Random Back Issues #63 - Daredevil #5

Oh, Matt Murdock, I bet you say that to all the girls. Wait, you do? Part of a court-ordered settlement? Yikes.

Last time we looked at Mark Waid and Chris Samnee's Daredevil, Foggy found he he had cancer. In this issue, he dies. But not of cancer!

At this point, Matt and Kirsten McDuffie are operating a law firm in San Francisco, since Matt got disbarred for committing perjury that time he insisted he wasn't Daredevil under oath. And the world at large believes Foggy Nelson is dead, but we know he isn't. This issue explains that.

Sometime before the move out west, Hank Pym's running around inside Foggy blasting any circulating tumor cells he comes across, to try and keep the cancer from spreading. Meanwhile, Matt and Foggy are walking in the park, discussing Matt's decision to admit he's Daredevil, and how this puts Foggy in danger. So Matt wants Foggy to pretend to die of cancer, and continue his treatments in secret.

Matt admits Foggy's family will hate him, and there'll be some explaining to do, but he's sure it'll be fine. Iron Man and Spider-Man are presumed dead all the time. Foggy notes they die big, while he's just going to die.

 

At which point the All-New, Fantastic Frog-Man attacks. Or is it the All-New, Leviathan Leapfrog. Either way, it's a big frog-mech now - expect the Runaways to show up and steal that thing - with mini-guns and chainsaws. And it's after Foggy. Daredevil pursues it into a crowded city street, at which point the pilot tries to bail, fighting desperately to get away. Because there's a bomb in the mech. 

Matt's already freed Foggy, and tells him he's the only one close enough to pilot the suit away and save everyone. So Foggy leaps it into the sky, and gets blown up. Or not, because Hank Pym was listening in and shrank Foggy to subatomic size, then they hitched a ride on some falling debris and drifted more or less gently onto a roof. Ta-da, instant fake heroic death!

 

The truth comes out eventually as part of a big thing with the Owl and the Shroud near the tail end of this run. Charles Soule somehow puts the secret identity genie back in the bottle, I don't know how. I was more annoyed Matt was not only back in New York, in a costume that was depressingly familiar to his '90s, Jack Batlin period costume, but also working for the District Attorney's office. Helping the city imprison people instead of helping keep them out. Delightful.

[3rd longbox, 133rd comic. Daredevil (vol. 4) #5, by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee (storytellers), Javier Rodriguez (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)]

Monkey Business

Cary Grant's a chemist work on a formula for a revitalizing tonic. His boss (Charles Coburn) is eagerly awaiting a successful formula so he can make a play on his airheaded secretary (Marilyn Monroe). He thinks he's figured it out, but really one of the test chimps mixed a bunch of stuff together while left unattended and dumped it in the water cooler. That concoction does make people feel young, and the more he or his wife (Ginger Rogers) unwittingly drink, the younger they behave. It does have the unfortunate side effect of almost throwing a monkey wrench in their marriage, as things they say or do while under the influence have effects that carry forward, mostly in regards to a lawyer friend of Rogers, who clearly wants to break up the marriage.

It's a good comedy, I think because most of the main characters behave with a certain amount of dignity most of the time, so watching them behave foolishly, and really commit to it, works. Even when Grant's playing an absent-minded professor, he still carries himself such that watching him do cartwheels, or take a pratfall while rollerskating with Monroe is just funny. The same with Rogers, who is a mature, loving, helpful lady, but once she drinks the water she starts slipping goldfish down Coburn's pants or jitterbugging up a storm.

Although the funniest bit to me might have been Grant enlisting the neighborhood children to help him capture and scalp the lawyer. Watching Grant hop around with the kids whooping, then shouting, "Jeepers, it's the cops!" and fleeing into the woods is pretty funny. Well, Grant and Rogers' brief paint fight is in the running.

Monroe doesn't get much of a role, the stereotypical bubblehead, who shows up before 9 am because her boss told her to work on her "punctuation". Watching Rogers get wound up about her when she's on the potion is amusing, but Monroe doesn't get to really do anything in response.

Reflections of a Teenage Bat - Spellbinder

I've been kicking around the notion of looking at what Terry McGinnis' most common villains reflect about him since I bought the box sets of Batman Beyond from a coworker of Alex during his years in the Town He Tries to Forget. That was a decade ago, and I just kept putting it off. 

There's three villains that show up three times in the 52 episodes. Maybe four, because I don't remember Shriek showing up a third time, but the episode summaries insist there's one where he buried Batman alive and Bruce and Max have to find him. So maybe I'll get to him, but let's talk about Spellbinder.

Spellbinder's shtick in Batman Beyond is basically he's a disgruntled civil servant. More specifically, a school psychiatrist who gets fed up with listening to teenagers talk about the problems their rich parents will fix while he works for relative peanuts. So instead of using hypnosis to help them reach the root of their problems, he uses it to let them experience their fantasies, while they're actually committing crimes for him. When that first scheme fails, he tries a VR interactive experience thing that is highly addictive, so they'll willingly steal to pay for another turn. His third appearance, he gives up on getting people to steal for him, and instead tricks the police into thinking Batman killed Mad Stan (we'll probably get to Mad Stan the next time I do one of these).

Terry's thing is that he had a lot of anger about a lot of stuff. Probably the failure of his parents' marriage, certainly about his father Warren's willingness to be the good corporate drone and eat shit with a smile. Then Warren's murdered, because he was going to stand up and do the right thing, and there's even more anger. And Terry ultimately, once he's gotten his hands on Batman's suit, uses it and his anger to fight crime. Protect people from people with power who try to abuse it.

Spellbinder obviously took his grudge and his power and used it for himself, which is Villainy 101. He's also a twisted reflection of both Terry's father figures. Warren McGinnis in the sense that both of them are ultimately workers beholden to higher authorities. Spellbinder worked at a school. He's got rules and regulations he's gotta follow. Every few months, he's probably gotta bring something to put out in the break room. Chip in for community coffee even if he doesn't drink it. Be there for school dances and shit.

Terry's dad is a researcher, and a good one. But at the end of the day, he works for Wayne-Powers, and so he answers to a shitbag like Derek Powers. He doesn't have much control over his life. He's forced to do ethically questionable things or risk his job (or his family's well-being.) Warren decided to stand up against his boss, while Spellbinder decided to punch down at his patients. Differing responses to the pressure of being a cog in the machine.

Bruce Wayne is no cog. He's either the one controlling the machine, or by the time the series begins, a person with enough money to remove himself from the mess entirely. But Spellbinder mirrors Wayne in that he manipulates teenagers to do shit for him. His first two appearances are both about Spellbinder getting high school kids to steal for him, so he doesn't have to be at risk. Bruce isn't Batman anymore because he couldn't hack it. Because he didn't think he could actually protect people without becoming something he despised (a killer), not because he wasn't willing to risk himself. And Terry approached him, which makes a difference. 

But Bruce definitely understands what makes Terry tick, and he certainly uses that to his advantage. Terry wanted the chance to bring his father's killer to justice, and he got that chance because Bruce Wayne let him use the suit. Just as Spellbinder can use what he knows about his students to make illusions or hypnotic suggestions that are most effective on them. Terry works better when he has something to push back against, so Bruce is in his ear all the time, giving him that something if nothing else is available. Maybe Terry would have gone off the rails badly without that opportunity, and so Wayne is ultimately looking out for him, while Spellbinder doesn't give a damn about people who are supposed to be able to trust him to help.

Although there's also that episode of Justice League Unlimited where Terry has been Batman for years and is clearly chafing under Bruce forcing him to keep secrets from Dana and do everything Bruce's ways. A universe where Bruce Wayne is a bitter, lonely old man estranged from every former love and protege, with a Gotham even shittier than his was. Basically defeated on every conceivable level. So maybe Bruce isn't looking out for Terry, and is using him as much as Spellbinder does. 

