A Tale of Two Halves of a Trade

Damn, I miss Unbeatable Squirrel Girl.

I heard pretty much nothing but good things about All-New Wolverine, the solo title where Laura Kinney (X-23) took over being Wolverine after Logan was dead for awhile. This was of course undercut by Marvel throwing as many other knockoff Wolverines out there at one time as possible, but that isn't this book's fault.

Volume 1 is kind of pricey (even with the new Omnibus available now), so I started with volume 2. Which is, naturally, a tie-in to Civil War II: Dumbass Boogaloo. Fortunately, only half of the six issues really deal with that, and those are, as you'd imagine, the crappier half.

That half follows the predictable pattern. The kid, Ulysses, sees a vision of something terrible happening. SHIELD tries to mobilize to stop it, and in turn, bring it about. The main characters yell at them for being dumbasses. 

In this case, Old Man Logan, the Wolverine from that shitty ripoff of Unforgiven Mark Millar wrote that one time that Marvel simply will not let die, is supposed to kill Gabby, the delightful clone of X-23 that Laura has adopted as her little sister. Captain America shows up (I assume this is HYDRA Cap, although Secret Empire is still several months away), Laura and Gabby object, and try to help the old man escape. He gets shot with a laser, then a bunch of tranq darts, and stabs Gabby when she tries to calm him down. Good thing she's a clone of someone with an actual healing factor and stabbing is a mild inconvenience. Granting Laura somehow hadn't figured that out, but what a waste of time.

The only interesting part of it is this Logan actually thinks he did a good job raising his Laura, and hates Gabby because the version from his timeline took Laura away. With that attitude, I'm guessing she didn't have to try very hard. No matter the timeline, Logan will fuck up his interpersonal relationships because he never learned sharing is caring. Laura tells him to stay the hell away, or else, because she's now dead certain he's not her Logan. Eh, closer than you think, kid. And I know he pops up again two stories later during a crisis.

Anyway, that's more time than that shit deserved.

 

The good half is the first three issues, kicking off with a team-up with the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Laura has committed crimes against the squirrels, and must make restitution. Which means helping to find a father squirrel she stuck a tracking device on, who has now vanished. Also, she made some people crash their car into the squirrels' tree home, knocking it down. 

Civil War III: Back For More Cash will be the squirrels deciding they're taking over our homes and exiling us to the trees, like the dolphins in that one Simpsons Halloween Special. I, for one, welcome our squirrel overlords. Get yourself a leader who eats nuts, instead of being nuts.

Doreen is cheerful and singing as always, except when she's serious, and she even brings a housewarming gift. An actual wolverine named Jonathan she rescued from a lab when she was rescuing squirrels. She's a little put out Laura can't speak to, sorry, understand wolverines, but Gabby loves him, so it's all good. Gabby's assessment: 'I will walk him and feed him and dress him up in fine suits and build little cities out of cardboard for him to tear through like some hairy, giant, formally attired monster.' 

Laura is fortunately new enough at being a big sister to think there's nothing wrong with having a wolverine for a pet.

After that, Laura is called in by SHIELD because an entire team went missing, and so did the person they first sent looking. Which would be Old Man Logan (hence him being around for the CW2 stuff). As it turns out, the SHIELD team was trying to interrupt a weapons buy, and the weapon is a pheromone. Not the one that sends Laura into a killing frenzy, but one that puts a certain dragon in the mood for love.

Yes, a Fin Fang Pheromone. I love how absolutely ridiculous that is. Gabby's assessment: 'So this is like when a giant rampaging lizard and a flying aircraft carrier love each other very much. . .' That kid is the best. 

Laura figures out Logan must be inside the dragon, which is how you get her diving inside. I'm not sure if we're meant to deduce he was swallowed because he's a klutz, or he got swallowed because that's where the trail led and he hoped some of them survived. The former probably, but he's an old man, he might have got confused and thought the giant dragon was a diner selling a Early Bird Special.

Iron Man and Captain Marvel show up, but since Civil War II hadn't officially started, there's no sniping at each other yet. The only awkward moment is when Tony states he has a lot of experience sterilizing rooms, and Carol and Laura are both disgusted. Which is totally understandable, so I stand corrected, Civil War III will be about Tony's tendency to overshare.

Sunday Splash Page #136

"Mass Dumbassery is More Like It", in Deadpool (vol. 4) #17, by Gerry Duggan (writer), Mike Hawthorne (penciler), Terry Pallot (inker), Jordie Bellaire (colorist), Joe Sabino (letterer)

The previous volume of Deadpool ended because of Secret Wars. Because the Avengers, as written by Jonathan Hickman, are useless and didn't fix the Incursion mess. The book was naturally immediately restarted, and Duggan took the opportunity to make Deadpool massively popular in-universe, becoming a pop culture and merchandising sensation.

Popular enough to franchise his likeness and hire 4th tier characters like those schmucks up there to dress up like as act as the "Mercs for Money" (Murdock sued him on behalf of Luke Cage to prevent the use of "Heroes for Hire"). Popular enough to bankroll Old Man Steve Rogers' Unity Squad Avengers team. The funny thing is this run actually started about 4 months before the first Deadpool movie came out.

The first 35 issues of this run are Wade starting out at the absolute best place he's ever been, and then steadily losing it all. His mercs grow increasingly angry with him as he stiffs them on their paychecks. Which he's doing because Avengers are expensive, and Wade, trying to live up to Captain America's belief in him, is throwing every cent he's got into the team. 

The sad thing about the run is, Deadpool is trying really hard to actually be a hero, be an Avenger, be better, and fails completely. His mercs leave, his wife gets frustrated and starts taking other lovers. And, you know, declaring war on the surface world. He loses track of Michael the necromancer and Ben Franklin's ghost until he needs them for a tie-in to a Dr. Strange event, then loses both of them. He tried to reach out to Madcap, who he thought was alone and sad, but it's too late. The damage Wade did in the past was too much.

The high point of this portion of the run is the Civil War II tie-ins, surprisingly. Because Duggan and Hawthorne just take the piss on the entire stupid thing. Every issue is Wade getting into some pointless fight that could have been resolved if people had just talked about it reasonably. And it gives us Wade dropping the Macho Man flying elbow on the Black Panther, and them hitting each other with toilets.

And then, of course, there was that whole thing where a sentient Cosmic Cube somehow got used to make it so Steve Rogers was always loyal to HYDRA. By the time Wade realizes things are wrong and he shouldn't trust Captain America, he's in too deep, and everyone's using him as Example #1 of how they should have known something was wrong with Rogers all along.

(Just for the record, the Cosmic Cube thing was Maria Hill's fault, as she'd tried to use it to alter villains' minds, and it got turned around on the heroes. She's the worst. Even Gyrich doesn't fuck things up as spectacularly as she does.)

What I Bought 8/6/16 - Part 1

I did manage to grab a few of my comics in a nearby town while I was visiting my dad, but I already had a bunch of posts scheduled, so we're just getting to them now. Considering today's selection is Civil War II tie-ins, I'm sure you're fine with waiting.

Deadpool #16, by Gerry Duggan (writer), Mike Hawthorne (penciler), Terry Pallot (inker), Jordie Bellaire (colorist), Joe Sabino (letterer) - Squirrel Girl's riff on Spidey's theme song is better than Wade's version of Captain America's.

Wade winds up trapped in the bank vault with the Mercs, rather than blowing them up and doing me a favor. So instead we learn what Solo did while disguised as Deadpool that made everyone love Wade: He saved an ambassador from assassination. But it turns out the whole thing was a set-up by Madcap to frame Wade as the assassin, it just didn't work out that way. And Madcap's attached to someone - probably Adsit - while he plots and regenerates.

When I do my Year in Review posts, I also use it as an opportunity to find books from that year's purchases that aren't going to make it into the larger collection. This issue is definitely one of those. For one thing, I think the people of Earth-616 (or whatever it's number is now) would be more impressed by Wade wiping out ULTIMATUM than saving one ambassador. Yes, it helped said ambassador and the U.S. President end a war, but was it a war the U.S. was actively involved in? If not, then I doubt the public would care. Also, do people not remember Wade had a teleportation device he carried around for years? Solo acts like it's some big deal he can teleport.

Let's see, positive things. The art on those last two pages, the ones in the woods with Madcap and his host. Good work all around by Bellaire, Hawthorne, and Pallot. I especially like the effect of headlights against the shadows of the trees. Also, Wade's scowling determined face in the final panel of the page before that. Hawthorne and Pallot do a really good job making Wade expressive through that mask in a way that still makes it seem like he is wearing something over his face. On the writing side, Wade complaining about people thinking he liked Mexican food to the point of Tourette's was funny. You know how these rumors take on a life of their own Wade. You keep insisting you're a mutant, and the next thing you know your movie says you are, too.

Ms. Marvel #9, by G. Willow Wilson (writer), Adrian Alphona (artist, pages 1-3), Takeshi Miyazawa (artist, pages 4-20), Ian Herring (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Come on, Kamala, you just had someone spray paint "traitor" all over posters of you six issues ago. You should know how that can be hurtful.

