Some New Things to Love in February

Not a lot of new things, mind you, and they were confined to a few companies, but there were a few things.

From Red 5, there's Fallen, a six-issue mini-series by Matt Ringel and Henry Ponciano, about an immortal warrior who serves Zeus, acting as a P.I. looking into the murder of a god. I think Ponciano's the cover artist as well, and if so, I like the look of it. Whatnot Publishing has only been in Previews a few months, and seems largely defined by getting well-known artists to do variant covers. Case in point, the solicit for Liquid Kill touts Toni Infante being a new cover artist before it tells you anything about the book or creative team (Max Hoven and Aaron Crow as writers, Gabriel Iumazark as artist). Liquid Kill's concept sounds at least intriguing. A militia of vigilantes searching for their leader fighting some horrible monster. Sounds a bit like Predator, or something along those lines.

The other three were from Scout Comics. Kesel and Hahn have another Impossible Jones one-shot. There's also Deadfellows, by Kody Hamilton and Ramiro Borallo, about a guy stopped from killing himself by a ghost in his apartment, who tries to befriend the ghost. The other book is TC Pescatore and Luciano Cruzado's Junction Jones and the Corduroy Conspiracy. I feel like I've seen other Junction Jones books, but my quick search revealed nothing, so *shrugs*. I don't know if I'll get either of the latter two books, but they're at least Maybes.

There's only one thing out of the rest of my books that's ending in February, and that's Sgt. Rock vs. the Army of the Dead. The cover suggests Rock's fighting amped-up, undead Hitler. Aw yeah, punch his jaw off like the Black Panther did to the Red Skull that one time!

Everything else is still in progress. Tiger Division will be on its penultimate issue, while the Mary Jane and Black Cat mini-series is up to issue 3, even as Dark Web appears to be wrapping up. The Wasp and Northern Guard mini-series will both be on issue 2, if I buy either one. Nature's Labyrinth is up to issue 4, and Grit N Gears is up to issue 3, although I'd swear the length of the mini-series increases with every month. It was 6 issues last month, now it's up to 7. Is this some sort of bait and switch, or is the story getting away from the creative team?

Deadpool and Fantastic Four are on issue 4, and it at least appears Ryan North is going to explain the smoking crater that made everyone hate the FF. Better than Zeb Wells dragging that shit out, what 15 issues so far, on Amazing Spider-Man? Moon Knight is all the way up to issue 20, while Immortal Sergeant and Darkwing Duck would both be on their second issues.

Overall, it's potentially a busy first couple of months, assuming these books ship on time, but there's at least 4 or 5 of these I might skip, and I haven't seen the first issue of Nature's Labyrinth of Grit N Gears to judge them on. Deadpool's not entirely safe, either. So it's in flux.

Black Friday (2021)

Look, it's a movie about, among other actors, Bruce Campbell and Michael Jai White as employees in a big toy store on Thanksgiving during an apocalypse. I'm not made of stone!

The movie takes a few minutes at the start to outline the broad strokes of a few of employees. The nervous guy in his early 20s with a crappy family who is germophobic. The divorced dad in his 40s that acts like he's 20. The useless manager (Campbell) and his kiss-ass assistant manager. It's not much, but it's enough to set up relationships and conflicts to come into play when things go wrong.

Which happens quickly. The movie's only 85 minutes, they don't have time to waste People waiting to get in already look sick, but the employees are used to that on holiday sales. But then someone attacks the germophobe and he dumps one of those 12-foot high cages they store the big bouncy balls in on them and things go south. The employees are in disarray, but the movie avoids too high of an initial body count by having the affected be up to something rather than rampaging and killing. It's not clear what or why, but none of these characters are the sort that would be able to figure that out.

All of that allows for the cast to try different approaches. Escape, then lockdown, then a different escape. Each of these splits the characters up into different groups, which allows them to bounce off each other in different ways, highlight their personality traits and how they act as the pressure increases. So it has elements of a zombie horror movie, in that the unaffected are sometimes the biggest threat to each other. Who starts pointing fingers, who turns coward, who does something shitty and tries to justify it after the fact?

It's also a bit of a comedy, in a Sam Raimi, Ash vs. Evil Dead sense (I'm the font Amazon Prime uses for the title on the menu screen is the same as Ash vs. Evil Dead). The characters sit around at one point, discussing how long they've worked at "We Luv Toys" and what the job means to them. They're alternately sad and funny, although mostly sad. People trapped in more than one sense.

The violence certainly has the Raimi excess to it. The affected gradually turning more horrible-looking, weird jaws and pointed teeth. Lots of corn syrup blood and people defending themselves awkwardly with whatever they can find. Whiffle Ball bats, bolt cutters, a broken champagne bottle.

What I Bought 11/23/2022

I tried, as much as possible, to stay the heck out of stores over the weekend. Can't deal with the Christmas surge. Had one comic come out last week, and not nearly as many books coming out this week as I was hoping, so let's look at what we got.

Sgt. Rock vs. the Army of the Dead #3, by Bruce Campbell (writer), Eduardo Risso (artist), Kristian Rossi (color artist), Rob Leigh (letterer) - Oh, so now Rock's decided he likes the using the flamethrower against undead Nazis. You should be more concerned with process than results, man!

Last issue's nosing around was just recon. Now Easy Co. knows where the factory is, knows the layout, knows they need better weapons to deal with the revived Nazis, and know that Hitler's personal physician visits there. A couple of quick pages to introduce some new firepower, such as an automatic shotgun and a tear gas launcher, and we're back to the guys skulking around at night.

I expected that once they were in last issue, the story would just rush forward from there. Rock and the others trying to destroy the factory and adjust to finding Doctor Morell on the fly. But it makes more sense that they'd report back and get proper tools for the job. Can't afford to screw up the mission. I'm a little surprised the skirmish last issue didn't put the Nazis on high alert. Especially since they wouldn't have found any dead American soldiers. Wouldn't that be a concern, that someone saw your secret factory and lived to tell?

Anyway, the issue flips back-and-forth between the squad led by Bulldozer, responsible for making Morell rabbit and destroying the factory, and the one led by Rock, responsible for tracking Morell. Each run into their share of complications, so Risso and Rossi get a chance to draw Nazis get their heads and limbs pulped by shotguns, or having an entire brick smokestack knocked on them with a bazooka. Rossi's limited colors work pretty well with Risso's heavy use of shadows. Some nice panels of the Nazis emerging from darkness, only teeth and eyes visible, or Jackie Johnson grinning maniacally as he fires one of those shotguns.

I think the thing that feels off to me about this Sgt. Rock is I'm used to Kanigher or Kubert giving Rock almost a constant internal monologue. Their stories were essentially written from his perspective. Campbell's ditched that approach entirely. There's no thought balloons, not even any internal narration boxes. And this Rock's not particularly chatty, which might make sense, being a hard-bitten man of few words, and most of those consisting of barked orders, but it does make things feel a bit thin in places.

The part where he and Jackie find their truck surrounded by Nazis and Rock's order is to, 'lean into it!' while leaping from the truck with his shotgun ready, felt very appropriate to the character. The action scenes catch that desperation the old comics had, but in a different way.

Sunday Splash Page #246

 

"On the Road Again," in Highwayman, by Koren Shadmi

Highwayman is a series of stories about a man named Lucas traveling from place to place. Lucas can't die, for reasons that are explained late in the book, and so his travels cover thousands of years, as both humanity and the planet gradually die away.

Each chapter is in a different place, at a different point in the journey, and Shadmi uses a different main color for each one. An overwhelming orange-red in Chapter 4, "Sizzle". An orange-peach in Chapter 2, when he hitches a ride with some girls going to an absurd party in the desert. The further the story goes, the grittier and bleaker the colors get. Not necessarily darker, but a sickly grey-green, or just a dull grey of a dead world.

Lucas remains distant from most of the people he rides with, rarely even looking at them while they talk with him. Just stares out the window as the world goes by, as if the answer to why he's like this will be posted on a billboard somewhere. The people he meets are usually awful, indifferent to the suffering of others, so maybe it works out that Lucas doesn't care too much about their fate.

It's not all like that. Shadmi does add a few kinder people along the way, and Lucas does try to help others. But the recurring theme is the kinder people get crushed by the cruel ones, and Lucas ultimately can't help anyone. That's not what he's for.

