpool. He's more chatty this episode, but while he's still stream of consciousness, there aren't really any jokes. I guess Future Chuck and Jean excised his sense of humor. Also, did he pain the black eye holes that used to be on his mask onto his face, then put shades on over them? That's terrible, it completely kills any goodwill I had from wearing a hoodie in the future.

At least Rachel finally got to do something, I was starting to wonder if Wood really wanted her around or not. He certainly seems to enjoy Psylocke, as she gets to be team badass, near as I can tell. I still don't understand why she only seems to use her telekinesis to form weapons. She's fighting Deadpool and what appears to be a kid Logan had with Mystique (well, they've knocked boots enough over the decades), and she's using a TK sword. Why not just push outwards with the tk in a solid wall and smash them against a wall, or the Blackbird or something?

At least this will be over by the next issue. I can't decide whether I regret not skipping these two issues or not. The art team did a good job, but the story is as much of a mess as you'd expect from one spanning 4 books, written by 3 different guys. Or is it 5 books, with 4 different writers? I don't know.

What I Bought 6/29/2013 - Part 5

Saw a bunch more clips and/or trailers for Wolverine yesterday after I did that post. Saw a certain cockiness (or maybe just confidence) in Yukio that was encouraging, but they've also decided Logan was in a POW camp near either Nagasaki or Hiroshima during WWII. Not sure that's a good call. It depends on whether the Japanese officer he saved is relevant in a larger sense, or if this is just some cool moment they're shooting for. Like how major monuments always get destroyed in disaster films.

Moving on, comics.

Captain Marvel #13, by Kelly Sue DeConnick (writer), Scott Hepburn (artist), Gerardo Sandoval (artist, pgs. 12 & 14), Jordie Bellaire & Andy Troy (colorists), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - The way the Avengers in the background are colored in faded tones, part of Clint's (stupid) costume looks skin-toned, so for a second I thought he was wearing this low-cut outfit to show off his upper chest. Well, Natasha's actually zipped up for once, and the Hulk's wearing armor, so I guess someone had to do it.

All right, 40% of this thing is already done, so let's see if we can figure it out. Fortunately, Carol and her associates are doing the same, which neatly catches me up to speed with Rose's brief abduction, and the theft of a piece of the Psyche-Magnitron from Carol's place. Before they can do much more than hear from Banner that someone sent a message to Kreespace (I'm so out of the loop these days, how are the Kree doing?), Yon-Rogg starts waking up Kree Sentry robots for some mysterious purpose. The Avengers are trying to destroy them, but there are a lot more of the robots than there are Avengers, and Yon only needs a couple.

Given the power of Kree Sentrys, it feels like the Avengers would have made finding and destroying them a higher priority. Surely after all their conflicts with the Kree they would have developed some way of doing that? Ah well. Also, Cap still hasn't gotten around to watching Star Wars? I know there's a lot of film to catch up on, but I'd think he'd find time to squeeze in something that prominent. This is very much a middle chapter, DeConnick's starting to tie things together, she advanced the plot a little bit, but that's about it. I was pleased with Scott Hepburn's artwork. It reminds me a little of Andrade's but Hepburn's a lot less exaggerated and much more consistent with character's face and body shapes. Hepburn also has a cleaner style, which works better for facial expressions than Andrade's did.

It's gonna be interesting trying to read July's issue, since that'll be the conclusion and I'll have missed Part 4. I expect a lot more plot movement will have taken place by then. You know, Yog's master plan will actually be happening, the Avengers will be on the ropes, things will look grim. That sort of thing.

Fearless Defenders #4, by Cullen Bunn (writer), Will Sliney (artist), Veronica Gandini (colorist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - That's a nice cover. The Thor plushie's a good touch. Are those fingerless gloves, though? I have never understood those. I get the frustration of not having fine motor control when using gloves. I've tried to finger tighten a bolt or pick up some small thing with gloves on enough to understand the problems. But I feel like if the gloves aren't going to protect your fingers, what's the point? Just wear something with long sleeves.