So Josh really was intending to do something that would knock out the power of the school. I had assumed it would be a science lab accident, but no. He was sad that Zoe broke up with him, but she explains she's actually interested in Nakia, and Josh is understanding. But he's still locked up, with Ms. Marvel's OK, until the time when he was going to cause trouble has past. Which earns her a rebuke from Nakia, and prompts Bruno to decide he's going to spring Josh himself, but he only succeeds in nearly blowing himself up.

It won't surprise you to learn the various tie-ins are not on the same page in this crossover. Deadpool had Ulysses state that he really only sees big tragedies - like Thanos coming to earth for a Cosmic Cube, or an earthquake - but here he's been warning them about convenience store robberies. Some things never change. I'm a little surprised how quickly the teen brigade Carol saddled Kamala with have gone foll police state, even immediately questioning if Ms. Marvel is emotionally compromised for knowing Josh, but I was very "no shades of grey" at that age, with accompanying blind spots, not to mention stupid in general, so maybe it's not surprising. Probably realistic that Kamala hasn't yet given up entirely on the idea. At this point her concern is that her squad is being overzealous, but she doesn't seem to have decided there's anything hinky about this whole thing. So hopefully it'll be a process, although you would think all her friends and family pointing how bad an idea it is would start to sink in. I mean, it didn't for Tony Stark in the first Civil War, but Kamala generally doesn't have her head lodged up her own butt like Tony does.

Miyazawa's art is excellent, as usual. I need to see the remainder of that newspaper headline in the paper Kamala's dad is reading. The raccoon escaped the zoo, but what did it eat all of? Doughnuts? Pizza? Strawberries? Why does Josh have rubber chickens in his cell? And I notice that when Kamala embiggens herself, she's making her fists even larger, out of proportion to the rest of her. Does it mean she's thinking with those and not her head, or that she's trying to maintain control and authority through force, rather than reason. I notice that when Becky and the cadets are arguing with Bruno, Nakia, and Zoe, Kamala doesn't try to enter into the conversation and discuss it. She gets big, then starts telling people what to do. And the cadets are under her command, and Nakia and Zoe don't know she's their friend (although I suspect Nakia actually does know, she's not an idiot), but Kamala's generally not resorted to that sort of thing unless provoked, rather than as a first response.

What I Bought 7/26/2016 - Part 2

We're going with the other two Marvel books. One is doing its best to incorporate changes the event is bringing to its supporting cast, the other is mostly taking a piss on the whole stupid thing. Which is truly the most noble act of all.

Deadpool #15, by Gerry Duggan (writer), Mike Hawthorne (penciler), Terry Pallot (inker), Jordie Bellaire (colorist), Joe Sabino (letterer) - I went with the Scott Koblish variant again. Wade kills Justice Peace and the rest of the Time Variance Authority, and makes the UGC code help him bury their corpses. Sorry, he lets the UGC code help bury the bodies. Big difference (according to Wade).

Wade breaks into Ultimates' HQ because he says he wants to kill Ulysses (he's narrating out loud on the assumption Ulysses can hear him in his visions), but since the kid didn't actually have a vision of Wade doing that, that must mean the kid is full of crap, right? Maybe. Wade is more interested if Ulysses saw anything about Wade's daughter, which he hadn't, so Wade starts to leave. And gets blocked by T'Challa, who behaves like a douche, and they fight. For really no reason. OK, Wade may have spoiled Game of Thrones, and he was leaving an upper-decker in their bathroom, but they were fighting before that happened. T'Challa even says Steve Rogers may have been brainwashed if he trusts Deadpool. Says the guy who was on a super-secret team with Namor and alcoholic butthole Tony Stark, that failed in its mission to save the universe, so cram it, T'Challa.

Also the Mercs have learned Wade has a safety deposit box in a bank in Jersey, and go there to burn their contracts so they can be their own team. But they suck at stealth, Ulysses saw them on a newsfeed, he told Wade before the fight started, and now Wade's going to try and kill them all. Unless that was Madcap, posing as Wade again. I don't believe it is, though.

The whole thing is a farce, but that's roughly how much respect I have for Civil War 2 myself, so that's fine. I really enjoyed the fight. Wade pretty much gets whooped anytime he tries to fight conventionally in it, but when he starts getting weird, he does better. The portion of the fight on pages 10 and 11 is very nice. Hawthorne does an excellent job of showing the progression of it, the back and forth, with moves being started in one panel, and then finishing in the next. I especially liked when wade launches a flying headbutt at T'Challa while he's trying to backflip away from Wade. That was Raphael's special move in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3; The Manhattan Project. Maybe next issue Wade will use Leo's spinning swords move, or Mikey's kangaroo kicking attack thing.

I'm a little surprised at T'Challa's behavior. Wade is actually trying to leave, he didn't kill the kid, he just wants to stop off in the men's room, just let him go. That's what people usually want, for Deadpool to leave their vicinity. But that's point, right? It's a big event so everyone has to act more stupid and belligerent than usual. And we get to see the Black Panther take a toilet upside the head, and actually respond to being kicked in the junk, by kicking Wade in the junk right back. Participation in this event has cost everyone their dignity. Fantastic.

Patsy Walker, aka Hellcat #8, by Kate Leth (writer), Brittney L. Williams (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (colorist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Such a sad cover, given the context.

Patsy had a feeling something has happened to Jennifer Walters, and she's right, because here's America Chavez to tell Patsy She-Hulk's in a coma, and to bring her to see her friend. Though the medical staff are insensitive jerks. Where's the bedside manner? Patsy and her friends are all very sad, and this causes some difficulties for the landlord of Patsy and Jen's office space, so she asks Patsy to temporarily move her office into Jen's. And Jubilee, still a vampire, is joining the cast apparently. I wonder if she still has that baby she basically stole from the wreckage of a destroyed hospital in Eastern Europe? Shogo, or whatever his name was?

It feels bizarre to have Patsy switching offices when she literally moved into that one about two issues ago, but it works as part of the way these sorts of big, crazy events, throw people's lives into chaos. Patsy is deliberately trying to stay out of big superhero stuff. She doesn't care about Ulysses or any of that. But it can still cause problems. Friends get hurt, or die. Then there are complications arising from that, which have to be dealt with at a time when you really don't want to have to deal with them.

 Can't believe that mugger actually wanted to fight Patsy and Jen. It's She-Hulk, and he is some French-speaking guy with a knife. This was never gonna end well for him.

I liked how Williams drew Howard the Duck's beak more this issue than the last time he showed up. Much closer to a real duckbill. Also, I think Williams uses a thinner line when she draws more serious scenes. The weight of the line Patsy's drawn with in the panel on page 9 when she's looking at the picture is a lot different from the one of Jennifer getting ready to fastball special Patsy on page 13. I'm not certain why take that approach. Maybe the lighter lines are just better for more subdued scenes. The character doesn't bound off the page by being so sharply outlined from the surroundings.

I do think Williams needed to draw the giant pizza as even larger. As big as it is, I still think I could eat it in one setting, though I'd hate myself after. And I don't have that big of a stomach, but it isn't quite daunting enough. So that's my one complaint with the art this issue. I really wouldn't have expected Williams' style to work so well for such a somber story, but she handled it well. I think Rosenberg went with colors that weren't quite as bright as Megan Wilson normally does, which might have helped, too. Not positive about that, might just be letting a few panels influence my perception there, but it didn't seem quite as vivid. In a good way, like there's a dark cloud hanging over everything.

It's Been A Week, Let's Discuss This

I figure by this point that you've either seen or heard about last week's Civil War II issue, or you don't care. But, just in case, this deals with some of what happened there, so if you are trying to remain unspoiled, come back for tomorrow's post. I mean, it'll be a review of another book about World War II, but it won't spoil this comic for you.

OK, everybody good? Fantastic.

Clint Barton killed Bruce Banner. Ulysses said Banner was going to become the Hulk again and kill a bunch of people, all the heroes rushed over there. Banner, while insisting he can't become the Hulk anymore (and I think the week before, Totally Awesome Hulk did a whole issue just about the fact Banner can't become Hulk any longer, full stop), got progressively freaked out about all this, and it turned out he'd given Clint some special arrow months ago, just in case he did turn back. Clint says he saw Bruce's eyes turning green, he fired, he turned himself in. Here we are.

I will say this for Bendis: A lot of his characters may sound alike. He may have no ability to properly pace a story, meandering along at issues for a time before rushing a conclusion. He may promise one thing, then dawdle along for months or years without ever doing anything. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, despite all that, he is very consistent about wanting Clint Barton to kill people.

He had Clint get murderously angry during Secret Invasion, he somehow decided that Clint was the member of the New Avengers who would try to kill Boss of All Superheroes Norman Osborn. When Clint was on a team with Wolverine, Bucky Barnes, Carol Danvers, and Mockingbird, to name four characters all much more willing to go that route, historically. I vaguely remember him having Clint kill someone in House of M, or try to at least. And now this.