But that episode also said Terry was genetically Bruce's son due to some bullshit Amanda Waller set up to try and make sure there was always a Batman, and that's honestly better left shoved into a dustbin and forgotten.

The third episode is really more about Barbara Gordon as Commissioner, and her doubts about both Bruce and Terry. She knows Terry's Batman, knows why he's Batman. Knows about his anger issues in the past. Knows from experience how Bruce Wayne can twist people around and drive them until they burn out. So it's not hard for her to think Terry could go too far and kill a bad guy. Still, Spellbinder's shifted his style a bit. Still manipulating others, but instead of targeting the relatively powerless, who inevitably lead the authorities (or Batman) right to him, he targets the authorities to send them to Batman. Plays off the fear of vigilantes. Sure, it's fun to see someone in a costume saving lives and punching bad guys, but that's only as long as you agree with who they're punching, and how much damage they're doing. It doesn't take far to tip the perception from "costumed do-gooder" to "loose cannon."

Spellbinder's ultimately the guy with no power for years, feeling put upon and powerless, who then abuses his power as soon as he gets some. (Pretty sure Darkseid made a demonstration like that once on Apokolips by turning his slaves into overseers.) The kind of person teenagers suspect most adults are; ostensibly there to help, but really there to control and condescend to them.

In the Electric Mist

Tommy Lee Jones as a recovering alcoholic cop in Louisiana, investigating the brutal murder of a young woman. Which also ends up tying in to the murder of a black man decades ago, when his body is discovered by an actor during the shooting of a no doubt highly inaccurate Civil War movie. John Goodman's in there as, a former criminal of some sort, who now is getting movies made in Louisiana and figures he's hot stuff now.

It's mostly a typical murder mystery. Detective flails about trying to put pieces together. John Goodman tries to use his influence (money talks) to derail the investigation, and when that fails, people start dying. Potential witnesses, helpful detectives, innocent bystanders. I think it mostly pulls the different plot threads together well. The decades old death never falls out of the story entirely, as Jones will periodically speak to someone about it that leads him a little further on his way.

The unusual bit is partway through, Jones gets a soda dosed with LSD and starts seeing a Confederate general who basically tells him not to lose heart. It continues long after the drugs are likely out of his system. This is apparently a sort of development common to the series of books this is based on. I don't know how much it works here. It is sort of funny the Confederate keeps trying to be supportive, and Jones mostly just thinks he must be nuts to be seeing this guy.

There's sort of a subplot with the actor that found the murdered black man being an active alcoholic trying to be pals and just making an ass of himself all the time. That subplot peters out partway until the very end when the movie does one of those, "so-and-so went on to blahblahblah" bits. Frances McDormand plays Jones' wife, but she seems stuck playing the concerned spouse of a cop we get in most movies of this sort. Not a role with much meat on it.

What I Bought 6/12/2021

Well, it's been summer weather here for over a week now and I completely hate it. But what else is new? I knew I was going to hate the heat and humidity once it arrived, and I do. In other news, this month is all over the map on comics. Four I wanted the first week, one last week, nothing this week. Which should mean 7 the last two weeks of the month, hopefully. So here's the one from last week, and one from two weeks ago.

Freak Snow #1, by Kevin Roditeli (writer) and Robin Cannon (writer/artist/letterer) - That definitely looks like someone I want carrying a firearm. Unfrozen Slack-Jawed Yokel.

Set in some iceworld apocalypse, the story focuses on Berny, who has somehow survived, drinks a cocktail of beer and the blood of something called a Smarg, and talks to a beer can and an old cartoon robot toy. He claims he fought three guys, but they were actually women, and one of them was the daughter he thought got eaten by a Smarg 8 years ago, and she shot him, but she's alive, so that's good.

The beer can raises the possibility that Berny's memories of his wife and child's deaths my be inaccurate, and they can't very well have a woman-killer as part of the woman-protecting defense force. He's got to prove he's innocent. The robot's cartoon apparently had an episode with a "hole of truth", and Berny's sure he knows where one of those is, so they go there and he jumps into it.

This wasn't quite what I was expecting. Not in a bad sense, just more focused on the disintegration of a single person than I thought it would be. It might be funny, if Berny wasn't so pathetic, a wild-eyed, wobbly-looking shell of a person. Cannon's art style is very loose, like a much more exaggerated Kyle Baker, maybe. At times, I think he's using continuous contour line drawing, where the person draws without ever lifting the pencil. (I remembered that was a thing, but I had to look the term up). Huge, uneven eyes and skin folds that run into jawlines. It's like a scribble that managed to pull itself into a coherent drawing through gravity. 

It certainly works for making Berny look unhinged, but sometimes I can't entirely tell what's going on. When Cannon whites out an area to show the flight of a bullet, or smoke drifting from a gun. I guess you could argue that Berny's perceptions of things is pretty sketchy, so it should be a mess.

Iron Fist: Heart of the Dragon #6, by Larry Hama (writer), David Wachter (artist), Neeraj Menon (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - Ah, I see the Wakandans have perfected their boob armor. State of the art, no doubt.

The heroes' attempt to stop the undead dragon's not going well. Okoye needs a little more power, which means, yep, the baby dragon has to die, too. Then Danny goes ahead and gives her the Iron Fist chi while he's at it. Cripes, he passes that stuff around like it's a common cold. Okoye kills the dragon, but here's the Heirophant, but she kills him as well, after making a comment about how her hubris may kill her. But then she just stabs him with the spear and punches him the chest with the Iron Fist, so I'm not sure what that realization did for her. Get her to wait for him to attack, rather than charge in?

Day is saved, dragon hearts return to their cities, Gork is reborn as an egg. The Brenda lady is left blinded and still swearing vengeance, but Danny won't let her be killed. OK, not sure what Hama's point was using her at all. She didn't really do anything of significance, since Taskmaster could clearly have killed the dragons just as easily. She never got any sort of a showdown with Danny.

Danny tells Okoye she can't give him the Iron Fist back which, bullshit. Danny's taken it back from people in the past, so clearly if he gave it to her, she can give it to him. But, sure fine, whatever. She gives the chi to the egg that'll hatch as Gork one of these days, and Danny's apparently done being Iron Fist now. Right, pull the other one. There's been at least three other mini-series where Danny either loses the Iron Fist, or has lost it, or lost his purpose in the last 20 years. 

 

Man, I was so excited about this mini-series after the first issue, and it let me down so, so badly. I've mentioned multiple times the way there seems to be a lot of pointless running around, but I do not see what Hama's going for at all here. Take the Fist off Danny? I thought Kaare Andrews' Iron Fist series already did that 7 years ago, or at least Pei was the one training to be Iron Fist and Danny was her teacher. That was definitely the impression I got when they showed up in Black Cat, with Pei socking Beetle all over the place and calling Danny "Thunderer".

Sunday Splash Page #170

 

"Never Tell Him the Odds," in Down, Set, Fight!, by Chad Bowers and Chris Sims (writers), Scott Kowalchuk (artist/colorist), Josh Krach (letterer)

Released early in 2014, Down, Set, Fight! is the story of former football player Chuck Fairlane, who was banned from the game for punching out a mascot who chose to taunt him at the wrong moment. Settled into life as a high school football coach, Chuck gets attacked by a mascot one day. It turns out there's been a string of these attacks on famous athletes, and that there's a lot of betting on them going on. Which means someone's orchestrating it, and Chuck has a good idea who.