Saturday Splash Page #48

 

"Space Cases," in Untold Tales of Spider-Man #4, by Kurt Busiek (writer), Pat Olliffe (penciler), Al Vey and Pam Eklund (inkers), Steve Mattsson (colorist), Richard Starkings and Comicraft (letterers)

For two years in the mid-90s, Kurt Busiek and Pat Olliffe worked on a Spider-Man series set in the webslinger's earliest days. The stories were threaded in and around the Lee/Ditko issues of Amazing Spider-Man, expanding on developments in those stories, while also introducing some other characters. Not just additional villains, but some of the other high school kids. Granted, mostly kids who hung out with Flash Thompson and made Peter's life miserable, but at least they got names, personalities, and their own subplots.

The stories were largely done-in-ones, but with those subplots running through the background until they were ready to take center stage. Peter's halting relationship with Betty Brant as he tries to find time for her, when he isn't having to brush her off to save the day, and then it comes to a bit of a head when her brother's old friend shows up as a souped-up mob enforcer. One of Peter's classmates is a bit of a thrill-seeker, which manifests first in an attempt to be a superhero, then a photographer like Parker. The fallout from that prompts another of his classmates to go through a rough stretch.

It's a nice mixture, and Busiek's very good at drawing a parallel between whatever problem Spider-Man's facing and Peter's problems. Although the other high school kids are so largely a bunch of jackasses it stretches my suspension of disbelief. Even Flash Thompson can't be that much of a prick.

Olliffe gives Peter the more lanky physique he had in the Ditko years, before he got beefed up by Romita Sr. and later artists. Peter's rocking the suit jacket and tie looks he had in those years, definitely not cutting an impressive figure. Especially since Olliffe captures that slumped shoulder, hangdog look Ditko was so good at. Peter walking away, lost in his own depressing thoughts, hands jammed in his pockets, while the other students talk shit about him.

The series runs about a 50/50 mix between pre-existing villains and new ones. I think Vulture might get the most play of Spidey's classic rouge's gallery, but Busiek brings in oddballs like the original Black Knight and the Scarlet Beetle alongside the classics like Doc Ock and the Sandman. I'm a little disappointed that, other than the Headsman (who popped up in Thunderbolts post-Secret Invasion), none of the new villains got much play outside the book.

Holiday Chaos

CalvinPitt: How's the soup coming?

Clever Adolescent Panda: *stirs the pot experimentally* It's good. I still think it's suspicious you wanted miso soup with tofu as one of the dishes.

Calvin: There's nothing wrong with tofu. It's really just texture, all the taste is in the broth.

CAP: Put out an extra place setting.

Calvin: Don't go inviting extra people to our shindig!

CAP: It's for the narrator.

Calvin: Oh. I guess he did say this was all he had a couple of years ago. Which is incredibly depressing.

Narrator: I HAVE A FAMILY, YOU KNOW.

Calvin: *glares at ceiling* Then don't make misleading, self-deprecating comments.

CAP: Don't fight with our narrator.

Calvin: How would I even fight with an intangible presence?

*voice through the door*: Yo! Let me in!

Calvin: It ain't locked!

Rhodez: You're not locking your door? That's kinda welcoming for you, isn't it?

CAP: I knew you were acting suspicious!

Calvin: *rolls eyes* No, I just don't want any of the guests kicking the door in because they get impatient.

Rhodez: Does that mean?

CAP: *cheers* Deadpool's coming!

Calvin: So I'd hide that good beer you brought if you don't want Wade to shotgun the lot of it.

Rhodez: Gotcha. *stashes it in the rear of the fridge, behind some diced onions* Man, how long have these onions been in here?

Calvin: *absently while setting the table* Since some time in the summer. Whenever I last had enchiladas. I keep meaning to chuck 'em, but eh, they're sealed up. Not hurting anything.

Pollock: Oh yes, always a good philosophy. Just ignore the problem.

*One of the pies lifts off the counter*

Calvin: *steps in to grab the pie* Whoa, whoa, no throwing food at Blogsgiving, Ghost of the Forest! Use one of the knives.

Pollock: *narrowly avoids the knife* That damnable spirit is here?!

Calvin: Yeah, they showed up a few days ago. Knocked my bike over for some reason. Which also knocked over my punching bag and the camp chair and almost hit my router.

*Calvin's coyote skull floats off the counter and approximates a shrug*

Calvin: Don't give me that. You could have just messed with my hats.

Pollock: *sourly* Delightful. I'm at a higher risk of being assaulted than normal at these get-togethers. Speaking of people likely to attack me, where's Cassanee?

Calvin: She's taking a nap. Hey, Cass, up and at 'em!

Cassanee: *wanders out of the guest room, yawning and scratching her head* Hello. Brought stuffing and one of the berry pies.

Pollock: Ah. How lovely, Cassanee.

CAP: *teases* Don't you mean the sullen girl?

Pollock: *glowers* Unlike you and the dolt, she's earned my using her name.

Calvin: How? By punching you in the face? I think everyone here's done that at least once.

Rhodez: I haven't.

CAP: You drove a van through her boardroom, though.

Rhodez: It was an accident!

Deadpool: A hilarious accident.

CAP: Wade! *rushes towards him, only to be cut off* Calvin!

Calvin: Not so fast. I have a strict "no symbiotes" policy in my apartment.

Rhodez: Wade's got a symbiote?

Calvin: At least temporarily, as part of his new ongoing. And it's a Carnage symbiote, which is even worse.

Deadpool: It's just a parasite. This is discrimination!

Calvin: Yeah, I'm taking lessons from the X-Men and their Krakoa horseshit. You bring the thing, Pollock?

Pollock: *pulls a pistol from her coat* Certainly. I've no interest in being attacked by homicidal tar monsters. Cover your ears.

*The pistol emits a low hum and a pulsing violet ray strikes Deadpool's abdomen*

Deadpool: Ooh, that tickles. *pause* Not in a good way, though. More in a - hang on.

*Deadpool sprints past everyone into the restroom. There's the sound of pants unzipping, and then a several minutes of pained groans, followed by a sigh of relief.*

Rhodez: Aw man.

CAP: Courtesy flush!

*The toilet flushes, only to be drowned out by an inhuman screech.*

Deadpool: Unholy shits! By the power of Liquid Plumber! *sounds of gunfire and more flushing. Deadpool finally emerges* OK, symbiote-free. But you might want to watch out that your bathroom doesn't come alive and try to kill you.

Rhodez: Didn't Stephen King write a story like that?

Calvin: Probably. I think he's turned every mundane object into the subject of a story at one point or another. Let me just move an air freshener in there and we can eat!

Narrator: MUCH EATING OF FOOD COMMENCED!

Pollock: "Much eating of food commenced?" That's such an awkward way to put that!

Calvin: *whispers to CAP* Are we paying him by the word?

Narrator: YES, INDEED YOU ARE PAYING ME BY THE -

Calvin: Ghost, if you don't mind?

Narrator: NOW JUST HOLD -

*Calvin's bike helmet floats into the air and strikes something*

Calvin: Thank you. Turns out you fight an intangible presence with another intangible presence. Will someone pass me the sweet and sour chicken?

Pollock: This seems like a more violent than normal Blogsgiving.

Calvin: *shrugs* Eh, I think the one where Cornelius showed up was worse. He annoyed everyone, and you were wasted and mouthing off. I distinctly remember people getting his with dishware and at least one fistfight involving a certain panda.

CAP: It wasn't a fight! *grins* It was a beatdown. Pollock was too drunk to fight properly.

Pollock: How dare you!

Rhodez: Should the rest of us go eat in a different room?

Cassanee: *surveying the apartment* Have to use the balcony.

Calvin: Nope, all corporeal fights have to go somewhere else.

Deadpool: Try the bathroom. You can't mess it up much worse.

*CAP and Pollock nod and step down the hallway. Everyone else keeps eating.*

Cassanee: Why the soup?

Calvin: I have a lot of cornbread, I thought a soup would go well with it.

Rhodez: You make the cornbread?

Calvin: Nah. I made the hash, but the cornbread was from my mom.

Rhodez: Nice.

*A pair of shrieks emerge from the bathroom, along with the inhuman screech from earlier.*

CAP: Kill it with fire!