I'm not sure why Bendis is so hellbent on having Clint kill people, when, for much of his history, Clint was a vocal opponent to Avengers killing people, ever. His stubbornness on that point (along with some communication breakdowns and Clint's own belligerence) helped kill his marriage to Mockingbird. He convinced Abner Jenkins to turn himself in and go to prison over a murder Abe had committed. He was on Captain America's side about not killing the Supreme Intelligence in Operation Galactic Storm, whether it was an artificial intelligence or not. Bendis can accept a guy with a remarkable talent for archery can hang with the Avengers, but not that he can do so without killing people, even with a quiver full of trick arrows that can do pretty much anything you need them to do and the ability to hit basically any target he needs to, no matter how ludicrous. Or else he thinks someone having a rule against killing is silly, but he seems to let Spider-Man stick to it (pun not intended, but not objected to either).

After Bendis left the Avengers books, I felt there was a small pushback from a few other writers to reassert Clint's anti-killing stance. Remender had Clint be adamant Avengers don't kill in Secret Avengers, and for all my issues with Fraction and Aja's Hawkeye book, at the end, they did have Clint defeat the sad clown assassin guy without killing him (though I'm not sure Clint avoided a body count up to that point). It seemed to get buried a bit under the portrayal of Clint as kind of a moron (rather than a fairly clever guy who happens to be hotheaded and impulsive too), but it was there. Now this.

On the positive side, Clint turned himself in immediately, so I assume he expects to face consequences and is prepared to do so. Which seems right for Hawkeye. I don't expect Bendis will do anything with it. He's thrown in the shocking moment, it'll fall to someone else to make something useful of it, and that's probably for the best.

As for Banner, it's another pointless death I can't see moving the needle with anyone. I guess it must, though. If it wasn't managing to goose sales temporarily, they wouldn't keep doing it, right? Seems like they could have done something with Banner, even without him being the Hulk. Confidant and helper to Amadeus Cho, consultant for the Avengers, action scientist, something. Or just let him rest for awhile.

And it's the usual Idiot Ball that dominates these things. If you're worried the Hulk will freak out, why send 10,000 superheroes to arrest him, which will probably freak him out? Pick someone calm he likes, preferably one who can get away quickly if need be, and let them talk to him. Like Dr. Strange. He and Banner go way back, Stephen's a calm guy, and he can magic himself away if need be. Just talk with Banner. If we assume Bendis is paying attention to other books, and Strange is still occupied with the war against magic, find someone else. Not Stark, he'd almost certainly foul it up, but there has to be someone. Keep some heavy hitters in the next county over if you really must.

What Qualifies As Improbable In The Marvel Universe?

The best I understand it, this Ulysses kid's brain runs all these probabilities to determine likely future catastrophes, and then he warns people about them. It's like psychohistory, but it actually can predict the actions of individuals, which is sort of crucial in a fictional setting where individuals can potentially destroy entire worlds. This has lead to much punching (or maybe it's still just arguing) about whether people should be getting prosecuted over things they are likely to do, but haven't necessarily done yet. The answer would seem to be obviously, "NO," but apparently not.

Beyond moral questions, I have to wonder how accurate this could really be.The Marvel Universe has multiple characters who have powers that alter probabilities such that things which would otherwise be exceedingly unlikely to happen, happen. Can Ulysses' power somehow account for the actions of people who, by the nature of their powers, should confound his?

Ulysses predicts the, I dunno, Rhino, will steal a gizmo that will cause the Atlantic Rift to open wide, dumping the entire Atlantic Ocean into the mantle, causing some sort of huge problem. This is a bad thing that heroes would reasonably want to prevent, but can Ulysses predict that Longshot's going to come plummeting out of the sky with a jetpack in front of the Rhino before he gets to the device, and he just so happens to have Rhino's dear, sweet mama, who Longshot rescued from an apartment fire without knowing who she was? And that this causes the Rhino to abandon his plan and take care of her, and the whole mess is averted? Even if there is a very small chance of that series of events taking place, Longshot's power set (or Domino's, or the Scarlet Witch's) means it's more likely than you'd expect, but I'm not sure if it would be in a way anyone could account for.

But even past people with powers that specifically mess with probabilities, the Marvel Universe is already a place where probabilities are out of whack. The things people survive that they shouldn't. The times some nutball cooks up a device that could actually, somehow, destroy the planet. The people who get exposed to radiation or dangerous chemicals and get powers instead of horrible diseases. The SIlver Surfer meeting Alicia Masters, and only then deciding to defy Galactus, and in the process, save the Earth.

Stuff that is exceedingly unlikely to happen, happens all the time. Ulysses being 99.9% sure "X" is going to happen doesn't mean a damn thing, because especially on Marvel Earth, that 0.1% possibility of something else happening in our world, is probably more like, what, a 25-40% there, simply because that's how crap works on that planet (and to a lesser extent, that universe as a whole). It's not necessarily to the point where what we'd consider improbable is the most likely outcome in the Marvel U., but it's certainly more likely than it would be here, simply because a lot of things happen there which can't happen here.

Maybe Ulysses' power adjusts for this somehow, though I'm not sure how that would work. "This thing that by all right should almost certainly not happen, actually has about a 1-in-3 chance of happening!" That just seems like it would break his brain. It doesn't invalidate the potential usefulness of his power entirely, but it certainly seems as though Carol Danvers and the rest ought to be taking it with a considerably larger grain of salt than they are.

A Rambling Review Of Captain America: Civil War

Civil War the movie is better than Civil War the comic event. An admittedly extremely low bar to clear. Yes, it's time to discuss Captain America: Civil War, and there will be spoilers if you haven't seen the film yet!

But I'm going to start with a question for the people who have seen it. And I guess this constitutes a spoiler, but I already warned you, so deal with it. When did Steve find out Bucky killed Tony Stark's parents? I know he found out in The Winter Soldier they were murdered, but I wasn't sure we were to take it as given Bucky was used for that specific act. Honestly, killing an elderly couple as they drive alone at night hardly requires a master brainwashed assassin. I know I got confused when Tony asks if Steve knew, and Steve admits he did, but opted not to tell Tony. And of course, Tony immediately tries to kill Bucky in an (understandable) rage, which possibly demonstrates not telling Tony was a good plan. Or that he should have told Tony earlier, when Thor or Rhodey were around to help restrain him.

This was, for me, the weakest of the three Captain America movies. Of course, it's closer to an Avengers film than a Captain America one, so perhaps not surprising. It was kind of nice to see Spider-Man (even if he was on Tony's side, again), but it felt shoehorned in. Stark drags him in for the fight, then he drops back out. I suppose Spidey could represent the sort of people who would be negatively affected by the Sokovia Accords: this kid, got powers by accident, just trying to help people, and now some vague UN council would get to tell him when and where he could and couldn't help people, might tell him he has to kill people, and doesn't really consider him a person so much as a weapon. Except, of course, they already had that going with Wanda.

But I suppose it helps highlight how bullshit Tony's support of the Accords is, since he bribes/extorts (he basically threatens to tell Aunt May if Peter doesn't go along, which is pretty shitty, but also pretty perfectly Tony Stark)  this kid into a fight against people who are trained soldiers and killers, without, you know, consulting anyone or getting authorization. We didn't see how it went down, but I assume Clint and Ant-Man were at least asked if they would be willing to help Cap out.

I do think we needed to see Steve made some sort of public comment on what happened in Lagos. Why didn't they involve local law enforcement? Were there time constraints, concerns about security leaks, something else? Steve tries to take responsibility when talking with Wanda, because she's a kid and he doesn't want her to be too hard on herself since she was trying to save lives (and I appreciated that scene). But it would have been good to see him making some kind of public acknowledgement of the fact things went, let's say sub-optimally. Or at least him talking to Stark or Natasha or someone about making that statement, if he didn't feel qualified. I feel like even if he feels his judgment is the best to determine when and where he uses his abilities, he'd still feel a sense of responsibility to the people he's trying to protect.

And look, you're not going to convince me that in the Marvel Universe, government registration or oversight is a good thing. I know Millar always argued we'd want it in our world, and he's probably right, although I'd argue large groups of people want things all the time, especially if it involves someone footing the bill, and that doesn't make it right. But the Marvel U. is not our world, no matter how much they try to make it our world, and there's a wealth of evidence in continuity that the once the government butts in, it starts going badly. Super-villains get the secret identities, or they get into positions of power, or you just get bigoted assholes, or incompetent dopes giving the orders.

Even in the relatively limited movie continuity, we just had a whole Captain America movie about how SHIELD was actually being manipulated by HYDRA, and there was no oversight to stop them (or the oversight was also HYDRA, like Shandling's Senator character). Or the mysterious board of Directors who tried to make Fury nuke New York, then just went around him when he refused. And there's nothing mentioned about who the Accords are going to put in place to keep an eye on the people keeping an eye on the Avengers. But the person they sent to deliver the news is Thunderbolt Ross, who gave a guy some untested sorta-Super Soldier Serum and helped create the Abomination. Certainly someone with moral authority to speak about behaving without oversight. As far as I know, Ross wasn't demoted or court-martialed for his nonsense, which including a massive firefight on a college campus.