I think this whole thing was based around the idea of athletes fighting mascots, which is not entirely unheard of here in the States. I think Brook and Robin Lopez in the NBA have (mock)terrorized mascots for years. Chuck's also dealing with a manipulative, abusive creep of a father. He hates the guy, but his father consistently finds ways to make sure that Chuck winning helps him win, too. Which is why he originally punched out the mascot. His dad just had to let him know that he'd goaded Chuck into winning a game he was ready to give up on. That's an ugly feeling, when you can't even enjoy your successes because the worst person possible also benefited.

There's a high school football player Chuck tries to encourage in good ways, and an FBI agent who seems to be there for exposition and when the plot requires a way for Chuck to avoid legal repercussions for the stuff he does. But really, this is Chuck and his dad's story.

Kowalchuk's art has a heavy line, and he soften it with his color work, or make it heavier when necessary. Sometimes I see a bit of Keith Giffen in his characters' faces (though this is definitely not a comic that goes in for 9-panel grids), other times a bit of Rich Burchett. The fights have an old-school superhero style to them. Heavy impacts, big feats of strength (I almost went with the page of Chuck suplexing one of those Chinese New Year dragons full of people) but the violence isn't graphic or anything. A bear mascot slashes Chuck across the chest, but there's no blood. That kind of thing.

Random Back Issues #62 - The Mighty Thor #379

I know, just six weeks after the last time we looked at Simonson's Thor run we're back again. We're almost to the end of it now. Thor's just narrowly avoided getting thrashed by some frost giants Loki was collaborating with. Not killed, because Hela's cursed him to be easily injured, never heal, and never die. Meaning no death in battle for Thor. He'd almost given in to despair, but seeing his brother fight an entire horde of frost giants got him moving and he finished his new armor and saved the day.

So Loki wakes up to trashed citadel, no frost giants, no Iceman (who he abducted as part of his scheme) and no Thor. His magic gets the walls to tell him what happened and he predictably throws a hissy fit over Thor saving his life. I mean, it was a terrible idea on Thor's part, but Loki could try bearing it with grace. Instead, he searches for Grundroth and his frost giants, who have traveled to Earth to awaken the Midgard Serpent. It's supposed to die in a final battle with Thor, but with the thunder god being weakened, they figure it can be convinced to take a run at him and break its fate.

 

Loki actually thinks that's not a bad plan, and leaves them to it, focusing on his own plan to get revenge on them instead. Which involves going to some mountain peak on Earth and retrieving a pile of melted metal. The purpose of that becomes clear in two issues.

In Asgard, everyone has fallen prey to a mysterious plague except for the dark elf Kurse, who's fought Thor a couple of times in this run, but is just sort of hanging around right now, and Mick and Kevin. They're two mortal kids Thor brought here after they were orphaned thanks to Justice Peace of the Time Variance Authority (in one of the weakest stories of Simonson's run), who were adopted by Volstaag. Kurse won't speak, but he helps the children reach "President Balder", who's also sick, but has a vial on him Odin's ravens give to the boys. Who have no idea what to do, because they don't speak bird. What are they teaching kids in Midgardian schools these days, when they no longer understand ravenspeak?

Grundroth uses one of his own as the worm on the line for the Midgard Serpent, but instead pull up an all-orange Fin Fang Foom. Neither party is impressed by the other, but after Grundroth declares Mjolnir, 'would make fishbait out of YOU!!', Foom decides to see if this Thor is an actual challenge. Thor's in a park after returning Iceman to X-Factor headquarters, considering how his only chance of getting the curse undone is to go confront Hela. Which he barely managed the last time at full strength, with a whole legion of Asgardian warriors at his back, and it still took Skurge's sacrifice to pull it off. The odds this doesn't end with him a shattered wreck, tormented by Hela and all the foes he's slain for an eternity are not great.

FFF nearly stomps him, then apologizes for a case of mistaken identity. He thought he recognized the cape, you see. This leads to an extended conversation where Thor pretends to be someone else, claiming to be 'familiar with most of the other wearers of such capes.' He eventually refers to himself as 'an extremely local version of a tactical nuclear weapon,' aka a super-hero. He shows he's strong enough to lift Foom's foot, something only managed one other time according to FFF, and the dragon agrees to fly them somewhere else for their battle. 

 

There's a page of debate about what aphorisms are, the value of symbols and what one believes in. It's kind of odd how casual the whole thing is. I'd suspect Thor recognizes his opponent's true identity,  but I guess the dragon is just cocky. They reach a secluded spot, and "Fin Fang Foom" reveals himself as the Midgard Serpent. He proclaims he exists in the deeps of time beyond the reach of clocks, and that's where they are now. On cue, time stops for everyone except the two of them, and the giants, who hurry to see the battle. The Serpent apologizes for having not asked the poor warrior's name, but assures him that once he's dead, Jormungand will assume another illusion and gather all his loved ones to hear their lamentations. What a nice dragon.

Thor's response is he has plenty of names, too, but the one that matters is 'THOR ODINSON the Thunderer, Jormungand's Fear!' The weigh-ins, ring promos, and entrance music complete, it's time for the championship bout. But that's saved for the next issue, which is the all-splash page throwdown, the final issue of the run Walt Simonson draws himself. I think he was drawing X-Factor concurrent with this, so Sal Buscema had been drawing more and more of the issues for a while.

[11th longbox, 126th comic. The Mighty Thor #379, by Walter Simonson (writer), Sal Buscema (artist), EVelyn Stein (colorist), John Workman (letterer)]

Stand-Up Guys

Val (Al Pacino) gets out of prison after 28 years, his old friend Doc (Christopher Walken) waiting for him. Doc takes Val around to enjoy his first taste of freedom in years, but it's a condemned man's last meal. Eventually they pick up the wheelman from their crew (Alan Arkin) out of a rest home to include in the fun.

Val could have shortened his sentence if he rolled on the other two, but he didn't. It wasn't his fault that job went wrong in the first place, but again, he took the rap for it. Even when the father of the one who is responsible wants Val to pay even more, he's willing to go along with it, because it'll help Doc.

Movies about how criminals were different in the old days, and they had a code and rules can get kind of tedious. Because it's obvious that it's bullcrap most of the time. Thankfully, this movie isn't about that so much as it just these three guys do have rules, and try to follow them best they can. Even when they're having fun, they're mostly respectful. There is one poor convenience store clerk who gets punched out, but for the most part, it's relegated to people who are already being jerks.

It's a funny movie, plays up the idea of these guys being older and the issues that come with that. Val and Doc robbing a pharmacy to help Val get some blue pills, and Doc helping himself to stuff he needs for hypertension and ulcers. Then Val crushing those up and snorting them later. Val complaining that Doc's apartment is worse than his cell was. He got Showtime and HBO in prison! Walken has to play the straight man for Pacino, and to a lesser extent Arkin. Mostly looking on in exasperation or confusion at his friend, but he gets some good lines.

And it's also touching at times, because they are older, so they know time is short. They have regrets, friends and family either dead or just no longer in touch. Fewer and fewer people know or care they exist, which is not a great feeling to have.

A Copy's Not a Copy All the Time

So Krakoa apparently has a rule against resurrecting clones of people. Or, more precisely, having more than one of the same person. Setting aside this only seems to apply mostly to Maddy Pryor, and not the Stepford Cuckoos, it's a little strange.* The argument seems to be something to the effect the clone is just a copy of the original, and it would be a mess to have two of the same person running around (setting aside Madrox and his mutant-power generated duplicates, I guess.)

But they aren't really that sort of clones. As far as I know, Maddy Pryor doesn't have Jean Grey's memories, other than perhaps an unfortunate attraction to Scott Summers. What a horrible thing to inherit. And Jean doesn't have Pryor's memories of being left to raise a child alone, then getting hunted by the Marauders while Scott goes and hangs out with his old school chums and back from the dead ex-girlfriend. Maddy doesn't have Jean's memories of that time Scott telepathically cheated on her with Emma Frost.

