What I Bought 5/15/2026

I spent the weekend at my dad's, so expect a variety of older films in the reviews starting next week. On the way up, in between searching used bookstores for his birthday gifts, I hit the comic store. I was only expecting to find one of the two books from last week, and I did, but not the one I expected. That said, it's definitely the one I'd rather have.

Touched by a Demon #4, by Kristen Gudsnuk - Oh jeez, what did this lady think would improve her life? If she could divide her focus better?

Mammon whisks Frons and Pazuzu back to Hell, leaving Wendy to come up with some sort of plausible explanation to the detective about what she just saw, and not incriminate herself as having murdered her family. She is probably not entirely convincing, but no one gets arrested so let's call it a win.

Down in Hell, Mammon isn't pleased Frons abandoned his post. Even worse, Frons started this whole life help agency without going through bureaucratic channels. On the other hand, Lucifer thinks the idea has promise. Frons has already damned 63 souls, including Wendy. If he can damn 3 more, bringing him up to a nifty 66, he'll get a promotion! And the lute he brought with him when he was cast out of Heaven, and subsequently traded for Pazuzu to get her away from her horrible boss

I did enjoy Mammon's complaint that there are souls that are supposed to be getting tortured that aren't because Frons is absent. Just sitting around, untortured, like they're in 'a hotter Purgatory.'

So Frons has a dilemma. He truly wanted to help people, but keeps fucking it up. Should he keep trying, and risk damning more souls, which gets him a promotion and recognition he finds he no longer desires? Does he accept there's no redemption for him?

There's a bit where he's debating what to do and asks Pazuzu and she replies that she was just helping him and, 'I have no moral opinions.' I started go back-and-forth with myself Friday night about which way to interpret that. Which word is the emphasis on, no or moral? Then I told myself there was no difference, then I argued back that there was. Is Pazuzu saying she has no opinions that are moral, as in they're all immoral? Or is it that she has no moral opinions, as in she doesn't even debate or consider morality? The former seems more likely for a demon, but somehow I think it's the latter. Like, morality isn't even something she thinks about. Sure, she hasn't loved how most of their clients turned out, but that could just be because she likes her boss and wants him to be happy, and the failures eat at him.

Anyway, Frons has one final conversation with Father Angelo, although they exchange contact info (which Frons immediately blocks). If the story continues, I think there was going to be something there, because Frons seems smitten. He resumes taking clients, this time an elderly woman who lives alone and is going to die soon. She has regrets, about opportunities missed and whatnot.

Frons could cast a time travel hex, allowing her to relive her life, but chooses instead to help her maximize her enjoyment of the time she has remaining. This, in turn, offers a glimmer of hope that Frons might be able to pull of his own redemption, if he sticks to trying to truly help people, instead of using demonic magic to offer quick-fix solutions. And that's where it ends, Frons, Pazuzu and Wendy as a little group. So Gudsnuk could come back to the story again some day, if she wants. The detective is still lurking, investigating the disappearance of Wendy's family, there's unresolved stuff with Father Angelo, there's no guarantee Bifrons won't still mess things up in the future, or that, if he keeps succeeding it won't start to cause a backlash from the higher-ups.

Mocking Stark and Talking Language

I feel like I've never seen the word "bespoke" before this month. Certainly not in the way Tony's using it, to brag about how his suit is custom-made, unique, high-dollar, whatever. Besides this comic, I think I've seen it on Twitter somewhere recently. I figured it was a new word or meaning, recently created by the Gen Z population. Apparently this meaning of the word dates back to at least the 1700 or 1800s, though it only supposedly picked up in the U.S. in the last few decades. Go figure.

That fit for Tony Stark. Not only because he's absolutely the kind of person who brags about how he has the money to get specially-made outfits, and use it as a diss against someone who doesn't. Stark has more than a little Mean Girl in him, or maybe it's just Wealthy Frat Boy. "I say Hammer Industries, your bid presentation is almost as poorly put-together as your latest line of defense droids."

But also because Stark strikes me as the sort of adult who tries really hard to stay current on new slang and terms. Because it pays to be able to speak with the customer or labor pool on their terms, but also because Stark desperately wants to remain cool. "What's up, fellow teens?" And normally he can probably pull it off with what passes for his charm, and the fancy displays, and the high-quality whatever (cars, clothes, liquor, audio-visual presentations).

But he knows, no matter how many times he dies and then somehow brings himself back in a new or rebuilt organic body, he's getting older, and he's gonna be out of touch one of these days. All the kids will laugh at him. Thus, he tries to remain hip.

I feel like he's the only Marvel super-scientist that does this. Richards probably doesn't even think about it, same for Banner. Pym knows he's a lost cause (Hank Pym will never be cool). McCoy is probably relying on just appearing huggably adorable as he ages. T'Challa is just cool, full stop. Shuri and Amadeus Cho aren't old enough to worry about this yet (and given the rate characters age in the Marvel Universe, they never will be), but Cho probably will end up like Stark, while Shuri won't. Cho has too much invested in making sure people know he's the smartest guy in the room, even when he isn't.

Peter Parker probably depends on how much of a loser he's being written as this week. Brand New Day Parker definitely tries to use trendy lingo and sounds ridiculous. Most other, non-terrible, Peter Parkers don't bother. Like Pym, Peter pretty much accepts that he's not going to be cool. He may not always be correct, but his perception of the situation means he doesn't have to try.

Must Be "Talk About Characters I Hate" Week

So I finally actually post about Steven Universe, and I decide to talk about this goober*, of all characters:

I don't interact with many other Steven Universe fans, so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm pretty sure Lars is not one of the more popular characters. Which is understandable, because Lars is a complete jerk. He's rude to Steven, takes advantage of his coworker and friend Sadie's good nature. He apparently blows up at his parents so frequently they're tiptoeing around him like they expect a bomb to go off (although they named him "Laramie", so they kinda have it coming). He tries to play at being the cynical guy who hates everything to impress the "Cool Kids", who aren't actually impressed by that at all.

The series has devoted at least three, maybe four episodes by this point to him, all of which boil down to Lars maybe learning he shouldn't be such a jerk to people all the time, and should appreciate his friends or something. Except he has to learn the same damn lesson all over again by the next episode that focuses on him. It's a little frustrating, especially since most other characters that get that much focus make some kind of progression, their perspective evolves, something.

Maybe he resists it because all of it involves Steven meddling in some way. It had to be pretty jarring to learn that everyone (except Sadie) liked Lars better when he was acting like Steven. Because Steven had accidentally wound up in control of Lars' body. And when he found out and freaked out at Steven, everyone yelled at him. Maybe that's a difficult situation to take lessons from. Or, it's just difficult for some people to change.

For some reason, years ago, I read part of an interview online Garth Ennis did about The Boys. He mentioned people being mad that Hughie was, at the end, still making the same decisions. Ennis argued, as best I can remember, that people don't change that much. That Hughie would still be much the same guy he always was, for good or ill. It's not a universal rule, but I know for myself, attempts to move outside my normal patterns at social events don't tend to last long. I can try to be more involved, but after awhile, I drift away from the crowds to the periphery, where there's less noise, move breathing room.

I don't know if that's what's happening with Lars. We rarely see him making the effort to be kinder or more open before falling back into anger and defensiveness. But all the hints and nods to Lars having been friends with Reynaldo, or the times he's worried about how Sadie feels about him, suggest we're supposed to see it within him. He just has to chose to follow those impulses, rather than burying them under fear people will laugh at him over those personality traits. But on the show, if characters actually show a better nature, they tend to act on it when the chips are down. I'm not sure when, or in what form, Lars' nature will show through, but I believe it will at some key moment.

Which isn't much consolation to the people sick of having to see him learn the same lesson over and over again right now, but maybe it'll be something.

* Forgot to add my footnote. Someone retweeted another person who had screencapped someone in the comments for some Canadian news site. The comment was complaining that liberals were calling anyone who didn't go along with them goobers and slack-jawed yokels, and the tweeter wondered who still called people that. Answer is that I do, at least. Look, I get easily frustrated with other drivers and sometimes profanity and euphemisms for profanity don't work. And "Spud Hammlicker and his pumpkin truck" only fits in particular situations.

This May Be The Scowliest Team Ever

Yes, even scowlier than those '90s Punisher/Ghost Rider/Wolverine team-ups. I'm actually surprised I'm sticking to an "every other month*" schedule with these made-up team posts. When I was making a list of possible XBox 360 characters to use, I noticed a lot of my games have similar protagonists. So angry, sullen, violent male protagonists for everyone! With a couple of outliers of course, see how long they can tolerate each other.

