Robots and Empire - Isaac Asimov

The last book in the Robots series, so far as I know anyway, set 200 years after The Robots of Dawn. Elijah Baley is dead, but the man who's ambition he stymied in the previous story isn't (Spacers being extremely long-lived), and that guy is still determined to be rid of Earth, and eventually all the Settler Worlds that have been populated from it.

(The Spacer worlds were also originally populated by Earthmen, but the Spacers prefer to ignore that, or think of it as an unpleasant first step on the journey to their currently more evolved states.)

With Elijah not around, it falls to Baley's old partner Daneel, and Giskard, the empathic robot, to put a stop to the plot. If they can figure there is a plot, and if they can figure out what it is, and if they can somehow get around the First Law of Robotics prohibition against harming a human.

One thing that tripped me up on Robots of Dawn was that while I remembered Giskard had the ability to read and alter emotions and to a certain extent, memories, I associated it with this book, and didn't remember it factoring in to the earlier story. One thing I didn't remember about this book is how, to someone within the story, it would probably seem as though it was about Gladia, the Solarian woman Elijah helped twice, who gets dragged into investigating strange happenings on Solaria, and from there, sets her mind to trying to bridge the gap between Settlers and Spacers, to ensure a future for both groups. She's the one everyone believes saved the Settlers she was with on Solaria, she's making all these speeches, a Spacer willingly mingling with Settlers and Earthmen and whatnot.

And she is doing all those things (although having read the later Foundation books, I kind of know it doesn't come to much). But the real show is Daneel and Giskard, seemingly just tagging along in the background. When really, they're trying to piece things together and find a way to stop what's coming. Which unfortunately leads to a lot of pages of the two of them standing there talking to each other about what they think could be going on while Gladia isn't around. There's a lot of that, from a lot of characters. Mandamus explaining his whole plan and how he came to think of it, Vasalia going through this whole spiel about how she could have given Giskard mental powers as a child. Granting that Asimov's books tend to have a lot of people talking about process, in this book he kind tips the scale too far. There's too much explaining, and not enough happening.

I think the key with Baley was, Asimov was able to convey a sense of peril for Baley while he was trying to pull things together. Even if it was just in terms of being befuddled by Auroran bathrooms, or being worried about his career, there was some tension about if he was going to be able to hold it together long enough to put things together. And his thought processes were nonlinear enough that he didn't lay things out step-by-step. In some cases, we didn't even know what he'd figured out until he reveals it at the very end. Whereas Daneel and Giskard are discussing everything at leisure while Gladia sleeps, and laying it out, one step at a time. That might be a necessary approach to illustrate the differences in how they think from Baley, since they theoretically lack intuition, but it makes for a reading experience of having your hand held the whole way.

It also might not help that Asimov is trying more deliberately to tie what happens here to what eventually happens in the Foundation books. He's been dropping hints about a social science that predicts the actions of humans since at least The Naked Sun, but the idea of Psychohistory comes much more to the forefront here than in the previous books. So it feels as though there are winks and nods towards what we know happens in those later books, but they don't serve much purpose other than winks and nods.

Basically, not the strongest entry in the Robots series.

"The cars are thoroughly computerized," said D.G. "I take it that Spacer cars are not?"

"We have robots to drive them."

D.G. continued waving and Gladia followed his lead automatically. "We don't," he said.

"But the computer is essentially the same as a robot."

"A computer is not humanoid and it does not obtrude itself on one's notice. Whatever the technological similarities must be, they are worlds apart psychologically."

What I Bought 9/13/2019 - Part 1

Last Friday, after I picked up some comics, and while I was waiting for my dad (who was very late, naturally) to get back from running errands, I had the random urge to see how fast I could run. So without stretching first, I sprinted, and then I felt a pop in my hamstring and I ate it on the pavement. This is why I should stick to distance running.

Anyway, here's two comics from last week.

Gwenpool Strikes Back #2, by Leah Williams (writer), David Baldeon (artist), Jesus Arbutov (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I still don't think I've adjusted to Reed Richards with a beard. It looks strange.

Gwen enlists Deadpool's help to, I'm not sure actually. Her powers get her into the Fantastic Four's basement, and Wade is either trying to convince her that her idea to seduce a member of the FF for a cover image is a bad idea, or giving her the go-ahead to try it. I'm a little unsure which. Either way, she ends up in Reed's arms and Sue's wedding dress right as Sue walks in. Attempts to escape and/or fight don't go well, as Wade is being unusually stupid and/or random today, and they end up trapped inside a big bubble of Reed Richards. Where Gwen makes the mistake of mentioning she kind of unmasked Spider-Man last issue, and Wade decides to kill her.

Williams writes Wade as being a bit too silly all the time here. Like, if he's going to try to use fruit snacks against the Thing, it would be by offering them as a distraction or peace offering, not literally hitting in the chest with them. Unless it was a giant novelty weapon filled with them, I guess. He asks Gwen at one point whether she wants him to be the voice of reason or the agent of chaos here, and she says the former, but that doesn't seem like what he's doing. Unless he's trying to make a larger point about the viability of her getting an increased role in the Marvel Universe as someone who just shows up to cause mayhem with hijinks. Which is more Mr. Mxyspltz than Deadpool, but people do use Wade that way.

I do like that the FF seem more annoyed and perplexed by this than anything. Well, Sue gets a little angry when Gwen mentions Sue did make out or cuddle or something with Dr. Doom at some point. I don't understand the thing she does with her hands, which Wade did earlier when he thought she let slip she has a boyfriend. But otherwise, they're really just kind of confused by this. Although why they think the police can handle Deadpool I don't know. So Baldeon conveys that well, because none of the FF seem to be fighting particularly hard or intensely. Ben refuses to even get involved, which is a great reaction scene, even if the whole fruit snack thing is dumb. Once they capture them, they sit there and wait for the police to arrive while Gwen and Wade chat with each other in the big flesh cocoon Reed's got them in.

Black Cat #4, by Jed MacKay (writer), Travel Foreman (artist), Brian Reber (color artist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - Wow, Johnny looks like such a tool there in the upper right. What a doofus.

So Black Fox' big plan is to steal all the accumulated wealth the New York Thieves' Guild take as a cut of everyone's jobs. But they store it in some pocket dimension, and to get in, they needed that deed to Manhattan and a book that Reed Richards has. And she's going to do this by contacting Johnny and flirting her way in, basically. I assume the Mad Thinker and the Wizard are kicking themselves for not coming up with this plan themselves. The idea is Felicia's guys pretend to be dilvering food she ordered, and she hands off the book while paying. Except someone posted a picture of her visiting Johnny on social media, and that security guy Sonny shows up and barges in. Felicia's guys chase him in to subdue him, Johnny shows up confused, and then Blastaar forces his way in through the Negative Zone portal. Felicia's bad luck powers are working on overdrive today.

I know I said this either last issue or the issue before, but this is what I want from a Black Cat book. Her stealing stuff, but taking advantage of the fact she's in the Marvel Universe, so the stuff she steals can be bizarre, and the problems she faces even more so. And MacKay is bringing in stuff from Immortal Iron Fist here, which is A-OK with me.

Plus there are a lot of little bits in here that liven things up. Johnny insisting on showing off the Fantasticar, which he designed and built, thank you. Korpse being a Jim Hammond fanboy and insisting Johnny has no right to call himself the Human Torch. Korpse gives Foreman the chance to draw some great demented expressions. That dude is intense. And it looks like the Black Fox is probably in some trouble with Dracula for ripping him off that one time. Which is a problem you face when you rip off someone who is theoretically immortal.

I like family photo on the wall of Reed playing the saxophone badly, based on Franklin's reaction. I knew Reed couldn't carry a tune. Also, I want to know which foe of the FF they confiscated the "Acme Mine Detector" from. Probably the Impossible Man. Felicia keeping the book hidden behind her back all through the last few pages of the issue, because Johnny's standing right there. I'm curious if she'll have to maintain that all through next issue, or if she'll be able to pass it to her associates. And if we'll get to see that when it happens, or if it'll happen between panels and we just hear about it after the fact.

Remember

Zev (Christopher Plummer) is trying to track down the blockfuehrer he and his friend Max (Martin Landau) hold responsible for the deaths of their families at Auschwitz. Max has figured out Otto Wallisch stole the identity of a person killed at the concentration camp, and has been hiding in North America for decades. He's narrowed him down to 4 people, all living under the name Rudy Kurlander.