Pollock: You kill it with fire!

Deadpool: Hey, can I add these onions in your fridge to my nachos?

Calvin: You can certainly try, but go out on the balcony to open the container.

Deadpool: Got it, biological attack on your neighbors. Good way to hoard more parking spaces! And, I'll just take this beer I found behind the onions with me.

Rhodez: Hands off my beer, Wade!

Deadpool: It's not yours if it's in my stomach! *tries to run, but finds himself unable to get traction*

Rhodez: I got better with my power. *takes back her beer* Now you can go.

Deadpool: *regains traction abruptly, runs uncontrolled out the screen door and over the railing* Whoo, those onions are strong! Too strong! My eyes! My manly, yet expressive eyes!

Calvin: You're at least gonna let him have one beer, right?

Rhodez: *shrugs* Probably. I'll be wasted after two. But he's gotta ask.

Cassanee: Fair. May I?

Rhodez: Sure. Calvin, wanna get down with the drinking?

CAP: Calvin, turn on your oven!

Calvin: Are you planning to cook the symbiote in my oven?

CAP: *unconvincingly* Noooooooo?

Pollock: *thrown out of the bathroom* For the love of my devoted employees, help me grab this thing and throw it in the imbecile's oven! Aaaaahh! *get dragged back into the bathroom*

CAP: *rushes after Pollock* You could at least say "please!"

Cassanee: *still eating* So could you.

CAP: Please!

Calvin: Not my oven. That came with the apartment, they'll be pissed. Use the microwave. It's like Firestar, minus the moral qualms about murdering!

*Clever Adolescent Panda and Pollock come staggering out of the bathroom, writhing ball of red-and-black clutched in their hands. Teeth form in the mass and snap at their faces as they chuck it in the microwave.*

CAP: Popcorn!

Calvin: *holding the microwave door shut as the screeching reaches a crescendo* Did you just quote Grosse Pointe Blank?

CAP: Yeah?

Calvin: Nice! But, you know that movie ended badly for Dan Ackroyd.

Deadpool: *climbs back over the balcony* And they always will. 

Rhodez: *hands Deadpool one beer* What's that mean?

Deadpool: He knows what he did.

Cassanee: You're making things up.

Calvin: The onion fumes went to his brain.

CAP: How can you tell?

Deadpool: Et tu, little fuzz buddy?

CAP: Wade, you don't make sense a lot of the time.

Deadpool: Blame Editorial.

Calvin: Marvel still has that?

Pollock: Would you all - oh never mind. I'm too hungry to care. Jabber on, witless drones.

Narrator: AFTER MORE EATING, THERE WAS -

Calvin: Ghost?

*a knife hovers in the air*

Narrator: NEVER MIND.

Calvin: Thank you. OK, expressions of gratitude time! I vote Clever Adolescent Panda has to go last, because the rest of us always feel inferior after their turn!

CAP: Hey!

Rhodez: Second!

CAP: Wait a second!

Cassanee: Third!

Deadpool: I'll go first! I am grateful for my new ongoing series, which is being written by one of Marvel's hot new writers, rather than the old farts who do mini-series set in specific points in continuity from 20 years ago! That means I'm still really popular! The X-men even let me hang out on their island orgy colony now!

Calvin: You're on X-Force, though. That's like the CIA, but even more morally suspect.

Pollock: Is that possible?

Calvin: The CIA uses people who commit human rights violations. I'm pretty sure Hank McCoy is a walking human rights violation at this stage.

Deadpool: I'm going to help him find the light and become the cheerful, bouncing guy he used to be!

CAP: When you aren't working for an elite group of assassins?

Deadpool: If Logan can alternate between mentoring teen girls and killing hundreds of Yakuza, why can't I kill people for money while advising others not to experiment on people?

CAP: I think most of Wolverine's mentoring is teaching those girls to kill people. That's not much of a difference. But I guess you can do better than him, so it's OK.

Calvin: Wade did try to get his daughter away from his life of violence, which is more than Logan ever does.

Deadpool: Daughter?

CAP: Oh right, Duggan mind-wiped that. Just wait until someone brings Eleanor back.

Deadpool: Eleanor? That name sounds vaguely familiar. Oh right, that was what Nic Cage called that car that gave him trouble in Gone in 60 Seconds!

CAP: *pats him on the shoulder* Sure Wade, that's it.

Pollock: *sighs* Well, this is taking a depressing turn, and Calvin hasn't even gone yet. Someone else?

Rhodez: I got out of that job I hated. I love my new job, and it's gonna give me the chance to move around a little. So yeah, I'm definitely liking where am I more than a year ago. Cass?

Cassanee: The raccoons' art is bringing in more tourists. It's annoying, but the money helps. We improved our roads a lot.

Pollock: Really? Do you think you'll soon have actual cars to drive on them, or are you still using lawnmowers?

Deadpool: Shots fired!

Calvin: Take the fighting elsewhere!

*Cassanee and Pollock step outside. No one is going near the bathroom*

CAP: Pollock didn't get to tell us what she was thankful for.

Calvin: *watching the fight in the parking lot* I'd say she's thankful for getting to roughhouse with you and Cass. Looks like she's having a great time out there.

Deadpool: Why doesn't anyone want to roughhouse with me?

CAP: You stab people.

Deadpool: Only the ones I hate!

*Cassanee lands a solid kick to the solar plexus and Pollock goes bouncing across the lot*

Calvin: Maybe less of a great time now. Ghost, you want a turn? 

*Various objects float in the air, twisting and rotating in a peculiar dance. Then they settle neatly on the counter.*

Deadpool: Heartwarming. The feel-good message of the holiday season.

Calvin: Uh-huh. Anyway, my turn!

Rhodez: Hang on, I need another beer!

Deadpool: Me too!

Rhodez: *clutches the remaining beers* I already gave you one!

Deadpool: *falls to his knees* Please, Calvin's thanks are too depressing, even for my life!

Rhodez: *thinks about it* Yeah, that's fair. You can have the last one.

Deadpool; Another thing to be thankful for! Now that I have my malty Kelvar, let's hear it!

Calvin: *looks at CAP* Well, you gonna plead for a beer, too?

CAP: *looking solemn* I have confidence you can give thanks that aren't terrible. For once.

Calvin: Remind me why I let all of you in my apartment? *sighs* OK, whatever. Work is a pain in the ass and a half. Best friend in the work unit moved, the other two are unreliable at actually getting work done. No joy there.

Rhodez: Oh God. *takes a big drink*

Calvin: But who expects work to be a thing worth thanking? The best thing it can say is it didn't interfere too much with the rest of my life. No health issues, so that's always good. No health issues for those I care about, minus whatever lumps Pollock's getting right now.

Rhodez: You care about Pollock?

Calvin: Eh, she's fun to have around, when she's only harassing me as opposed to trying to kill me. I went out and saw a few cool places this year I'd be meaning to go investigate, and a couple that were spur of the moment. Got a lot of writing done, including a couple of things I'd been trying to get finish for a while. At least one of which I'm really happy with. Good enough?

CAP: I thought so.

Rhodez: Yeah man. Wade?

Deadpool: *in the process of tying a noose* Hmm? Is he done?

Calvin: Ha, ha. Fuck you, see if I keep buying your comic after issue 2.

Deadpool: You'd give me less of a chance than Tiger Division?

Calvin: Actually kill Doc Ock and we'll see. Panda, send us off with a bang, would ya?

CAP: Oh, well, there's nothing too great. My family is doing fine. I got to see all of you, and ruin another of Pollock's rental cars on April Fools Day. I'm continuing my study program on exorcisms and spirits. I recovered an book of the dead from a weird cult that wanted to open a door to another dimension and destroy civilization. I'm trying to learn to make noodles from bamboo.

Rhodez: You mean where you use a bamboo pole to make noodles?

CAP: No, noodles made of bamboo. I thought it would be fun for a soup, or a pasta. It's not going very well, though.

Calvin: Seems like there'd be too much cellulose for that.

CAP: I think I can cook some of the rigidity out of it! *pauses to look at Deadpool*

Deadpool: What?

CAP: Aren't you going to make a joke about rigidity?

Deadpool: I would never joke about food. As long as you let me have some when you figure it out.

CAP: Deal.