The Leader: Wei Shen (Sleeping Dogs) - Wei survived going undercover in Hong Kong gangs, and not only brought down some major Triad leaders, but also exposed corruption in the police force. And he survived, which is the most impressive part of all. Wei believes in the law, but also recognizes its limitations, which isn't the same as accepting them. He will step outside what's legal to extract what punishment he thinks appropriate. How long he could keep his badge under those circumstances is up in the air.

Wei's pretty good at driving, shooting, and beating people up, but I think the most critical skill he has for this circumstance is that he's very good at working with people and gaining their trust, even if he despises those people. That may be key here, him convincing the rest of the team he cares about them, and they can trust him, even if that isn't necessarily the case early on. If they survive long enough, I imagine it will be the case, because Wei also seems to form genuine strong bonds quickly, whether he meant to or not. If something happens to someone on the team after that point, he could get a little out of control.

The Rogue: Corvo Attono (Dishonored) - For the purposes of this, I'm going to assume one of the High Chaos endings, probably one where Emily didn't survive being abducted by Havelock. The game tells you that, in that event, Corvo ultimately abandons Dunwall and flees to who knows where, trying to escape his past. So let's go with that. He left, just kept using Blink until he was exhausted, then slept, woke up, and kept going until he felt he'd run far enough. He may have settled some place, but more likely he drifts. The Outsider hasn't spoken to him in years. Makes sense, Corvo hasn't done anything interesting in years. Corvo opted to focus on the revenge he felt he was owed, rather than attempt to pave a better path for Emily, and look how that ended up. So he avoids trusting his judgment whether to take action or not.

What he's going to get out of all this is unclear. A chance to try again somewhere else, a chance to end it with some higher goal. Perhaps it's that he sees something similar in the other members of the group, and in this case, like attracted like. Or maybe he's noticed that even with his failing Emily and Dunwall, the world didn't fall apart entirely, and it's worth keeping it from being destroyed by outside forces. If he keeps taking action, though, the Outsider will probably start egging him on again, and Corvo might react badly to that.

Corvo and Wei are both experts on infiltration, though Wei's approach is long-term, deep cover, while Corvo's who you turn to when you need something stolen quickly. The two could make quite a team, if they can trust each other. Given past experiences, both are going to be on guard against betrayal from within. There's no telling which way Corvo might break at a critical moment, and it isn't clear if anyone else on this team can stop a guy who can teleport and slow time, though he might not be the only one with that last trick. . .

The Muscle: Rita Mordio (Tales of Vesperia) - Rita isn't a scowly, broody guy, but she is temperamental, she is violent, as well as loud, smart, and fully confident in her abilities. She's a serious powerhouse with the spells she'd learned by the end of the game. Hitting people with tidal waves, meteor swarms, masses of darkness. The tradeoff is she's not the best at physical combat, and it takes time to cast. Good thing she's going to have an entire team of people good at killing with hands, blades, and guns who can buy her time. As it is, she's the smartest member of the team, and if they need a solution to anything related to sciences, she's the best bet. If it's going to require diplomacy, she's the one to keep well away.

Rita was 15 in the game. I though about maybe having it be Rita a few years down the line, a bit older, more powerful, but it might also sand the edges off a bit. Maybe not, she might have grown kinder to her friends, but she doesn't know these guys. She didn't have a lot of patience for people she thought were stupid, or behaved foolishly. This group might drive her up the wall. She is going to yell at and nearly blow up this bunch repeatedly. There isn't anyone on here that resembles the naive innocent Estelle was, which seems to be the sort of person who brings out Rita's protective nature. What's mostly likely to keep her with them is curiosity about the worlds they're moving through, or the threats they're facing. Possibly also the desire to keep her friends back home safe.

The Guy of Mystery: Sean (The Saboteur) - I do really poorly at picking this archetype. I suppose, with Corvo years on from the end of the game, I should have switched him and Sean. Oh well.

At least with Corvo, I could sort of envision what he might do after his game ended. With Sean, I'm not sure. I can't see him staying in Paris, he'd patched things up with Veronique as much as he was likely to. Would he return to car racing? British Intelligence hinted that Sean had a checkered past back in Ireland, so he might not be able to go back home (unless all that killing he did for the Brits causes them to look the other way.) Sean is going to swear constantly, drink and smoke constantly, and want to blow things up. He will probably have some idea initially about needing to protect Rita, because she's just a kid/girl, until she blows something up (possibly his car), at which point he'll mostly abandon that impulse.

Like Wei and Corvo, Sean can be sneaky, although his approach always started with breaking a soldier's neck and stealing their uniform. Not sure how applicable that will be. Probably better to rely on his facility with driving and explosives. Between him and Wei, there could be some pretty great driving sequences for this crew. Have Corvo Blinking from a car, over to a different vehicle to kill the driver, then back before it crashes. Or Rita popping up out of a sunroof to unleash some destructive attack. Sean's never one to pass up making a smartass remark, so he's probably the one who loosens things up from time to time. The others may have their own sense of humor, but most of them don't show it much.

The Man with a Carriage: Nigel West Dickens (Red Dead Redemption) - I couldn't resist putting this goober on a team. Dickens was a snake oil salesman, but clever enough to be useful to John Marston on occasion (and clever enough to get a lot of help out of Marston before providing assistance). Despite Marston saving his neck multiple times, Dickens was never happy to see him. Because John Marston was an exceptionally violent man with a short temper, who didn't entirely like Dickens. Still, as penance for all those people he swindled, he can be saddled with three John Marstons. Though Rita is the one most likely to torment him. She'll see through his spiel right off, and while she may not have much sympathy for the people he suckers, she'll be entirely contemptuous of his nonsense.

It's really a crappy carriage drawn by some poor horse, so except in certain circumstances, they'd probably rely on Wei and Sean's cars, or whatever else they can scrounge up. Dickens is going to wind up in this entirely by accident, but be unable to safely get out. Like it or not, the safest place for him is next to these people who have the capability of protecting him, if not much interest in doing it. So how is Nigel West Dickens going to earn his keep? The carriage is, if a slow conveyance, at least an unassuming one. There might be times you can't use a car or whatever. For all that his medicines don't actually help people, he does have that sort of fictional idiot savant ability to stumble into something useful. His zombie repellent did precisely the opposite, but there might be an occasion where you want to attract the undead. And he must know something useful about medicine or chemistry that could come in handy.

While he's not as smooth a talker as he likes to think, he does have some skill at it, or he wouldn't have survived as long as he did. Wei is good at working undercover, but only when posing as a tough guy. The, "Hey, I'm good at breaking legs, why don't you let me join your gang?" approach. Which is useful, but not going to work in every circumstance. Sean and Corvo aren't that different. They can't play harmless. Dickens can probably serve as a distraction, simply by not shutting up long enough to be told to scram. If he really needs to, he can play an unassuming old man quite easily. There would have to be a scene where he and Rita have to work together, her as the clever and exasperated young girl, accompanying her sweet, slightly addled grandpa, and use that to get into somewhere, past a border crossing, something. Dickens' nerves and Rita's impatience would make for a fun combination.

The Wild Card: Nathaniel Renko (Singularity) - I haven't decide whether Renko is part of the team, or the antagonist. He brings them together either way. In the ending I like best - Renko kills Demishev and Barisov and keeps the TMD - the game says Renko vanishes, but there are rumors of someone wielding great power building a new empire in the ruins of the U.S. That wasn't how I interpreted my taking that approach - I thought of it as Renko simply being tired of these two Russians trying to jerk him around - but we can go with it.

Armed with a TMD with unlimited energy, it wouldn't be difficult for Renko to recreate some of the horrors he faced on Kartorga. If he keeps mucking about with the TMD's ability to warp time, maybe he punches holes through into other universes. All the other characters' worlds (except Sean's) had some aspect of the supernatural or bizarre. Demons, witches, zombies, a world-spanning octopus-looking thing made of energy, you name it. And after dealing with Nazis, Sean may not be fazed by the science-spawned horrors anyway. This team is comprised of the people who encounter these rifts, and while exploring them or fending off what's emerging, they run across each other. Except for Dickens, who blundered in while fleeing angry townspeople, but whatever, he's there, and escape isn't going to be easy. They'll have to decide whether to try and defend their homes first, or head for the source of the problem. Renko may not be content to stay in one place, and try to take the fight to their homes directly. Or try to take them over while they're running around in his world.

* I looked it up, and "bimonthly" can mean either twice a month or every other month? That explains why I'm always unsure when to use it. Just an awful decision by the English language right there.

The Twelve Caesars - Matthew Dennison

At times, The Twelve Caesars is pretty interesting. I've not read that much Roman history, and while this is hardly exhaustive, it does provide a decent look at each figure, as well as provide a good overarching view of the changes in Rome and its politics.