Just a reminder Scott Summers is the fucking worst and no one should ever lend that character any moral authority. Ever.

Likewise, Gabby (or Scout/Honey Badger) doesn't have Laura's memories of having her mother around in that facility, or of being exposed to a trigger scent to send her into a murderous fury. And Laura doesn't have Gabby's memories of being raised in a different facility with a bunch of other clones of Laura of varying appearances and ages. They're clones in the way a pair of 10-year old identical twins are clones. The genetics match, but the life experiences don't.

A clone I could see the argument holding water for, up to a point, would be Ben Reilly, the Spider-Clone. Because he really did have all Peter Parker's memories up to the moment the DNA that he was created from was taken. Which was always one of the things I found interesting about him. He had all of Parker's memories, his likes and dislikes, his morality, but none of it was really his. He couldn't be Peter Parker, go to college, get yelled at by Jonah, kiss Mary Jane, because there already was a Peter Parker doing all those things.

Given Miles Warren initiated the whole original Clone Saga out of some twisted love for Gwen Stacy and anger at Parker, it's pretty cruel to create a clone who never actually met Gwen Stacy, but vividly remembers dating and being in love with her, remembers the grief of her death like it happened to him. Reilly's actually kind of a reverse of Carol Danvers. Where Danvers eventually got back all the memories Rogue took, she had no connection to them. They may as well happened to someone else. Reilly has all the emotional connection to people and events, but never actually did any of that stuff.

And even then, Ben Reilly isn't merely a copy of Peter Parker. From the moment he stepped out of the tube or whatever Warren created him in, he started forming his own, separate existence. Peter Parker never spent years traveling the globe, teaching at different colleges under a false name and faked credentials. Parker never got hunted relentlessly by Kaine. And Ben Reilly never got killed by Kraven and stuffed in a grave for two weeks.

The closest comparison to that in the X-verse would seem to be Sinister's old Marauders. Where, other than I guess Sabretooth, Sinister just had a bunch of copies of Scalphunter and Arclight and those other losers sitting around in case one of them got killed or pissed him off. I never got the impression the Marauders knew that about themselves, so presumably each one had the exact same memories as all the other copies.

I don't know if there's some point about how often clones in X-related stuff don't have the original's memories, versus other parts of the Marvel Universe. Cloning is X-books is more of a long-term, wide ranging scheme, and takes a more impersonal touch? It really just seems like an odd, arbitrary limitation on Krakoa. Maybe if the issue was exceeding carrying capacity of the island. I assume even with Krakoa being sentient and the mutants all being such superior geniuses to those dumb old humans that there must be limits to how many people the island can support. But I haven't heard anything about scarcity issues yet. It can't be a concern about duplicate codenames/mutant names. They aren't stopping Laura from also calling herself "Wolverine", after all.

* And yeah, it's obvious that Maddy not being resurrected is a cronyism thing. Scott and Jean would be uncomfortable seeing Scott's first wife, who he abandoned, walking around all the time, so Havok's request got denied. Same as Mystique's request for Destiny to be resurrected. It would inconvenience people in power, so it doesn't happen. The whole spiel that she committed crimes against humans and mutants is also bullshit considering the presence of, well where do you start? Magneto? Apocalypse, Mystique, Wolverine, Mr. Sinister, Daken, Exodus, Rogue? Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw were both in the Hellfire Club. No way their hands are clean. Quentin Quire's almost certainly gotten up to some shit.

When Life Nearly Died - Michael J. Benton

The extinction event at the end of the Permian period is considered the largest mass extinction of all time. While the one that ended the dinosaurs, among other creatures, killed roughly half the species at that time, the Permian extinction is estimated to have wiped out 90% of the total living species at the time. While there's some agreement that a meteorite impact helped end the dinosaurs, the question of what caused the Permian event is less well-known. By me, anyway, which is why I bought this.

Benton doesn't get to his actual theory of what caused it until the second-to-last chapter. Because first he wants to talk about fossils, about paleontologists trying to figure out the relative ages of rocks in different parts of the world, about the argument over whether "mass extinctions" were even a thing that happened. That delves into catastrophism versus uniformitariansim, and Charles Lyell again, who we discussed in Raup's The Nemesis Affair. Benton also gets into the iridium layer and the Cretaceous extinction, since that whole thing was what helped get catastrophism back on its feet as a more widely accepted possibility.

If the popular concept of the change in life over time is that it is gradual, that species die out one or two at a time because "better" species come along and shove them into oblivion (and Lyell didn't even believe that, he thought nothing truly went extinct, they just went away somewhere for awhile and would reemerge later), then the idea of mass extinctions, some huge disaster that wipes out dozens or hundreds of species at once is absurd. So, if it looks like a bunch of species just vanish abruptly from the rocks, well, that's actually probably the equivalent of dozens of millions of years you're looking at, not a few thousand. Or you just have an incomplete fossil record (not unlikely, since lots of organisms don't die in places that lend to their remains being fossilized.)

Which does raise an interesting point Benton touches on at times: How quickly does it have to happen to be considered a single mass extinction? The notion in the book seems to be that the Permo-Triassic mass extinction took place in maybe 800,000 years, maybe a bit less. From a human perspective, that's a long time, but from the perspective of the length of time all life has been on earth, it's an eyeblink. Even relative to the average length of time a single species might persist (which I think is ~2 million years), it's not that long. There are certainly species that went extinct due to slow changes in climate or the introduction of new competitors or predators. But maybe uniformitarianism versus catastrophism is a matter of how large the time scale you're looking at is.

For the most part, Benton's an engaging writer. Some of the discussion of rock layers or mapping differences in oxygen isotopes is dry, but he's able to bring it around to explain why that's important. If you can't decide where the Permian ends and the Triassic begins, how can you decide whether a mass extinction happened then?

'The point is that good fortune is a characteristic of mass extinctions. The survivors are more lucky than specially adapted. The most advanced, intelligent, fast-breeding animal species may be wiped out by the chance calamity of an extinction event when it is obliged to face challenges that have never been encountered before.'

What I Bought 6/4/2021

I went to my dad's over the weekend for his birthday, so expect reviews of older movies over the next couple of weeks. For now, here's two comics from last week. One I was expecting to find, the other I wasn't. It's really a toss-up between the two stores in the nearest town what I'll find at either one, and their schedules don't lend themselves to visiting both in one trip. So I pick the one I can get to that time, and take what I can get.

Jenny Zero #2, by Dave Dwonch and Brockton McKinney (writers), Magenta King (artist), Dam (color artist), Dave Dwonch (letterer) - Hopefully all those people were already dead when she started stomping around.

The issue switches between the time of Jenny's father's death and the present. In the past, he dies, and Jenny struggles to cope. Avoids his funeral, and comments he'd probably rather have his dog there than her. Gets introduced to all the neat weapons the A.S.P. make from the bodies of the monsters by her uncle. Which takes on a different light when we and Jenny know that he's always known she could do the size-changing thing like her dad, and kept it from her. All of those scenes have a soft lavender coloring to the surroundings. Not sure the specific significance of that color choice. I would say it's a matter of viewing things through rose-colored glasses, but most of the memories are not that great.

In the present, Jenny defeats the monsters, and confronts her uncle about lying to her. Then she and her friend Dana go hang out in a hotel until Jenny decides to seek out someone who can help her. I suspect we're going to find out Dana was assigned to her as sort of a handler when they first met. Given one flashback is with Jenny's uncle, who lied to her and guided her to fight, and the other is Jenny meeting Dana and basically sticking by her side ever since. Plus, not sure how a hotel heiress is able to get access to a secret monster-fighting agency, even if she is the big hero's friend. I'm sure Jenny won't see that as yet another shocking betrayal.