Rhodez: Are Pollock and Cassanee still fighting?

Calvin: *peers out window* Yep. They oughta just get a room.

The Pink Jungle (1968)

Ben Morris (James Garner) is a fashion photographer sent to some South American country for a shoot in the jungle for some new cosmetics line with model Alison Duguesne (Eva Renzi). Except the local colonel suspects Morris is a CIA agent smuggling microfilm inside lipstick and impounds the cosmetics for a week.

With nothing better to do while they wait, Morris and Alison settle down in the humdrum nearby town, unaware they're being watched by more than the colonel. On a lark, Morris buys a map pointing to an alleged diamond mine and rents the man's car to go a larger town. On the way, he and Alison pick up a machine gun toting hitchhiker named Ryderbeit (George Kennedy), who is also after the diamonds.

So the first half of the movie is a comedy along the lines of The Man Who Knew Too Little, where Morris and Alison are treating the whole diamond thing as part of some gag the locals play on tourists. There's a whole bit where they go to a night club to meet the guy Ryderbeit insists knows the real way to the diamonds, where the duo keep predicting that the nightclub owner will look a certain way, and she does, that Ryderbeit's contact will look a certain way, and he does, and that his story will involve a man promising millions with his dying breath, and it does.

The problem being, everyone else is entirely serious about the diamonds, including Ryderbeit. Especially Ryderbeit, who Kennedy plays as having wild mood swings from one moment to the next. He may call Alison a dumb broad one moment for something she says, and then make a joking comment about how she can't keep her eyes off him when she points out he might want to put on pants before seeking revenge.

The second half of the movie is considerably less funny, as the trio set out across rough terrain looking for the diamonds. They run into a man claiming to be the Australian geologist who found the diamonds and says he was betrayed by Ryderbeit's contact, and that only makes the journey more hostile. Attempted murders, betrayals, people trying not to die of thirst, people diving behind rocks to avoid being shot. 

It's not a wild swing because the movie spent that first half showing people were getting killed while Morris and Alison were both joking about how boring the little town is. It's more like we, as the audience, were waiting to see when/if the two leads catch up with the rest of us. Or maybe to see if the whole thing turned out to be a hoax, everyone chasing a phony story.

Garner is James Garner. He's usually calm and drily sarcastic, even when he's tired and frustrated, it's in a, "well fine, guess I'll do this thing that might kill me." Renzi is fine. she's pleasant, but she doesn't make much of an impact. That might just be that Kennedy's out there chewing so much scenery it makes everyone else look bland in comparison. Renzi does seem to have good chemistry with Kennedy in how she laughs off his flirting comments and can put him in his place a couple of times when she needs to.

He's Murder in the Kitchen

It's almost Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and that means it's time to ask the question on everybody's mind:

How good of a cook is Frank Castle?

What do you mean, that wasn't on your mind and never has been? You won't spare a thought for poor Frank Punisher's (tip o' the cap to Jay and Miles Explain the X-Men for that name) culinary skills? Who else is gonna make Thanksgiving dinner for him? His family? They're dead, you know. You're so insensitive.

OK, OK, we all know Frank isn't celebrating Thanksgiving with anything other than shooting some guys trying to hijack TV shipments on their way to the big box stores for Black Friday. But the man has to eat something other than the smell of gunpowder and cordite, and C-4 does not have enough fiber for a man his age (however old Frank is these days.)

I think we generally see the Punisher eating MRE rations, or indistinguishable stuff out of cans. I know in Ennis' run he went to a pub at least once, because he was eating in a dark corner when that news broadcast came on about Nicky Cavella digging up his family's bodies. But at some point, before all the punishing, the guy lived a relatively normal life with a family*. They would have family meals, because that seems like the kind of family they were from his memories, and he must have cooked occasionally, if only to give Maria a chance to rest.

So, what's in Frank's kitchen repertoire? I'm assuming he knows how to make chili, or stew. All American men are supposed to know how to make those. Even I know how to make chili, and I'm about two steps above Homer Simpson somehow causing a fire make Corn Flakes. I'm sure he knows how to grill burgers or hot dogs, his dad would have taught him that. Scrambled eggs, toast, probably grilled cheese sandwiches, stuff like that.

That's pretty straightforward stuff, but I dunno, I feel like Frank would know some surprising stuff. The Tyger established that he like reading poetry, and that his mother encouraged it, over his father's half-hearted objections. Frank seems to be an only child, I could see his mother trying to pass on things she knows, Frank patiently listening and absorbing. Maybe he can make pie crusts from scratch, or he knows how to make really good cannolis, something like that.

Although I could see the argument that Frank makes these things technically perfect, but the food lacks soul or some other ineffable quality. Like he follows the recipe to the letter, but lacks that inventiveness or instinct that causes him to make a slight alteration that enhances the experience. I'm kind of like this, except I stick to recipes as closely as possible so I don't fuck up and waste a bunch of food. If I'm going to burn x amount of time cooking, I better get something edible out of it! Utilitarian, but it works, which was probably Frank's approach.

* It just occurred to me, I have no idea what Castle did for a living between when he came home from Vietnam/the Middle East/whichever American military boondoggle his origin is tied to currently, and when his family died. Was he still in the military, but as an instructor at a boot camp? Did he have a civilian job?

Tumbleweed (1953)

Audie Murphy acts as a guide for a family of settlers heading to California. Along the way, they encounter a hostile group of Yaquis. Murphy actually saved the chief's son at the very start of the movie, so he tries to negotiate. He ends up tied to the ground, waiting to have his eyelids cut off at sunrise, but the son's mother saves him. By the time he gets to town, beaten, minus his gear and horse, the wagon train had already been there. What's left of them.

The wife of the man leading the train, her child, and her sister survived, as did the man's brother. The conclusion everyone in town comes to is that Murphy sold the others out. Again, despite him looking beat to hell and minus all his stuff. Curiously, no one seems to question how the brother survived when every other man was killed.

Then the sheriff locks Murphy up to keep him from being lynched, only to have his deputy sell Murphy out later, only for Murphy to be saved by the chief's son, who kills the deputy and dies in the process. Everyone is so hellbent on catching Audie Murphy for killing the deputy, they somehow don't notice the Yaqui dead on the ground not far away.

All that is fairly bog-standard. What made Tumbleweed entertaining didn't kick in until after this point, as Murphy's on the run and ends up at a nearby ranch, trying to steal a horse and failing miserably. The owner, having been falsely accused of murder at a point in his past, lets Murphy have a horse. It's at this point the chase begins in earnest, as the sheriff's posse does it's best to catch up, and the brother shows his true colors. 

Fortunately, while Murphy isn't impressed with the man's "best horse", a scraggly little white cayuse said to be raised on burro's milk after its mother died, but the horse is pretty slick. The horse climbs up a rocky path none of the posse can follow (Lee van Cleef tries and falls off the back of his horse). When they reached what appears to be a dried-up watering hole, the horse finds water below the sand. Right after Murphy calls it a 'dumb horse', no less. My dad and I had a pretty good time praising the horse and giving Murphy grief for being a moron.

Must be the Off-Season

Yeah, I imagine it's annoying, too. What idiot's idea was this?

Volume 6 of Cross Game was almost the breaking point for me. There is zero actual baseball in this volume, as Adachi focuses almost entirely on the love triangle stuff. I had to go look up the Wikipedia entry to see if there was actually going to be any more baseball in this thing over the remaining two volumes.

It's more like a love polygon at this point. You have Aoba and Ko, who continue to snipe and bicker, but know each other very well. But there's also Ko and Akane, the girl who looks like a teenage version of Aoba's deceased sister, Wakaba. But the catcher Akaishi had a crush on Wakaba, so he's awkward around Akane, while trying to push her and Ko together. It's really creepy, since he describes it as wanting to see Wakaba smile, and she was happiest around Ko, sooooo. . . Even when Ko and Akaishi discuss after the date that hey, Akane knows all sorts of people and places they don't because she's a unique being and not just Aged-Up Wakaba, it still feels as though she's treated as interchangeable with a girl that's been dead for 10 years.