Even so, I frequently found my mind wandering to other topics while reading, and going through most of a page only vaguely aware of what I was reading. Dennison's quite in love with his own vocabulary, which can make his writing a dense at times. I note he uses "grizzly" in situations where I think "grisly" is what he's going for, unless they share the same meaning now. It's only two or three times, but in each case it snapped me out of the sentence and got me thinking about grammar. One more distraction from the book itself, then.

When describing each of the caesars, Dennison largely quotes ancient historians. Plutarch, Dio, Tacitus. His book is itself based on Suetonius' work on the 12 caesars. He says in his introduction he hopes to illustrate telling facets of these different men in these brief overviews, and would consider the book a success if he convinced even one reader to read Suetonius' work. Considering how he describes that fellow's approach to things, I can't imagine why I'd do that.

With Suetonius, everything is portents, signs, oracles, prophecies. There is no significant event which happens where there wasn't some allegedly significant sign of it beforehand. These signs are, naturally, always interpreted in one way, and that is always the correct interpretation given how things turn out. Suetonius might view my life and proclaim my distaste with waffles one morning as a sure sign that I was going to fall and twist my knee later that day, as I just so happened to do. The most interesting thing Dennison revealed to me about Suetonius' work was the idea that character was believed to be unchanging in those days. So if you believed a particular action was the sign of poor character, then that person must always have had that particular failing or weakness. Which puts the historian in the position of having to explain decisions which run contrary to their overall perspective on the person in question.

Tiberius starts out doing fairly well as principate, but gradually withdraws from Rome more and more, grows more prone to having people killed, more imperious, less willing to humor the senate's delusion that it still has any power whatsoever. Whichever Tiberius the ancient historian decides was the true one, they have to jump through hoops to explain the other actions, usually opting for either a malignant outside influence, or that any benevolent actions were a sham (Domitian gets that last one)

The shifting state of the Senate was another interesting part. Augustus pulled a nice little song and dance where he appeared to surrender his position and powers after a certain point, but in reality, he'd surrendered nothing. However, he made the Senate feel as though they were still important, which kept them mostly happy and quiet. Some of the later fellows did this, others didn't, and the latter frequently fared worse. Which is funny, because the Senate rapidly loses any real say in it, as the legions, and especially the Praetorian Guard, become the king-makers. Which it's decided someone is to be removed, they're the ones who do the removing, not the Senate, which mostly sits there doing nothing until the caesar's dead, at which point they engage in a lively round of "I hated that guy so much, I always said so!" But soldiers can be fickle, and it's hard to keep enough of them happy enough that they don't start looking for a new leader in sufficient force to make something happen.

As far as The Twelve Caesars goes, I was more intrigued by the things less directly related to the actual caesars. The perspective of historians - both how they approach it and who is writing the histories* - and how the position was achieved shifting over time. The book's not bad for an overview of the caesars, but I think if that were your interest, you'd be better off seeking out specific books on whichever one you were most interested in.

* There was a note that Tiberius, while not loved in Rome for the distance he kept from it, was quite well-regarded in the provinces, who were used to being handed edicts from afar, and so were less concerned with whether they came from Rome or Capri, than with how smoothly their own lives ran. Perhaps like umpires, the best emperors are those you never notice?

The Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett

I've watched The Maltese Falcon twice now, but I had never read the book itself until this weekend. A coworker finished it and loaned it to me. It's a fast read, never bogs down. In some ways, the story goes faster reading it than watching it, especially near the end. I think I can read dialogue faster than Bogart speaks it.

I did wind up picturing the characters as they appeared in the film, as far as I could, anyway. Hammett describes Spade's face as being a series of Vs running from chin, to mouth, to eyebrows, and I spent a little time trying to picture that on Bogart's face. It helps in some ways. Spade gets cruel sometimes, and I think Bogart had a gift for delivering dialogue in a way that blunted the cruelty just enough we don't turn against him. He could be cruel, when it was called for ("You killed my husband, Sam, be kind to me. Jesus Christ."), but it has to reined in occasionally.

I notice the movie cut out certain things, mainly related to Spade's romantic life. As my coworker noted, it definitely played down the affair with Iva Archer. So in that regard, the book helps quite a bit, because it explains more clearly why Spade didn't care about Miles' death. I remember watching the move and being surprised by how disinterested Spade was. It seemed like a contrivance, a way to make the cops suspicious of Spade. In the book, it makes more sense, and the reason Spade can't explain why he's not moved makes sense, too.

The other bits the movie excised were Gutman's daughter, Rhea, who to be fair, appears in only one scene, and wasn't really needed. And the matter of Joel Cairo's sexuality. Not really surprised that would be downplayed in the movie, either.

One thing I did notice reading the story was Hammett's consistent use of the word "lighted". Spade lighted many cigarettes, when I felt it should say he lit them. I don't know whether Hammett was being grammatically correct or not, but it certainly felt like a needlessly awkward choice. It's the only awkward thing about the writing. I'm envious of his ability to describe people in colorful ways that still make sense. When he describes Gutman as having fleshy cones for arms, I can visualize what he means by that, and even if I can't quite see it on Bogart's face, I understand the description of Spade's face as a collection of Vs.

What I Bought 4/2/2013 - Part 5

I forgot to mention yesterday, but we did get that rain they were calling for Wednesday night. Naturally, the hole in the ceiling started dripping, which makes trying to sleep fun. It's not the sort of repetitive sound that escorts on gently off to slumberland.

Captain Marvel #10, 11, by Kelly Sue DeConnick * Christopher Sebela (writers), Filipe Andrade (artist), Jordie Bellaire (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I like the visual of Carol leaping across rooftops with some small-time burglar (complete with domino mask and striped prison shirt). But the way the Carol on the poster is smiling creeps me out. It's her cheeks, they're too shiny, too cherubic, it's freaky. I know, that was the style at one time, and Quinones is trying to evoke that. And he does a good job of it, but it's still freaky looking. Also, I notice Quinones has Carol rocking her new hairstyle on the covers, but Andrade has gone back to the long, flowing locks. I don't care one way or the other - though the new haircut gives Carol a more distinctive look - I'd just like everyone to get on the same page.

Carol, having been told there's a lesion in her brain that moving deeper into her brain every time she flies, so she should not fly, does what most people do when they get news from the doctor they don't want to hear: She ignores it. She gets angry when Frank Gianelli tells her he's going to hire a different pilot until her situation is sorted. She charges out to do her Captain Marvel thing, and nearly passes out after lifting a subway train. Frankly, that doesn't seem like an unusual response to lifting and dragging a train, but I still like it because I've had that response. Where I know I'm sick, or might be getting sick, and every little ache, pain, or sneeze, is a sign of doom. Carol also tries to turn down Captain America's offer of his flying motorcycle, but her assistant Wendy paints it up in Carol's colors and hires Dakota North to teach Carol how to fly it, since it's the "motorcycle" part that's more relevant to driving it than the "flying" part, apparently.

It's not a bad thing to have because an old-school Deathbird has shown up (flowing the orders of some mysterious guy), and when Carol tried to fly under her own power in their first fight, she blacked out and pancaked into the pavement. I'm not sure jumping off the bike while having it ram Deathbird in mid-air was the best approach, seeing as she can't use it to fly if she isn't riding it, but she's new at this, she'll get the hang of it. Also, her asshole neighbor filed a lawsuit to have her evicted. No matter what, always remember average people in the Marvel Universe are terrible.

Tom Foss noted that issue 9 had a panel where they used "diffused", instead of "defused", which is not great work by someone in quality control. Issue 10 had "tunned" when it was supposed to be "tunnel", and come on people, do you not have spell check? I know those things aren't perfect, but even the Blogger's spell check recognizes "tunned" is not a word. Just putting that out there, moving on.

I think Andrade does better on maintaining panel-to-panel consistency with character faces over these two issues, though I feel like the shape of Carol's face does shift a lot. How prominent her jaw line is, how far her chin just out, things like that. Beyond that, Andrade overdoes it one the perspective sometimes. There's a panel of Dakota sitting in a chair and calling the cops, and the hand furthest away from us is just miniscule. I don't mind some exaggeration, but that's too much.

Complaints aside, Andrade does bring a lot of energy to the fight scenes, and uses overlapping panels well to carry the eye from one to the other. I thought page 16 in issue 10 was a good example. The panel of Deathbird landing on the roof, slightly overlaps the one above of Carol clocking her with the heavy bag, and heavily overlaps the next panel of Deathbird rising as Carol winds up again. The panel below that has the characters in the same places relative to each other, but uses the "SLIIIIIIICCEE" sound effect and the torn heavy bag to draw the eye down to the next panel, which is slightly overlapped by the one following it, with the knife-feathers rushing towards Carol. There's another good bit on the next page at the bottom, with the closeup of Carol's hand and Deathbird's face, leading into a larger panel of Carol blasting Deathbird, where it's like we've been thrown back by the force of it, just as the panel borders have been pushed outwards.