 

Jenny's personality seems to be the brash person who actually just runs from difficult stuff. Or she prefers to process in solitude. You could read it either way. The flashbacks show she really didn't want to be at the funeral services for her dad, and after the battle, she goes and hides out in a hotel with Dana. She says she hates hiding out, but it seems to be a default response. But if everyone always has a camera aimed at her, maybe that's the only response. Nobody does that to me, and I can still barely think on important stuff around others.

Black Cat #7, by Jed MacKay (writer), Michael Dowling (artist), Brian Reber (color artist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - Aw, Larraz even made sure her sack of loot has a big old dollar sign on it. That's a nice touch.

Felicia tracks down the Black Fox and tells him how she's undone his plan for immortality. So we see in flashback how she was sent into the Vault, requested her immortality be removed, and warned the Saint that Fox intends to renege on the deal. Which he doesn't, but the little explosive Felicia attached to the deed to Manhattan says differently. Rights to the city lost, the Saint emerges and drags the Fox back into the Vaults, just slowly enough for a tearful farewell.

It works. MacKay uses the tracking chip he established was on the deed in issue 4 to explain how Felicia can find it again in such an enormous space. Dowling makes the Vaults resemble Arizona, or maybe some early 20th Century artists' version of the surface of Venus or Titan. Some mountains, vast plains, red skies with no visible sun. Felicia reminds us that she has limits to what she's comfortable doing, and the Fox remains someone willing to do anything to survive. Just as he would betray others, or play on Spider-Man's sympathy for an old man, he'd sacrifice an entire city of people for immortality. But he can still respect the student outwitting the teacher.

Oh, and at the very end, Felicia and Odessa make out. Congratulations to those two crazy kids. I'm curious if MacKay will actually do something with it. I'm not talking about a date issue - although I'm not saying I'm opposed to that, we got one for Felicia and Batroc - but at least the occasional acknowledgement. One of them stopping by to see the other, or scenes of one of them waking up at the other's home. So it's more than just a one-time, "Yes, Felicia's bisexual. Diversity!" thing. Felicia says straight up she doesn't think this is something with a future, and Odessa says it can't possibly work, but that doesn't mean it ends immediately. Let them have some fun with each other.

 

Anyway, the next arc is Felicia getting tangled up in acquiring Infinity Stones, which are now people, apparently? Not promising, but MacKay and Villa made the King in Black tie-ins better than I had any hope of them being. They can make something out of this.

Sunday Splash Page #169

 

"Casting James Franco in a Movie About the Wizard Oughta Do It", in Dorothy of Oz vol. 1, chapter 4, by Son Hee-Joon.

I bought this, I think 7 or 8 years ago, for reasons that are no longer clear. I'm not sure I've ever read Baum's Oz work, or been a big fan of the Judy Garland movie or anything like that. Didn't read those comic adaptations Skottie Young did for Marvel in the 2000s. But here we are.

But Tolkein or Arthurian-style medieval fantasy, with the knights and bearded wizards and whatnot usually doesn't interest me either, but most of the JRPGs I've played are in that sort of setting. So maybe I was just curious to see Oz stuff through a Korean aesthetic.

In this version, Dorothy is some fabled person who could see the Yellow Brick Road, but the lead is a schoolgirl name Mara who somehow wandered from our world into Oz while chasing her dog. Because she seems to come from somewhere else, and can also see the road, people call her Dorothy, to her annoyance. When the story begins, she already has her crew with the Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman, and the Cowardly Lion. 

Except they're actually subjects of military experiments. Well that's certainly a different take. The Scarecrow is a telekinetic who confuses words. The Woodsman a cyborg with no emotions. The Lion a moderately androgynous lion chimera. Or maybe I just figured Son Hee-Jon would make the Lion a catgirl given his complaints about how he didn't include any hot girls in this to draw in the bonus outtake comics at the back. And how Mara undergoes a "magical girl transformation" complete with disintegrating and rematerializing clothes.

I only ever bought the first volume. I didn't love the series, but I think the reason I never bought any further volumes was either it seemed unlikely the series would be released in full in the U.S., or it wasn't going to be finished period. I forget which exactly, but it boiled down to the same thing: Not letting myself get sucked into something that was going to remain unresolved. I've had enough American comics where the creative team gets abruptly changed and storylines are dropped, or they just lose interest and things. . .just. . .stop.

What I Bought 6/1/2021 - Part 2

Did you know there are Skittles freezer pops now? I found that out this week, when the coworker without respect for peoples' personal space brought some in. Not sure the world was crying out for that product, but it probably wasn't crying out for the Starburst jelly beans either, and I do love those. Anyway, the other two books from last month. A second issue and a first issue.

The Marvels #2, by Kurt Busiek (writer), Yildray Cinar (artist), Richard Isanove (color artist), Simon Bowland (letterer) - Alex Ross makes this Kevin Schumer guy look a lot older than Cinar does. Not a new thing for Alex Ross, obviously, but it's like Steven Wright got dumped in the Marvel Universe.

There's a brief bit at the beginning with Frank Castle interrogating drug dealers, then doing what he usually does with drug dealers, but most of this issue is focused on getting to know Kevin a little better. His uncle is apparently super-villain gear supplier the Tinkerer, and Kevin sometimes sneaks into places with suspected super-science activities and steals things for him, for money. When he isn't leading tour groups, or listening in on the Thing and the Human torch discuss the merits of scary books versus scary movies. But he has some larger role to play in whatever's coming, although the people watching him don't seem terribly impressed.

That's pretty much the issue, bar a brief fight between a hero and a villain in the capital city of Siancong, where a bunch of weird shadowy tendrils erupt from a building. So there's a bit of plot advancement in this issue, but mostly it's about getting to know Kevin Schumer. Which makes sense. If he's going to be important, we need to care about him. I don't know if him helping the Tinkerer is the way to do that, but it's an approach to take.

I feel like Cinar's Frank Castle looks too young. I know, he's not a Vietnam vet any longer, but he could still look grizzled. Castle should probably look old before his time, or that kind of old where he could anywhere from 40 to 70, you know? But the Tinkerer also look a bit younger than I'm used to. I was trying to think who he reminded me of, and I finally decided it's Stan Pines from Gravity Falls. Which, there are worse fictional characters to resemble than one that successfully rocks a fez.

 

One of these days I really do have to start writing these things before I decide on panels to scan, so they actually line up a little.

I do think my initial impression after issue 1 was correct. This is going to read better as whole once it's done. When you can see how all the different pieces fit and built. Like I said then, I have pretty high confidence in Kurt Busiek to be able to do that successfully.

Yuki vs. Panda #1, by Graham Misiurak (writer), A.L. Jones (artist/letterer) - I guess the panda doesn't understand the concept of reflections.

So a stereotypical pervy old master brings his granddaughter to the zoo. While he's distracted hitting on a lady, Yuki goes to stare at pandas, but refuses to share her ice cream with one of the babies. What's more, she taunts the panda. When the panda gets some ice cream while she's distracted, she reaches through the bars, grabs its skull and bites part of its ear off. The granddad pulls her off and does the vanish in a smoke cloud trick, and the baby panda shortly thereafter escapes from the zoo. Flash forward ten years, Yuki's getting put through ninja training before school, or training for School Olympics, and that's as far as it gets.

So, we all know who I'm rooting for here. I mean, biting a panda's ear partially off? Shouldn't you throw her in jail for harming an endangered species?