So it's sort of an issue for the movie, because what makes a certain amount of sense in the real world, doesn't in the fictional one, and the two sides grate. I did think it was interesting that Steve seemed willing to go along with the Accords once he had brought Bucky in alive (and the fact the strike team was immediately going to "Kill" was hardly a ringing endorsement of this new world of oversight and authorizations), until Stark lets slip Wanda is a prisoner, because her powers are making her be considered not a person.

The movie was the seemingly bog-standard 2.5 hours, and it was noticeable. About the time Tony visits the underwater prison, I remember thinking, "How much longer is this thing going?" I think because there are so many threads in it, and the film shifts from one to another, I was more aware of how long it was going. I wasn't as drawn in. Probably because not every thread was of interest, so when we hit one of the boring ones, I got antsy.

I enjoyed a lot of the action sequences, the airport fight was cool. Chadwick Boseman as the T'Challa was pretty cool. He also has some understandable anger, but you can see him assessing what's going on, pulling information together. He's not just raging about, trashing everything. Really wish they had made Agent 13 Peggy's niece if they're going to do a romance thing between her and Steve. I think Chris Evans and Emily VanCamp have some decent chemistry, but yeah, maybe find another way to get her in the movie. I could do without the teasing of a possible Wanda/Vision thing, because I've never really been interested in that. Or maybe it's more accurate to say I've never been interested in the Vision? Kind of sad we didn't get more of Frank Grillo's Crossbones. Also, I have to imagine it isn't going to help Tony's PTSD that he thought Captain America was going to decapitate him with that shield for a moment.

There are a lot of little bits I liked. Bucky and Sam not liking each other, but both believing in Steve. Not all your friends are going to get along. Really enjoyed that airport fight scene, wanted to mention that again. Wanda driving Vision deep into the Earth. Stark mentioning how much he'd like to put Ross on hold, then getting to put Ross on hold. I feel as though I like Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye a little more each time I see him. He's not my Hawkeye exactly, but there's bits and pieces of him, and he's got a bit of that clever streak Hawkeye's supposed to have about knowing how to leverage his strengths.

I haven't said anything about Zemo, but he really didn't make much of an impression on me. He has this whole elaborate plan, and I don't know what he was going to do if say, Natasha had pursued Cap and Bucky to Siberia instead of Stark, and I don't know, it didn't work for me. Again, maybe there was too much other stuff. A more focused movie, maybe just Cap and Falcon trying to save Bucky, Zemo as a more central villain, rather than this guy who pops up as the Avengers catch their breath from punching each other, that might have worked. Also, didn't the film say he was part of Sokovian Death Squads? I guess I'm not sure how we're supposed to read him. As a stand-in for the innocent people who get hurt, but survive? The insufficiency of the Avengers, that they don't do enough, don't save enough? Or that they shouldn't be acting at all? Sokovia was destroyed because of Ultron, and Ultron was Stark's fault. The contrast with T'Challa is Zemo was consumed by his desire for revenge, while T'Challa draws back. So, understand his anger - so much understandable anger in this movie - but deplore his response?

I suppose I should be glad they didn't go the easy route of having the person trying to destroy the Avengers be some shadowy cabal of power players who think the superheroes threaten their death grip on things. I mean, there are people like that in the world, who have it all and want to make damn sure it all stays in their hands, but in this case, it might have been a little too pat. So they went with someone who is telling the Avengers, "Hey, you may have tried to your best to save innocent lives, but guess what? Your best wasn't good enough and fuck you." Might have been nice to see a counterpoint of people who still believed in the Avengers, but they seemed to want to have the team crack apart under external pressures (both governments and individuals), I guess so they can come back together when Thanos shows up and the world needs them.

What's going to happen to Clint's family? Or Scott Lang's daughter for that matter? Those two are on the run now, as part of Cap's A-Team (that seemed like the natural name after Steve's letter ended with you know how to get in touch with us). That's something I'd like to see at some point. That little group, traveling the country, handling threats as they find them. Maybe Natasha passes something along, maybe they pop up to help Spider-Man when the Sinister Six form. Either way, they do some good, more low-level, not planet-threatening problems, then vanish again.

As it is, I probably need to watch Civil War again at some point, but I don't think I'll be looking forward to that as eagerly as I was seeing Deadpool again.

I Didn't Even Touch On Apocalypse Or Kang's Effect On Ancient Egypt

One problem with the next Captain America movie being Civil War is there are lots of posts about it on Gawker and Uproxx sites, and those usually discuss the mini-series, and there are a more than a few of the writers - and a lot of the commenters - who are very pro-registration. Relax, I'm not doing another post on why that's stupid. Yet. This is actually an attempt to divert my brain onto a more interesting path.

I was thinking about how the registration thing is often presented as what would happen in our world, and how the Marvel Universe was meant to resemble our world, just with superheroes. The counter to that - as mentioned many times by many people other than me long before now - is that the Marvel Universe has a dozen things in it that really ought to have changed it to an extent we wouldn't recognize it. Pym Particles, Asgardians, Adamantium, Skrulls, time travel, Galactus, magic, mutants, on and on. Then I started thinking about differences in a socio-political sense, which got me thinking about how history on Earth-616 really ought to be different.

The one that really got me thinking about this was Latveria. Tiny Eastern European nation, but undeniably a world power, probably with a pretty high standard of living (but also a probably poor human rights' track record), and one of the most technologically advanced (certainly its military) nations in the world. You'd have to think Latveria tries to be a leader in any kind of worldwide agreements (be it about pollution, economic agreements, etc.) simply because Doom's ego wouldn't allow him to not try and take charge. And he has the brilliance and the resources that he couldn't be easily dismissed, no matter how awful he can be. I know in Doom's origin as originally conceived, it's run by a brutal, repressive, racist monarch (he's trying to expel/kill all the Romany, including Doom's family), until Doom comes back for revenge/liberation and seizes control.

But given when that was taking place, Doom almost certainly had to stave off the Soviets. Actually, it's probably likely Latveria was conquered by Germany during World War 2, then taken by the Soviets, and the monarch was either replaced, or made a puppet ruler of a Warsaw Pact nation. Doom comes in, takes over, ousts the Soviets. I'd imagine he had to fend off one attempt by the Red Army to retake the country. I say one, because I feel if they'd tried twice, Doom would have said "Enough of this foolishness!" and just started conquering the Soviet Union until they said uncle. I would imagine Doombots are weatherproof, so relying on "the worst winter in X years" as a stall tactic probably wouldn't work.

This all lead me to wonder what U.S. diplomatic relations with Latveria were like. I know the Fantastic Four were often on shaky ground to try striking back at Doom after his latest revenge attempt, because he was recognized as ruler of a country, but I don't know how friendly Latveria and the U.S. were. I'm sure his resistance to the Soviets would be something the U.S. would have enjoyed, and Doom probably wouldn't be the worst dictator the United States ever threw in with, but I can't see why he'd bother. He wouldn't want ideas about democracy and freedom infecting his populace, and he's generally presented as being scornful of American waste, pollution, and excess. Though I could see him playing the U.S. and USSR against each other.

I feel like Marvel traditionally addressed this by having the more unusual countries opt for isolation until recently. Atlantis, Wakanda, Attilan, they all mostly kept to themselves for centuries, I think, although I know Hudlin's Black Panther run showed Wakanda easily thrashed at least one 19th Century attempt at European imperialism.That at least accounts for world history not being vastly different at the start point of the story. But since superhero creative teams are rarely interested in writing entirely isolationist countries, even if they are into castle intrigue, the fictional countries inevitably become more involved in the wider world. With Atlantis, this has frequently taken the direction of Namor declaring war on the surface world. T'Challa is usually more diplomatic, but it also tends to be him interacting, while Wakanda remains aloof. I feel like Wakanda usually still withholds some of its advances, understandably in many cases.

Obviously part of all this is because the writers and artists aren't looking to deviate too much from our world. So if Wakanda develops a cheap, clean antigravity drive people could easily purchase for personal vehicles as well as large-scale shipping, they doesn't get implemented for one reason or the other. It's shift things too far from where the creative team (or their bosses) want things to be. So Cable establishes his own floating, artificial island, which welcomes everyone from any side of life, so they can collaborate and hopefully show how things can be, but it doesn't really get to change things in a way we can see. Instead we see the ways vested interests try to undermine it and if possible, wreck the whole thing.

Which I suppose could be an assertion about history in its own way. Certainly the idea already established powers will try to maintain their position on top by knocking down any up and comers isn't unusual. Same with the idea that a country can't remain isolated forever, although I don't know if Earth-616 has had the prominent example of the formerly powerful nation that sealed itself off and was passed by the rest of the world's advances, leading to a rude shock. Wakanda kept itself ahead of the rest of the world, and I think the same is true of Attilan. I don't believe Atlantis is shown as being an underdeveloped country, although its environment and the challenges that would present make for different enough circumstances a comparison might be difficult.