I also notice that through the first half of #10, Andrade sticks to mostly square or rectangular panels. The number and layout shifts, but otherwise they're pretty similar. Once Deathbird kicks Carol off the roof and the fight starts, Andrade starts using a lot of slanted panels with either 2 or zero parallel sides, trapezoids (or trapeziums, if you're in the UK, apparently, who knew?). I can't detect a pattern to it, where the narrow side is the one the action originates from, or it's the side Carol's on. It produces a see-saw effect down the page, moving you from side to side, so maybe it's supposed to represent shifts in momentum. It stops when Carol decides to fly after Deathbird, Andrade goes back to square and rectangles, because the fight is effectively over, I guess. Once Carol tried to fly, she was beat. So Andrade has some interesting compositional beats, but needs to improve drawing characters consistently.

I don't know if it's Andrade's inks of Bellaire's colors, but the frequent use of shadow, or outline for Deathbird's a nice touch. Plays up the "bird of prey" aspect to have her silhouetted or shadowed. Death from above, and all that.

I'm Not Up On Criminal Euphemisms

I'm encouraged that yesterday's post went up as planned. It means they got the auto-publish function working consistently again. That'll come in handy when Internet access is spotty the next 2 months. Which is also, I guess, a heads up that posting may assume a more irregular schedule the next 2 months. Now you know.

Moving on.

Back when I watched Once Upon a Time In America, I took about a page worth of notes. For some reason I was looking back over them earlier this week and I saw I'd made a note, '"roll the drunk" means rob him?' Which references a scene from the early stages of the movie, when they're all kids, and the local mob guy offers to pay them if they'll do just that. This is how they meet Max (the character James Woods plays as an adult), when he interrupts their attempt and makes off with the watch himself.

Which is a little odd. That feels like the sort of thing I should have known already, but apparently not. I was taking it literally. The guy's too drunk to have any more, but you don't want him taking up space, so it's time for him to go. But he's too drunk to stand (or too belligerent to take the hint), so you drag/toss/roll his drunk butt out the door.

I figured the kids were trying to prove they were tough and/or clever enough to work for this guy by removing some rummy that was annoying the head honcho. Maybe that's the original meaning, and criminals appropriated it for themselves?  I imagine there's a bit of that going both ways. Criminals taking seemingly innocent phrases and uses them to refer to something illegal, non-crooks adopting criminal terminology because it sounds cool.

A Few Thoughts on Marvel's Solicitations

They really are giving Gambit another ongoing series? I thought the chatter to that effect I saw online was just the Internet having some fun with me. Apparently not.

While I do appreciate the solicitation assuring readers Bella Donna won't be appearing in issue 1 - that's one of those relationships I could go the rest of my life without seeing more pages wasted on* - but I must disagree with its description of Gambit as the premier** thief of the Marvel Universe. Hello, the Black Cat? Wouldn't have been enough to refer to him as 'the X-Men's resident thief'?

I am left wondering why now? Has there been something big going on with Gambit recently that might prompt giving him another shot as a solo star? I know he was in X-23 regularly, but given that got canceled recently, I can't imagine it would serve as a springboard for him.

Maybe getting your butt whupped by Captain America is a good career move?

If you were wondering, I'm not actually planning on buying it. Maybe in trade, if it gets a lot of superb reviews that describe it as having strong points I find appealing. I find I don't want people to tell me why they think I'd like something or should buy it; rather I just want to know what they like about it, and I'll decide if it sounds good to me from that. It goes along with my enjoyment of other peoples' enthusiasm for things, and my dislike of the hard sell.

I am going to try Hawkeye, because I like Hawkeye, and it has David Aja. For how long, I don't know. I hope he's had sufficient lead time to get at least six issues done by August, but I doubt it. Admittedly, Hawkeye doesn't have the best track record when it comes to maintaining his own series, but what the hey. If I enjoy it, it won't be the first series I liked Marvel canceled, and if I don't, then I won't care if it gets canceled, will I?

I'm trying to be more accepting of the inevitability of such things these days.

By the by, what's the deal with all the Point 1 (or Point 2) issues of Spider-Man titles that were canceled years ago? Are they planning to pick up where those series left off, because I think Web of Spider-Man ended on a Clone Saga tie-in*** , and nobody needs to rush to pick up threads from that.

* Also on that list: Scott Summers/Jean Grey, which always seemed a waste of space that could be devoted to characters I was actually interested in, and Hank Pym/Janet van Dyne. I don't need to see any more writers tease the possibility of them getting back together only for it not to happen because of, well, you know. Just leave them as two people who care for each other, who could maybe be friends, but don't work as a couple. Such things do happen in this world.


** They spelled it "premiere" though, which means what, he's the first thief? That's not what they meant, right? Unless they meant "first among equals" or something to that effect.


*** Something to do with the Jackal programming Peter to kill MJ, and Ben Reilly and the New Warriors trying to stop him. Yeesh, even as someone who liked the Scarlet Spider, there were some terrible stories in that stretch.

What I Bought 11/29/2011 - Part 2

I hate going to the laundromat when there are other people, because inevitably one of the other people is the sort that needs 5 washers and 7 dryers, and bloody hell, save some space for the rest of us!

Darkwing Duck #18 - All the "HAHA"s on the cover remind me of some Joker image of him clutching his hair while "HAHA"s filled the background. Actually, there are probably a lot of Joker images out there like that.

I'm not sure if I'm overthinking this, but I didn't understand entirely what's going on. We found out the source of the weird slime. The answer was pretty much what I guessed, originally, but then talked myself out of. Negaduck comes back to the physical plane, along with Morgana, but his return somehow makes the slime less powerful. Yeah, I didn't follow that, or how finding one's "inner Donald" helps to fight the slime. The assembled villains combine with the slime, which proves to be a poor decision when Darkwing beats Negaduck with the truth, triggering a spell Morgana had placed on the villain during their shared incarceration. And everything ends mostly happily.

I don't know whether this story was rushed by BOOM! losing the license, or if I'm just struggling because I'm missing two chapters, but there are definitely certain mechanics of this story that are confusing me. Silvani's art wasn't quite as strong as usual, but that may be due to the repetition of some of the panels (there are 12 consecutive panels of just characters hitting the slime). They also went with a few more double-page spreads than normal, and I'm not sure that's playing to Silvani's strengths. I think he's very good at having action flow from one panel to the next, but large single images perhaps aren't his forte. It bugs me that "forte" is supposed to be pronounced "fort". The "ay" makes it sound classier. Or has it changed to where "For-tay" is an accepted pronunciation now? Back on topic. It wasn't the strongest ending, but I do feel like things have to be sped up, and endings are tough under situations.

Grifter #3 - Cole's brother - with the aid of a helicopter - has caught up to Cole again. Which leads to several pages of them pointing guns at each other, while gradually moving closer to each other, and spouting all the ways in which each one has disappointed the other. Then one of the Daemonites shows up, and before Cole can kill it, Max has his ride land on him. Cole kills the alien (probably not), and makes its partner drive him back to where they came from. Which is Seattle, which is how we get Green Arrow showing up in the next issue. Also, Cole's former partner has been captured by people in black suits and trenchcoats, who want to know about Cole.

There are certain parts of this that felt odd. The bit with Cole and Max moving closer to each other, until they're guns are pressed against each other's chests. Then they lower their guns, then Cole puts a knife up near Max' throat, only to throw it away two panels later. So what was all that? Macho posturing? Cole losing his temper for a second, or trying to make a point? That he's not the mad dog Max apparently thinks he is, because if he was, he'd have shanked Max just then? Why is Gretchen so unwilling to talk about Cole? Could be mistrust of authorities, or recognition that she's relatively safe as long as they need something from her, but I don't know. She seemed pretty done with Cole after pulling a gun on him and telling him to stay away last issue.

I don't usually have much to say about Cafu's art. It's not spectacular, but gets the job done in terms of presenting information clearly, which is more than some artists can say. I do want to compliment him on the title pages. Maybe it's Edmundson's idea, but either way, Cafu's done a nice job incorporating the title of the issue into the page. This issue, he fit the phrase "On-Ramp" in the 'copters whirling propeller blades. Last month it was on a sign in the diner, one probably used to announce the specials. It's a nice touch.

Legion of Monsters #2 - Contrary to the cover, there are no extended motorcycle sequences in this issue. Bikes are used, but in the parts we don't see.