Problem being, Max is on oxygen and confined to a wheelchair, and while Zev can get up and move alright, he has dementia. Reading that, it sounds like it could be a questionable comedy (I could see Adam Sandler making that movie, unfortunately), but it's not at all. Zev has a letter, written by Max, explaining everything. Including the fact that Zev is doing this now because his wife recently passed away and he promised he would. Max has also made all the plans as far as train tickets, hotels, cabs, everything, so Zev's inability to remember isn't an issue.

You know Zev isn't going to find the right person, if he finds them at all, until the last name on the list, but how things turn out at each other stop add to the film. Each one difficult or harrowing, especially the third stop where it looks as though Zev found him, but too late.

What sticks with me is the times Zev wakes up and doesn't have any idea where he is, or where Ruth is, or what's going on. My paternal grandmother had that same problem her last several years. The fact he has to keep learning over and over that Ruth has passed is gut-wrenching, because it doesn't seem as though he reads the letter and remembers, so much as he almost learns it for the first time again. So the emotional impact on him isn't lessened. I remember that from my dad having to explain to my grandmother that his brother had passed away (except it was about every half-hour for awhile.)

You can tell there's going to be a twist or surprise reveal at the end, just based on certain details at the beginning. I didn't guess correctly what it was, and the surprise we did get felt cheap. Unnecessary.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 8

Calvin followed the fiddle out the window, but where it fell to the parking lot below, he hopped onto a narrow ledge and scooted to the side. He was angry about getting shocked, not suicidal. 

Adrenaline and a desire to get clear caused him to almost overshoot and sail into empty space like the instrument, but he was able to regain his balance as electricity sparked and snapped out the window on his left and into the air. He made his way along the narrow path to the next hallway down, where he found the window was entirely intact. Over his shoulder, he saw his new best friend sticking his head out the window, scowling.

"Aw, crap."

Then the elderly-looking man was flying out the window, the fat end of Calvin's bat taking his place, one slim hand holding it tightly. For a moment the Electric Man seemed to cartwheel helplessly into space, until the electricity surged from his hands again. It reached back to the building, seeming to almost grasp the metal framework that ran along the exterior, then arcing back to its master. His descent slowed, then stopped, and he began to rise back to their level.

Having forgotten his own very exposed position, Calvin watched as the bat withdrew from his sight. Before the walking skeleton could follow, Cassanee leapt out to meet him. She kicked him squarely in the face, using him as a springboard to go higher, and she floated backwards enough to grab the edge of the roof with one hand. As the Electric Man again overcame gravity, Cass easily pulled herself up. He glared up at her, while the Lady in Orange looked down at him, no emotion showing.

For a few seconds, they held this stalemate. Then, with a little more power, he was launched above her, Cass darting back smoothly while he rained bolts of sheer power on her as he descended. Calvin continued down the ledge, trying to find some way to access the roof. 

Cassanee felt steadier here. Only a few AC units for cover, but the open roof offered far more room to maneuver than the close quarters of the hall and offices. Not that she would say she was winning, exactly. Getting close enough to strike was tricky. She couldn't tell that he had a recharge time, and didn't plan to take another direct hit to find out. She stayed to one side or the other, so it was more difficult for him to use both hands, since using both seemed to allow for stronger attacks and a wider range.

At least he hadn't been able to stay airborne. She'd be in real trouble if he claimed the high ground, she reflected, ducing behind an AC unit. A moment later, she darted back the direction she'd come, heading for more cover. She saw his right hand rise out of the corner of her eye, but she'd didn't slow her pace until after he decided where to aim, so he led her by too much. She turned 90 degrees, heading for him as his attack crackled ineffectually wide left.

He raised his left arm in response, and she adjusted smoothly to her right. Just enough to avoid any harm beyond her cloak getting singed, but not enough to divert her. She held the bat in one hand, letting it trail behind her just above the roof. She could bring it to bear in a full swing on any number of places on his emaciated body. She saw his eyes widen, and then the right hand was there, crossed over his left bicep, palm out. She was able to glide sideways as a wall of current erupted between them. The barrier unfortunately redirected her long enough he could bring his left arm back into the fray and she had to retreat.

Cassanee felt her teeth grind in frustration. She was faster than him, but he could cover such a wide range with little movement or effort. And he was on a section of roof with no cover nearby. Drawing him into an ambush was impossible. She started to wonder if she'd been better off in the maze of halls and offices after all. This was slightly outside her range of expertise.

"Hey! Heeeeey! Old Man! You gonna do your version of Fiddler on the Roof? Oh that's right, you ca - awk!" Calvin dropped back out of sight onto the fire escape. The metal fire escape. Crap. Well he couldn't be picky. He'd been lucky to even find this rickety thing around the corner of the building. Especially since he hadn't seen a way to access from inside. Maybe they renovated the building and left it behind?

At any rate, he'd reached the roof and tried to give Cass an opening the best way he could: being a smart ass. Well he got the guy's attention, but when Cass tried to capitalize, the Electric Man flung one hand to his side. His energy arced out and wrapped around an AC unit, pulling him that way. Cass' swing only grazed his left side. To her credit, she didn't break stride, flowing smoothly in a gentle arc that tracked his movement, and kept her between him and Calvin.

Calvin popped back up into view and flung the metal platter like a Frisbee. Focused on Cass as she looked for an opening, the Electric Man didn't notice the platter ricochet off the AC unit he was being drawn towards, and it collided solidly with his jaw. The current coming from his hand abruptly cut off, the upraised arm straightened out and jerked higher on some invisible puppet string.

The tray spun off in the direction of Cass, who let it drift over her shoulder as she darted in and struck the stunned man once in the face with the end of the bat. He flew backwards before he hit the roof and rolled another few feet.

Calvin walked up, holding the tray in one hand and shaking the other. "Captain America always makes catching it look so much easier. You have any rubber coils or insulation or anything?"

Cassanee's eyes stayed on their downed opponent. "He wears gloves. Rubber coils?"

"Yes, and he takes performance enhancers. And I mean something to absorb any electricity he tries to discharge."

She shook her head. "Nothing like that."

"Me neither. Should we try getting the others and leaving while the getting is good?"

Sunday Splash Page #79

"Goin' Cosmic", in Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter #2, by Kieron Gillen (writer), Kano (penciler), Alvaro Lopez (inker), Javier Rodriguez (colorist), Nate Piekos (letterer)

Godhunter came out in 2009, and pulls together several developments from other stories and events. The Korbinites (Beta Ray Bill's people), lost their new homeworld (after Surtur's forces destroyed the first back in Simonson's run) to Galactus in Stormbreaker: The Saga of Beta Ray Bill. I don't know exactly what all Bill got up to in Secret Invasion, though I know Gillen wrote it, but I suspect encountering a bunch of Skrulls who had come to Earth because they believed it was a prophesied new homeworld after Galactus ate two of their previous ones, and a third was destroyed by the Harvester of Sorrows in Annihilation, convinced Bill it was time to do something about the Devourer of Worlds. And because of what happened in Annihilation, Galactus is at a low ebb, powerwise, which makes him vulnerable, even with two heralds. 

And Bill's determined enough to get desperate. Added to this mix is an alien race that had embraced pacifism, but in the face of being on the menu, has embraced war again, and is more formidable than anyone expected.

There is, of course, the usual issue you have in stories about killing Galactus, where there has to be a reason for us not to want Galactus to die. I never really buy into that crap about how he's of 'cosmic consonance', and the universe needs him. If he dies, the universe will devise something else to fill his role. it doesn't help that for all he bemoans his fate (no wonder he and the Surfer get along so well), Galactus lets Stardust run around like a deranged lunatic. It isn't enough for Stardust to seek out worlds for Big G, they will hunt down and kill even inhabitants who having accepted Galactus is going to eat it, decide to flee. You can't tell me Galactus isn't aware of this, but he does nothing. Neither does the Surfer. So naturally there is a contrivance so that Bill has to end up defending the being he was trying to starve to death.

(I don't understand how Galactus can be so exhausted the I'thans' fleet poses a threat to him, yet when he dies he'll take out everything for 42 light-years around him. That is a huge fucking amount of space! Maybe the Surfer was lying to trick Bill. No doubt the overgrown hood ornament will angst about that later.)

That said, it is an interesting study about balancing what you think has to be done, with what you're willing to do to achieve it. Or maybe it's what you're willing to sacrifice. Gillen writes a good Beta Ray Bill, noble and determined, enough so that his ego isn't off-putting. He mentions a couple of times how only someone truly worthy could wield Stormbreaker as he does, but it isn't (solely) him bragging on himself. It carries the sense that he truly feels a weight of responsibility that comes with that. If he was found worthy of this power, then doesn't he have to use it to stop someone who destroys entire worlds of innocent people? He wants to protect people, and he's willing to fight dirty to make it happen. Ends justifying means.