Our heroines rescue Dani Moonstar and escape the Doom Maidens, who are rapidly growing stronger. Valkyrie has to deal with some revived memories which reveal she was one of the Doom Maidens once, until Odin did. . . something. Meanwhile, Hippolyta's trying to drag Dani off the Hela, but Dani tells her to piss off. Good for her, and it seems to impress Hipployta sufficiently for her to drop it. The three of them take off to face the Doom Maidens somewhere else, while Misty calls for reinforcements.

OK, I had some doubts about Hippolyta earlier, but this is more what I was envisioning. She's loud, arrogant, cheerfully violent, but there's just enough of something tempering that to keep her from being completely insufferable. I think it's the fact she respects people who stand up to her. Misty's complete disinterest in her threat after Misty slapped her, Dani telling her off. Polly doesn't strike them down, regardless of her big talk.

I'm still not impressed with Le Fay. I'm sure at some point she'll do something, but for now, she's just an old woman who talks shit while everyone else does all the work. I suppose the fact they all take her abuse should be a sign, but Mr. Raven's hired help, so I'd expect he's used to unlikeable employers, as long as the money's good. Essentially, she's a crotchety old person, and I find them annoying (or hilarious, depending on their brand of crotchety), but not intimidating. All the panels with her face partially obscured by shadows in the world can't change that.

Not that it matters. I'm still moving on from the book. Just in time too, since there appears to have been a recent death that has people riled up. I'm not too worried. There's already one character that was returned from the dead, and two others that either serve Death or are responsible for working with the deceased. I'm sure there's a way to get her back in play if they want.

Cloak Needs To Fine Tune The Darkness Sensor In His Cloak

I picked up all the trades for the Brian K. Vaughn/Adrian Alphona/Takeshi Miyazawa/Christian Strain run on Runaways. You likely do not need me to tell you this, but it's very good. There's a lot of great dialogue, the characters look like teenagers, and wear real clothes (I suppose*), there are a lot of touching emotional moments, plenty of comedy (I find the barrage of insults between Gert and Nico hilarious), and it's just an enjoyable read.

I haven't decided whether I should pick up the later creative teams' work. Leaning towards no, as there's a ton - or at least several dozen pounds worth of other things out there I know I want to read at some point**. I am curious if there's ever been any resolution to Cloak's sense that one of the teens has a great darkness within them. There will be spoilers, if you're as unfamiliar with the series' plotlines as I was before I bought the trades.

In Volume 2, he and Dagger are duped into believing the Runaways (and not their parents) murdered a young girl and kidnapped Molly. Misunderstanding battle ensues, and Cloak sucks Alex, Karolina, Chase, and Nico into his cloak, as he does. While they're inside, he says he can't sense any sign they've killed anyone (I guess the vampire doesn't count since he essentially killed himself), but there is a great darkness within them. Pursuit of this is disrupted by Gertrude, Old Lace, and Molly renewing the battle until people calm down enough to talk out their differences. Everyone gets out of the cloak, they part as friends, stuff goes downhill shortly. Three volumes later, Cloak shows up at their new hideout needing help to clear himself of a crime. He says he found them by homing in on that same darkness, but he still can't (or won't) pinpoint who it's from.

Figure we can eliminate Xavin (who wasn't on the team, or even on the planet) at that point, and Victor, who hadn't been there when they first met Cloak. Cloak never swallowed up Gert or Molly, so he couldn't have sensed anything from them. Which leaves Chase, Alex, Nico, Karolina. Alex is dead. This doesn't stop most of the team from figuring it must have been Alex, for good reason. And Cloak does allow that he may 'be recognizing the dark shadow left behind by your former teammate'. That'd be an interesting idea, if we take the tack that Alex formed them into a team, but did so for different reasons than he told them, and that's still proving divisive within them. Or that because their team was formed under false pretenses, it taints everything they've tried to do since. I don't think that second one holds, since they've moved beyond simply trying to stop their parents/clean up their messes, but it seemed worth mentioning as a possibility. Still, it seems odd that a deceased person would have that much malevolence that it would hang around a group of people like a toxic cloud for months, to the extent he can follow it right to them.