Morbius concludes the team is wasting its time sedating and incarcerating the crazy monsters in their underground city. He splits them up and sends them out to see if anyone else can determine what's wrong. Which sends the mummy and Manphibian to Damion Hellstrom, who does call up the force behind it, but only succeeds in getting N'Kantu possessed and then crispy fried. Damion Hellstrom, everybody! For when you absolutely need the situation to get worse.

Meanwhile, Jack Russell and Elsa have traveled to a closed down rest area which is a portal to hell dimensions. Because Jack wants to pick Satannish's brain. Elsa unwisely comes along, then even more unwisely, gives Satannish an opportunity to screw them over, by telling them something useful. This is bad because a) they now know Morbius knows what's going on (which puts them about 10 pages behind us), and b) the only reason the demons weren't eating Elsa's soul was Satannish owed Jack a favor, and now the favor is paid. Things go downhill from there.

It's an interesting issue, I don't know if it's a good issue, in an objective sense, but I did like it. I like the scenes, the unusual worlds the monsters travel in, and how they aren't accepted even by the people in those circles anymore than they are by average folk. I still haven't the slightest idea who is behind all this, unless it's the "Susanna" Morbius mentioned. Satannish said Dracula was the only other vamp besides Morbius to survive the last occurrence, but it doesn't strike me as a Dracula sort of scheme.

Tomorrow, the other two DC books, and Villains for Hire kicks off!

This Spun Off From Vocabulary To Villain Weaponry

It's kind of cool the words that will pop into your head while watching something. Sometimes the word makes perfect sense, sometimes it doesn't. The Cheyenne Social Club* was on again over the weekend, and considering the dresses some of the ladies wore, I'm not really surprised the word "decolletage" leapt to the front of my mind. Which is nice, it's a nifty word, rolls off the tongue well. Then I wound up arguing with myself about whether it's a word that can be used in casual conversation without offending someone. I guess if I was discussing a lady's outfit with a designer, perhaps. Directly complimenting a woman on the low-cut neckline of her dress seems like to get me slapped, unless I'm considerably smoother than I think I am.

At least that one made sense. I'm still not sure why the term "vagus nerve" came to mind while I was playing Persona 3 last week. Nobody mentions it in the game that I can recollect. For a minute I wasn't even sure it was a real term. Maybe it was something I made up, maybe it was a made up comic book term. No, it refers to the nerves that, among other things, regulate your heart rate.

Actually, thinking about it as a possible cmic term had me in the mind of it being the Vegas nerve. Something like, "Not even Captain America can resist the Vegas Nerve!" Though that would probably be the Las Vegas Nerve, a weapon that sends impulese to your brain consistent with gambling, liquor, and casinos. Cap might be a bad target for that. If you're going to stop a superhero with blackjack, women, and shiny things, you're better off taking on Tony Stark. Or Hal Jordan. Maybe Volstagg if it can simulate all-you-can-eat buffets in there.

* I really enjoy Henry Fonda's character in that movie. He's generally a good friend, but also a bit of an opportunist. Only a little bit, he's too unmotivated to really try and take advantage of a situation. Plus, his tendency to be a motormouth, and complain about what he perceives as Jimmy Stewart's deficiencies. He's like a less crotchety version of Walter Brennan in Rio Bravo, but more goofy for that. Actually, he's a little like how Volstagg was portrayed pre-Simonson, the guy who acts as though he had everything under control, after the shooting has stopped.

I'm Typing Cheese An Awful Lot Without Discussing Food

Theoretically, yesterday's post will come back up eventually. If not, I'll just have to retype it. Little annoying, but it's not as though it was the next Great Swiss Novel. No, I'm not Swiss, but I think that'll work in my favor. No one will expect an American to write a great Swiss novel.

In other news, I showed Alex Batgirl #18 (the Valentine's Day team-up with Klarion) while I was visiting. I don't think it wowed him, except for the part at the end. Now he's on the lookout for the perfect moment to exclaim "My word! A wandering pack of harlots!" This seems like a questionable idea, but he does have a way with people, so he can probably deliver it in such a way he won't get punched. It's unlikely I'll be around at the time to follow up with 'Cheese it, buckles.' Just as well. Alex doesn't wear buckles much, and it might only amuse me anyway.

I'm still partial to that phrase myself. The problem is Steph used it differently than I typically think of it. Yes, I think about the meaning of the phrase "Cheese it", what of it? She's using it like "Cool it", or "Relax". I tend to think of it as "Run away!" That's how Bender used it in that Futurama Animal House takeoff episode. Dang it, I'm getting conflicting signals from my entertainment options.

A Page By Page Look At Batgirl #18

I haven't done one of these since the GrimJack: Manx Cat mini series wrapped up last year, but there were several thing I laughed at in this issue, so what the heck.

Page 1: The flowery script at the top for "Batgirl and Klarion the Witch-Boy in. . .", the border for the actual panel, with hearts and flowers drawn in. Teekl calmly licking blood off his paw, but I really like Steph's expression. The way she's looking sideways at Klarion, with not a frown exactly, but a somewhat unhappy expression, clearly unsure about this.

Page 3, panel 2: Steph asks Klarion if he'd like to make a red-handed quip, or should she? This as Klarion kneels there with a heart in his hand. I only mention it because it's referenced later.

Page 3, Panel 4: Is "Mijakk" a normal sound for Klarion's magic? I tried looking it up to see if there's a significance to the word, and the closest I got was that Mijak refers to a group of people who live in western Macedonia. Maybe it's an archaic pronunciation of "magic"?

Page 4: And Steph's shrunk inside a crystal ball thing.

Page 5, panel 2: Klarion's handkerchief is monogrammed "KWB". I think there's a "W", there's certainly a K and B.

Page 5, panel 3: Two things. One, the sound effects for Steph's grappling hook bouncing around inside the pink ball are "poot" and "pink". Pink is appropriate considering the color, and poot is just a funny word. Second, Steph deciding that if she's small she can fight lice with the Atom. She'd be so lucky.

Page 6, panel 3: Again, two things. First, I love how happy Klarion is at the prospect of an alliance. Two, Steph hates magic, which means she's more a member of the Bat-family every day.

Page 7, panel 1: The text box stating, 'A painstakingly long conversation later. . .' Hey, DC cut the page count down, there's no time for lengthy exposition!

Page 8, panel 3: Klarion's comment upon seeing Teekl (in were-cat form): 'Your hands are all red.' He's going to have to work on his quips. At least it was an accurate statement.

Page 11, panel 1: Klarion's sad face is so endearing. It almost makes one forget it's his fault Teekl was running around tearing out hearts.

Page 13, panel 2: They've arrived in Limbo Town. We have Steph dressed as a pilgrim {Edit: as Jim S. points out in the comments, she's dressed as a Puritan, not a pilgrim}, and the effect for her throwing up from teleporting is 'blarghlegurgle', which is lengthy. And possibly French, judging by the "le" in there.

Page 13, panels 3 and 4: Klarion -Familiars are born from the bonding tree, but there's no way we'd ever make it across the Grundy Fields. . . Steph - Not this time of year anyway. Klarion - How could you possibly know that?

Sarcasm that fails is funny to me, which is strange considering how much I enjoy using sarcasm, but there you go. Actually, it's even funny when it happens to me.

Page 14, panel 2: Hmm, "Non-witch trials"? Makes sense.

Page 15, panels 1 and 2: The exchange between Steph and the owner of the cat they're gonna steal. Steph - Excuse me for being forward, but I just have to ask where you got that bonnet! Limbo Towner - I made it. Are you questioning my craftsmanship? Steph - Yes? L.T. - Well, then I shall question yours! Steph - Good! So long as that takes at least another two minutes.

I love how literally the people of Limbo Town take everything. Then again, if they use magic, it's probably critical to say what they mean, so they don't accidentally burn their house down. Words having power and all.

Page 15, panel 4: I don't get the "Accio fist" comment. I'm guessing it's a Harry Potter reference? But I do like Steph simply winding up and decking the lady. Very Indy vs. the Sword guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Steph earns bonus points for doing it while dressed as a pilgrim.

Page 16, panel 2: "The Coupling has begun!" How can you not be happy when you see the smile on his face? Well, I guess it makes sense if you've been dragged along into this like Steph was, but as spectators like us, how can you not be happy when you see the smile on his face?

Page 16, panel 3: I'm concerned how much I'm reading into the dialogue from the cats in the crystal, especially considering the dialogue is 'Meow?' 'Meow.' I'm hearing that second one like a male version of how Catwoman might say it when she's flirting with Bats.

Page 16, panel 4: The sound effect for teleporting away from an angry mob? "Porrrrrtl". Effective. Also, 'Rest assured your cat shall return a man!' 'It's a girl.' 'A Wo-man!' Only took you two tries Klarion. Then again, how does Steph know for sure? They're magic cats.