I don't have an endgame with these thoughts right now - big surprise! - I just got intrigued by the idea of the State Department approaching Doom with some spiel about being a bulwark against Communism, and Doom being completely uninterested in the transparent attempt to get him to be their puppet.

The Horrifying Return Of The "Civil War" Post Label

So Marvel's thinking about doing Civil War with their movies, starting it off or building it up in Captain America 3. Which makes me not want to see Captain America 3, something I wouldn't have considered possible after I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Such is the awe-inspiring revulsion of Civil War.

And the comics, never one to pass up a half-assed opportunity to synergize with their cinematic universe, may be planning to redo Civil War in the comics as well. Sigh. Look, it's not that there isn't a potentially interesting story in there, assuming you hand the job to someone other than Mark Millar. That doesn't mean it's a story I want to see redone. You're not going to convince me government oversight of superheroes is a good idea in a fictional universe where said government is routinely infiltrated by the Red Skull and Mystique, which gives a Cabinet post to a drunken former weapons dealer (Stark), when it isn't handing government agencies to complete psychopaths (Osborn). Given the way things are going these days, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't trust our government to have control of someone like Spider-Man, let alone a Hulk, given how people with power seemed inclined to abuse it these days. Assuming they were ever allowed to do anything*, it would probably wind up being something awful.

There's also the downside that this news lead to other people describing Civil War in articles, and calling the New Warriors D-list, or implying they were totally outclassed by flippin' Nitro. Sure, the team that faced the Juggernaut, Terrax, and the Sphinx can't handle Blows Himself Up Guy. Well, not when Millar is writing, obviously, but see, now I'm angry about that all over again. I had pretty much shoved the general stupidity of that whole event into the back corners of my mind, and here someone went and dragged it into the light again.

I'm hoping it would be relegated to a small mini-series that exists off by itself. Something that can be easily packaged into a single trade you can put in a bookstore for people who see the movie and are curious. Not the huge, sprawling, invasive mess the original was. The last Civil War played at least a part in the decrease in Marvel comics I bought over a span of several years. The tone it established for much of the line, the fact it was a success, so Marvel did more BIG EVENTS which also derailed books I had been previously enjoying. I'd rather not have a repeat of all that.

* I have this picture of the alien invasion in the Avengers movie, and the heroes aren't there, because they have to wait for the President to get Congress to declare war against this invading force. But the Republicans want to use conventional military, and demand more funding for it, which they suggest can be found by defunding the Affordable Care Act. So nothing gets done and Manhattan is destroyed.

Is It The Superhero's World, Or Are They Just Living In It?

This post originally started as one thing, but I realized there was a more interesting direction for it to go.

During Dwayne McDuffie's stint on Fantastic Four, he was handed a bit of a rough situation. It came immediately after Civil War, when the team had fragmented. Reed had been Pro-Reg, Sue and Johnny switched to the Anti-Reg side about the time Reed and Stark unveiled Murderous Clone Thor, and Ben left the country for a time, unwilling to fight his government or his friends. So McDuffie had to try and patch things up between them, and try and explain why Reed would produce things like Clor and the Negative Zone prison.

The solution he went with was that Reed made psychohistory work. He'd read Asimov's books as a boy, and he tried to make it a reality. At some point, he succeeded, and his actions were an attempt to keep things on what seemed the path least likely to result in disaster. This seems sort of reasonable on the surface, and I do find it kind of cute to think of teenage Reed trying to work out the math behind psychohistory during 3rd period Spanish, or something.

There's a possible hitch, though. In the Foundation series, the flaw in psychohistory is it can't account for random individuals. Large groups of people are predictable, a single person is not. This is how the arrival of the Mule throws everything off, because he's a solitary individual with incredible psionic power, and Hari Seldon's calculations could not account for him*.

Now consider the Marvel Universe. There are dozens of people on Earth alone equal to the Mule's power in one way or the other. The Hulk, Dr. Strange, Apocalypse, Dr. Doom, the High Evolutionary. There are abstract concepts such as Death which are aware and occasionally take an active hand in the universe's proceedings. You have things the Celestials, whose true goals are unclear. You have people falling into toxic waste and developing powers every whipstitch. Time travelers, people from alternate timelines or other universes entirely. Reed Richards himself has shaped the course of the universe more than once. He convinced people to help save Galactus once. Imagine how differently things might go if he hadn't.

Given all these individuals, how can psychohistory work? Can't their powers give them a disproportionate level of control, to the point large groups of people are essentially meaningless? I mean, humans as a group have been trying to exterminate mutants for years. Legally, illegally, camps, giant robots, smear campaigns, using other mutants against them, whatever, none of it worked. The Scarlet Witch, by herself, came closer than all those groups ever had.

Then it occurred to me. Readers of serial comics talk about illusion of change. We also talk about how the genius characters never seem to use their big brains to fix the problems their world (and our own) has. And it's because the writers want to keep the world fairly recognizable to the audience, I presume so things they want to have stand out will. So things may go in a different direction for a time, but eventually, inevitably, they cycle back around. Mutant population was devastated, mutant population is reborn. The government trusts heroes, then it doesn't, then it does.

So what if that's point McDuffie was making? Superheroes and villains, for all their power, don't really make any sort of impact on the world? Or if they do, they cancel each other out? The nature of their stories prevents them from making any lasting change, so any permanent changes we (the audience) see in the Marvel Universe will be a reflection of the changes that come about in our own world, as writers attempt to continue representing the world outside our doors.

In-story, it would come down to Reed having determined that the superpowered individuals will have sufficiently different and opposing goals that they'll all stop each other from accomplishing anything. Which leaves the way open to the masses to determine the path, or be lead down it, if someone knows how to game the system. Say, someone who can predict what those masses will do. Like Reed Richards**.

* Given Seldon's Second Foundation was staffed by psionics, I'm left wondering what it was about the Mule that was so successful. Was it the strength of the Mule's talents, that they couldn't find him and draw him into their organization, or the fact that he set his eyes on galactic conquest? You would think, if Seldon had a group of psionics dedicated to keeping the Plan on course, there would be some way to predict their occurrence and account for it.

** I feel like McDuffie sort of of touched on this in a time travel sense. This is going off a vague memory, so it could be wrong. Reed says one person going back in time can't cause a sufficient difference as to change things, but if a large group of people go back, they just create an alternate timeline. Apparently the optimal number of people needed to change the outcomes without causing divergent timelines was 4.

Do You Want It Now, Or Do You Want It With David Aja?

Here's your hypothetical for the day: Say you could go back and be in charge of Marvel in late 2007, early 2008. David Aja lets you know he's not going to be able to draw his parts of the concluding issues of "The Tournament of the Heavens" arc in Immortal Iron Fist. His wife just had a baby, and he's going to be a little busy with the child rearing and all.

Would you have gone with Marvel's plan, to find some good artists to take Aja's place until his schedule opened up (he drew #16, the final issue before Swierczynski and Travel Foreman took over), or would you have waited, so the book would have a constant look throughout, and really be a Brubaker/Fraction/Aja run? If you prefer, use a different example. J.G. Jones on Final Crisis, Quietly on New X-Men, whatever works best for you.

At the time, when Aja wasn't available for Immortal Iron Fist, I wanted the book to stay on schedule. I'd been annoyed when it skipped some months early in the run (though I think that was because there were things in those issues that would spoil developments in Civil War), and I didn't want any more delays. I wanted to see how the arc ended. Once the book was there, it didn't feel quite right. Tonci Zonjic (and some others, Clay Mann, maybe?) gave it their best shot, but I'd have loved to seen it with David Aja the whole way. So the me of today given those sorts of mythical powers back then, I'd have waited. These days I already wait a month to get comics most times, what's a little more waiting to get the best product possible?

Of course, I have no idea if that makes good financial sense from Marvel's perspective. If we wait, that's months where there's no dollars coming in from sales of Immortal Iron Fist issues that could be released with guest pencilers. At the same time, the delays certain books (Fantastic Four and Amazing Spider-Man) faced while waiting for Steve McNiven to get caught up on Civil War didn't seem to hurt their sales once those delayed issues actually shipped. Civil War itself apparently still sells well in collections. I don't know whether Marvel waiting and letting Steve McNiven draw the whole thing is part of that or not. If so, then it would make sense to wait, let David Aja draw the parts he was originally going to draw, and then here's this lovely trade or hardcover, and new editions can be published whenever from now until the cows come home. Does that even out, financially?

You Can Go Your Own Way

Go your own waaaay! Is it a Fleetwood Mac kind of day? Hell if I know.

I saw that image on Kalinara's Tumbler, and it's from X-Men: Regenesis, the follow-up to the whole Schism thing in the X-Books. I guess Caveman Scott and Logan are meant to be a metaphor, although it really suggests their conflict is less an ideological thing, and more an alpha male pissing contest. Pounding their chests and roaring.