There's also still Aoba's cousin who has a crush on her. Miyuka, or Miyuki, or whatever (Mizuki). It really doesn't matter, as he's been so largely shoved into the background I wonder why the hell Adachi even bothered to add him to the series. He doesn't bring anything to the table as a character. He doesn't care about baseball at all, but that's such an obvious deal-breaker with Aoba, and his interest in mountain climbing rarely comes up, so what's the point? If the scene needs an argumentative character or an idiot, use Nakanashi or Senda, respectively.

On top of all that mess, now the star slugger Azuma lets slip that if he was going to date any girl, it would be Aoba. *slams head against desk* The tiny bit of baseball is Aoba pitching batting practice to Azuma and getting injured when he hits a line drive. Of course, then Azuma can't hit because he's so sad about what he did and he visits her in the hospital a lot and yeesh. Adachi at least draws the parallel between this and what happened to Azuma's brother, which is what made Azuma such a humorless dick when the series began.

Adachi can want to write the teen romance stuff if they want, but that's not the part I'm invested in. The team trying to improve, trying to break through, Ko, Aoba, and Akaishi trying to make Wakaba's dream come true and reach Koshien, that's what I'm invested in, and it basically stalls out for 500 pages. There's some humor, although the parts I laugh at are mostly Coach Maeno's lines. The back-and-forth between Ko and Aoba doesn't really feel funny to me.

Sunday Splash Page #245

 

"The Bug Goes "Squish"," in Heroman vol. 2, chapter 5, by Tamon Ohta and Stan Lee

Heroman was a five volume manga (and 26-episode anime) with the original concept, at least, developed by Stan Lee and the animation studio, Bones. But I think the manga is mostly Tamon Ohta's efforts, which is why he got lead credit.

Joey Jones is a boy who lost his parents at a young age and lives with his grandmother. He works in a diner to help pay bills, gets flustered around the head cheerleader, Lina, and bullied by her jock brother, Will, and his lackeys. When one of said lackeys breaks a popular robot toy and discards it, Joey picks it out of the trash and repairs it. Then, because of reasons, when trouble comes up, said toy can transform into a giant robot, so he and Joey fight crime together. 

Well, they fight a couple of crimes, then a race of intelligent insect aliens invade Earth after being contacted by the wacky science teacher at Joey's school. That occupies most of volumes 1 through 3. Joey gradually growing in confidence, while Will struggles with the fact he's not as strong as he always believed himself to be.

The fallout from the invasion then carries through the remaining two volumes. First, when the government tries to hunt down the strange robot that succeeded where their military failed, then with Joey and Heroman investigating reports of weird stuff that might be left over from the invasion.

Saturday Splash Page #47

 

"City Sweep," in Venom (vol. 2) #22, by Rick Remender (writer), Declan Shalvey (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Joe Caramanga (letterer)

Venom had several mini-series in the '90s, and an ongoing written by Daniel Way in the early 2000s, but those were always focused on Eddie Brock as the guy inside the symbiote. In 2011, though, Eddie Brock was trying to stay clear of the symbiote, and the living tar pit had been peeled off Mac Gargan after his stint being Norman Osborn's lackey. Left in the ever-so-trustworthy hands of the U.S. military, they decided to find a suitable soldier and get themselves a super-weapon.

Enter Flash Thompson. Having lost his legs serving in the Army in the Middle East during Brand New Day, Flash seemed quite eager for the opportunity to serve, and also use the symbiote as a stand-in for his legs. Remender sets Flash against Crime-Master, with his own, new Jack O'Lantern as chief henchman, but Flash is probably up against his own worst tendencies as much as anything. Remender uses Flash's own troubles with alcohol, and his ugly relationship with his abusive, alcoholic father. 

Flash doesn't really know how to deal with problems in a healthy manner, so he lies. He's dating Betty Brant, but lies to her about where he's at, claiming he's speaking at events for veterans. He lies to his bosses about how long he wore the suit during a mission in the Savage Land, and doesn't tell them Crime-Master knows who's calling themselves Venom. Because he doesn't want to lose access to the symbiote, the power, the purpose it grants him.

Tony Moore drew most of the initial story arc, and the character design for this version of Venom reflects that it's worn by someone meant to think of themselves as a soldier. It shifts appearance to resemble, boots, shoulder pads, gloves. Flash is packing heat and pouches like it's the Nineties all over again, using the symbiote to hold and fire multiple guns at once. Don't let the Punisher see that or he'll start demanding an alien goo suit. Flash keeps the suit under control with sedatives, but as he loses control, the symbiote shifts to more closely resemble the design used when Mac Gargan was wearing it. The massive, steroidal monster that looks like it could swallow a person whole.

I've only bought selected parts. The initial 5 issues, and the "Savage Six" story that concluded Remender's stint on the book. After the first five issues, it jumped into several Spider-Island tie-ins, and two or three-issue arc, and then the "Circle of Four", which was some play off the New Fantastic Four by putting together "dark" Spidey, Wolverine, Hulk and Ghost Rider in the persons of Venom, X-23, Red Hulk and that lady that took over as Ghost Rider after Jason Aaron's run. Not sure I'd agree with X-23 being more morally dubious than Logan, but whatever, I'm not dealing with that. Issues are surprisingly pricey, and Remender was replaced by Cullen Bunn, whose writing does zilch for me. 

Also, just from what issues I do own, they weren't great about keeping a regular artist. Six different artists in 13 issues, and while Kev Walker and Declan Shalvey aren't too far apart, wedging Lan Medina smack in the middle doesn't work so well.

The comic never does, in the parts I read, address any ethical concerns about drugging what is clearly a sentient being so it can be used as a weapon without its consent. Even when Remender adds Flash to his Secret Avengers run, it's unaddressed other than Hanks Pym and McCoy devising a more efficient way to keep it drugged and compliant. I'm not expecting any better from those two, Hank McCoy may have lapped Pym and Stark both with it comes to be ethically compromised, but still.

Random Back Issues #96 - El Diablo #5

Yeah, we don't have time for sustained mob beatings in the U.S., so we just shoot people.

We looked at the issue prior to this back in May, so let's jump into part 2 of "The Storm"!

The issue opens on a funeral, and El Diablo being a little snippy with the pastor he visited last issue. The situation of the missing children has only gotten worse. It doesn't start that way, as Rafe describes the city's initial reaction to word of a serial killer as 'pulling together', but that doesn't last. 

Rafe tries to organize a local neighborhood watch with local activist Olga Zamora, but it gets hung up in concerns about funding with the city government being on break through the holidays. So El Diablo turns to the "Los Diablos", a group of teenagers that helped him out before. He wants them to ask people in the neighborhoods if they've seen anything. Problem being, people in those neighborhoods don't like talking to cops, or anyone. The fact the Hispanic segment of the city's population doesn't trust the cops (who could have guessed) comes up more than once in the issue.

Rafe's cop buddy in charge of the investigation, Austin, is pushing himself to solve the case, while Zamora asks him to his face if there would be more progress if it was white kids being killed rather than brown. Which only makes Austin more determined, as he's already worried about his kids, who are mixed-race. Rafe tries to get funding for the neighborhood watch at a council meeting, but gets sideswiped by the corporate bagman, Councilman Thorn, and the matter is knocked down the agenda. The mayor's aide, Virginia, doesn't help by criticizing Rafe for getting adversarial with Thorn. Right, where's Rafe's bipartisan spirit? He should reach across the aisle so Thorn can really land a good punch on his nose.

Then one of the missing kids is found buried in an abandoned lot. The crime scene gets messed up by a bunch of people, Austin makes a dumb comment about it, the father of one of the victims takes a swing at him, the other cops respond with their typical restraint, everybody's angry. The neighborhood watch idea falls apart. Zamora tells Rafe families are moving back to Mexico where it's safer, theorizing this is all a plan to get these folks out so their low-income housing can be razed in favor of that commercial development. Boy, it'd almost be nice if that was the case. Then El Diablo could punch Thorn, and the Mayor, who is too busy meeting with developers to listen to Rafe's warning that this theory is gaining strength in parts of the city.

The Los Diablos are frustrated, too, but Artemio gets a lead on a guy. Lonnie March, the 'perfect suspect.' El Diablo convinces them to call it in as an anonymous tip, and March gets arrested. The crowd waits outside the police station for official word, getting angrier the longer they wait. But the victim had skin under their fingernails, and the DNA doesn't match. March even has good alibis, so Austin has to go out and explain that yep, they let the guy go.