Page 17. panel 4: This wasn't a funny bit, but it's cute how as Klarion looks into the globe on the two cats, their tails are forming a little heart. Awww. Had I not laughed so much up to this point, that might have made me 'blarghlegurgle'.

Page 18, panel 2: I know it isn't a nice word, but 'harlots' is one of those words I want to be able to use more often in conversation, along with 'poltroon' and 'blaggard'. Also, 'Cheese it, buckles'? Anyone that uses "Cheese it" as a phrase (a list that includes such luminaries as Bender Bending Rodriguez, Steph, and. . . me, sometimes?) is A-OK. What do the chevrons on Steph's shirt represent? I was thinking it might be military rank, but it's upside-down for that, isn't it? Too bad, it gave me this thought of Steph time-traveling (that's what she could do while teamed-up with the Atom! He used to time-travel, I've seen it in my dad's comics!) and teaming up with Sgt. Rock and Easy Company. That's a horrible idea. Might work better with Cassandra, actually.

Page 19, panel 1: Let's see. Klarion looks horrified, Steph's closing her eyes, Francisco looks stunned, and then there's the bald, shirtless guy with the bow and wings, and a towel around his waist cheering them on. At least someone enjoyed it.

Page 19, panels 2, 3, and 4: I wouldn't have expected Steph to taste like Christmas, whatever that means. It did keep Klarion from turning Jordanna into a frog. Ugh, not those chalky heart things! At least buy some cookies!

Page 20: They walk off arm in arm, happy and satisfied with their work. Then the last panel tells us 'And they lived happily ever after. . . for exactly five more minutes. . . at which point he turned Jordanna into a frog.' You could call that a lack of self-control on Klarion's part, but it's probably a valuable lesson for Jordana.

What I Bought 12/8/2010

While I was running this morning, I wound up arguing with myself about whether the word "impediment" existed. I was sure it did (and I was right), but I was pronouncing the first "e" differently than you do with "impede", so I started to think I was making up a word. I wasn't though, just overthinking it. In other news, DC's website listed Rebels as coming out this week, and it didn't, at least not at my shop. It did that last month too, said it'd be out the 2nd Wednesday, came out the 3rd instead. It does mean next week will be a decent haul (by my current standards), but it left this week a tad bereft.

Batgirl #16 - Steph starts the issue on the run from the cops. Turns out Newton, the college student killed last issue, had a cop for a dad. And since the presence of a Batarang obviously meant Batgirl did it (as opposed to any of the half-dozen other folks in Gotham who use Batarangs), Gotham PD is out for blood. Steph does elude the police, with a little help from Detective Gage, but has an unpleasant surprise waiting at school the next day. With an assist from Oracle and Proxy (Wendy), Steph tracks down the real killers, and gets cleared of a murder charge. Sadly, the bad guys have a superfast ace up their sleeve, and this'll be a new challenge for Stephanie.

I like Steph's fairly cavalier attitude to being chased by cops. She does enjoy being Batgirl, likes the adventure (to her detriment at times), so she probably can't help but be a little flip. I like Gage trusting his instincts, and Batgirl's internal narration (which occasionally becomes external). I laughed at Wendy trying to use her wheelchair to guilt the campus cop into leaving her alone, plus her 'Oh, no - Not campus jail!!!' line, while Oracle listens in, frustrated. It was kind of sick, but the fact some of the students turned Newton's death to their benefit rang true. I was a college kid, then I taught them, and some kids will seize any excuse to duck assignments. I especially like that Miller messed with my expectations. I thought this whole arc would be Batgirl dodging the cops while trying to prove her innocent, but that's been wrapped up already, so the focus can sit on capturing the real bad guys.

It might be I'm just more accustomed to it, but I'd enjoyed Dustin Nguyen's art more this issue than I did last month. He didn't do the more exaggerated style he used at the start of Batgirl #15, which I loved, but his, I guess "typical" style worked better for me. I'm really impressed by how much expression he can convey with relatively few lines. I'm interested to see if, not that we know the bad guys have a speedster, Nguyen will continue to portray that how he did this issue. It was just one panel, but it was interlocking black and white triangles as a background, while Steph and the cops are shown all being hit in the same shot, while the handcuffs are falling off the bad guys. Basically we never see the character, just the effect.

Frank Miller did something kind of like that with Barry Allen in Dark Knight Strikes Again. You didn't see Barry run; it was more one panel he wasn't there, the next he was. Or one panel they're in a government facility, the next they're in Utah. Like observing a planet not by actually seeing it, but by its gravitational tug on stars and planets you do see. It probably won't go that way, since I think Nguyen drew it that way to keep it a surprise, but you never know. For the record, that's not my observation about Barry Allen. I read it in a David Brothers' post on DKSA on 4thletter.

Like Wookies, Atlanteans Tend To Rip Arms Off When They Lose

X-Men versus Agents of Atlas #1 was my first time reading about this Dr. Nemesis character. Based on what I read, Parker summed him up quite well with that little caption box: 'Scientific Genius. Height of Arrogance.' I don't know if there's more to him than being smart and pompous, and right now, it doesn't matter.

What I think we need is an Arrogance Battle between Dr. Nemesis and Namor. They're both hanging around the X-Men, they both think very highly of themselves, let's see who's more supercilious. We can use the younger mutants to ask them stupid, exceedingly obvious questions that will annoy them, then see who delivers the more cutting, yet calm remark. Who can provide the more withering look of utter contempt towards? Who better expresses their frustration that you are wasting their time with your pettifoggery*, when they have important business to attend to elsewhere?

* The first time I ever saw this word was an issue of the Avengers where they were shuffling the roster. They were debating how to arrange the main lineup, reserves, and inactives, and Namor finally gets fed and proclaims 'Enough of this pettifoggery! Let us vote!' That was when Sandman and Rage both got to become Avengers.

ABP Is Not Up For Heat-Related Kookiness Today

{No worries on that score, my small, wooly friend. It's not nearly hot enough to cook my brain.} Good. {Sleep deprivation oddness is not out of the question, though.} Awww, nuts.

I guess Jimmy Woo has to get a Bonk for breaking the Atlas-Great Wall treaty. {See, I think the dragon neglected to mention the specifics of the treaty. It'll probably back whoever wins. Dragons are evil like that.} No they aren't. They're noble and good, and cool! {Right.} The Hulk and Bruce Banner both get Hugs, because of the drugging, and the nerve gas, and all the other bad stuff they went through. Bob gets a Bonk for using the word "Smash" around the Hulk. That's just stupid, right Calvin? Calvin? {Zzzzzz. . .}

Wake up! {Wha, oh sorry! Dozed off there a minute. Warned you there could be sleep issues.} Well why did you stay up all night?! {Because I couldn't fall asleep! My sleep schedule is all wonky! Besides, night is when I plot my enemy's downfall.} [Shouldn't that be "enemies'?] Deadpool! {Oh, hi Wade, nice to see you. No, I've just the one enemy to plot a downfall for. The large, odd fellow who tore that wall off my room.} What about UnCalvin? {We're not really enemies. More like friends who express their affection through insults and oneupsmanship.} Oh.

{I think Deadpool deserves a round of Applause for that through drubbing he handed Bullseye.} Agreed. [Oh you're too kind. Do I get a shiny award and a chance for a speech?] {Sure, step up on the footstool over there and say your peace.} *whispering* Should we tell him Norman Osborn didn't actually pay him that money? {Why ruin his mood?} But he shot himself at the end of the issue! {At least he's not embarking on another pointless vendetta against Osborn.} [. . . And I'd like to let all my tacos know that I'm a changed man, and I'll never - What do you mean pointless?] {Wade, breakout star of the Wolverine movie, and current holder of two ongoing series or not, Marvel isn't going to let you take down Norman Osborn over your desire for him to pay what he owes. Remember how they let Sabretooth kill Vanessa? They didn't let you kill Vic in revenge. Nope they let Wolverine do it in some godawful piece of garbage Loeb wrote. It's the unfortunate way of things.} It'll be OK Wade. [Hmm, I wasn't listening. Too busy thinking about how cool that move I pulled with the monster truck was, and his mouth was running like the Energizer Bunny, so I tuned him out. Say, you guys going to smack Bullseye one?] Well, you did a pretty good job of that already, but I guess I could. [Great. When you do, slap this Post-It with a giant "L" on it on his forehead. It'll be funny. *leaps out window*] {ABP, I would advise against that action.} Gee, really? I'm not stupid.