Which is fine, I do that sometimes. Just yesterday I was digging up some invasive autumn olive trees from along my father's fenceline, and when I removed the last one, I pounded my chest a bit. I also yelled "Buuuuuu!", because I was always amused when Majin Buu would do that. I loved him as the villain for those later stories in DragonBall Z. Goofy, yet menacing.

I wandered off-topic.

So I'm looking at this picture, and I'm struck by. . . actually, it reminds me of that Jeph Loeb Wolverine story about tribes of feral people where the light-haired one and the dark-haired one are always in conflict and -

Well, anyway, when I recovered from my subsequent seizure, I noticed whoever is speaking, I guess Cyclops, said people could go off on their own if they wanted. He frames it as neither side needing people who don't believe, but I think someone opting to strike out on their own is good common sense. Westchester has a long history of being targeted, and Utopia's pretty clearly sitting (floating?) on a giant bullseye. Trying to find a safe distance from both sounds like a pretty good idea.

Perhaps it isn't practical for someone with a mutation that's difficult to hide, but there are plenty of the remaining mutants who look enough like an average human that if they don't make showy displays of their powers, they can pass mostly unbothered. In a meta sense, it's safer to go off over the horizon and be forgotten, than to hang around with the big-name, money characters, where you're likely to get sacrificed so Wolverine or Cyclops can look pained about your death in whatever Big Event nonsense is coming over the horizon.

Coming over a different horizon than the one they walked over to get away from it all. Because otherwise they'd be walking over the horizon right into the Big Event as it comes over the horizon, and that would likely get them killed by said Big Event before it's even begun. Can a Big Event kill someone before it's a Big Event, or would that necessarily signal its beginning? Like Ted Kord getting shot in the head. Poor Ted. Anyway, the Event would be coming over a different horizon. Or is it all the same horizon? Then a different side. The character leaves going east, the Event comes from the west, that sort of thing. The exact opposite side is best, but as long as the Event is at least 90 degrees off from where the character exited, the character is probably safe from being sucked into its vortex of horrific deaths.

At any rate, it's not safe to be near Scott or Logan, because all the enemy fire is going to miss them and hit the other characters. Or hit Logan, keep going, then hit the other characters. He has a healing factor (did you know Wolverine has a healing factor?) so he'll be fine, but the poor Generation Hope kids (or whoever) will be up the creek.

I'm guessing no one took that option, though I did hear Polaris and Havok may be joining X-Factor. That's not exactly stepping off the bullseye, though. It's a smaller bullseye, though, and it has to move around as they pursue cases. Like in the animated Robin Hood movie, when the Sheriff had his deputy hide in the target for the archery contest and move it so he'd hit the mark. Only in this case the bullseye is chasing the heroes, to mark them as the target, rather than the projectile designed to hit them.

I've gotten lost again.

I blame myself. Not for the getting lost, the fact everyone chose sides. Well, also the getting lost part, that's on me, but that wasn't the specific thing I was blaming myself for here. I gave Dr. Strange loads of crap for sitting out Civil War, after all, even though avoiding that load of cow flop was a wise decision. No one wanted to be the undecided who incurred my wrath this time, which is silly since I've hardly noticed the X-line in the last 3 years.

But these days everyone has to choose sides on everything. There can be no uncertainty or middle ground. One or the other, people. If Dogma taught me anything, it's that God hates people who try to stay above the fray. God also hates people who side against it, but I don't think Cyclops or Wolverine are God. The writers might be, though.

Can You Make A Principled Stand Without Principles?

Do you think Tony Stark has any principles?

I was reading Chad Nevett's Random Thoughts post this week, and he mentioned he wasn't a fan of the trend in the Marvel Universe of Steve Rogers always being right. I tend to think if it's a question of whether it's right to do something or not, at least as it pertains to the American Ideal, yeah, Steve Rogers should be right. Doesn't mean he can't be wrong about other things, or handle things incorrectly*.

So in the comments, someone argued that Stark was the bigger man than Rogers, because Stark was being treated as a villain, he was taking all this blame, he has to provide Rogers with some way to stop him if he goes off the rails like this again, Stark never set up a covert ops team**. The point being, if Steve Rogers is lauded for standing by his principles, Tony Stark should be as well, perhaps more s,o since he did it while becoming hated by everyone.

I'm not convinced Tony Stark really has any principles, though. He was big on making people register their identities with the government, but this is the guy who previously somehow used satellites to make the world forget who he was. He wanted everybody to fall in line and follow the law, but that's coming from a man who wrecked the armors of all the guards at a super-villain prison because, through no fault of their own, parts of their armors were based on his designs. Hell, he beat up Stingray just because he thought Stingray's armor might have some of his designs in it.

Tony Stark strikes me as a character who doesn't have any set rules, except perhaps "Don't touch my stuff!" He seems to do what he thinks is right in the moment, but may do the exact opposite later if he decides it's the right choice. Other people's thoughts on the matter may not factor into his decision at all. Or they might, if he feels like listening. Which is fine. As long as he's trying to do right, I imagine he can be a hero without a strict code he follows, but I'm not sure that qualifies as having principles. I'm obviously biased against Stark, so I may not be giving him enough credit. Plus, my collection of Iron Man comics is pretty small. So I'd like your input on whether Stark has principles, and if so, what you think they are.

* I think after he escaped Maria Hill at the start of Civil War, it might have been a good idea to have some friends cover him, visit a major TV network, and ask for some time to present his thoughts on why the Super-Hero (Human? Whatever.) Registration Act was wrong. Give the public something to chew on before embarking on his "fight crime from the shadows campaign".

** No he decided to unleash Venom, Bullseye, Lady Deathstrike, etc., on Spider-Man, after Spidey switched sides. He used nanites to make Norman Osborn shoot an Atlantean diplomat, because the threat of war with fish people would convince the public to go along with what Stark wanted. Say what you will about the Secret Avengers being "covert ops", they are actual heroes. OK, the Ant-Man he's using is a scumbag, but the rest of them are, give or take some time as Communist spies (Black Widow), or being insane (Moon Knight).

The Unmasking Thing Just Can't Stop Nagging At Me

I have to admit, I expected a bit more confusion with regards to yesterday's post. That was actually part of the reason I presented it with no lead-in or explanation, I was curious to see how you'd respond. Perhaps you've become inured to my lunacy. Ah well, 'tis a trifling. It was still a lot of fun to write.

On the subject of things that aren't fun to write about, it seems that my considering buying an issue of Amazing Spider-Man has dredged up some of those old feelings of frustration with the book in the months leading up to the establishment of the old status quo. So I might as well ramble about it awhile and see if this gets it out of my system once and for all. We can only hope, right?

For starters, I don't know if the marriage was actually hurting Spider-Man's storytelling engine (as John Seavey might describe it). The majority of my comic-reading lifetime, Peter and MJ were married, so I'm accustomed to it. I think my issue with claims that it made it harder to write good stories is, well, I read Spider-Man during the '90s. I read a lot of bad stories during that time, and I don't think it would be valid to blame them being bad on the title character being married. Was that what went wrong with the Return of Peter's Parents? Or Maximum Carnage, or the latter stages of the Clone Saga*? Or the Mackie/Byrne reboot, or The Other, or Sins Past? I don't happen to think so, but maybe the marriage was hampering the writers, dragging them down to the point they resorted to stories like that. I don't tend to believe that either, but it could be. Personally, I think it's good that when he's out there as Spider-Man, there's someone who knows it and is worried about him. Somehow, the idea of Peter out there, risking his neck, and nobody realizes it depresses me. I think it makes him seem too alone. Maybe he's supposed to be alone, though.

But OK, let's say the marriage was a problem. Why remove it by making deals with Mephisto? I mean, that's really not a good example to have your hero setting, is it? Daredevil has experienced at least as much tragedy as Spider-Man, and he went to Hell once, and completely told Mephisto off. Sure, he was pretty messed up in the head for awhile afterwards, but that's understandable, he'd been in Hell! That's gonna mess a person up! If Murdock won't give in, I think Parker ought to be able to resist as well**.

Of course, the Mephisto thing starts with Peter revealing his identity to the world, thus setting the whole chain of events in motion. I still think he'd have been better off going with that instinct to run he originally had. Sure, it's not very responsible to abandon your wife and mother figure, but I'm not sure it's responsible to slap a giant bullseye on them by telling everyone who hates you who you really are. Like I said, i read Spider-Man during the early '90s, when the only villains who knew who he was were Harry Osborn, Venom, and the Puma, and they used to cause him all sorts of grief. You really want afford the other dozens of enemies you've made that opportunity?