Kano's pencils are loose enough at times, that characters are almost vague shapes. But when detail is needed, he and Lopez are more than able to provide it. Beta Ray Bill is incredibly broad across the chest, trying to stand up against forces even more powerful than he is. Galactus towers (I almost used a single-page splash from the first issue where he looms as Bill's busy fighting Stardust), a massive figure even on the brink of collapse. He dominates every panel he's in, until the I'thans' final assault, when their fleet starts to loom over him. Rodriguez' color work helps the I'thans go from adorable, fluffy little creatures, to sneering and aggressive, faces partially shrouded in shadow.

What I Bought 8/31/2019 - Part 3

It's been in the 90s here basically all week. I hope this is summer's last gasp, I would like to actual have autumn this year. OK, let's wrap up the stuff from August with the second and third issues of Test.

Test #2 and 3, by Christopher Sebela (writer), Jen Hickman (artist), Harry Saxon (colorist), Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou (letterer) - Lost in the weeds, which is about how I felt after reading these two issues.

Aleph is in over their head, because everybody wants something from them. The Resistance wants him to help them undo the future that's infiltrated their town, because they want things back the way they used to be. But they can't or won't disguise their underlying contempt for Aleph (and Aleph's generation in general), and so Aleph escapes them. Only to cross paths with the Repo guys, who are actually waiting for Aleph and all the various implants to give out under the stress. 'Damage is how we get our best data.' The local gendarmes are bit more than the Repo guys were counting on, though.

Which brings Aleph to Bob and his mother, Lenore, who run the town. They want Aleph on board, and they're externally a lot nicer about it, while trying to put a higher spin on the whole thing. Yes, there's buttloads of cash to be made, but this about preparing humanity for the future. What kind of future, and whether it's one better off averted isn't addressed. And after all that, with the Repos still after them, and the suits or whatever they are watching from behind the mirrors, Aleph falls down a rabbit hole and meets a bunch of other people who got lost in the shuffle somewhere. And all they want, is for him to tell them what to do.

Yeah, the bit at the end lost me entirely. Part of me thinks the one making speeches at Aleph is some future version of Aleph, waiting impatiently for their past self to get a clue. But I don't think Sebela's going for something that trite. There's a whole thing about Aleph having spent a lot of time being observed by people behind mirrors, but those people are in turn being observed by someone else behind another mirror, and those people are being observed, ad infinitum. Except eventually you have to find someone far enough up the chain there's no one looking over their shoulder, right?

The part where Aleph's wandering the world behind mirrors, even if I don't understand half of what everyone's going on about, it looked interesting. A void that gradually resolves itself into a maze. Doors with bar codes on them that open to allow vaguely shaped lumps with luminous empty eyes to emerge. I don't know if those are supposed to be Aleph's memories, or some residual trace of some other test subjects who didn't survive as long as Aleph, but it makes for a nice visual. It's the place where Aleph drops this act about how they've always been in control, always been manipulating these people who thought Aleph was only a lab rat, how Aleph just watches everything dispassionately to find the loopholes and the weak points to exploit. There aren't any of those to exploit in that maze, though, so Aleph can't keep telling themselves that.

Hickman provides a lot of different visuals, for all the different pieces. The Resistance operate out of a rundown, ramshackle place, but it probably doesn't have anything that could spy on them. But they also think Aleph's blood is a weapon, like he was crossbred with something out of Alien. Bob and Lenore live in what's outwardly an ordinary 2-story house, until the walls start shifting and coming to life, reaching out to touch someone, or threaten them if they won't sign the contract. The Repo guys brandish contracts above their heads like a badge or club.

There's a lot of pieces, and I don't think I'm at all close to figuring them out, but we'll see. I really want to see if this comes together and pays off at the end.

The Robots of Dawn - Isaac Asimov

The third book in the Robots series finds Elijah Baley sent to Aurora, to solve the murder (or roboticide) of a robot. No one else calls it a murder (or roboticide), because almost no one is terribly concerned about the fate of R. Jander. Because despite the Auroran insistence they've dropped many distinctions when it comes to robots, they aren't yet ready to consider them living beings. What everyone is very concerned about is what Jander represented, and what the solution to the mystery could spell for the future of humanity.

Jander was one of two humaniform robots in existence (Daneel being the other), both created by the same man, Han Fastolfe, who is now accused of causing the mental freeze-out that has, in essence, killed Jander. Fastolfe refuses to create any more humaniform robots, and is the leader of one of side in a political struggle over future human expansion. The opposition felt humaniform robots were the key to their plans for colonization of more worlds, and that Fastolfe destroyed Jander to stymie them, since they haven't managed to create any on their own. Fastolfe isn't helping his case by stating he is the only person who could have led Jander down a path of contradictions and paradoxes that would cause freeze-out, although he also insists he didn't.

Baley is dumped into the middle of this, Earth's future also at stake, not to mention his career. Again on a world where he doesn't know the rules or customs, and people don't explain them because to them, it's obvious. The customs around bathrooms being one such problem, Aurora's strict laws on slander being another.

It's interesting that, for as much as I think Asimov enjoys writing mysteries, the whodunit and why are largely irrelevant. The identity of Jander's destroyer, like Baley's career, or Fastolfe's, are not that important. Because Baley does solve the crime, sort of, but the person he exposes is not the one who destroyed Jander. He confronts that person later, but they suffer no consequences. It was more important that Fastolfe's chief opposition was dealt a setback, because that's a better outcome for humanity, as the perpetrator viewed it.

It's a noir outcome. The real killer walks free, because nobody really cares. The victim didn't matter, only the opportunity the victim presented as leverage. The bigwigs got an answer that satisfied them, it produced a political outcome that suits them, and they don't need to look any further. Baley doesn't have any power or authority to do anything, even if he wants to.

"Have you tried to explain this to Gladia? She might understand."

"Never. I'd distress her. I'd embarrass her. You don't talk about such things. I should see a mentologist."

"Have you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Gremionis frowned. "You have a way of asking the rudest questions, Earthman."

"Perhaps because I'm an Earthman. I know no better."

What I Bought 8/31/2019 - Part 2

I originally intended to go to Freestatecon last weekend, but my allergies screwed up my sleep so badly Friday night I didn't feel like driving three hours one way for anything. Oh well. Dropping back to comics from a couple weeks ago, looking at two stories both on their second issue.

Infinity 8 #14, by Lewis Trondheim and Davy Mourier (writers), Lorenzo de Felici (artist) - That doesn't seem an effective strategy.

The Major's going to die of that bite, but in a few hours the timeline will get rebooted anyway, so no big, right? At least, that's her bosses perspective, as they want her to get back to exploring the space mausoleum. She tries, but her ship can't make it through the horde of zombies swarming the ship from said mausoleum. She needs a better ship and help to get it, so she calls up the guy she met briefly last issue, and he and his crew of misfits manage to link up with her and start fighting through the typical mess o' the undead.

Considering they haven't even gotten to the larger ship they're going to try and use by the end of this issue, this timeline attempt certainly seems like it'll be a bust. Although all the previous attempts have been as well, unless you count eliminating possibilities as success, which I guess you could.

The reboot takes a bit of the sting out of Ann discovering what's happened to her daughter at the preschool. It's still an effective scene on its own, with the little girl for some reason standing off by herself, while all the other changed kids are trying to swarm Ann. The panels focus on Syb, standing in an circle of light facing the wall, and the swarms of kids are just at the bottom of the panel, silent but clawing and biting. Ann doesn't even have to see Syb's face to know what's happened, although we get to see it once, when Ann's distracted by the zombie of her ex. At least she got to shoot him with no repercussions.

De Felici's good at drawing the undead with a relentless drive. They don't necessarily look excited when they see the living, but almost desperate sometimes. They have to get them, even if they don't know why. Contrasts nicely with Ann's grim determination to push through them. Despite control's suggestion to let loose a little, I think she's still holding back. Impending death hasn't really loosened her up any.

Sera and the Royal Stars #2, by Jon Tsuei (writer), Audrey Mok (artist), Raul Angulo (colorist), Jim Campbell (letterer) - That's just a very pretty cover. Love the colors on it.

Sera and Aldebaran, the Old Bull, drive off the lizard guys, the return to Sera's kingdom to see if they can get a bead on where the other Royal Stars are. When they arrive, they find Sera's uncle's forces have taken over, and he's king now. Oh, and her brother died in battle. On the plus side, she was able to awaken (summon?) the Scorpion, Antares, and her uncle believes in her where her father did not. The fact there are two of the Royal Stars standing right there might have a lot to do with that. And now the three of them plan to travel north, but the mysterious hooded folks are going to make their move, since the lizard guys failed.