The story has the potential to be a lot of things. It feels like it might turn into almost a Road Runner/Wil E. Coyote thing, with the panda constantly trying to take revenge and failing at every turn. Yuki could be either oblivious and simply avoid danger on instinct from her training, or actually know there's a panda after her. Or it could become a violent revenge fantasy story where the panda brutally slaughters all her acquaintances until Yuki is the Last Girl, Final Girl, whatever that term is.

 

I doubt it's going to be the second one, but I'm not sure how satisfying it's going to be to watch the panda repeatedly fail to get some payback.

Jones' art definitely has manga influence to it. Linework on the characters is thick, makes them stand out against what are mostly soft focus backgrounds. The surroundings don't get a lot of emphasis. His shading is more varied or graded when he's trying to convey some momentous thing. The first page, when the narrator is intoning about rivalry and showing all these different people fighting each other, and later when Yuki and the Panda have a staredown and a wind appears from seemingly nowhere.

Haunted Observatory - Richard Baum

This is not a Scooby Doo-esque mystery about a guy in a rubber mask trying to scare everyone out of an observatory. It's a more a series of stories about astronomers prior to the 20th Century thinking they've spied something that it turns out they didn't actually see. Or something that they may have seen, but no one else could ever find again.

Sometimes it's a star, or possibly a comet. Something that glows brightly for a day but then dims swiftly and ultimately vanishes. On one occasion, the guy is certain he's found the planet that is throwing off Uranus' orbit. In fact, he'd screwed up so badly he was actually just looking at Uranus. Or the belief, held for quite some time, that Venus had mountains near its poles that rose above the clouds that envelop the world. There's an entire chapter on the notion the Moon might have its own satellites, and the search for those (undertaken for a time in the 1950s by Pluto discoverer Clyde Tombaugh.)

The chapters range from 10 to 50 pages depending on the topic. Some chapters I reached the end and still didn't know what had happened. Why did they think they saw mountains above Venus' clouds catching sunlight? In some ways, Baum writes for novices, as he'll spend a paragraph or two giving a short biography for one astronomer or mathematician or another that is relevant to the chapter. 

In other ways, the writing feels very technical. Much discussion of ascensions, of trying to observe this planet or that in superior opposition at such-and-such right declination. Some of it may be relevant - at least one of the mysteries is ultimately due to the astronomer not realizing he twisted the wrong dial when adjusting his telescope and thus getting his values crossed - but at others it just feels like too much detail. I think he's trying to split the difference between the human urge to stare the sky and dream, and the fact that searching the night sky - really, truly searching it - can be a methodical, tedious process. One where the slightest error, or even just an imperfection on the mirror if you're using a reflecting telescope, can throw you off completely.

'On March 10 and 12, 1790, Schroeter had taken great care to distinguish the bright hook peculiar to the southern cusp from the twilight arc. The twilight arc, as we have just seen, he ascribed to scattered light in the upper atmosphere. The hook at the southern cusp, however, he attributed to a ridge of high mountains that catches the direct light of the sun.'

What I Bought 6/1/2021 - Part 1

I hope everyone had a wonderful Clint Eastwood's Birthday Day on Monday. It is the most holy of days on the Reporting on Marvels and Legends' calendar. I observed the traditional ways, watching the Leone trilogy while eating pizza.

The Union #5, by Paul Grist (writer), Andrea Di Vito (penciler), Le Beau Underwood (inker), Nolan Woodard (colorist), Travis Landham (letterer) - Runnin' away from a ghost like they're the Mystery Inc. crew.

The tech bro has the Empire Stone. The heroes' attempts to stop him all fail, not that we see them try much. Doc Croc and his gain take a run at it and don't do any better. Britannia's sort of a ghost that's been lurking inside Union Jack to survive (and keep him from dying when he does stupid crap), but neither of them can stop tech bro alone. Together? Sure, that works. Doc Croc briefly gets the stone, then loses it to the government official, who impersonates a the intelligent corgi and eats it. The day is saved!

I am not sure what this was supposed to be about. The conclusion says Britannia kind of faded away after making some cryptic/uplifting statement. Union Jack's in the hospital, and the rest of the team has apparently vanished. There's no moment where the team really comes together and gets anything done. The public reacts negatively to their actual appearance, but there's no follow-up with that. I wonder if Grist had something entirely different planned for this when it was sort of tying in to Empyre instead of King in Black, but I doubt it. Maybe the point was you can't artificially create a super-team, just because some billionaire wants it to happen? If they aren't on-board with some common purpose, it'll fall apart. Or if it all hinges on one person - Britannia in this case - it's not going to work.

I don't know. I'm just guessing.

Runaways #36, by Rainbow Rowell (writer), Andres Genolet (artist), Dee Cunniffe (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Gert's wisely decided to get the heck out of this book before she gets killed again.

The issue focuses on two conversations involving Gert. One, set several weeks before the previous issue, has Chase come home and find Gert from five years in the future waiting for him. She's 21 now too, and she's here to a) be with him, and b) take him back to the future with her. Chase is actually suspicious of this, especially when Gert won't tell him what she's trying to save him from. He won't go, so Gert's just been coming by to visit and make out with him off-and-on ever since.

The other conversation is between 16-year-old Gert and Victor, at the same time as the previous issue. There's a little tension after that whole Justice Inc. thing, and Victor worrying that since he can't fight against the programming Ultron gave him that makes him geek out over heroes, he won't be able to fight the programming that will make him evil, either. Gert figures everyone on the team is likely to go evil, and she's more concerned about getting left behind. And while they're walking, they find Chase and 21-year-old Gert making out.

I have no idea how this is gonna go. Future Gert seems sad or worried about seeing Victor, which seems like the kind of thing that could lead to explosions and "How could you?!" On the other hand, Gert's not typically the sort to freak out or get violent. So there might just be a lot of sarcasm between the Gerts, and confused stammering among the guys.

 

You can see similarities in the Gerts based on facial expressions - they both love rolling their eyes - but Genolet adds some differences in body language. They're both talking to guys who are taller than them, but Future Gert is constantly looking Chase in the eye, while Present Gert spends a lot of time looking at the ground or just down in general. Future Gert's body language is a lot more confident. Hand on one hip, or just willing to reach out. She's not holding herself in, while Present Gert seems like she's trying to minimize contact with anything for most of her walk with Victor. She won't even let her arms swing at her sides while she walks, she keeps them both on her backpack straps. It's a much more reserved, withdrawn posture.

I even think Present Gert and Victor are viewed at more of a distance than Future Gert and Chase. That may just be a matter of the two of them not standing as close to one another, so the p.o.v. has to be from further away for them both to be in the same panel, but Present Gert seems to sit lower in the panels, and just generally is less of a presence than her future self.

Breach (2020)

'If you do one thing this weekend. Please watch the movie "Breach" on Amazon prime. I need someone to talk to about this absolute BEAST of cinematic guano'

Alex sent me that text two Fridays ago. At 1:30 in the morning. So I watched it the following evening. Hoped for a palette cleanser from Operation Petticoat. Ha! Not likely. 

Some of humanity - 50 million people or so - have fled Earth on vast ships for "New Earth", leaving the rest of humanity to die. Initially it sounds like it's due to environmental collapse, but people mention a plague, so I'm not sure. This guy Noah - get it, because the ship is like an ark? - is illegally snuck on board by the mother of his child, who is also the daughter of the Admiral piloting the ship (Thomas Jane, doing his best to look like Mel Gibson in the original Mad Max.) Those two, and most of the passengers, are put into Cryo, but Noah is a janitor, so he and a skeleton crew, including Clay (Bruce Willis), are still awake maintaining the ship.