If Peter runs, and tries to set up a (what he would hope is temporary) life in a new town, you can probably come up with a way to remove the marriage based on that. It might have an odd bit of symmetry, since Mary Jane, her sister and mother once walked out on their father, who was a frustrated and angry man, and got looked at unfavorably by the courts for that. They had the best of reasons, but that didn't matter to Johnny Law. So turn it around, MJ gets ditched this time, and doesn't appreciate it (especially since Peter gave every indication in their last conversation that he was going to go ahead and reveal his identity). Pete means well (figuring Stark wouldn't lock up his wife and aunt if it was clear he'd ditched them, and I think as long as you don't let JMS make that decision, Stark wouldn't) but it could still haunt him. Isn't that what happens to Spider-Man? He makes what seems to be the right decision, and it backfires on him?

In the meantime, you can have Peter set up a life in a new location, build a supporting cast there (this assumes that even though Iron Man has surely told SHIELD his I.D., Peter is able to stay under the radar, and that Iron Man didn't go public with that information), maybe fight a few villains fleeing the new super-hero armies Stark has, or local oddities (these could even be mystical, just to get JMS on board). It's a Ben Reilly sort of existence. I suppose you could play Peter as the Fugitive, not staying in one place too long, though that sorts of wrecks any chance for a consistent supporting cast***. Except I don't that's probably viable long-term. People would want Spider-Man in New York, and then what do you do? I don't know, but it seems there had to be better options.

These issues don't crop up when I look at a current issue of Amazing Spider-Man, oddly enough. It's the other times when I start thinking about Spider-Man that it bothers me. I guess that means the stories are at least temporarily engaging.

* The Clone Saga, as originally planned, where it would be about six months long, sounds like it could have been good. I think the problem came when it sold really well, and they decided to drag it out for like two years.

** Maybe that Catholic guilt they saddle Murdock with makes all the difference.

*** I'd suggest you have him drift from place to place because he doesn't feel comfortable anywhere, but that raises the question of where he would feel comfortable, and that would almost inevitably point towards May and MJ, and you're right back to the situation the decision makers at marvel apparently considered untenable.

Let The Hate Flow! Thank You, I Think I Shall

I was once again flipping through the novelization of Revenge of the Sith, when this struck me. Through Episodes 2 and 3, Chancellor Palpatine keeps getting more power from the Senate, through things that he's set in motion. That eventually culminates in the Galactic Federation becoming the Galactic Empire, with him as Emperor. Prior to that, the Jedi Council is placed under his control, something they aren't particularly happy about. Publicly, he keeps up this facade of the humble civil servant, merely accepting the responsibilities given to him by the Senate, which helps him portray the Jedis (to Anakin) as a group of anti-democratic oddballs, that are actually enemies of freedom. Anakin, being under considerable stress and not being terribly bright, falls for it.

The thing that it made me think of was Tony Stark being appointed head of SHIELD and the Initiative*. In that scenario, all those heroes who ran around, you know, saving lives without a thought to procedures or any of that crap, are the Jedis, operating as they see fit, out side the boundaries of the government. Through all the death and destruction, Iron Man comes out with significantly more power than he had before the mess began, the whole time insisting that he's merely trying to do the best he can, and that this is the best situation any of them could hope for, and really, this is such a better system than we had before, can't you see that? Heck, Iron Man even went to the trouble of engineering incidents to raise the public's panic, which helped push his agenda forward**.

I think that might make Captain America Mace Windu, which I guess makes those cops and fireman that tackled Cap Anakin? Well, your Average Joe in the Marvel Universe is stupid enough to be Anakin. Or maybe Bucky is Anakin, and Cap was Obi-Wan. No, that doesn't work. Really, all that matters is who plays Luke and gets whoever is Vader to chuck Stark down a pit.

* I think he's in charge of the Initiative. In some books, anyway.

** See his using Norman Osborn to shoot an Atlantean ambassador, pushing the two nations towards war, and accomplishing something. I forget what the purpose was of that, besides scaring people. And once again, I'd like to take a moment to thank Sally Floyd and Ben Urich for not bothering to let the public know about this.

It Is The American Way, After All

Sallyp already discussed a little of the legal hellstorm heading Tony Stark way (probably a little of that'll be pointed at ole' Uncle Sam as well). Plus the Howling Curmudgeons have been hotly debating the legality of the entire Superhuman Registration Act/Initiative for awhile (that's only the most recent post on it I could find).

I find it amusing that Captain America and his Secret Avengers (now Luke Cage's Secret Avengers) couldn't stop Generalissimo Stark, but a bunch of lawyers just might. Given that you can sue anyone for just about anything these days in America, it would actually sort of be in keeping with Quesada's assertions that he wants the Marvel Unvierse to really be like it's happening in our world.

But I've been wondering what exactly Jennifer Walters, or Danny Rand's attorneys can accomplish. Rand's apparently going to contend with the Registration Act over the definition of "superpower", which given Danny's situation is probably a good idea. After all, is Iron Fist superpowered, or just a really well-trained everyday human? Having watched lots of anime leads me to believe anyone could have a sort of Iron Fist, if they just learn to focus their chi. . . stuff. Silliness aside, by the definition of "superhuman" the Act has no hold over Frank Castle, even though he's supposedly exactly the kind of person they're trying to rein in, but it forces a teenager who just wants to fly, with no real desire to do the vigilante thing, to sign up. That'll cut down on those costumed types acts of destruction.

For the sake of argument, let's says Rand (or Jen, though I'm not sure what angle she's taking) gets the Act repealed. What happens to all the secret identities that were already registered? Do those get deleted? If so, how would anyone know for sure it actually happened, or that there weren't backup copies? Stark is the one who supposedly has all of them, and given his Tech God state, I'm sure they're stored as a zip file in his brain somewhere. How does one deal with that? (Answer: Total lobotomy! Dr. Banner, would you care to do the honors? Here's your axe.)

Would repealing the Registration Act end the Intiative, with the teams in every state, and the training camp where stupid Gauntlet guy uses "New Warriors" as an insult, and God, I hate stupid Gauntlet guy! Grrr! I'd imagine if people still wanted training, and wanted to serve as government sponsored superheroes, then Gyrich would be happy to have them dissected, I mean, happy to have them.

Would the heroes refusing to play ball get amnesty, since they're technically fugitives, or would they still have to answer for that even after the Act was repealed? On the off chance it can ever be proven that Danny Rand is the Iron Fist running with the New Avengers, this would be a good thing to have his legal staff investigate.

If the Act was repealed, would Tony Stark be bounced as Director? I doubt he'd willingly resign, I'm sure his "futurist instincts" tell him that only he has the vision to lead such an important organization of good guy cannon fodder as SHIELD. But, if the whole thing falls apart because he couldn't keep all his friends in line, then I could see the Powers That Be (whoever that is) giving him his walking papers. Maybe they could ruin Stark Enterprises as a finally "Thanks for nothing, loser" gift?

So many questions, so little chance they'll ever actually be answered.

Friendship, Law, Vengeance, Emotions

In Tuesday's post about whether the Marvel braintrust is serious when they tell fans Iron Man's side was right, commenters Earl Allison and Laura both mentioned that Quesada might well be serious because it's meant to be like 24, which teaches us to break the rules to make things right sometimes. I don't watch 24, but I do watch The Shield and enjoy Dirty Harry, so I have to admit that I will root for someone doing bad things for supposedly good reasons. So why can't I (and other fans, though certainly not all) root for Tony Stark?

I think it's because, as was also discussed in the comments to that post, Stark is screwing over characters we like in the interests of the 'betterment of mankind', as he described it in Nova #2. In those other scenarios, be it Jack Bauer shooting someone, Vic Mackey pressing a guy's face on a burning stove, or Harry Callahan ignoring constitutional rights of suspects, the primary thing we know about the person being hurt is that they're a scumbag. We aren't meant to empathize with them, and that we aren't meant to be troubled by the character we root for performing these unpleasant acts (I don't think we're meant to be troubled).

I don't know about you, but I often respect fictional characters that undergo hardship to protect their friends. Even if the character being protected is garbage, I can appreciate that this other character doesn't see them that way, and so they defend them. I've done it on occasion myself, taking the rap for things a friend did, because I didn't think my parents were all that fond of him, and so I figured it'd be easier if I took the heat instead. As swell as it is to have laws to try and maintain order (to the extent the law, and not human restraint, does that), I like the fact that there can be bonds that transcend the law. The seeming lack of those bonds, the sense that no one cared much cared anyone else, so they'd sell each other out at the drop of a hat, was one of the most depressing aspects of reading 1984, for me, personally. It just seems like such an awful way to go through life.

But it's the way Iron Man and his cronies went during Civil War. They'd rolled over for the law, poo-pooed any concerns others had, and threw dissenters that they'd known for years in the clink. Friendship was secondary to obeying the law, there wasn't going to be any looking the other direction for old times' sake. And maybe there shouldn't be. I appreciate that at times, Iron Man tried to talk with Captain America (though luring him into a trap the first time wasn't a good way to start), and that since Cap was resolute, maybe Iron Man felt he was out of options (but shouldn't a futurist, who sat down with his buddies and came up with 100 ideas to improve the world, be able to come up with an alternative to the whole registration thing?). Maybe having all the superhumans trained and under government regulation is for the best. But pushing it through by stepping all over his friends is not going to make Tony Stark a character I want to see experience success. For me at least, it isn't the mark of an admirable character. Of course, Sally Floyd applauded him for the same actions I despise, but I think Ms. Floyd is a twit, so who cares what she applauds? She's no Adorable Baby Panda!