I wonder how many of these Royal Stars there are. They mention three others besides the Bull, so maybe it's just four. If so, that would be good for Sera, she'd already be halfway there. Although I'm unclear what finding these four is going to accomplish exactly. Aldebaran made crops grow, I can see that being helpful, but I don't know what Antares can do yet, other than threaten to kill people. Which is helpful, but not a skill exclusive to her.

I really like Angulo's colors on this book, the combinations in particular. Aldebaran has purple skin, but a green robe with gold borders, and sometimes he glows orange-white, and it's just this variety of colors that makes him pop off the page. The colors aren't muddy or toned down, it helps sell Mok's artwork rather than obscuring it. I might have given them a bit more space to work for the part where Aldebaran makes the crops grow, to play up the size and extent of his feat more. The panels are fairly small, and focused more on character's reactions to it. I guess to prove that he's not the type to pull a fast one and make poisoned fruit to eliminate enemies. He actually is a helpful sort.

It feels like there's an unpleasant surprise reveal coming, but I have no idea what it's going to be.

The Little Switzerland

The film revolves around a town called Telleria, which is considered part of Castile, but is located in the Basque portion of Spain. The mayor has been trying for years to get the town recognized as Basque and accepted, but has repeatedly failed, to the annoyance of several citizens. Not to mention the citizens who just want some basic public services to be funded (I'm guessing they're far enough from Castile that they don't get much support from that end).

On the same day they are rejected by the Basque again, the mayor's son Gorka arrives in town, investigating the history of the church, and by chance, the grave of William Tell's son, Walter, is found. Tell is a Swiss national hero, so naturally, the mayor decides they should apply to become part of Switzerland. Despite being located 1400 kilometers away.

The whole thing gets increasingly absurd as the Spanish government sends an agent there to monitor the situation. He happens to be the ex-boyfriend of the lady Gorka works with. Gorka's ex-girlfriend works for the mayor, and is pushing for this whole Swiss annexation thing, because it'll be financially lucrative to be a tax shelter. Two grumpy older guys, who normally hate each other for reasons I'm not entirely clear on - I think one wants Telleria to remain Castillian, the other is pro-Basque - decide to join forces because they think this whole Swiss thing is nuts. The mayor has spent 30 years trying to get people in town to speak Basque, now he wants them to speak Swiss German.

The idea behind it is kind of funny, but it didn't make laugh. All the various relationship stuff doesn't work, because it starts in before we have a chance to care about any of them. So Gorka's mother doesn't like Yolanda and thinks he should have stayed with Nathalie. We care why, exactly?

There's also a whole subplot about the town priest have a cache of guns and explosives stashed in the church that I don't know what that was supposed to be about. He gives an explanation at some point, but I wasn't clear on whether I was supposed to believe him. He seemed like an extremely hostile guy so I didn't, but that might have been the wrong conclusion to draw.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 7

Rhodez dove back around the corner and watched Deadpool go tumbling ass over teakettle past her, before her view was obscured by the cubicle wall falling on her. She did her best to brace herself and push back, but there must have been a file cabinet on top, considering the weight fighting her efforts.

Deadpool landed awkwardly in a cubicle across the aisle, body sprawled across a partition. Rhodez dragged herself free and pulled him down to the floor. Besides some aches in her back and a familiar ringing in her ears, she wasn't too bad off.

"Are you OK?"

The merc seemed cheerful, given circumstances. "My heart started again a minute ago, that's usually encouraging."

Rhodez looked over her shoulder in the direction of the explosion. Peering through the smoke and fire, she spied a red hat moving their way. "I don't think you got the little bastard."

"Hey now, no disparaging him on basis of his height or parentage," the merc objected as he concentrated on getting his feet to respond again.

Having no success, he raised his head and shouted in the direction of the explosion. "Not when we can make fun of his stupid Christmas variant dunce cap! Or how he has his shirt untucked, but his belt on over it!"

Rhodez immediately began dragging Deadpool down the row and around the corner at the far end. Pausing to catch her breath - the merc was heavier than he looked - she hissed at her luggage, "Wade, shut the hell up! He already kicked your ass once!"

"Pfft. If I didn't shittalk people who kicked my ass, I'd never get to talk."

"Then at least wait until you can move something besides your mouth!"

"No promises. You see Johnny the Homicidal Fairyland Creature?" 

Checking the rows on either side, "No, he's not in either aisle."

"Rule #4: Remember to look up." Startled, Rhodez did as suggested, and found the gnome perched on the cube wall right above. He pounced.

At close range, Rhodez opted to try swinging her hatchet at him. The gnome kicked in mid-air and bounded over the weapon, then stomped on the top of her head as he came down. She fell to the floor stunned.

Deadpool had regained control of one arm, and unloaded with his pistol as the gnome neared the ground. It simply kicked off the air again and double-jumped over the gunfire towards the wall. He kicked off in Deadpool's direction, but went through the ceiling panels.

"It's like trying to kill Samus while she's doing the worst Mario cosplay ever. Must be a hack," Deadpool grumbled, watching the ceiling for signs of movement. Still 6 shots left, and he doubted he'd get a chance to reload right now. He shifted the pistol to his right hand, and picked up Rhodez' hatchet with the left.

The corner of one panel behind him and to the right lifted just slightly. The mercenary threw the hatchet at the opposite corner, and the panel split, gnome falling into view. Wade fired twice, and his target again air-jumped out of the way.

"You aren't getting away from this troll, David." Deadpool tracked and fired, but the gnome pushed off the ceiling with both hands and plummeted like a meteor. A tiny, bearded meteor. Shots 3 and 4 missed, but 5 and 6 struck the gnome in the chest. He grunted, but kept falling, stomping on Wade's chest with both feet.

The occasional X-man felt most of his ribs break, and one lung collapse. "Not collapse, more burst like a melon, helpful narrator. It isn't the first time, but I usually have to piss off the Hulk. Or at least Spidey. You know, when he's in one of his "edgy" moods. . . Say, why aren't you dead?"

The gnome opened his tunic. Bullet impacts were visible, but as bruises. The shots barely broke the skin.

"I'm very dense."

"You said it, not me."

Annoyed, the gnome produced another syringe. "Through the eye this time."

He was sent flying as he finished the sentence. Rhodez regained consciousness enough to shoot him in the back. He crashed into a cube wall. It rocked from the impact, but the other partitions it was connected to kept it from toppling.

Groaning, then cursing, the gnome began to rise. Rhodez immediately chambered another round, and the gnome hurled the acid-filled syringe at her. It was snatched out of the air by a red-gloved hand. The mercenary also rose, twirling the syringe around one finger.

It was at that moment an old man fell past the window to their left, only to reappear an instant later, lightning arcing from his fingers as he rose steadily past them and out of sight.

The two stood silently, until Rhodez turned to Wade. "The hell was that?"

"Old Man Electro's demanding his own 12-issue mini-series now."

Sunday Splash Page #78

"Hope He Didn't Expect You to Monologue," in Ben Reilly: The Scarlet Spider #5, by Peter David (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), John Dell (inker), Jason Keith (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

This series spun out of the Clone Conspiracy storyline in Amazing Spider-Man, where Ben Reilly was the 28th Ben Reilly the Jackal cloned, and he'd watched the other 27 be killed by the Jackal. So he killed him and became the Jackal and cloned a bunch of dead characters, and some other stuff happened and I don't know.

That's not a promising start, but I've always liked Ben Reilly as this character who resented having a particular morality - Peter Parker's - imposed on him by virtue of being a clone, and struggling against it. This Ben is much more amoral than '90s Ben was, willing to lie or make all sorts of absurd promises if it saves his neck, willing to demand money from people he saves. But he will save people, sometimes.

So there was potential there, and Mark Bagley was the artist, so I was on board. Bagley always is able to sell the emotion of a situation, and he can draw a solid fight scene (although he seems to skimp on backgrounds more during the fights than I remember from the past). It's not so much page layouts, just that the way things are laid out, you can easily tell how each action flows into the next. The hits have force behind them.

Unfortunately, after 5 issues, Bagley got switched to a Venom title, I think, and Wil Sliney took over art chores. It took one issue for me to decide that was a no-go. The flow of action wasn't there, and there were too many panels where the expressions on character's faces looked odd. Where it didn't convey what the scene was calling for, or like the art fell into the uncanny valley, where it's trying to realistic, but not pulling it off.