The grieving father leads a mob back to March's place, including Artemio and another of Los Diablos. Zamora is outside the station, demanding answers and implying there's a cover-up, then is stunned when the crowd opts for mob violence. She even asks Austin if this is what he wanted, so I can't tell if she's disingenuous or a fucking idiot. I think Jones is just trying to write her as someone always seeing conspiracies, so we aren't supposed to take her seriously, but I don't know.

March tries to run and is seconds from getting beat to death when, first El Diablo and then the cops show up. A couple of the crowd get arrested, the killer is still unknown, and everybody is really pissed now. El Diablo's frustrated with himself for disappearing so the cops couldn't question him, and fears all that's been accomplished is make the situation worse. He's not wrong!

{4th longbox, 52nd comic, El Diablo #5, by Gerard Jones (writer), Mike Parobeck (penciler), John Nyberg (inker), Lovern Kindzierski (colorist), Tim Harkins (letterer)}

Ride Clear of Diablo (1954)

I was at my dad's over the weekend, and one channel was doing an Audie Murphy marathon on Veteran's Day, so here we are. This time around, Murphy plays Clay O'Mara, a railroad surveyor who returns home after his father and brother are murdered by cattle rustlers. He wants to find the killers and "speak" with them, and takes a job as a deputy to have some authority.

His father's lawyer spoke up for him with the sheriff, but the lawyer and the sheriff are the ones responsible. So the sheriff keeps sending him on tasks or leads that are supposed to get him killed, only to be flummoxed when Clay returns. Along the way, he falls for the sheriff's niece (played by Susan Cabot), and there's a perfunctory romance there. You would think the inevitable reveal her uncle was a killer and a crook would hit a little harder, but not really.

But the real interpersonal relationship is between Clay and notable local ne'er-do-well Whitey Kincade (Dan Duryea). The sheriff and lawyer first pointed Clay at Whitey as possibly knowing something, and sent Clay to serve a warrant for a different killing. Whitey doesn't think much of it, but Clay outdraws him and brings him in for trial. Now Whitey's interested.

I think Whitey's supposed to come off as a little unhinged, but watching the movie, there's a certain gay subtext to him. Mostly that everything about his character is more flamboyant than every other guy. Not wildly so, but his clothes look a little nicer, and brighter colors. He does everyday things, like lighting a match, with more flair than anyone else. His voice is a bit higher than I expected when he walks in, and he laughs wildly a lot.

Mostly, it's just how interested he seems to get in Clay. Whitey is found not guilty after the sheriff and lawyer pay another local, more small-time hood to provide an alibi for Kincade at his trial. You could do a whole thing on this movie, just in the weird love/hate, co-dependent relationships all the crooks have in this movie. Needing each other to cover for one another, but none of them trusting each other, or even liking each other much.

After that, Whitey passes up opportunities to kill Clay, even when Clay literally hands him his loaded gun back in a place with no witnesses. When Clay shows up later looking for a stolen horse, Whitey leads him right to the guys who took him (the leader of the thieves played by Jack Elam), then covers his back until Clay gets a certain distance away.

Then he lets the three guys chase after Clay and follows along to enjoy the show, but there's no hostility to it. It's like Whitey is just really entertained by this weird young man that is fast on the draw, but doesn't kill anyone, who is willing to play nice with a killer like Whitey if the law says he's innocent. Heck, Whitey even brings him a lunchpail at one point when he thinks Clay's still recovering from being wounded retrieving the horse. It's him that tells Cabot her former fiance and uncle are crooks and killers, and he's the one who saves Clay's life. He even sacrifices himself by stopping Clay from stepping outside into an ambush by keeping him at gunpoint and going out first. It just really feels as though Whitey fell in love with Clay.

Unexplained Mysteries of World War II - William B. Breuer

The key thing about this book is that the title says "unexplained mysteries", rather than something like "mysteries explained." So for all the mysterious things Breur discusses, he doesn't have any answers. Was the bombing of the American gunboat Panay by the Japanese in December of 1937 a trial run for the eventual bombing on Pearl Harbor? Who can say? Why did Hitler cancel Operation Felix, the plan to capture Gibraltar? In these troubled times, who can say why anyone does anything? Why did FDR suddenly publicly announce that the Allies would only accept unconditional surrender by the Nazis without discussing it with Churchill first? *shrug*

Of course, the book is not actually all unexplained mysteries. There's a section for weird coincidences, like two GIs with the same name being trained at the same camp, so one starts receiving the other's mail and ultimately marries his girlfriend. Or stuff like Patton (or any number of other people who have seen a lot of combat) remarking that today, they think they're going to die. And then they died!

There are a few that were interesting, mostly the ones about disappearances. Like when the cargo ship Rubicon was found drifting off the coast of Florida, the entire crew missing, except for a dog. Or Brigadier General Keerans, who flew along on a C-47 meant to airdrop commandos on Sicily, only for the flight to be shot up by American ships and soldiers. One soldier said he encountered Keerans on the beach after, the Keerans walked into the forest and was never seen again.

But then you're back to the fact Breuer has no answers for any of these mysteries, so the reader is left with a whole bunch of stories that are either unfinished, or frankly kind of lame. An American oil baron meets with FDR to try and convince him to help bring about peace between the Nazis and England. Breuer frames it as the President sitting down to talk with a enemy foreign spy, because the Abwehr listed the guy as an operative, but the story also makes it clear the guy wants peace because Britain's blockade was keeping him from selling any oil to the Nazis. So he's really just trying to make money, which makes him a scumbag, but scumbags trying to influence foreign policy for their financial gain is not an unusual occurrence here in 'Murica..

'Was the New Yorker advertisement a sophisticated means for German or Japanese espionage operatives in the United States to warn colleagues and sympathizers that the Japanese were about to launch a sneak attack somewhere in the Pacific? Swamped by a flood of other investigations in the wake of the Pearl Harbor catastrophe, the undermanned FBI was not able to fully explore that possibility.'

What I Bought 11/9/2022 - Part 2

Winter set in abruptly at the end of last week. High temperature dropped almost 50 degrees (about 25 Celsius for the folks outside the States) between Thursday and Friday. Not so bad, if not for the wind. Oh well, that's winter. I'm curious whether it'll stay cold, or if we'll get the random 75 degree days in December.

Fantastic Four #1, by Ryan North (writer), Iban Coello (artist), Jesus Arbutov (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Johnny went and installed a "Groovy" lighting setting in Reed's lab without telling anyone.

Ben and Alicia arrive in a town their GPS says shouldn't be there. A town where people forget they saw them the next day, which leads to more than one attempt by the townsfolk to murder the rock monster. Realizing the town repeats the same day, over and over, Ben and Alicia have to figure out what's causing the time loop.

North and Coello use a page of three panel sequences of Ben or Alicia trying different things to change what people do, in hopes that will break the loop. The third panel in each one has a pinkish glow starting to overtake it from the right side, along with the sound effect that signals the loop resetting. And the panels at the top and bottom of the page are only partially visible, suggesting we're seeing just a few of their many attempts.

They eventually find the person responsible, which leads to another few pages of their attempts to get him not to start the loop. That stuff plays to the similar strengths North used in Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, the quick, repeated gags. They eventually succeed, we see how the guy's life progresses from there in another couple of those pages, and the issue ends with Ben and Alicia leaving the town - which didn't vanish after all - and hoping their kids will be back soon. Nice to see that development of them adopting a couple of alien kids didn't get entirely swept under the rug, even if North is sort of sweeping it aside.

North's version of Alicia is more lively than I'm used to. Remember her as being one of the quietly strong types, reserved and calm. This is Alicia makes a few more jokes, her vocabulary is more casual, more modern I guess. It's hard for me to picture any version of her I've read previously referring to someone as "Truck Guy", even if that was what the person called themselves (in this case, it is not.) This is not a complaint. Let Alicia loosen up a bit. She's still good at getting others to open up and able to roll with the strangeness that accompanies Ben's life, so the character is still there, just a different look.

Oh, and also Reed did something that caused a big smoking crater in New York City so everyone is mad at the FF. Wait, is this the same big smoking crater that everyone's mad at Spider-Man for? Isn't that just like Reed Richards, fucking things up and making someone else take the blame for it. That stretchy-armed son of a bitch.