Noah doesn't actually know how to do his job, something Clay spots immediately, but there's also the highest ranking officer still awake, who Clay describes as a 'Space Nazi', who tells Noah to be alert to any signs of sabotage or weirdness. So there's an opportunity for paranoia when things start going wrong. What goes wrong is someone unleashed something on the ship that looks like a big leech that gets inside people, liquefies their organs, and then pilots their bodies. As the crew quickly learn, if there's any of the body left, the things can still control it. Meaning bullets (space bullets!) aren't much good. Well now what?

When exactly did Bruce Willis settle in the Nic Cage lane of just taking any garbage role in any movie that comes along? I know it was several years ago, maybe even a decade, but it seems like it's gotten worse. The guy cannot need the money that badly. Needs some hobbies, like Harrison Ford. Safe hobbies, as opposed to Harrison Ford, who apparently likes crashing planes.

For the first thirty minutes or so, I didn't really see what bothered Alex so much. It wasn't a good movie, but there was potential there. A cat-and-mouse game, with the creature slowly picking crew off as it moves towards its objective, while the crew scramble around and waste time arguing and blaming each other. Sure, the solution to killing the creature is painfully obvious extremely early in the movie, as is what the creature is after. But that's not necessarily a deal-breaker.

(Why it's after that is never sufficiently explained. There's mention of experiments, but also that it may have existed before the universe, and it just hates us. Extremely vague, handwavey bullshit all around.)

Then all that gets thrown out the window in the hail of pointless gunfights, confused trips through boring corridors and air vents, and lousy CGI. If you took a shot every time Bruce Willis takes a drink from his flask, you'd die before the shooting started. Noah talks so much about how he's doing this for his family, I thought I'd stumbled into a really shitty Fast and the Furious movie. The end of the movie is ludicrous in the exact same way as the ending to Ghosts of Mars. Holy crap, did I really watch that movie less than 6 months ago?

A Low Bar to Clear

Better for who, exactly?

Limbo starts as a private eye noir story, albeit one in an unusual, even seedier version of New Orleans where fishmen come wandering in from the swamp for a drink or fight. Clay, an amnesiac p.i., is hired by the beautiful singer at a nightclub to protect her from her employer, evil crime boss The Thumb. This, of course, turns out to be more complicated than Clay expects, even allowing for The Thumb being a masked wrestler. The Thumb has powerful forces on call, and not in the typical '80s movie style of thick-necked vaguely Soviet looking goons. And surprise, the beautiful singer is more than she seems, too. 

And so the story shifts a bit. Clay's case, his amnesia, his very state of being in this strange city are all variables in a maze, or a test. Clay's really caught between two deities doing what deities do best: Fucking around with mortals to settle arguments.

Why can't they just scream and throw household items at each other like unhappy married couples do? I guess the better way to think of it would be scientists getting monkeys hooked on cigarettes. Or the experiment my ornithology professor told us about from the '50s. Where the biologists, have determined a turkey's crop can indeed break down walnuts, decided to see if it could break down razor blades. Science!

Compared to that, putting a man in a position to possibly be eaten by a giant alligator is fairly tame.

 

So then Limbo shifts into a story about whether people can change, or if they're doomed to repeat the same actions, the same responses over and over. Is who a person is determined from the moment they're born, or is it the culmination of everything they've experienced up to a particular moment? That kind of stuff. As far as an experiment goes, it's rather flawed by the fact all sides (because there are more players than just the two deities) are cheating to sway things to their desired result.

That there do end up being more forces that get involved than expected is rather a nice touch. And those forces do so for their own reasons, although those reasons probably boil down to "protecting my turf". But they define that in different ways, and they take different approaches. Manipulation and illumination.

On the first read, I wasn't too impressed. I wasn't sure what it was going to be going in, and I'm rarely a huge fan of stories about people getting jerked around by immense, sentient forces. Maybe if you give me the story where the person jerked around decides to hunt that deity down and make their existence hell. The second time through, just taking the story for what it was, I liked it better. 

Dan Watters (writer) and Caspar Wjingaard (artist), who are credited as co-creators, lean into a particular '80s aesthetic that I sort of remember, but don't have any particular affection for. The kind of Miami Vice jackets and color schemes. Clay is usually, when he's in the city, anyway, colored a sort of soft neon blue with white hair. His landlord/caretaker Sandy is a bright green from head-to-toe. His client a deep red, The Thumb mostly purple. Other, ordinary, people are colored more normally. I do enjoy the color work, though. Clay makes his way into the club for the big confrontation, fighting his way through the henchmen. All the panels are drawn from the same perspective: behind him, head hidden under a hooded jacket, and the surroundings get steadily darker, mirroring his descent.

Clay's battle with the teleshaman takes him through a world of TV I recognize, but that's probably as much from when I watched VH1's "I Love the Eighties" as my own memories. Like, I remember daytime talk show stuff like Donahue and Geraldo, but it doesn't mean anything to me. I'm to this day not sure what Max Headroom was supposed to be about. Or hiding a listening device in a He-Man toy. I had He-Man toys when I was a kid - got a lot of mileage out of that Castle Greyskull with my Spider-Man and Ninja Turtles figures - but it's not something I have nostalgia for, you know? So at times it's an experience of, "Oh, I think that's a reference. . .OK," and move on. So if the particular era Wjingard and Watters chose is meant for some greater spiritual meaning in the story, I'm whiffing on it.

Sunday Splash Page #168

 

"Up From the Sewers," in Doom Patrol (vol. 3) #10, by John Arcudi (writer), Tan Eng Huat (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), Bob Lappan (letterer)

Arcudi and Tan Eng Huat explore a bit into the "superheroes as commodities" notion with this run, as your typical CEO type is trying to create his own superhero team he can merchandise. It's not really working out, she approaches Robotman to license the Doom Patrol name for merchandise and even a TV show. Sure, a TV show about the Doom Patrol is ludicrous - that would never happen, obviously - but it's fiction so we'll roll with it. Cliff agrees because he can use the cash, and reluctantly sticks around to help the kids. Huat doesn't draw them with the stereotypical superhero physiques or faces. For the most part, I'd say they look fairly normal, in that they look weird in the way regular people can look weird. They hardly ever wear uniforms or costumes, the closest probably being Ted (the redhead up above) and most of the crime they fight they sort of stumble into.

So while the team is tangled up in a mess about ancient Chinese artifacts, or a demon trapped on Earth trying to gather souls to empower himself, Jost is trying to turn a profit while polls tell him people want the original Doom Patrol members back. Who are, as mentioned, dead. Arcudi does get a good "Negative Man" gag out of the cast of characters he's made, though.

Or when the team walks away, he simply gets a new team of pre-existing characters (Elongated Man, Metamorpho, the good Doctor Light, and Beast Boy.) There's even an issue where Jost argues with a TV executive and a fanboy writer about what they can do to make the TV show more popular, with the writer being outraged at how out of character they are proposing to make people.

There's also a lot about what Cliff really is, at this point. He's been dead multiple times now. Rebuilt endlessly. His "brain" isn't even an actual flesh-and-blood organ any longer. You'd think after all the weird crap he's been through that might not be so daunting, but Cliff mostly just seems tired of it all. Then the Cliff we see for the first 7-8 issues isn't the Cliff we see for the rest of the series, and that raises its own questions. Huat also gives the Cliff from later on a less streamlined, more clunky, more, well robotic appearance to reflect the difference. Later Issues Robotman can't be nearly as expressive with his face as Early Issues Robotman.

Being part of a team doesn't seem to do any of them any good. Fever at one point decides the best thing for her to do is nothing. Freak flat out hates her power and would love to be rid of it. Fast Forward tries to improve his power, push it further, and about drives himself insane. Ends up on medication to cope with it. Kid Slick's the only one that seems to avoid all that, and it's his getting hospitalized by Fever that prompts her to embrace apathy as a lifestyle. You can't make someone be a superhero. They either want to be, or they don't.