What I Bought 8/31/2019 - Part 1

The last week of August was the biggest of the month for me in terms of comics. Which, granted, means 4 books, but combined with 2 comics from earlier in the month, equals a decent haul. So let's get to business.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11, by Tom Taylor (writer), Juann Cabal (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - So is that one of Peter's regular costumes, or did MJ have one specially made? I feel like one Peter's been wearing wouldn't fit her that well.

While Peter sleeps off fighting a damn troll, Mary Jane goes about her business of helping people out. Which means taking May shopping for wigs, I'm assuming her hair fell out from chemotherapy. Then the subway train she's riding crashes into another troll. One dressed like a refugee from an '80s aerobics video. OK, sure. One of the backup dancer, er, aerobics people in Volstagg's Sweatin' to the Oldies, no doubt.

That is not a pleasant image. Frickin' brain.

MJ remains calm, helps people evacuate, keeps the troll occupied until Miles Morales Spider-Man shows up, distracts it long enough he can deck it, and then brings Peter some pizza for when he wakes up. A simple done-in-one, which is why I picked it up, since that was what I enjoyed most in the first six issues. And I liked this. I like Mary Jane being calm under fire, because she's had to deal with a lot of crap, and that she encourages May to buy lots of wigs, rather than just one. Although I agree with peter, why does someone need more than one hairstyle? At this point, I'd be content having enough hair to consider having more than one.

Cabal gives MJ some interesting expressions, in a good way. Really good at capturing that way people will hold their mouth in an odd position while they're concentrating on something. I feel like he overplays her cheekbones about half the time. Like you could scrape cheese on those things. Still not a huge fan of his fight scenes, not that he has much of a chance to do anything for this one. It's really more about what she's doing while Miles is dodging around the troll, but I find the action kind of flat until the knockout punch. That was a decent full-page splash.

Dial H for Hero #6, by Sam Humphries (writer), Joe Quinones (artist), Scott Hanna (inker), Jordan Gibson (colorist), Dave Sharpe (letterer) - I've never received a "new phone, who dis?" text message.

Lots of people in Metropolis dialed "H" for hero and now there are tons of people with superpowers just running around like headless chickens. Summer transformed into LoLo Kick You again - looking more Mike Allred-ish most of the time - trying to keep things under control, but is hopelessly outnumbered. Also, there's a plane full of superpeople about to crash. There's always a plane about to crash in Metropolis.

Meanwhile, in the Heroverse, Miguel won't dial H on a damn blue - sorry cyan - dial to become an inspirational hero who can show those others how it's done. Because he thinks he can't inspire. But he can and does, and the plane is saved. But Mr. Thunderbolt's still on the loose with the red (magenta?) H-dial, and there are three more in total he needs to do something to the multiverse. Goddamnit, this is the fucking power ring emotional spectrum rainbow all over again.

Yes, I know, yellow, cyan, and magenta are the three real primary colors used in printing, but man, I did not need this story getting even more meta.

Miguel's arc gets a bit of resolution here, in that he stops worrying so much about whether the dial or other people think he can be a hero, or if it's even worth trying, and just does it. Of course, there's still the part where Mr. Thunderbolt tricked him and got the dial, but he's hopefully begun to address the underlying problem Thunderbolt exploited in the first place. Summer, I'm less sure about. She seems to be looking for a place where she can figure out what she wants, instead of carrying the weight of other's failures and disappointments. Not sure that's been resolved, other than Miguel doesn't seem to do that.

Quinones is playing at a lot of different styles, as basically every hero is done in a different one. I can't even begin to recognize them all, or even most. It works so that the characters feel like they're sharing the same space and interacting, rather than feeling posed around each other. And the part where the pages of Miguel's internal struggle are overlaid on what Summer's dealing with, so that we only get hints of the insanity she's facing, was a nice touch. Even if watching Miguel angst is not the most fascinating experience.

Locke

80 minutes of Tom Hardy in a car, by himself, talking to people on the phone and trying to hold his life together.

He plays Ivan Locke, a, structural engineer maybe. He's in charge of a project to construct a new building and they're pouring the foundation tomorrow morning, and he's taking off to London. Because a woman he randomly slept with after the completion of a previous project has called and told him she's having his baby, right now. And Ivan is, for various reasons, not the sort who will abandon a child he helped create, so off he goes.

But Locke is literally the only person we see the entire film, which I think is taking place in real time, basically. Cars drive past him on the road, occasionally you can read the words on the sides of trucks. We see construction or accident scenes, but the camera stays focused on Ivan as he tries to make this work, on the phone constantly. Talking to his boss, who is pissed. Talking to the lady, who is understandably stressed. Trying to talk his subordinate through all the stuff Ivan would normally do, while that guy slowly freaks. Trying to explain to his wife where he's going and why. And arguing with his dead father in the back seat.

(His dad's not actually there, it's an empty seat, but he speaks to it as if someone's there.)

Hardy plays Locke as an outwardly calm, ordered person. He's used to juggling a dozen different problems at once for his work, of handling problems and fixing them, being responsible. He figures this is no different. He's remarkably clear about what he's risking by making this trip, personally and professionally, but he's still doing it, because he thinks it's the right thing to do under the circumstances. I wonder if that's true. It seems like he's hurting more people than he's helping, but I don't know it can be that straightforward of a calculation.

November's Looking Like a Busy Month

I had so many posts last week, I didn't get around to discussing the November solicitations. So let's do that now.

They're all terrible.

I'm kidding! Only some of them are terrible. DC, for example, has so much Year of the Villain/Dark Multiverse/Infected bullcrap. That whole "Metal" thing a couple of years ago was good as a one-off, but here we are two years later, and they're still making a big deal about the universe where the Joker is Batman, or Batman is the Joker. I don't know which it's supposed to be. To hell with it. Who cares.

Joe Quinones is back drawing Dial H with issue 9, but I'm not sure I'm coming back. Kinda feels like I was looking for an excuse to drop it. Jeff Lemire and Bill Sienkiewicz are doing a Question mini-series, The Deaths of Vic Sage. I'm normally lukewarm of Lemire, because his stories tend to dawdle along, but if it's only 4-issues, he'll have to have some sort of momentum, right?

Dark Horse's solicits say Steeple is only a 5-issue mini-series. Granted, I haven't seen issue 1 yet, so I might not even enjoy it, but that's not what I was expecting. Of course, Giant Days was originally only going to be 6 issues. Plans change.

Sera and the Royal Stars will be up to issue 5, and there wasn't any Test in the solicits. Is it on a skip month, or was it always only 5 issues? The story feels like it should be limited, but it could always run in a direction I don't expect that gives it legs. Vault also has another new title, Black Stars Above, by Lonnie Nadler and Jenna Cha, about a woman leaving her family of fur trappers and carrying a strange package through empty woods while being menaced by some 'cosmic horror'. Could be good.

Antarctic is publishing another issue of that Jungle Comics book, but considering how disappointed I was with the first issue, that's probably a pass. The sixth story of Infinity 8 is starting, with Franck Biancarelli as artist, and maybe, just maybe, they're going to make some headway on what the deal is with this mystery of the space mausoleum.

Vertical is releasing the fourth volume of Kino's Journey, although I still haven't gotten volume 2 yet. Doesn't help the solicits always repeat the same thing, and don't tell you anything about that volume's specific contents. Seven Seas is releasing a Dirty Pair Omnibus, which makes me feel like a bit of a chump. I think most of it is a story David Brothers talked up years ago on 4thletter, to the extent I bought it in Japanese. Even though I can't read kanji, or Japanese in general. And now here it is in English. Ah well, it was fun to see how much of the story I could follow strictly from the art.

Marvel wraps things up with a lot of 2099 stuff. Including Conan 2099. Jesus Christ. You know, if was just a self-contained mini-series thing, I might be interested. I have a bit of residual fondness for 2099. But of course they're dialing up a bunch of one-shots. They're also trying a Morbius ongoing series. Didn't they do that 4 years ago? Lemme check. My bad, it was 2013, so 6 years ago. Yeesh.

Let's see, lots of X-Men stuff. I noticed Psylocke is busy being Captain Britain in Excalibur, but she's still being Psylocke in a Fallen Angels series. But apparently Psylocke is Kwannon, the Japanese lady who originally had the body Betsy Braddock ran around in being a ninja for about 20 years our time, and Betsy is back to being an English lady who is Captain Britain. Clear as mud.

Kelly Thompson and Chris Bachalo are doing something with Deadpool. I swear, I can't tell if these things are one-shots or ongoings. They're all 5 bucks, which screams (hopefully) "oversized one-shot", but you can't rule out Marvel deciding the first issue of an ongoing needs to cost more. Because that will convince people it's special, so they'll buy it! At least, I assume that's their thought process. Anyway, if it is an ongoing, I might have to try it, since the rule of Deadpool is to alternate buying and not buying his series. Then he show up for Blogsgiving.