Karolina is in space with Xavin, probably in another galaxy entirely by this point. So it seems equally unlikely she's the source, at least directly. Her departure did seem to make the team a bit more divided, so it could be helping to stir things up within someone else. That would leave Chase or Nico. Before I remembered that Karolina wasn't with them when Cloak returned, I was confused because the Gribborim describe both Nico and Chase as innocent souls, which on first glance, didn't jibe with the idea one of them had a great darkness within. Which left Karolina, which seemed unlikely, though it would have been a twist, the girl who draws power from the sun to make beautiful light is the darkest. Then I remembered she wasn't there, then I remembered that he felt the darkness even though he knew none of them had killed anybody. So it's a sleeping darkness, malevolence in potentia.

If we're being honest, I lean towards Nico. Chase has some anger, true, but it mostly seems his form of grieving, or bluster. When he makes his play to resurrect someone, he opts to use himself, not someone else. He is a little sanctimonious about how he opts for that route because he's a good person, but if it were him, I feel like he wouldn't see any issue with sacrificing someone else if he really believed this was important enough.

As for Nico, well, I'm probably picking on her because she attacked Spider-Man unprovoked, and this is not a good way to earn benefit of the doubt with me. But she does seem so quick to hostility sometimes, and the way she often makes decisions that seem almost designed to create trouble (even as she recognizes this is a bad thing to be doing), that could be more than she suspects. She can be pretty scary sometimes, wither her 'I don't make threats, I give orders' line to Chase, casually discorporating the Wrecker***, promising Vic they'll rip Chase's heart out if he tries something again. She spooks me. Maybe it's just the pressure of having to herd this group of cats when she never asked for the responsibility, but darkness released under pressure is still darkness.

But hell, I'm discussing an ambiguous sense of "darkness" one character sensed within another character, so I probably shouldn't dismiss the dead character so quickly. It's only that the way it was thrown out there by Cloak, it was as if he wanted to reassure them, because he needs their help. "Sure, sure, it's probably just your dead friend. You're all good people, the kind who will totally help me out of the jam I'm in."

* I know people complain when artists put all their characters in the jeans/t-shirt look, and sure, I like it when artists get creative, especially if they give the characters a style I find appealing. But the t-shirt/jeans thing has really never bothered me much, since I tend to wear that as much as possible. And yes, some of my shirts are completely devoid of any pictures, designs, or words, so it doesn't strike me as that unusual, if even if I know I'm hardly the height of fashion.


** I swear, it seems like every time I make a decent dent in either my trade or back issue hunting list, I almost immediately think of or read about an nearly equal number of books I should also track down. It's maddening. To the extent "There's too much good stuff out there I want to read!" can be, anyway.


*** It reminds me of Sylvester chasing Tweety through some factory, with all the hatchets and the conveyor belt, and when Sylvester comes out the other side, his body falls into all these neatly sliced bits. That's basically what she did, with the handwave of "It'll wear off in a couple of hours." Are you sure he'll still be alive then? Or sane?

It's Not A Polar Bear In A Blizzard, But. . .

I've been meaning to say it for awhile, but Iron Fist's current color scheme is kind of stupid.

The dragon symbol on his shirt doesn't pop at all. It's the reverse of what Chris Sims was talking about as a problem for the current Batman costume. One of the things he thought was a problem with Bats is everything's too dark. All variations on black or grey, except for the utility belt.

With Iron Fist, it's a light yellow, but set against an even lighter color as backdrop. The colorist can mitigate this some, depending on what shade of yellow they use. Maybe there can be some convenient shadows (like on that cover there) to make his chest darker and let the emblem stand out more. But with the general colors, there's only so much one can do to make it pop off the page.

Certainly not like the yellow dragon did on the update David Aja gave his green costume. It doesn't stand out as much as the black tattoo did in his original "open shirt with high collar" look, for that matter. If the dragon were a deep blue, or maybe a green, a sort of reverse on the old pattern, where now the darker color is set against a light background, it could work fine. Using yellow against white just seems like making it harder than it needs to be to make him stand out.

I'd Like To Blame This On Post-Turkey Gorging Brain Haze, But I Can't

One series I've been trying to piece together a complete run of is the first volume of Resurrection Man. I'm a little over halfway there. It's slow going, because I like to collect them in order, so I'm not trying to read issues with big gaps between them. Sometimes I break that rule, which is how I wind up with issue 25, when I haven't made it past #18 otherwise.

