What I Bought 6/28/06

Didn't buy Annihilation: Ronan #3. Just wasn't appealing. Four other books did get bought, and I gotta say, none really, how should I put this, resonated. Oh well, some weeks are just like that I guess. Spoilers are lurking ahead I'm sure.

Amazing Spider-Man #533 - So, Spider-Man is really Peter Parker. And the nation does a collective "Who?". Jameson is miffed. Peter seems rather cold to Stark in the aftermath, so I suppose he's starting to pull his head out of his hindquarters and realize that what a monumental cock-up he's just made of things. Oh and he threatened Tony if anything happens to May or MJ. Good. I hope to see Iron Man get his ass kicked often during this crossover (sorry, Chris), and quite frankly, as inspiring as drunken Prodigy's attempt in Front Line was, it didn't pan out.

Then we get a less than pleasant reaction from the public. Really great idea going public Parker, 'cause now they can hate both your identities. Then the story comes to grinding halt with the MJ and May/Peter/Reed and Sue Richards conversation thing. I'm sure it was meant to be witty, but just like a lot of those jokes on Family Guy, they dragged it to such lengths it was just annoying as hell. Though Peter's solution was marginally amusing.

Peter's been sued. I wonder whether Stark is going to pick up the tab for that, given that this situation is his fault. Oh, is it unfair to blame him for Peter's employer finding out their photog's been taking pictures of himself all these years? Well, it's unfair to blame Speedball for Nitro blowing up an entire fucking city!!! Calm, calm.

And on a final note, Peter isn't happy that he's been drafted into the "Hunt Down Captain America" Squad. Welcome to life as a lapdog of the state Petey-boy. Wanker. I did not like this issue. Too much talking, the ridiculous phone bit, and Peter is only starting to question what the hell's he just done. 1.8 out of 5.

Exiles #83 - This appears to be an issue for pausing and catching your breath. The Exiles are sending back a bunch of their former teammates, whether dead or alive. At least, I guess that's what's going on. I've never seen any of these people. The team, except for Power Princess, is attempting to keep up the charade that this Morph is actually their old buddy, and not Proteus brainwashed into believing he's Morph. Blink is trying to decide what to do with Mimic. An Iron Man gets aggressive because he doesn't want to go home. Seems he might have caused World War 3 and he's a wanted criminal. Hmm, really? I can't imagine Stark starting up a war. I wonder if it was civil? Surely not. It's times like this I wish computers were better at expressing sarcasm.

Anyway, the Stark is contained, and the team resumes sending the fallen back to their respective homes. Last we see of Iron Schlub is him surrendering to a bunch of guns. *evil grin*. And we see what Blink decides to do with Mimic's body. The art bugs me a bit on this, especially Spider-Man 2099. He goes from muscular to scrawny, and then kind of elongated throughout the book. It's a bit distracting. Still, pretty decent warp-up to Bedard's run, so 4.1 out of 5.

Ultimate Spider-Man #96 - Spider-Man is in the middle of a vampire fight. Predictably, he's in way over his head. Morbius keeps telling him to get lost, and finally Peter takes his advice and bails with the bitten Ben Urich. Not surpisingly the Fantastic Four aren't around to help, and the personnel at the hospital he goes to give him a lot of flack, and keep accusing him of doing something to Urich. Because I'm sure he would bite the guy on the neck, then bring him to a hospital for treatment. People are such idiots.

Morbius shows up at the hospital, planning to save Urich - by biting him. As you might expect, Spider-Man is less than convinced. But then he gets bitten by a vampire, and a fight breaks out, and Morbius sounds oddly current for someone who's the son of, well we're talking about vampires, so I'll give you three guesses who Daddy Dearest was.

Anyhoo, Peter's blood protects him, Urich is fine, Morbius dissed Peter (man, everyone disses him), but hey, Mary Jane seems less angry at him. At the very least, she's willing to be his friend again, which is of the good. Peter needs friends. 4.2 out of 5.

X-Factor #8 - Let's see, Layla throws a rock at some guys, and blames it on the silver-haired figure in front of X-Factor Investigations. Rictor, Siryn and Monet argue about registration. Siryn is also suspicious about Cyclops' reaction to Layla in the previous issue. So naturally, Rictor starts badgering Layla, because that works well.

And a Madrox duplicate shows up from SHIELD, to get them all to sign up. I will now smash my head through my desk. The rock-throwing didn't go the way Layla planned, Siryn interrogates Spider-Man and finds out all about House of M. OK, godamnit, why the hell is it when people find out about House of M, it's always from Spider-Man. They couldn't find out from Wolverine or Cyclops for once? *next five minutes of typing have been deleted for extreme profanity*

What else? Well I guess we learned something interesting about the heads of Singularity. And Pietro and Layla exchanged deep and meaningful discussion about evil and good, and blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I think Civil War is killing me. 3.3 out of 5.