I'm giving the I'thians Hugs because they lost another world. {Hey, like Bill said, at least they're still alive to mourn losing another world. Provided Stardust doesn't get in one of its moods, track them down and kill them for spite.} What?! {Relax, I'm sure that won't happen.} Well, Stardust is getting a Bonk anyway, for enjoying its job too much. Beta Ray Bill gets a Bonk because I don't like how he's doing things. {So it would be better to fight a likely losing battle alongside the I'thians against the Devourer of Worlds?} Uh, maybe?

I Have No Idea How This Would Play Out, But I'd Like To See It

In War of Kings #4, Talon shows Emperor Vulcan how the Hierarchy of Raptors are helping Vulcan out. Namely, they've supplied Blastaar with a Cosmic Control Rod, which he's used to open a portal from the Negative Zone into the regular universe, and he's leading his troops against Ravenous's and his little empire*. For whatever reason**, Ravenous had declared war on the Shi'ar, and given Vulcan was already picking a fight with the Kree and anyone else within range, the Shi'ar really can't handle yet another challenger.

First off, I like that Blastaar's doing this. He had an arrangement with Ronan, who helped get Blastaar back to the Negative Zone and conquer it, in exchange for, I guess, keeping Ravenous from getting any more troops from the Zone, and thus not being able to resume hostilities with the Kree. Except, as Blastaar explained to Star-Lord, Blastaar and Ronan both know it was a temporary alliance, and if was only a matter of time and opportunity before one back-stabbed the other. Blastaar simply found his opportunity first. So I dig that.

What really interests me is the idea Blastaar might look up Star-Lord. Peter did betray Blastaar when he was supposed to be helping lay seige to the Negative Zone prison. And when Blastaar expressed his displeasure with that, Peter and Jack Flag did shoot Blastaar in the face, which I doubt hurt him, but surely didn't improve the mangy ruler's disposition. Then the Guardians of the Galaxy arrived and teleported Peter and Jack out just as The Living Bomb Burst found them again***, thus inflicting further Vergeltung Unterbrechung**** on the angry, furry guy.

Well now Blastaar's in Star-Lord's home universe, with his Negative Zone army, and his own cosmic control rod. Assuming Talon is right, and Ravenous' bunch will be toast in a week, Maybe Blastaar could take a little time to look up his betrayer, Star-Lord? Considering the Guardians will have probably just finished (or will still be) skirmishing with all those angry Imperial Guardsmen and Inhumans that popped up in Knowhere last month, that could be a pretty rough battle. Which means it would probably be a really fun battle, too.

* For those not up on their Cosmic Marvel, Ravenous was the equivalent of Annihilus' Herald, and roughly as powerful as one. With Annihilus dead, and his offspring still just a infant, Ravenous is serving as a regent over the territories Annihilus' forces gained in Annihilation, which includes half of what used to be the Kree Empire.

** Maybe he figured the Shi'ar were so busy they were vulnerable. Maybe some of Vulcan's troops strayed into the wrong territory, though I get the impression the Shi'ar didn't actually instigate the fight with Ravenous. I don't see Ravenous caring that the Kree are under attack, unless he wants them to survive as a buffer between his realm and the Shi'ar.

*** "The Living Bomb Burst". That's a pretty cool nickname.

**** That's German for "Retribution Interruption". I was gonna type, "Retributionus Interruptus", but I thought that looked stupid, so hey kids, bilinguality!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

So at the end, Logan wants to know what's being done with Victor, and the government guy says 'We have top men working on him', and when Logan asks who, they say 'Top men'. Then the camera switches and we see they've put Victor in a crate and are going to stash him in a warehouse full of crates of . . . stuff. Like Howard the Duck, and Rom, and those little bags of greasy, extremely unhealthy french fries you could put in the microwave to cook that I so loved as a kid.

What, we're past the "fake wolverine spoiler" thing everybody was doing on twitter yesterday? Fine, whatever. I don't care.

Before we get to the movie, a question: For those of you who've seen the Transformers 2 trailer in theaters, did it run upside and from end to start for you? It did that at the theater last night, and everyone else seemed real annoyed, but I thought it might be a deliberate stunt. You know, the studio saying "Hey, did that look intriguing? Would you like to actually be able to tell what was happening? Then come see Transformers 2 when it comes out in theaters!" Probably just human incompetence, though.

OK, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. There'll probably be spoilers. As we left the theater, Coworker A asked what we thought. Coworker B responded with a shrug and "eh". A's feeling was it was better than he expected. My response was it was as good as I expected, which really isn't saying too much. Oh, there were scenes I enjoyed, mostly the more comically oriented ones*, but it didn't surprise me with it's quality the way Iron Man did (I go into pretty much all comics-adapted-for movies expecting the worse. Batman & Robin taught me that).

My problem with the movie is I'm not sure it can figure out what it wants to be. There are moments of comedy, such as when Logan needs information out Dukes, who has let himself go since their little squad disbanded**. There's a moment where Logan is trying to bring down someone up on a fire escape, and he's cut the supports, and as the ladder descends, he's just hacking through it, and his arms move so fast I thought of the Tasmanian Devil. You know, Bugs Bunny is up a tree, thinking he's safe, and it would start shrinking, and there's Taz at the bottom just taking huge bites out of the trunk, one after another. The scenes feel at odds with some of the more serious aspects of the film. I think the movie very much wants us to feel bad for Logan, who finds happiness, then loses it as part of some convoluted scheme, and people he comes into contact with all seem to suffer while he survives. But then you interject the scene where's he's inspecting his new metal claws, and has some "accidents" in the bathroom. Hey, I laughed, really enjoyed that scene, but doesn't it work in opposition to the overall tone of the film?

I know melodrama is a staple of the X-Universe, but I think they could have toned it down at times, some James/Logan's bellows of grief were a bit over the top. Perhaps a silent look of agony would have worked better? I just don't perceive Wolverine as a guy who is vocal with his distress, as he would rather let his actions do the talking. Also, I could do without Young James' howl of rage. Actually, anytime someone tried for bellowing/roaring, I winced a little. Maybe a low snarl would have worked better?

Ryan Reynolds - vastly underutilized***. He seems to have a good sense of humor, he has solid timing, you've cast him as character who loves to talk, match made in heaven. I very much enjoyed the early part of the film where he was in it. Then he vanished, then he showed up again and**** I understand the in-story reason why he wouldn't be able to talk, having been previously alluded to, but it just seems a waste. Of course, having a Wade Wilson similar to his comic book self would have further undercut the serious tone of the film - and this way readily demonstrates the lengths Stryker will go to -, but like I said, I think the movie had already done that.

Two scenes that prompted amusement. First, SPOILER! there's a point where Logan appears prepared to end this thing with Victor, when Gambit arrives and screws things up (not really meaning to save Victor, it just works out that way). Because that's what Gambit does, screw things up, right legions of Gambit hating people? Anyway, it leads to a Gambit/Wolverine fight, even though they aren't enemies. Yes, it's a Classic Marvel Misunderstanding Battle! I don't know that we've truly had one of these in a Marvel movie. I guess Elektra vs. Daredevil, or perhaps Iron Man vs. the Air Force, but really, you can't have a Marvel comic movie with more than two characters that are heroes in the comics, where there isn't a misunderstanding battle, can you? Really, I didn't care that much about the fight scene, but when that occurred to me, I smiled to myself.

Second, after Logan has escaped survived the Adamantium process where we see an old couple driving their old truck through farm country. Seeing them, I thought they might do a parody of Superman's story. How the old couple find a rocket ship with a baby inside. Only instead of a baby in a ship, this old couple was going to find pantsless Logan washed up on a riverbank. It didn't quite work out that way, but again, I smiled at the idea.

Now, who put their Cyclops in my Wolverine movie?!! I'm watching a Wolverine movie to not see Cyclops! *Pauses, looks around* Nobody's going to make a 'Then you should have watched X-3' joke? Nobody? Adorable Baby Panda? *looks at ABP*

ABP: Mmm, hwmelske!

Oh, ABP, they've taken your mouth too? How horrible!

ABP: No, I had a mouth full of peanut butter. You want me to choke?

OK, enough pitiful attempts at humor. Moving forward. I think I'm in the "attempts to address points raised by other reviews" section. OK, one review questioned the idea of Victor feeling a need to one-up Logan, a need which apparently only intensified after Logan left the group. True enough, there wasn't much sign of that until Wraith mentioned it to Logan, unless all the rampant killing in various wars, which Victor seemed to really enjoy, was part of it. My guess is that the rivalry has been there since SPOILER! James/Logan killed their mutual father. I got the impression Victor was planning on doing that - someday - and James just up and did it. Lost his temper and stabbed the guy, thus robbing Victor of his chance, and he's been trying to make up for that ever since. That's weak though, so I would agree that Victor felling he had to surpass Logan was out of left field.