The series ended at 22 issues in Fall 2003. I think it's one of those series often overlooked, but well-loved by the people who find it. A year later, we got the John Byrne Doom Patrol, spinning out of a storyline I think he and Claremont did together in JLA, which did in fact bring back a lot of the original team.

Random Back Issues #61 - Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #19

It was difficult for Flash to make his friends understand that trying to meet Spider-Man by causing lots of grease fires was a good plan, actually.

We last looked at this series 14 months ago, in the Before Times. When thoughts of working from home didn't even exist in my mind. At that point, MJ and Harry were both deemed the biggest flirts in school. Now, the two of them are dating. Like drawn to like.

This issue is mostly about Flash, though, who is sleeping a lot in school and during practice, and hearing about it from his girlfriend Liz constantly. No one knows what's happening, but while on a date with Harry, Mary Jane happens to spy Flash in the kitchen. His dad lost his job, and his new job doesn't pay a well, so Flash is helping support the family. He doesn't want Harry or Liz to know, because they'll either give him a lot of grief, or Harry will just give him a lot of money. Self-sufficiency is nice, but Flash admits that if he does well in football and keeps his grades up he could get a full ride to college. So maybe he should accept help that allows for that.

 

Spidey shows up at MJ's door as she gets home, hoping to talk, but she asks if they can wait until tomorrow. He agrees and swings back off into the night. The next day, MJ goes against Flash's wishes and tells Harry and Liz anyway. Harry laughs and offers money, Liz complains a lot about Flash not telling her (while making some hilarious facial expressions.) Swell friends. Still, when she insists they all need to help Flash somehow, those two listen.

MJ meets Spidey for a rooftop chat. He's dating Firestar (completely forgot about that) and she wants them to reveal their secret identities to each other. He's hesitant because there's another girl he's still hung up on and not sure about. If he shows Firestar who he is, that's a serious step, and he doesn't want to take that if he's still thinking about this other girl. Sensible enough, I suppose. MJ says it's a sign of how good a person he is this worries him, and that he should trust himself to make the right choice. 

 

When she gets home, she finds Liz and Harry waiting, who have come up with a way to help Flash. Harry bought him a pillow that'll help him sleep better, designed by a 'rocket scientist or something.' Liz got him a coffee pot with an alarm clock, so he'll have a 'fresh dose of piping hot caffeine waiting' in the morning. She also tells Flash she's gonna yell at him, but not today. Mary Jane was going to get Peter Parker to tutor Flash, but realized that was a bad idea. Flash agrees. Yeah, Peter's got better things to do than help a guy who makes his life miserable. Like saving lots of ungrateful dickhead New Yorkers from the Vulture or something.

The issue ends with Flash thanking Harry, and Felicia Hardy (who previously made Liz very insecure about her relationship with Flash) apparently setting her sights on the Osborn heir. There's only one issue left, so I'm pretty sure most of these plotlines did not get resolved.

 

Also, there's a Mini-Marvels back-up where the Hulk tries to follow everyone's advice when he takes Betty on a date. But Thunderbolt Ross sends a robot to spy on them and a fight breaks out. Lots of references to not trying any "funny stuff" and Bill Cosby which, yeah.

[10th longbox, 119th comic. Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #19, by Sean McKeever (writer), David Hahn (artist), Christina Strain (colorist), Dave Sharpe (letterer). Mini-Marvels "Hulk Date", by Chris Giarrusso (writer/artist)]

Operation Petticoat

Cary Grant's a World War 2 sub commander, except his sub was damaged in a bombing raid before ever going on a mission. With the base in danger from the Japanese advance, he gets permission to at least try and get it to another safe base, if he can even get it running. And he'll have to make do with whatever crew he has left or can scrounge up. Which is how he gets a lieutenant (Tony Curtis) with no actual experience in submarines or anything related to serving at sea. Curtis is a hell of a scrounger though, or perhaps black marketeer would be a better word.

As they travel in a clanking, listing, occasionally leaking submarine, things grow more complicated. Not so much due to the Japanese, though. Curtis goes ashore on one island to see what he can "acquire" and returns with a half-dozen nurses, who obviously cannot be left behind in the face of the advancing enemy. Except submarines aren't equipped to be co-ed in the 1940s, so this causes many problems. Mostly owing to having a sub full of guys, or the chief engineer being freaked out by women hanging their underwear to dry in the engine room (that's bad luck, Captain!). There's also one nurse who is klutzy as hell. Hits collision alarms by accident, causes some kind of foul-up right when they were about to torpedo a loaded tanker, causing them to hit a truck instead. All of which drives Grant up the wall. In his typical wryly sarcastic Cary Grant way, of course. No pulling his hair for this fella.

Eh, with the quality of American torpedoes in the first half of the war, they probably wouldn't have sunk the tanker anyway.

The last little bit of the movie, they end up taking on a bunch of pregnant ladies Curtis promised to transport to safety in return for something. I forget what. They also needed to paint the sub for some reason, and with only red and white paint, and not enough of either individually, they mix them and the sub becomes pink. Cue much grousing about humiliation among members of the crew.

I guess because it's supposed to be a comedy, the movie skirts the edges of the war. The sub is retreating already, and in no fit condition to fight anyway, so there isn't much time wasted on avoiding depth charges or air attacks. It's mostly Grant growing increasingly frustrated with all the unexpected passengers, and with Curtis treating the war like a minor inconvenience on his attempts to climb the social ladder. Definitely not a film I'd call a career highlight for either actor.

A Slowdown At Summer's End

August has a couple of new things on offer, but with a few mini-series having ended or things going on hiatus, it feels like a little quieter month.

Marvel has two of the new things of interest. One is Al Ewing and Javier Rodriguez teaming up on a Defenders mini-series. Can't say it looks like my favorite lineup - the Surfer's in there, and I've never found him terribly important, and no Nighthawk, Hellcat, or Valkyrie and I'd take any one of them, not trying to be greedy - but it's worth a look. 

The other is a Darkhawk mini-series, by Kyle Higgins and Juanan Ramirez, who did the third and final section of that Darkhawk one-shot I bought last month. This is almost certainly playing off Powell sending the amulet back through time with all his memories and experiences, and handing it to a new kid. I don't know. That was actually my least favorite of the three parts, but I might at least try it.

Beyond that, there's still Black Cat, Runaways, Moon Knight if the first issue didn't dissuade me. Sure wish I'd seen Way of X #5's solicit before reading issue 2. Would have lessened the shock a bit.

Outside of Marvel, what have we got. A few old reliables. You Promised Me Darkness wraps up its first arc, and Freak Snow concludes. Midnight Western Theatre and Locust will both be available. Locust is now listed as an 8-issue mini-series. Seems like it takes an issue or two with the smaller publishers before they say how long something is going to be if it's a limited series. I also read somewhere that Chaos Agent, the other mini-series Scout was going to publish I was interested in from two months ago, may not be coming out after all. Bummer.

That's it as far as stuff I'd been buying. As for new possibilities, Mark Russell and Ben Tiesma are publishing a series called Deadbox through Vault, about a possessed DVD machine (not a player, but one of those little kiosks you can rent DVDs from) that I'm guessing is going to let characters buy DVDs about their own lives. And Dark Horse has a trade of Phillip Selvy and Drew Zucker's mini-series The House, about some American GIs who shelter in a big mansion during the Battle of the Bulge, and spooky things happen.

That sounds potentially cool, but it also sounds like how that horrible, horrible movie Ghosts of War started. Cause for trepidation, that, but it won't actually be out until October, so there's time to decide.