By the 25th issue, Mitch had crossed paths with the Forgotten Heroes, because they think he's their old friend Immortal Man, and they need help to stop Vandal Savage. The thing that caught my eye* was Cave Carson sporting a cyborg eye. Because it was the Nineties, I assume. I couldn't find any explanation online for that. I'm pretty sure he last appearance before these was in Wonder Woman, and judging by the covers, he wasn't rocking any techno-parts then. At least he hadn't started wearing massive shoulder pads.

Everyone on the team was wearing these matching collars. Basically three rings stacked on top of each other going around the neck, which seemed like an odd choice. The belts with "FH" on them made a little sense, but the neck bands, I don't know. When I saw Shelly and Carson wearing those and talking, I figured they were prisoners, and those were power inhibitors, or something designed to shock them if they tried to escape. Nope, just part of the team uniform. Like those bomber jackets the Avengers were fond of a few years earlier.

* Besides the fact The Ray was on the team, whoo! Ray Terrill appearance, and it even makes sense, considering Ray spent the second half of his series trying not to be manipulated by Savage. When he wasn't fighting a sentient computer program he'd created that was obsessed with pushing him to his limits, that is.

Whatever Era He's In, He Makes A Statement

There's a storm rolling in, so let's do this quickly. In honor of the Annihilators facing Immortus' Army of the Ages, who has the worst fashion sense: Kang, Immortus, or Rama-Tut? I thought of this after reading Quasar's proclamation that even as powerful as they were, they were completely outclassed. I had to think, "Are you serious? That guy outclasses you? He looks like a dork! Man, it doesn't matter what version of himself it is, Kang can't dress to save his life." And here were are.

Kang has those hugely oversized sleeves, but I have to credit a guy who mixes green, purple, and blue in such large quantities. He's not trying to blend in. I like the mask actually. Especially when it's drawn with the vertical lines on the front. It's kind of an unusual touch, but it helps lend a distinctive air to it. Not that the outfit needs more distinction, but you don't get to call yourself "the Conqueror" by doing things halfway. The shirt not being tucked into his pants, but still going under the belt, is a minus (and one we'll see again). Perhaps I'm just anti-fake skirts, which is what it looks like to me. Fortunately, he's sporting thigh-high purple boots, which draw the eye away. They minimize the skirt effect on Kang more than Immortus can manage, as well shall see, so that's a plus.

I imagine there are plenty of ladies and fellas who approve of Rama-Tut's disinclination to wear a shirt, and it makes a certain amount of sense in Egypt, assuming he has some protective energy field so he doesn't have to worry about sunburns or skin cancer. Of course, if he has something like that, he should have shirt that will keep him cool no matter what. That might have cramped his style, though. I'm not a sandals fan, but they work. Kind of monochrome color scheme, but he's sparsely dressed enough his skin works as the offsetting color.

Then there's Immortus. Look, I wear my shirts untucked, too, but I don't put them under my belt where they form a little skirt or whatever*. Somehow, though, the thigh-high boots distract from it, so it doesn't bother me as much. Immortus also works the purple and green, but it's a softer purple, more of a lavender, which weakens his look. Kang's colors are bright, strong, they leap off that page and say, "Pay attention!" He throws in a gaudy/sickly yellow I don't care for, but I'm not a big fan of the color yellow in general. He does rock a cape, though, which is always a plus, but if he was going to go with such a high collar on it, he probably should have made it a different color from his hat. They blend together. The hat's a minus all around, though. He painted a roll of paper towels and jammed it on his head.

Also, I think the Phantom Stranger's the only one who can pull off the medallion look, and Immortus is no Phantom Stranger. if he was, I'd actually agree with Quasar's statement that the Annihilators were outmatched.

So I'm going with Immortus as the worst, but I know squat about fashion, so let's hear from you.

For the record, the Kang picture is by Jimmy Cheung, Rama-Tut's by Jack Kirby (and was originally posted on Grant bridge street), but I don't know who Immortus was drawn by. Sorry.

* So does Thanos, but I prefer the wandering monk look he had for awhile. It seemed practical, comfortable, and loose enough he could hide all sorts of stuff. He couldn't had a dime in that other outfit.