There's a Black Cat Annual where she's marrying Spider-Man?! Is this one of those weird match-ups against a villain, like Ms. Marvel vs. Super-Skrull. Is it Felicia against Spidey's divorce attorney? They don't have an interior artist listed yet. Garth Ennis is doing a Punisher mini-series about someone else killing a bunch of Russians. You know how Frank gets when people step on his turf. Unbeatable Squirrel Girl ends, at least this volume does. We'll wait and see if it reappears in December as Unbeatabler Squirrel Girl. Also, I think they finally canceled Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur. That book's lasted a lot longer than I thought it would, that's for sure.

I should be excited about Annihilation: Scourge, but it's writer is Matthew Rosenberg, and after the trash fire that was the Multiple Man mini-series, combined with what I've seen and heard about his Uncanny X-Men run, no thanks. But this is only the opening chapter, so maybe someone who isn't terrible will write the main mini-series. Fingers crossed, right?

A Patch of Fog

Sandy Duncan's the author of a best-selling book. He's also a bit of a kleptomaniac, stealing random little things from various stores ever so often for the thrill of it. Then he gets caught by a store security officer, Robert. Robert will let the whole thing go, if Sandy will be his pal. And if not, well, Robert has Sandy on disc stealing multiple things from the store over a period of months, always the same way. Wouldn't be good for his reputation if that got out.

And so it goes, for a period of, weeks, months, I'm not sure. The movie takes place in Ireland, and it seems to always be overcast, chilly, usually drizzly. Sandy keeps trying to find ways to wiggle free, but can't quite manage it. Robert's no mastermind, just an awkward guy that knows a few things about how people think, but he's more pathetic than anything. Even when he's doing the creepy stalker thing, watching Sandy make dinner for his girlfriend from somewhere outside, I never had the impression he was a threat. The tension Sandy is feeling doesn't really carry to the audience. At most, Robert's going to ruin Sandy's reputation. By revealing Sandy's been shoplifting for a while. Which is true. So, that's really on Sandy isn't it?

There's a reveal at the end of the book, I don't know if it's a surprise exactly. There are hints of it in things throughout the movie, and it probably fits with how much more serious things get. It plays in with Sandy's behavior, with what he told Robert about his tendency to steal, the thrill. He likes the threat of getting caught, but doesn't appear to acknowledge what will happen if he actually does get caught. He's a bit like Robert in that he gets in his own way, but I don't think he really sees that.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 6

"Barrier!" 

A pink energy wall shielded Pollock and Clever Adolescent Panda from the worst of the grenade. Shrapnel shredded wires and shattering glass. The concussion sent a nearby cart flying, scattering the few pieces of equipment on it as it did. Pollock winced and dropped the wall, needing to catch her breath.

CAP immediately launched at their attacker, who didn't seem able to react in time. To the panda's surprise, the man proved insubstantial as a shadow, and CAP crashed headfirst into the wall. The man watched the panda's faceplant, then turned towards Pollock, producing another grenade from his suit pocket. "Your hour is at hand."

From behind him, a whip cracked, knocking the grenade loose before it could be armed. The man swung his other arm in a lazy arc toward CAP's head. The panda had enough experience to be wary, and rolled out of the way.

The hand slid easily into the wall for just a moment, until its arc brought it clear again, a piece of the wall grasped between his fingers. He locked eyes with the panda and smiled. "Won't be a minute."

"Is he using time-related expressions?" Pollock grumbled as she reached into her jacket for a large gun. The man drifted into the wall and out of sight.

"Of course he is! Didn't you see the clocks all over his outfit?"

"What do grenades and intangibility have to do with time?"

"Time to call a hearse," the voice responded from behind them as he rose through the floor. He sounded calm, but his targets sensed an undercurrent of glee.

The whip lashed out again, passing through harmlessly as he brought out another grenade. Pollock fired and the canister burst open, revealing a whirling saw blade. The top of the grenade fell to the ground harmlessly.

CAP gawked. "What happened to boxing gloves and silly string?"

"I have those, but I thought more extreme measures might be required."

The man frowned momentarily. Then reached into the floor and pulled a section of piping several feet long, which he held easily at one end. "Playtime is over."

He jabbed with the impromptu staff, catching Pollock in the chest, driving her into the wall. Pollock gasped from the dual impacts, wishing she'd remembered to bring a flak jacket. The staff was already snapping to the right, where CAP absorbed the strike on two thick forearms. The panda slid an inch, no more. They tried shoving back, but the man let his feet sink slightly into the floor and he stopped.

Clever Adolescent Panda took a firm grip on the end of the staff, murmuring to themselves. Perhaps impatient, the Immaterial Man pushed again, only to see the panda bend the staff back on itself like they were planning to roll it up. Using that extra grip, CAP gave a sharp wrench.

The man pulled back, refusing to give an inch. Which is what his furry opponent wanted. CAP used the force of the pull and vaulted into the air, spinning and cracking the whip in the air overhead.

"It's your down time." The man released the staff and extended one hand, waiting for the panda to pass through him. He'd be able to grab any number of organs.

It didn't work as planned. Clever Adolescent Panda jabbed with their free paw, and it connected solidly against the Immaterial Man's. The force behind it, combined with the momentum of the leap, smashed the man to the ground, the floor bending and creaking beneath him. Too stunned to react, a moment later one the lights, its cables cut by the whip, crashed on his head.

CAP helped Pollock, clearly confused, to her feet. "Did he forget to turn intangible?"

"I altered my aura so I could still hit him. Like how I make it so insects don't recognize me as food."

"Setting aside that those two things are nothing alike, why didn't you do that earlier, then?"

"It takes more concentration than fooling insects. You have to make it sorta tangible, but not all the way tangible."

"Clear as mud."

"Your hourglass is out of sand." Their foe rose slowly.

"That was kind of weak. Really awkward phrasing."

"Don't critique his dialogue, just punch him again!" Pollock yelled as she got some distance, trying to think of a good counterattack. CAP's fist shot forward. . . and passed harmlessly through his target.

"What was that?"

"I lost my concentration, maybe because someone is yelling in my ear! I don't see you doing anything!" The panda leapt back, away from another swipe of an intangible limb.

"Whatever, let's just get out of here. We need more room to operate."

The Immaterial Man's smile returned as he sank into the floor. The two dashed towards the door, only for the floor to come crashing down, the wall and ceiling following, sealing them in. As they tried to wave away the dust - no telling what toxic materials were in the walls - they watched their opponent stroll through the debris. As he stepped clear he began tossing a grenade, the one swatted away from him earlier, casually. "You're on borrowed time."

"He's strong enough to bring down an entire wall?" Pollock was growing more irritated and concerned by the moment.

"It's not that hard. He probably swept out key supports beneath it. It's not like he punched it."

"Shut up."

Sunday Splash Page #77

"The One Where Matter-Eater Lad Covers for Batman", in Batman Chronicles #4, by Garth Ennis (writer), John McCrea (artist), Glen Murakami (colorist), Ken Lopez (letterer)

I own one issue of Batman Chronicles and that's because - 

Audience: It's drawn by Norm Breyfogle.

Ha! Wrong, it's from the first Hitman trade, A Rage in Arkham!

Chronologically, I guess this is Tommy Monaghan's second appearance (Edit: I'm wrong, this would be after both of the times he appeared in Etrigan's ongoing series. Probably his first time appearing outside that book, though)., the first after his introduction in The Demon's Bloodlines tie-in, and his first run in with everybody's favorite grumpy, flying rodent themed vigilante. No, this isn't the time where Tommy's pukes on Batman's boots. That's their next encounter. Also that's not actually Monaghan holding the gun there. He's not that stupid.

This takes place during Contagion, which I have no idea where that is in the annual disasters that befell Gotham during the '90s. I know it's before No Man's Land, but that's only because No Man's Land was when Tommy and Natt fought a bunch of stupid vampires. Gotham's struck by a plague, Batsy's trying to find a cure, and in the middle of that stumbles on Tommy and another hired gun. The hired gun is after Tommy, Tommy's after a victim of military experimentation turned into a walking dirty bomb, code-named Thrax. 

(I don't think this is from the Injun Peak Research facility that created so many other problems for Tommy in his series, at least, it isn't named that yet and they say it's near Long Island, not Gotham.)