Sunday Splash Page #244

 

"Easy Rider," in Heroes for Hire (vol. 3) #2, by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (writers), Brad Walker (penciler), Andrew Hennessy (inker), Jay David Ramos (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

The second volume of Heroes for Hire started during Civil War and ended in 15 issues. It was most notable for the cover to issue #13, with Misty Knight, Colleen Wing and the Black Cat shackled and menaced by dripping tentacles. Because that's what I'd think of when you say, "World War Hulk tie-in". Yeesh.

Three years went by before Marvel tried again, this time with the Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning writing team, fresh off the conclusion of Thanos Imperative, largely concluding their 4-year stretch writing a lot of Cosmic Marvel stuff. They took a somewhat different approach to the "heroes for hire" concept. 

Rather than the public hiring the heroes, Misty Knight, as the Oracle-like "Control", would hire heroes to carry out operations for her, receiving something in return. In some cases, such as Silver Sable's, that was money. For Moon Knight, it might be information on another problem. I'm not clear what Misty was offering Ghost Rider. It allowed for a rotating cast, with only Misty and Paladin of all characters, as central cast.

Misty had been revealed to be pregnant at the very end of Immortal Iron Fist, but somewhere in the 18 months between that title ending and this one starting, that got handwaved to a phantom pregnancy. This was played as part of Misty's decision to stay out of the spotlight, acting as more of a puppet master than field operative. Not only due to physical recovery, but an attempt to exert control, keep things distant. Of course, not everything was what it seemed.

Brad Walker drew most of the series, although Kyle Hotz drew the 3-issue Fear Itself tie-ins. Walker tries to inject a lot of energy into a book that often has an action movie feel to it. Inset, close-up panels of faces or just eyes and mouths, combined with a lot of slanting or diagonal panels for the fighting that slash across the page. Most of the issues revolve around superheroic twists on more ordinary crime: Drug trade, but Atlantean drugs. Gun dealing, but demonic guns that feed on souls. Slave trade and illegal animal trade, but from the Savage Land. Walker does well at mixing the elements. The base human impulses and the fantastic elements they want to exploit.

Sadly, the book ended one month after the aforementioned Fear Itself tie-ins, only lasting 12 issues. Abnett and Lanning did teams up with Renato Arlem on a 5-issue Villains for Hire mini-series that followed on from this, but Arlem's art was depressingly stiff after Walker's and I didn't really care for the story, so we won't be seeing that in Saturday Splash page.

Saturday Splash Page #46

 

"Second Plague", in Voynich Hotel, vol. 3, chapter 68, by Douman Seiman

Originally published in 2015, Voynich Hotel is a 3 volume manga revolving around a hotel on the second-tiniest island in the world. A very strange little island, with a myth - or is it - about three sister witches who died trying to drive off the conquistadors centuries ago.

We're introduced to the story through Taizou, who seems like a fairly pleasant, fairly bland young man with a head for numbers on vacation. From there, Seiman introduces the two maids (Helena, seen above, and Berna) who work at the hotel, the suicidal cook, a group of kids playing detective and investigating a serial killer loose on the island, a series of hitmen, three girls growing weed, and so on, and so on.

The characters' stories end up interconnected to various degrees. The plot about the girls dealing weed never really crosses over with the kid detectives, for example, but it does cross over with the hitmen. The hitmen cross over with both the demon and the serial killer.

The one thread that does run the whole way through is Helena, who develops a crush on Taizou. So Seiman spends some chapters on dates, but as Taizou's past emerges, so does Helena's. I'm not sure how I feel about the relationship, because while Helena is considerably older than Taizou, she doesn't really look it. Strictly from a visual perspective, it makes me uneasy.

The recurring theme seems to be love, and what people will do for those they love. Not just Helena and Taizou, but also Helena towards her sisters, and the serial killer towards her kid sister. The answer isn't always pretty, and some times the sacrifices made are wasted, but in other cases things turn out all right.

That makes the book sound grim and serious, but it's more darkly comic. Seiman likes to add visual references to the work, like a robot detective based on the robot detective in some other manga (Kikaider, maybe), though his abilities are limited and treated mostly as a joke. In one panel, a character does the dramatic pointing posture Scott Pilgrim does on the first volume of his comic. Helena tries to measure Taizou's temperature by placing her forehead against his, then decries herself for doing something so cliched no manga artist would use it. Except Mitsuru Adachi, apparently. Must be in volume 7 of Cross Game, because I haven't seen it in there so far.

What I Bought 11/9/2022 - Part 1

The elections here in Missouri went about as poorly as I expected. Pretty sure everyone I voted for lost. Badly. But since he won the Senate seat, now our dipshit of an Attorney General is the rest of the country's problem, too. But weed is apparently legal now, which is good for the people who like that. Assuming the state Congress doesn't ignore the results, which they've done on other election results in the last few years. Like when the public voted to establish an independent board to set up election districts in an attempt to block gerrymandering and Congress ignored it. 

It's a lovely state except for all the people who live here. Anyway, comics.

Moon Knight #17, by Jed MacKay (writer) Alessandro Cappuccio (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Cory Petit (letterer) -  Moon Knight does not fight an actual lion in this issue. Sorry, fans of stuff like the Punisher punching a bear or Captain America fighting sharks.

Moon Knight drags, literally in Nemean's case, the two assassins into the Midnight Mission and lets it take the two of them apart. Grand Mal gets buried under a bunch of corpses, and Nemean thinks a bunch of stuff trapped him to be swarmed over by bugs over something. I'm not sure Cappuccio's art really works for this. Doesn't quite carry a traumatizing horror vibe to it. 

That said, I do like the shift is shading or coloring on Moon Knight in the Midnight Mission. The shadows go from a very stark on/off look, to something more graded and almost patchwork. Combined with making the eyes glow, it adds an otherworldly feel to Moon Knight when they're in this nightmare sort of place.

And while Hunter's Moon did die, apparently Khonshu's Fists don't can't die, so he's back. I feel as though it would need to be pointed out that if they don't die, why does Khonshu need more of them? Shouldn't he just have the same two for thousands of years. Why does God need a spaceship, I mean, new fists? I suppose they can still die of old age.

That done, MacKay shifts to the big vampire conference. The Tutor makes his pitch, full of lovely buzz words like, 'Aggressive recruitment models', and 'Postmodern vampiric organization.'  Apparently, being many centuries old doesn't keep vampires from being rubes ripe to be duped by hucksters. Fortunately, Moon Knight spares us from any further chatter by Vampire Marc Zuckerberg, by dumping Nemean and Grand Mal through the skylight, then walking through the door with Tigra. Tigra sporting something from the mid-2000s Jennifer Lopez collection, no less.

X-Men Legends #4, by Ann Nocenti (writer), Javier Pina (artist), Jim Campbell (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Wait, is that the same Jim Campbell who did the lettering on Giant Days? He's a colorist, too?

So Mojo's film plays out, but Wolverine and Shadowcat don't realize it's a film, so they're trying to kill each other, while other soldiers try to kill Mojo. Logan gradually notices that people are filming this and the fact his soldiers keep talking about acting and motivation finally sinks in. During this, Longshot lands on a mine that'll explode if he moves. So Kitty and Logan help him out.

During all this, Spiral is trying to undermine Mojo's film and make it into her own. I'm not clear on which parts are her doing, and which aren't. I assume when everyone stops trying to kill each other and they work together to survive. The blue snake idly watching in the foreground while a rabbit scampers in the background. Ooh, symbolism. That's definitely not Mojo, since his idea of symbolism would be a big red "STOP" sign. Also, Kitty opining that giving a bomb a female name (Bouncing Betty) is sexist. OK, Spiral's script writing needs some work.

Either way, Campbell lightens the hues a bit once that happens, as the first several pages were like someone was shooting through a dirty filter. Pina's art is realistic enough to give the characters convincing emotional reactions, which are just a little melodramatic in how they're framed. A narrow panel of Logan looking up (at what?) as he announces the danger Longshot's in. He looks appropriately grim about it, but in the weary way of someone who has seen this many times before.