Struggling With My Bad Judgment

I'm posting from the library today. I needed to come to town anyway, so it works out nicely. The Internet did do a little better yesterday evening, but I think the unpleasant weather's been giving it trouble.

In the last round of solicits, Marvel listed the 'Complete Ben Reilly Epic, Volume 1', and I actually considered ordering it. I still am, though I could probably pick up all the issues pretty cheap in back issues bins (I'm not too picky about quality, as long as they're readable). In truth, the $40 price tag did more to dissuade me than the fact I bet a lot of the comics within aren't very good. Heck, I know some of them aren't good because I owned some of them back in the day.

But I've always had a soft spot for Ben Reilly, at least as the Scarlet Spider (I didn't read many of his adventures as Spider-Man, and I really didn't like his Spider-Man costume*). He kept meaning to leave New York, kept meaning to not get involved in crime-fighting, but he couldn't help himself. He had a connection to the people and places, but either they had no connection (the times when he was the clone), or he had a connection, but it had broken and someone else had taken it up (when they were telling us Ben was the original and Peter was the clone). His whole life had sort of an unrequited aspect to it. So he started to build another life, with new friends. Eventually, he and Peter even became friends, which admittedly isn't that strange for Spider-Man (we've discussed before his tendency to make friends out of former enemies, even if it doesn't always last), but considering their circumstances, it was fairly impressive. Especially with the tension about who is the real one, did Peter steal Ben's life, did Ben's presence bring Kaine into the mix, so and so on.

Plus, as far as ways to get a single Spider-Man go, having the married one retire to be a father and husband seems a little more in tune with the character than asking Mephisto to go back and slightly alter events so Pete misses his wedding and then he and MJ decide not to get hitched**.

And I liked the Scarlet Spider costume. I know people make fun of the sweatshirt over the spandex look, but I liked the makeshift feel of it. He did throw on whatever he had available when he first started being the Scarlet Spider, and he kept telling himself he wasn't going to keep it up (that Parker capacity for self-delusion), so he didn't need to bring Peter's fairly impressive ability to sew into the picture. Hey, at least it didn't have shoulder pads (though there was an unnecessary pouch around one ankle).

* Though it works for me as Spider-Girl's costume. Maybe because it's a nice tip of the cap to her Uncle Ben. I actually think of it as her costume now, not as Ben's. Or not as Spider-Man's, at least.

** I had to look that up on Wikipedia for this post, since I hadn't bothered to keep up on what One Moment in Time said when it came out. Very surprised they were able to convince Stark to help Petre reestablish the secret identity.

My Fair Lady (1964)

I still find musicals strange. Certainly there are people who will spontaneously sing in the course of their everyday lives, but I haven't seen anyone who does so at the volume people in musicals do. Fine, maybe I just live in places that where people are dead inside. Mostly, it's how other people join in, perfectly in harmony with the first singer. It's a hive mind, where one personality has become dominant and overwritten everyone else, so they must all sing and dance. Like Ultron and the Phalanx in Annihilation: Conquest, only resulting in less dead Kree. Except for that Skrull musical, The Importance of Being Deceptive, but most folks don't like to talk about that.

Anyway, Turner Classic was showing My Fair Lady last night, which I hadn't seen, and unlike Gone with the Wind, I actually watched most of this. I missed a little of the beginning, and there were two times during the film I had to change the channel because a particular musical number was dragging on to the point of madness. Eliza's bit about how she could have danced all night had me switching to the Military Channel for a few minutes of a piece on Japan in the run-up to WWII. Her father's song as he faces his looming wedding sent me scrambling to a Burn Notice rerun. I can only tolerate people singing 'Get me to the church on time' so often before I'm ready to leap into the movie and drag him there myself, just to shut him up.

Those issues aside, the movie was more engaging than I expected. I'm not quite sure how, though. It wasn't just that there wasn't much else on; I was actually interested in what was going to happen. Which is strange, because it wasn't an action movie, nor did I find it all that funny (the language expert at the Embassy Ball being an exception), and there was singing, but I wanted to keep watching. Strange. I'd guess I was curious as to what would happen with Eliza. I understood the basics of the story going in, passing her off as a highborn lady (which let's face it, if you're starting with Audrey Hepburn, your work is 75% done before you start), but I didn't know whether it worked, or what happened after.