Second, Roger Ebert questioned why we're supposed to care about Logan, if seemingly nothing can kill him. I think he probably has a point. Even when Logan's supposed to be grief-stricken, I have a hard time telling if his actions are motivated by that, or if he just wants to tear some people up. He certainly didn't shy from violence previously. Which might be something the audience can connect with. There are times I sure all of us would prefer to use violence to deal with those around us, but I'm not sure it's the best way to go, assuming they were trying that.

I think the opportunity missed was to show that yes, Logan can heal from basically anything, so he's functionally unkillable, but that doesn't mean he can't be hurt. I know that I've sustained a few injuries in my time which, while not life-threatening, hurt quite a bit. You probably have as well. Now imagine you get shot in the lung. That's probably quite painful, and depending on the available medical service, possibly fatal. But now you're Logan. You get shot in the lung. Surprise, you have a healing factor, so it absolutely isn't fatal******, but still, you just got shot in the lung. It might only take a few minutes for your body to repair itself, but until then, one of your lungs has collapsed, breathing is impaired, you're bleeding internally. That has to hurt a lot, doesn't it? Even if you can tell yourself that it'll be over in a few minutes, those have to be some long minutes. Because it won't kill you, you'll get back up, go back to the battle*******, and probably get wounded all over again. Most people only sustain one fatal injury in their lives; Logan will sustain dozens, and just keep going forward, whether he wants to or not. That's a world of pain, isn't it?

But that's not a route the movie chooses to go. Logan and Victor get shot, and essentially shrug it off. They hardly break stride. I'm not talking about in the midst of a berserker fury either. they're in a battle, but in sufficient control to be aware of each other and work together, and catching a huge lead slug in the chest barely fazes them.

So I can't say X-Men Origins: Wolverine was a good movie. There are scenes I enjoy, that I would probably watch many times over, but I don't think they comprise even half the film. I'm not sure it was worth the $7.25, or the hour and a half of driving to get to the theater.

* That's pretty typical for me, as some of my favorite parts of the Die Hard and Indiana Jones movies are the little funny moments, amidst the action.

** Actually, that's another thing I was unclear on. Logan left, so did the rest of the group just fall apart without him? It didn't seem as though he was that popular, to the point his absence would cause it all to collapse.

*** There was a time - probably immediately after I first saw Van Wilder - where I couldn't have conceived of saying that.

**** That was something else I wasn't clear on. Did Wade agree to the procedure he went through? If so, why? Did he agree without knowing how far they were going? Did Victor kill him, so they could use his body? 'Cause Stryker was typing commands into a laptop that apparently sent signals***** to Deadpool, which suggests his brain might not be there anymore.

***** And speaking of those typed signals, for future reference "behead" probably works just as well as "decapitate". Better actually, since it's a shorter word, and therefore takes less time to type. I'm just saying, is all.

****** They never address it, but I guess when he or Victor is shot, they're body forces the bullet out, or their healing factor includes some sort of compound (antibody?) that breaks the bullet down almost instantaneously. Or they dug them out later. Because otherwise, they still have a bullet lodged in their chest, and that would cause health complications for quite some time.

******* Even if they went that way, there'd be the argument, that Logan should just get out of fighting. Though I could argue that 1) someone has to keep Victor moderately under control, and 2) when Logan tried the quiet life, external forces wouldn't let him keep it.

Smatterings Of This And That

These are, as far as I know, unrelated, and none of them really merit their own post, so I'll just toss them all together.

- I've been thinking of the word "circumvent" lately. In the most specific sense, how I would attempt to depict it in Pictionary, which I played with some of the housemates a couple weeks ago. Except "circumvent" never cam up, and a lot of the times, it's not even that, the word just pops into to my mind, no connection to whatever else I was mulling over.

- I was listening to some music earlier this afternoon, on my Pandora Avant Garde Jazz station. The thing I feel like I notice about a lot of the songs is the background instruments that only come in occasionally, and how a lot of times I think they're actually a random noise from my surroundings. One of the songs I was listening to had something in the background that I thought was the blinds smacking against the window frame. I find that kind of distracting, but maybe it would be less so if I weren't listening to the music while reading blogs. Maybe jazz demands/requires my full attention to work.

- Problem with pleasant spring days like today is that the wasps are out, and they keep flying in my window. No, there's no screening, and no, that's not my fault. I don't really have anything against wasps, since they don't seem interested in stinging me, but if I let them hang out in here, next thing you know they're building nests, and with lots of wasps, the possibility I unintentionally rile them up and get stung increases, so I've had to kill three intruders already. Or was it four? I've been at this so long, the deaths have all started to blur together. . .

- Dream last night involved Peter Parker in prison, acting as a hitman for the Kingpin. Despite being in prison, was able to wear a John Travolta style Saturday Night Fever, white jacket and pants over a black shirt combo, accessorized with an Uzi on a strap slung over his shoulder outside the jacket. Subtle, Pete. Also, Pete walked up to some person (the guy he was meant to kill?) and said 'Fat Eddie's back', and he was referring to himself. Furthermore, it looked as though it was drawn by Frank Miller, circa his work on Daredevil.

- Still an improvement from the preceding dream, where I was engaged in a rooftop rifle shootout with John Malkovich's character from In The Line of Fire. Considering that "Booth" was more than a match for Clint Eastwood, I guess my dream self should feel lucky he didn't get shot, and stopped Booth from killing whoever it was he was after this time.

- Did anyone else see the article on Todd Marinovich in Esquire? That was some kind of crazy stuff, especially his story about the guy who injured himself in a pickup game, then started dying when Todd gave him some heroin for the pain, and Todd swears he could see the guy's spirit leaving his body. I agree with the person I saw discussing it on Deadspin: at least Marinovich isn't trying to blame anyone else for the less than exemplary path his life has taken. It seems like I should feel worse for him, but it seems like he did so much of it to himself, and I have friends who had worse hands dealt to them, that handled them better, it's kind of hard. Be nice if he could actually get himself straightened out and stay that way long enough to help some people avoid the way he went

Let Me Put My Huckster Hat On

It occurs to me I have been remiss in my duties. We're only two weeks away from the 2009 Cape Girardeau Comic Convention, and I haven't plugged it once so far. Somehow, I'm sure you are all to blame for this.

OK, you're probably not to blame. It's on me. So, you know, come to the convention. I know it's short notice, but it'll be fun. There's more info at the website. Hmm, lacks enthusiasm. Hang on, let me try again, and channel my inner Stan Lee this time. I hope you appreciate this because they say every second of channeling your inner Stan Lee costs you one minute of your life*. It's just too much power for ordinary mortals to control safely.

*takes deep breath*

Guten Tag, Loyal Readers! Are you ready for the Greatest, Most Incredible Convention of Our Times? This one has everything: Comics! Guests! People in elaborate and probably impractical costumes! You might just see the Impossible Man walking Rex the Wonder Dog on a leash**! It's craziness of the Groovy Girardeau Genre, the likes of which you won't find anywhere else! And a ticket is only $5 for a day! Five dollars?! Can you deny the irresistible pull of such a fantastic deal?! The fact I called it "irresistible" ought to give a hint as to the answer to that question! In fact, let me repeat that: The pull is IRRESISTIBLE. It's fun the likes of which you won't equal anywhere else! Be there, Faithful Followers!

*gasping, wheezing* Well, I think that was about 5 hours shaved off my life. Hey, it takes longer for me to come up with it than it does for you to read it, you know. Ugh, I feel a little logy. Costermongering*** just isn't my style. And no, I'm not being paid for this. I mean, would you pay for that paragraph? Maybe I needed a paid testimonial from Deadpool. Or would that get me sued? Eh, he's busy in the future right now.

Anyway, like I said, the convention's in two weeks, the 25th and 26th. I know it's not a lot of notice, but I'm sure you can find a way, if you believe. Just clap your hands if you believe, and maybe tap your heels together while you're at it, and I know you'll find a way. Heck, while I'm at it, I'll mention the town of Charleston (which is about 40 minutes south of Cape) is having their Dogwood Azalea festival the weekend before the convention. I don't know what all that entails, but if your interests include landscaping and horticulture, as well as comics, then maybe you ought to just take a week long vacation. Just throwing it out there.

OK, I'm sure the panda will be along tomorrow.

* Warning: Channeling of your inner Stan Lee may cause severe damage to respiratory system, including spontaneous collapse of the lungs, and abrupt accordianation of the larynx. May also rupture duodenum or shatter ribs. Always remember to stretch and take several deep breaths before utilizing your inner Stan Lee. If you begin coughing up blood, please contact emergency services immediately.

** Depending on the venue's pet restrictions.

*** Thanks, Thesaurus.com!