Tommy's looking to kill Thrax before the detonator inside him makes him spread even more diseases over Gotham, but you know how Batman is about killing, especially for money. And especially when Thrax' immunity to the diseases inside him means he might be the key to a cure to the current plague. Unfortunately for Batsy, it might be his book, but it's Ennis' story, so the Dark Knight isn't going to have it his way this time.

McCrea demonstrates two skills he put to good use in Hitman: Drawing regular guys who just look kind of dumb as hell, and freaky-looking monsters. Eckstein (the other killer) is a horse-toothed grinning imbecile, and Thrax is the misshapen creature with a big lower jaw and lots of narrow teeth jammed together, weirdly long neck, covered in more and more of these little boils or pox. Near the end his face has swollen so much, you can't even tell he has eyes. Tommy chucking that grenade at him was probably a blessing.

What I Bought 8/23/2019

Every time I go on a road trip for work, I tell myself I'm going to use the time in hotels to work on creative projects. Sketch or write, something. Then I almost never do it. By the time I get to the hotel, I just want some food, and then to sit and watch TV or read or something.

In other news, my allergies have kicked in with a vengeance, much to the amusement/concern of my coworkers. They spent most of yesterday saying I looked like I'd been in a fight, or that I needed drugs. Everyone trying to give me pills. I thought peer pressure to do drugs ended with high school!

Magnificent Ms. Marvel #6, by Saladin Ahmed (writer), Minkyu Jung (penciler/inker), Juan Vlasco (inker), Ian Herring (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - When you show the new costume assembling itself like that along all those seams, it really starts to remind me of the New 52 costumes. Boo.

Kamala's dad has a very rare new disease with no current cure. That's a lot to absorb, but he doesn't want everyone to be sad and encourages her to go meet with Nakia and Bruno for study group adventures. They don't get far into that before Deathbringer, the lame villain she beat off-panel in issue 1 calls her out, with a busload of hostages. But it's night now, so he has actual powers of. . . I'm not sure. He makes a big darkness bubble and strange monsters rise from the ground. Kamala's new costume tells her his mask powers all this, and she uses the costume to break the mask. Then Iron Man shows up and tells her he has people working on a cure for her dad's condition, but nobody's got anything yet.

Deathbringer makes a point of telling us he doesn't have powers during the day, but at night it's a different story. Except the sky before and after Kamala fights him is colored orange (see the middle panel above), like it's close to sunset, but the sun clearly hasn't gone down yet. So the question is, screw-up or intentional? Kamala says the mask stores solar energy during the day and creates these things at night, that it isn't magic. That Deathbringer is trying to act like he's some dangerous magical being, at least at night, but it's not true. But again, it wasn't night yet when they're fighting. So it shouldn't be doing anything. And why would the mask store energy during the day, but not be able to use it then?

The rest of the issue feels like the pretty bog-standard thing you get in comics when the main character learns a friend or loved one is sick. But the Deathbringer fight detracted from it. There's supposed to be a point in there about how it isn't a sign someone's out to get you when multiple bad things happen all together, but I don't see that as much comfort or reassurance. Just let Kamala spend some time with her friends, or her brother.

Smooth Criminals #8, by Kurt Lustgarten, Kirsten Smith, Amy Roy (writer), Leisha Riddel (artist), Joanna LaFuente and Goncalo Lopes (colorists), Ed Dukeshire (letterer) -The Shadow Men are back. For the first time, for the last time.

I was pretty sure this was a 12-issue mini-series, but maybe not, because this issue says "The End" on the last page, and it sure as hell has the rushed air of something ending faster than intended. We're straight into Mia and Brenda trying to steal the Net of Indra back from Hatch, with full support of the feds. None of the prep work or information gathering we saw with the first attempted heist. No banter between them and the feds. Just straight to it. They get in, trigger an alarm, and then have to fight Hatch. Who injects himself with something and turns into Red Hulk for a couple pages until changing back and starting to die?

Well, this is set in the 1990s, he probably got into Mark McGwire's locker.

Hatch spills the beans about the whole freezing thing, then tries to take Brenda hostage to win, only to get suckered by Mia whispering sweet nothings. Man, and his fiance was right there, too. She's gonna be pissed, assuming Hatch lives long enough for it to matter. Apparently turning into Hulks is bad for your health in this universe. Brenda and T-Blue join the FBI as computer experts, Mia and her mom sail off to the Caribbean. And that's it.

You know, if you're going to try and cram 5 issues worth of stuff into one 22-page issue, maybe don't waste 2 of those  pages on Brenda's extended Reservoir Dogs dream sequence. Christ. I mean, Riddel had to fit the fight with Hatch Hulk into two 16-panel pages. It actually works pretty well, especially Mia's combo rush at the end, but I wouldn't have minded giving it some more space. Maybe if I cared more (at all) about Tarantino I would have cared more. It was a funny bit on the initial read, because I didn't know then how vital those pages were going to end up being.

At least give us the final fate of Hatch's two henchmen! They seemed like halfway decent guys. Or at least not complete scumbags. They understand their boss is a freaking egotistical dork. Still, at least we got an ending. I've pretty much abandoned hope of ever seeing the end of Copperhead or The Seeds.

People Will Talk

A young woman (Jeanne Crain) faints in an anatomy lecture and testing at a nearby clinic reveals she's pregnant. After she tries unsuccessfully to kill herself by shooting herself, Dr. Praetorius (Cary Grant) tells her it was a mix-up. Her results were switched with someone else. They weren't, but he tells her that. Then she flees the hospital, he sets out to find her, things progress from there.

There's also a subplot about another doctor at the university Praetorius teaches at trying to investigate his past because he doesn't approve of his methods, and who thinks he's got something via the mysterious Shunderson, an older gentleman who rarely speaks, and is almost always at Praetorius' side.

The movie plays with the idea that Praetorius has a dark side, based on the descriptions of his work Professor Elwell gets from Praetorius' old housekeeper, plus Shunderson's behavior. He moves very stiffly, his arms not involved in the process at all. He can send an angry dog cowering under the icebox just by looking silently at it. It all seems rather troubling.

There was a Dr. Pretorius in the 1935 Bride of Frankenstein, so I don't know if the movie or the play it's based on were trying to play on that bit of knowledge or not. I was remembering the 1990s The Mask cartoon (based on the Jim Carrey movie based on the Dark Horse comics), and how he had an archfoe named Dr. Praetorius. And Cary Grant has that sort of easy charm where he can doubletalk  or reveal nothing, and someone doesn't necessarily care. A guy like that could get away with a lot.

So my interest was mostly around the mystery of what he's hiding. The romance between Grant and Crain was largely irrelevant, in large part because I didn't see a lot of chemistry. Even Deborah admits that it seems ridiculous she fell in love that fast, and yes, I'd be inclined to agree. It's hard to feel as though Praetorius is pursuing her because he's in love, more that he's trying to stop her from doing harm to herself when she learns he lied to her later.

I think my dad enjoys it mostly because Walter Slezak gets to play a nice guy for once (he plays a German physics professor that's good friends with Praetorius) instead of some sleazy goon or seedy character. I've seen descriptions of the movie as a romantic comedy, and while there aren't a lot of comic bits, the ones there are mostly involve Slezak and Grant busting each others' chops.

What I Bought 8/16/2019 - Part 3

I'm in one of those rare times where I actually have an abundance of things to post about, between comics, baseball games, old movies, my story, and whatnot. I'm sure this time will pass all too soon, though. Until then, let's get to the last book from the stuff I bought two weeks ago.

Giant Days #53, by John Allison (writer), Max Sarin (artist), Whitney Cogar (colorist), Jim Campbell (letterer) - Leave it to Susan to put her fist at the wrong angle for the bump. Back of the hand parallel to the ground, not perpendicular! She's the Dave Batista of Giant Days' Evolution. Which would make Esther HHH and Daisy, Randy Orton? That can't be right. I despise Randy Orton. Hang on, let me spend 27 hours in a dark room working on this.

It's the final week of classes. Esther has entered some fugue state of preparation, while Susan seems mostly calm, probably because she has a lot more schooling to go. Daisy is freaked out over the rash of bizarre pranks that have descended upon her peaceful hall. The pranks are the result of that rude girl Coralie, who simply couldn't tolerate that one time Daisy asked her to be considerate of others. Unfortunately, Daisy attempts to go full police state after ingesting Polish flu medicine to catch Coralie in the act and succeeds only in ruining her final week at school. Which was precisely Coralie's plan, as she's just a troll. Her win is for anyone to waste their time playing her game. I suppose that's a good lesson to learn, although if a person replaces all the kitchen fixtures with cardboard, you really have to do something. That's ruining the living experience for all the other students.