I don't know what time period it's set in exactly, early 20th Century I suppose (1920s?), but the fashions, ye gods. Especially at the horse race. I'm pretty sure Britain conquered lands smaller than some of the hats those women were wearing.

Also, 'Draggle-tailed guttersnipe' is a pretty great insult.

This Won't Take Long

I'm supposed to go bowling with coworkers, so I'll be brief. At some point, I'd like to see another appearance in Batgirl of the Blimp-Master*. Blimpmaster. However it's spelled.

Yeah, he's a gimmick villain, but his gimmick is blimps! It probably includes, zeppelins, airships, hot air balloons, maybe he throws in a detachable glider on the underside of the blimp, like the Ninja Turtles used to have. Hopefully he does more than just try and use his airships to blow up buildings. He could have lackeys, who would repel out of them to rob places. I know that's part of my 710-point plan for world domination, using an airship to steal stuff**.

All I know is blimps are classy transportation, and they say that he's a villain who isn't in a rush, or worried about heroes catching up to him. So he's classy and confident. And apparently a little sweaty, but he has a scarf, so he can mop his brow with it, when not letting flutter impressively in the breeze behind him. Scarves aren't quite as nice as capes or hoods, but they are an excellent accessory in the right circumstances.

* As seen at the end of Batgirl #12!

** I thought I'd start with the Dallas Cowboys' current stadium, just to see if Jerry Jones bursts a blood vessel.

The Road To Credibility Is Harder For Some Villains Than Others

Due to my unfamiliarity with him, I've been having trouble taking Crossfire seriously as a threat in Hawkeye and Mockingbird. I don't think I've ever read a story he was in, so there's no history to convince me he's a dangerous guy. No, shooting Mockingbird's mother doesn't count. Despicable act, yes, act capable of marking him as a threat to super-heroes? No.

The costume doesn't help either. The red "X" on the eyepiece especially, seems like it would obscure his vision. It's far too wide to serve as good crosshairs. Plus, just a little turn and the "X"es on his costume would become crosses, meaning he's either part of a militant faction of the Red Cross, or some cadet from the Swiss Army that showed up in that one episode of The Tick.

Maybe it's his attitude. In issue #2, he was prattling on to the Phantom Rider about how he was done teaming up with other costumed types. Now he was going to be some major arms dealer, make his cash that way. As if he's the first villain to think of that. As if he's any closer to the A-list than the so-called 'fifth-rate hacks' he used to work with. He really strikes me as the sort of character who thinks he's much better than he really is. Somehow, that leads me to the thought that at some point, he ought to have run afoul of Bullseye, or Deadpool, or Taskmaster, someone who takes a little more pride in their craft, and they'd kill him*.

Hmm, maybe Crossfire is a self-loathing costumed villain? Hates being one, hates being around them, but can't step away from the life? Surely he'd be a less conspicuous arms dealer minus the costume?

* Outlaw shot him in Simone's run on Agent X, but either it wasn't fatal, or it was ignored. That Crossfire seemed to enjoy himself more. He actually had a quickdraw with Outlaw. Perhaps getting shot as a result took the joy out of his work.

Secret Identities, Easy Or Hard To Maintain?

When it comes to superheroic secret identities, what's your pleasure?

The old school, Silver Age I guess, style, where the hero is able, though not without difficulty, to keep people from learning who they are in their civilian lives? This doesn't mean no one would know, necessarily. The hero could decide to tell someone, or there could be a member of their cast that's just really on the ball. Captain Stacy in Amazing Spider-Man, Lois Lane for Superman, though she had the deck stacked against her considering all the powers, robots, and Batman assistance the writers pulled out of their butts to help Superman keep her guessing in the Silver Age*.

Or, I guess I'd call it the Ultimate-style, where it is really hard to keep a secret identity. Especially if you are, for example, some teenager from Queens who gained spider-powers then fairly quickly jumped into the deep end of fighting insane businessmen, and mad scientists, while being harassed by well-funded and well-equipped spy agencies.