Just for the sake of comparison, let's look at the current storyline in Amazing Spider-Man. Peter is out to get Wilson Fisk because he ordered the hit which has left Aunt May in a coma (again). He's breaking all sorts of laws with his breaking of limbs, webbing of police officers, chucking people out windows. I'm not really eager for Vengeful Spidey stories, but I can understand the character's reasons. A loved one was hurt for no good reason by an evil person, and he's looking to get payback. It's not noble, certainly illegal, but it's done because someone he cared about was hurt, so it's more understandable to me. There's emotion behind it, whereas Tony, Reed, and Hank's actions have seemed coldly logical, an attempt to ignore the human aspect.

Hopefully that made sense. It was just a bunch of stuff I wanted to say. Type. Whatever.

I Don't Know Who's Being Clever Here

I've been thinking about Marvel in the aftermath of Civil War, and the dichotomy between what we're being told, and what we're seeing. Quesada and Millar insist Iron Man's side was right, and Cap was wrong, but we see all this... morally questionable stuff the Pro-Reg side did to help their plans come to fruition.

Sometimes Iron Man looks like a hero (hooray!), like when he saved those hostages in Australia in his book. Other times he's lying about Cap being alive to trap his old friends, because 'it's the law'. Then he looks the other way while Warbird helps reunite Julia Carpenter with her daughter, even though Julia had lost custody, thus breaking the law.

The Initiative is supposed to be training inexperienced supers, but then decide to take away those powers (if they can, see that girl from the first issue of The Initiative) if the kids screw up a training exercise. All this while some former Nazi Scientist (or at least stereotypically evil-looking old German scientist) looks on, standing next to the poster boy for Government Jerkwards, Gyrich. Not to mention the absurdity of giving Norman Osborn a government position and control of a super-team.

Marvel is telling us one thing, but showing us quite another. So I'm wondering whether you think that's by design, or whether the guys writing these stories that seem to run counter to the company line are playing at being subversives.

I really wouldn't put it past Joe Quesada to stand there and tell us all one thing, while actually going a different direction with the books, but Millar seemed pretty insistent that Stark's side was "right". Of course, I base that on excerpts of comments he's made, that I've read on the Internet, where I can't read facial expressions, tone, or body language, so he could be joking around too, and I'd have no clue.

The other possibility is guys like Warren Ellis and Dan Slott are being told to write these books; they don't particularly care for the particulars of the assignment (Pro-Reg is right, Cap and his people just didn't get it), and so they're pitching things as part of the story on the grounds that they're "cool" and "edgy" (like that girl, Armory?, having her high-tech arm thing forcibly taken away for accidentally killing one of the other recruits), but really it's intended to undermine what the honchos have been saying.

I have to admit, the subversive idea sounds kind of nifty, but I think I'd prefer if Quesada were messing with us, saying things he doesn't believe, and that aren't true, just to rile us up.

When Perception Battles Reality

Just over a year ago, I proposed DC have a "Beat up Dr. Light Month", where every title DC released that month would involve Evil Dr. Light being pummeled, as we find out that his apparent badassedry was just a ruse played by the heroes to make him feel better about himself.

Thus far, DC hasn't taken the bait, though I haven't seen him around much since One Year Later began either. However, I think Marvel may have been paying attention, because it certainly looks like they've instituted a "Beat up Iron Man" campaign. She-Hulk, Nova, the Hulk, I could swear I saw pages of Spidey duking it out with Iron Man in somebody's Wizard Magazine. But this has me wondering about something.

See, as far as I can tell, Quesada, Millar and the rest are dead serious when they say that Tony Stark was right, and thus the "right" side won the conflict. I don't agree with that assessment, but that's not the point. The Powers That Be at Marvel say Iron Man was right, and he's certainly doing the life-saving hero thing in his own book, so let's take them at their word for a moment. What I'm left wondering is, how are they going to play out these conflicts between Stark and these other heroes that are mad at him?

Are the others going to be portrayed as folks who just don't get it? They can't see the unpleasant alternatives like Tony, so they can't grasp how important it was for him to do all the things that he did? In which case, even though they may feel wronged by Iron Man, and may have, in fact, been wronged by him, they're wrong to get attack him, because he did what was best. (Of course, as the Shroud reminded Warbird, what's "best" isn't always what's "right", but let's set that aside for now.)

Or, are the characters going to be portrayed as people giving Iron Man what he deserves, while Iron Man comes off as someone largely unsympathetic to their complaints (a common thing during the recent difficulties), which would tend to place him as the villain? Then, Tony has been pushing people around, and really screwed things up, and now has to face the consequences of his actions.

In the second scenario, the reader would be clearly meant to side with the person fighting Iron Man, because he's done things that were unnecessary and hurtful. It's the same principle behind my "Beat up Dr. Light Month", because who's going to root for Dr. Light? He's the bad guy! Go {Insert Hero Name Here}!

The first situation is a little trickier. There, Stark did the right thing, and did it the cleanest way he could (In theory; in practice maybe not. I have a hard time buying that the thing with Osborn and the Atlanteans was necessary), but still hurt these people, and so it could be argued that at some point you have to accept the bad with the good. You're Director of SHIELD, been setting this whole thing up from the start? Great, then the buck stops with you. But that still doesn't make him a bad guy; just a person who made tough choices that, as tough choices tend to do, hurt other people.

I suppose it largely comes down to how the creative team portrays him. If he comes across as someone who hurts from the decisions he made, and regrets others' suffering, it'd be the first one. If he comes off as the know-it-all, condescending jerk he was often portrayed as during that big crossover I won't name, then it's going to be pretty apparent we're meant to root for some comeuppance to be directed in Shellhead's direction.

I'm Being Self-Indulgent Here

Open Letter To Disillusioned Marvel Fans In A Post-Civil War World:

How are you doing? Pull up a chair, have a seat. Want something to drink? I've got soda and water. What'd I ask you here for? Right to business, huh? OK, here we go. I've seen you there in the forums, message boards, Newsarama Blog comment threads. You're depressed, frustrated, ready to give up. You say you're done with Marvel, maybe even done with comics entirely.

First, let me say I'm not going to criticize that decision. I'm depressed by Civil War too, and it is your money, which means you can spend it (or not) as you see fit. And I'm not going to say you aren't 'a fan of comics' if that's your final decision. Arguing about what a true fan is doesn't get us anywhere. All I wanted to do was remind you that there's lots of stuff out there that hasn't been touched by Civil War.

You say, "Well I knew that! Do you think I'm stupid?" No sir or madam, I do not. I think you are feeling kind of down, and ready to chuck the whole game console out the window because one of your games doesn't work anymore (I'm tired of that 'baby and bathwater' metaphor, so I've made a new one). Let's take a look at the landscape:

Marvel Adventures: I haven't read much of this, but from what I have, it's done-in-one stories, the good guys and bad guys are pretty clearly delineated, and while things are resolved with violence, there's no "lightning bolt through the chest" stuff. Iron Man's even getting a Marvel Adventures book, which means he would have to be an actual good guy. No more punching Captain America or sending supervillains after Spider-Man. MODOK Avengers, anyone?

OK, maybe you want it a little more gritty than that. Howzabout the Ultimate line? No Civil War there. OK, that's because the government already seems to have a policy regarding superhumans (you join when you're 18, or you go to jail), but it doesn't seem as pushy as it did in Civil War. Plus, once Millar finishes Ultimates 2, he'll be out of this line entirely, so that might be something you'd enjoy.

If you want gritty, non-registration stories, there's the MAX line. I guarantee you won't hear diddly squat about Civil War in The Punisher (watch Garth Ennis make me a liar next month). You'd have to ask Mallet about Son of Satan, but I think it's safe.

But maybe you want less graphic violence, but you still want some sort of continuity. There's the MC2 Universe, home of the Amazing Spider-Girl! That's all there is to it right now, but there could be other mini-series in the future. It's superheroics with a Bronze Age mentality (I think; I'm not really sure what that means). Or there's The Exiles. Everybody likes Chris Claremont! Or maybe not. But it's set outside of any particular universe, so it can just be all sorts of wacky alternate realities! One of those two might even make fun of Civil War. Spider-Girl did it with Disassembled.

And I didn't even mention DC, Image, Top Cow, IDW, Dynamite or any of the other comic publishers out there. Look, this has probably been kind of annoying for you, what with me sitting here, telling you the obvious and all, but I was feeling kind of bummed out that Civil War was ruining comics for people, and so I really wanted to remind you that there has to be something out there you would enjoy, and more than likely it needs your financial support.

Have a nice day,

CalvinPitt