There's a bit about the difference in how Mojo and Spiral see life, and how that informs what kind of stories they tell. Mojo puts people in situations, but sits back and watches as they destroy themselves. He doesn't know how it'll happen, but it'll happen. To him, that's life, unpredictable and ending violently. Spiral says that hers is about the story taking a different direction from what you expect, but it always loops back. No end, no escape. I've definitely watched some movies I thought would never end. But zigging instead of zagging is just being unpredictable, isn't it? Or maybe it's just being contrary.

Anyway, the mine, once tossed clear by Logan, opens a doorway that whisks the heroes off, Spiral intending to use them to start her own film franchise. That, does not work as she gets a little dragon fire in the face. The X-Men get sent home with no memory of what happened. Longshot, I'm not sure what happens to him, other than Spiral promises he'll end up in another of her films again. She wins a bunch of awards, Mojo fumes, but is intrigued by the idea of mutants.

Well, I like Nocenti's work because it's always got something going on in it. That doesn't mean I can figure out what that something is. Mojo doing no work, but claiming the credit for what Spiral does, letting the audience decide what happens based on their whims, rather than actually having an idea and committing to seeing it through. Spiral has one, and even if it doesn't all work, at least she took a chance. But even when she succeeds, Mojo's using it to springboard to something bigger for himself. The entirely derivative X-Babies. That's showbiz!

The Bad Guys

The Bad Guys are a group of thieves comprised on the animals that get stuck as villains in most stories: Wolf (Sam Rockwell, playing his sort of typical smart ass who isn't as smart as he thinks), Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Webs (who looks like a tarantula, but is probably a spider). 

They get busted in their attempt to still some award trophy being presented to a guinea pig that's been named the most good person of the year, because Wolf gets confused after he helps an old lady and she calls him a good boy. The guinea pig, Professor Marmalade, proposes that he can rehabilitate them.

I think the part I laughed the hardest at was when Shark (voiced by Craig Robinson) has to distract a scientist so the group can infiltrate a lab and rescue a bunch of guinea pigs. He puts on a lab coat and fake mustache and convinces the scientist he's his father, here to play a game of catch. There was something else near the end, but I can't remember what it was. Maybe the part where Snake actually shares the Push-Pop.

I was honestly a little confused by the fictional setting. There are talking, clothes-wearing animals, but there are also humans. Mostly humans, other than the Bad Guys, Professor Marmalade, and the governor, who is a talking fox (voiced by Zazie Beets). There are still regular cats and guinea pigs around. Given the disparity, I'm very curious how a talking fox got elected governor of a state. Feels like there'd be a lot of prejudice by humans against having a talking animal as an elected official.

I'm also not sure about the movie's premise. The Bad Guys are bad because everyone has always taken it as a given they were, so they decided to lean into it? OK, I can see that. But all it takes is a little encouragement for them to decide to change? Not sure how Marmalade fits in at that point. It doesn't seem he would have lacked for positive reinforcement. Plus, the Bad Guys seemed like they were having so much fun being bad, would they really want to change?

As it's loosely a heist movie, there are various fakeouts, double-crosses and cons. The whole reason Wolf accepts the rehabilitation offer originally is to get them a pardon and then steal the trophy after all. One character is very obviously not what they seem from the start, another is a bit less obvious.

What I Bought 11/2/2022

If things hold true with this week's books, all the Marvel comics I was planning to get this month will be out by today. And absolutely nothing else I was looking for will have shown up. Little strange, but it gives us books to review, so I guess it could be worse.

Deadpool #1, by Alyssa Wong (writer), Martin Coccolo (artist), Neeraj Menon (color artist), Joe Sabino (letterer) - It took me several tries to realize Deadpool is supposed to be floating on a pool of the dead. Mostly because I didn't realize that was an inner tube he was laying on. I thought it was a watermelon foot stool or something.

Wong introduces two plotlines. In one, Deadpool has been offered a spot in some exclusive assassin's club called the Atelier, which I guess will get him really high-paying jobs. The money from which he would just waste on cheap tacos, but whatever. It would be a lot of tacos. However, he has to pass a test first: kill Dr. Octopus in 48 hours. Finally, some comeuppance for Octavius stealing Spider-Man's body!

After wasting 24 hours planning and swooning in front of the conspiracy board from that one Always Sunny in Philadelphia meme (that is very clearly what Coccolo is referencing) over the point of contact person the Atelier provided, Wade goes and gets himself captured, which brings us to plotline #2 (where the comic actually started). Some lady calling herself the Harrower wants to use a little bit of the, sigh, Carnage symbiote to create a new form of life to displace humans as the dominant lifeform. Ain't you been paying attention lady, that's what Krakoas for. Mutant supremacy!

Anyway, the symbiote keeps killing everything she bonds, sorry "biofuses" it with, but she figures Deadpool's healing factor will keep him alive long enough for it to grow and mature. Wade escapes to try and complete his hit in the 2 hours he has left. Octavius somehow did not notice Wade getting eviscerated on the roof of his hideout the night before, and is entirely surprised when Deadpool crashes through his skylight. Deadpool is very surprised when two arms burst out of his chest cavity (Octavius is merely intrigued. You'd think after the whole King in Black thing people would be more concerned about symbiotes.)

Deadpool joining an exclusive assassin's guild isn't a bad hook. Coccolo came up with some decent designs, some variety to the group. Play with his morality a bit, where he draws lines, use it for conflict with the other members as a way to flesh them out. There's potential there, although it's extremely hard for me to believe Marvel's going to let Alyssa Wong kill Doc Ock in a Deadpool comic. And if not, and Wade only has two hours to the deadline, that potential hook is gonna fall apart real fast. 

The Harrower isn't a bad antagonist. Another person who sees Deadpool not as a person, but a resource she can exploit with no concern for his well-being. Exactly the sort of person the audience enjoys watching Deadpool brutally kill. That said, I'm sick of symbiotes. The cynical part of me thinks Wade hosting a symbiote in some constant struggle between it trying to eat his body, and his healing factor trying to kill it, is going to be the actual thread that runs through the book for a while. I hope not. Fingers crossed his body expels the symbiote like some bad sushi!

Coccolo's art feels a bit photo-referenced. His Deadpool definitely seems to be trying to look like movie Deadpool, and Harrower has a certain fashion model look to her that reminds me of Greg Land. Maybe it's the hair, which seems like it would get in her way. Not as plastic as Land's art, Coccolo's better at facial expressions, especially her evil grin. But there's something that feels uncanny valley about her.

Anyway, not a totally discouraging first issue, but also not a totally encouraging first issue, either.

Tiger Division #1, by Emily Kim (writer), Creees Lee (artist), Yen Nitro (color artist), Ariana Maher (letterer) - Cooler card related power: Throwing them and they blow up, or riding them like a flying carpet?

Kim introduces the team by having them stop a big cargo ship from crashing into a crowded riverfront area. She changed one character's name, which the previous codename was "Auntie Ante," so I can't argue with the decision, but "Lady Bright" just makes me think of Storm calling to the "bright lady". Lateral move, at best. Then the team has to investigate someone stealing a gem from one of their storage units and walks into an ambush.

However, the story seems more focused on Taegugki, who is the Superman-level guy on the team. He's seeing visions of his dead mother figure, warning him to stop hiding secrets. Then we get a flashback to him as a baby, surviving an attack on his village by a Chinese soldier during the Korean War. The lady carrying him got crushed by a falling wall, which missed him, and then another lady found him while looking for her brother, and gave him her brother's name. Lee doesn't draw him looking 70, so I'm guessing he doesn't age like most of us.

Not sure what Kim has planned there. Is Tae-Won an alien, is he the embodiment of Korea (and would that mean there's a North Korean equivalent, or other half of his soul or something?) She does seem to be indicating there's something between him and Lady Bright, or maybe it only goes one way. Tae-Won is kind of in a daze most of this issue, so it's hard to tell.

Lee's art has a similar feel to C.F. Villa's, but there's a lot of artists at Marvel these days that seem to be in that vein. Mostly clean lines, not a lot of extra cross-hatching or anything, expressive within a certain range, straightforward panel layouts. He includes some details when the team is waiting to be debriefed to hint at certain characteristics. The pop star with ice powers takes videos of herself eating some kind of fruity gel thing in a squeeze package. The demigod always booze on hand, The General prefers couches to chairs, probably because he's very large. Little things, but combined with Kim having the team make references to things we haven't seen, but they all recognize, it helps create a sense of them as a group of individuals with shared backstory.