Some blending of it, where some heroes keep it secret from everyone, while others don't hide it at all, plus some heroes who just aren't good at keeping it secret, or they trust someone who isn't (Karen Page might fall in that category for Daredevil), would probably be the best, if just because it offers the most avenues, but assuming we live in a horribly strict universe, where there are only two options, and you can't mix-and-match, what would you prefer?

I'm in favor of the old one myself. Yeah, it was funny to see how bad Peter was at keeping his mask on, especially when MJ handed him a list of everyone who knew who he was, and it hits home just how bad he's been about keeping the mask on, or not blurting out his name to the X-Men just because they've seen his face. I grew used to it there, because that was a generally consistent law of the universe. The X-Men were in the open, Kingpin knew Murdock was Daredevil, Dr. Strange was on late-night TV, and everybody knew who Spider-Man was. I could roll with it. But I feel it's an attempt to put too much realism into a situation that doesn't necessarily call for it.

It might be unrealistic for these heroes to manage to keep their secret identities hidden, but considering all the other things I suspend my disbelief for, it's not hard to swallow. I accept Peter Parker not only didn't die from a radioactive spider-bite, he gained awesome powers. I accept his Aunt can survive 700 heart attacks (may be an exaggeration), but needs magic help to survive a bullet. I accept the idea of stupid little blue men handing out rings that do anything if you will it hard enough. I'll buy that heroes (and villains if they're good enough at getting away) can keep people around them from figuring things out. Some of them will be better at it than others, or have more resources to help them out, be it powers or money.

Another part of it, is the problem-solving abilities most heroes tend to demonstrate. I've seen a lot of heroes apply their resources quite creatively to deal with a particular threat. Between that and their witty banter, they seem to possess excellent abilities to think on their feet, and devise solutions quickly. So while I believe I'd have some trouble explaining why I was always covered in bruises or missing whenever Hood Guy** appeared, the heroes seem more on the ball, so sure, they can come up with some quick excuse that saves their bacon. For a little while, at least.

So old-school for me, because I like the idea the heroes are smarter than I probably would be about it.

* I know Morrison and Quietly used it in All-Star Superman, though I don't think they started it, but I really like the idea that Clark Kent carries himself completely differently when he's Clark, compared to when he's Superman, so it isn't just the glasses. He really seems like a completely different person. Along those lines, how easy do you think it was to figure out Hal was Green Lantern? Setting aside how little of his face the mask covers, I can't see him behaving any differently from identity to the other.

** Though I like Spider-Man's costume, I think my love of hoods would cause me to design a costume with a hood. Or, more likely, get someone else to design it for me, because I know squat about fashion design.

I Liked This Page

First order of business: The link at the end of yesterday's post actually takes you where it is supposed to, now that I've spelled "genius" correctly. Hat tip to Matthew.

I'm very tired tonight for some reason, so simple post. Here's one page from Red Robin #10.
I saw a person online critiquing Batgirl's technique, saying a person wouldn't (or shouldn't) use those moves in the order she did. Certainly the kick seems a bit unwieldy for disarming an opponent, but whatever works. I'm impressed her cape vanished for a panel. The kick had such power the shockwave from it blew the cape clean of her shoulders. Which is good, because it means she has one of those easily detachable capes, which helps to avoid embarrassing moments where one gets hung up because of the cape. No getting sucked into turbines because of her cape for Stephanie Brown, nor sirree!

I love Tim's "Holy crap" there at the bottom. Note that, surprised as he is, he still caught the gun. He had an internal monologue on the previous page when Prudence pointed the gun at Stephanie about how there was nothing he could do, Steph was going to die, it was all his fault, he should have worked harder to make her give up crimefighting, but he was thinking with his heart and not his head, and now she's doomed, oh no. Then this page, and well, never mind, she's OK.

It turns out the gun is empty, suggesting Pru wasn't actually going to kill Batgirl, at least not with a gun (or perhaps not with a gun while Tim was around). Why did she bother to point an unloaded gun at Stephanie? Maybe she thought it would scare Steph, and found that funny. I'm guessing she wasn't expecting a beating. She should count herself lucky she wasn't dealing with Cassandra Cain, or she'd have been on the ground before the gun was halfway out of its holster.

That's all I have for tonight. Good night, everybody.