I'm really hoping there's some form of comeuppance for her next issue. Really, I was hoping that as she walked away gloating either Esther or Susan would come running in with a Superman punch to the jaw, Roman Reigns style. Probably Esther. Susan's diminished lung capacity would probably keep her from doing that sort of coordinated running, jumping, and hitting.

I'm really all in on the wrestling references in this post. Just seems appropriate.

I love the complete shift in Daisy's look once she gets on those flu pills. Frazzled Daisy is always impressive, just for how much of a mess she looks like, with her hair and limbs allover, but doped up Daisy is something else. The dark shadows and increased contrast around her face, the scowling in doorways with glasses you can't see her eyes through. The weird hair and '90s hacker look.

Two other bits I enjoyed were the aghast look on Saffy's face when Daisy takes those pills (and the bizarre little green rectangles as Daisy drifts into the Night World), and when Susan and Esther are getting ready for the dance. We see Susan fighting to bring her hair to some order in one panel, then Esther takes over and in three panels, she's got Susan looking like a 40s film actress. Didn't even distract Susan from helping Daisy realize she might be Cora's target. Not that it helped Daisy any.

Return of the Annual Summer Ballpark Trip

Per tradition, my dad and I made the trip to St. Louis for the Cardinals' Hall of Fame celebration. The trip out was straightforward, with no significant traffic snarl-ups. The weather was tremendous - upper 70s in the afternoon is atypical for Missouri in August, but welcome.

This year's induction class was Mort Cooper, Scott Rolen, and Jason Isringhausen. Rolen is easily the player I have the fondest memories of, between his hitting and superb defense at third. Pity he couldn't avoid injuring his shoulders in collisions with other players (Alex Cintron in the 2002 NLDS, and Hee-Seop Choi in 2005). Cooper played well before my time, and Isringhausen always felt like a highwire act trying to close out games, even though he was a major upgrade over the closers the Cards trotted out in the late '90s (I'm having bad flashbacks of Jeff Brantley and Ricky Bottalico). I imagine most fans feel like that about their team's closer. Maybe not Yankee fans when it came to Mariano Rivera, although you could tell me they jumped all over him each time he gave up a hit and I'd believe it.

My dad noted not as many of the past inductees showed up this year, but given Bob Gibson and Lou Brock are both having health issues, and Whitey Herzog's in his 80s (and doesn't have a connection to any of three inductees), maybe not a surprise.

The Cards were up against the Rockies. St. Louis started Dakota Hudson, while the Rockies sent out Chi Chi Gonzalez, who I knew nothing about, but his numbers weren't good. He proved they were an accurate representation of his skills. In the bottom of the first, he walked Dexter Fowler, then gave up a single to Kolten Wong. Mike Shildt has decided to try the revolutionary tactic of putting the hitters with the best on-base percentages at the top of his lineup, instead of Tommy Edman or the desiccated corpse of Matt Carpenter. Paul Goldschmidt advanced both of them with a sac fly to center, then Marcell Ozuna drove them in with a single to left. 2-0 Cardinals.

Hudson gave up a leadoff double to Daniel Murphy in the second, but Murphy didn't get any further. Murphy is out of the Jeff Bagwell school of batting stances; legs set widely apart and kind of crouching. He's not as extreme as Bagwell, who I saw described once as looking like he was seated on a toilet, but Murphy's at least halfway there.

Edman walked to start the bottom of the second, then Harrison Bader hit a homer to the left field stands, 4-0 Cardinals. After that Gonzalez settled down for a few innings, retiring 9 of the next 10 batters, but the damage was done. Other than Murphy and Ryan McMahon drawing consecutive walks with one out in the 4th, the Rockies never threatened against Hudson again. And after those walks, he got Ian Desmond to ground the ball back to him for a double play. Hudson doesn't strike out many batters, and he walks too many, but he can get ground balls, and the Cards have a good infield defense.

The wheels fell off for Gonzalez in the 5th, as he walked Fowler, then let him advance to second on a wild pitch. Wong popped out, but then Goldschmidt and Ozuna walked, loading the bases. Gonzalez was done, and in came DJ Johnson. Paul DeJong hit a liner to right, which Charlie Blackmon caught but let fall out of his glove. Fowler scored, although Ozuna was forced out at second. Second time in the game DeJong got on-base at Ozuna's expense. Somehow Blackmon dropping the ball was not scored as an error. The fuck?!

I mentioned to my dad earlier I had no idea what constituted a balk (he said he wasn't sure the umps knew either), and I really don't know what counts as an error anymore. Anyway, even after Johnson walked Molina to load the bases again, Edman popped up to end the inning, so the Cards scored only one run. 5-0 StL.

Hudson left after 6 innings, and they brought in Tyler Webb. He struck out the first two, then gave up a ground-rule double and a single. Fowler did a good job cutting off the single to keep Desmond at third. Shildt decided not to mess around and brought in Giovanny Gallegos, the team's best reliever. He struck out Yonathan Daza looking, and when Daza threw his bat down, he was immediately ejected.

In the bottom of the 7th, Goldschmidt his a solo homer to make it 6-0, then Ozuna hit a single and advanced to third on another single by Molina. Edman popped out again to waste the opportunity. But the Rockies went down in order in the 8th and 9th, so it was fine.

In some ways, this might have been the dullest of these summer games I attended. It wasn't against a division rival. It didn't feature any particularly outstanding performances, like Alex Reyes' first major league start in 2016, or Ichiro setting the professional league hits record in 2015. There wasn't any tension about whether the Cards could hold on or come from behind. It was kind of over by the end of the second, which is fine. It was a relaxing viewing experience.

Other notes:

- Right before Goldschmidt's home run, Wong fouled a ball off his foot and had to leave the game. It's not fractured, but had to be helped off the field. Matt Carpenter finished his at-bat, then stayed in to play third, while Edman moved to second. Last year, Wong got hit on the forearm when Wade Miley tried to pick him off first base, except his first baseman wasn't there to catch the ball. He had to leave the game at the end of that inning. Maybe Wong should sit out these games in the future.

- It's "Players' Weekend", and so in addition to the hideous all white uniforms the Cardinals were wearing, their jerseys also had their nicknames on the back. These fall into two categories. One is the shorter version of their name. Dexter Fowler is "Dex", Ian Desmond is "Desi". The others are the more random stuff. Rockies' catcher Tony Wolters had "Paper Emoji" as his nickname. I think he had the actual emoji on his jersey, but that was how it was announced over the PA. Tony "Paper Emoji" Wolters. Charlie Blackmon was "Chuck Nazty", and I couldn't see the "t" originally so I saw "Chuck Naz-" and was like, whoa, really? Maybe avoid nickname words that start with N-A-Z.

- Wong's nickname was "TheWongOne808". He must have thought they wanted his e-mail account password instead.

- My dad stated these are probably these guys' baseball nicknames, but not their actual nicknames. I pointed out you couldn't have 15 guys on a team with the word "Stinky" on the back of their jersey. Then we started rattling off nicknames. Stumpy, Badger, etc.,

- Twice when Fowler came to bat, they played "Hakuna Matata" for his walk-up music. The time in between, they played "Hard Knock Life". I don't know.

- Tommy Edman has some version of "Feeling Good". I'm not sure it's Nina Simone's (probably is), but at least it isn't Michael Buble's. They have a version of this song on The Saboteur, and it was my favorite song to cruise around with on that game.

- The people next me to didn't show up until the top of the 4th. The people on the other side of my dad didn't arrive until the bottom of the 4th. What the hell is even the point at that stage?!

- The lady sitting behind us opined that Paul DeJong would be the most interesting person on the team to have a conversation with, not even about baseball, just anything. Then later she got mad about Ozuna for, I guess, not running hard enough on the Molina single that moved him to third. The throw was fairly close, but I didn't think it was that big a deal. 

- My dad hated the design for the hats they were giving away. When we discussed going to the game a few weeks ago, to make sure we were both still going, he described them as ugly. Then he amended that to, "Ugly to me, you might like them." I'm not sure if I should be insulted by that.

- They aren't very good looking, that's for sure. On the way out of the stadium, I decided they look like snowy reception on a TV screen. St. Louis Cardinals meets The Outer Limits. "We can control the horizontal and the vertical, but not at the same time, which is why Hudson walks so many guys."

- On the drive home, somewhere west of 270, we got into some discussion of hemorrhoids, or rather, my dad started on about this, and how people used to use Preparation H on their faces before there was botox. He said he couldn't understand who thought that was a good idea, but botox is a literally toxic substance they inject into their face to kill cells, so is that really any better? I can not for the life of me remember how we got onto that topic.