Giant Extinct Sharks Will Kill Us All

I read MEG: A Novel of Deep Terror in high school. The reason was simple. It was about a giant, presumed extinct species of carnivorous shark being discovered in the Marianas Trench, then escaping to the surface where it wreaked havoc. My 2nd favorite movie ever (at that time) was Jaws*, so yes, this was up my alley. In that regard, it lived up to expectations, as the Carcharodon megalodon even defeated a nuclear submarine**, along with eating several people, all before it was killed by lead character Jonas Taylor piloting a mini-sub down its throat, climbing out, and cutting the shark's heart open with a fossilized megalodon tooth.

I never said it was realistic. I read the next book in the series, The Trench, when it was released, but I don't recall much other than author Steve Alten expanded on the list of presumed dead creatures that were still alive in the Marianas Trench. I picked up MEG: Primal Waters in my bookstore excursion, I guess because I was curious. And I still enjoy giant sharks wreaking havoc.

The book's leapt ahead some, as it's about 20 years since the first story, and Taylor's dealing with money problems and a mid-life crisis. Plus his teenage daughter is driving him crazy, as teenage daughters are wont to do (or so I'm told by sitcoms). Taylor takes a job as a color commentator on some stunt show, which is actually a trap by a bitter scientist who regards Taylor as a 'con man wrapped in a diploma'. Many deaths ensue, at several locations as there are three giant sharks to deal with this time, instead of just the one. Alten also has Evil Bitter Scientist Guy hint at even larger, also presumed extinct creatures leaving somewhere are the Philippine Plate, which sure, why not throw in a brief mention of a creature twice the size of a 60-foot, 30-ton shark? I guess it popped up in the 4th book.

It's an absurd book overall, and though Alten might be trying to keep things moving fast enough that doesn't have time to sink in, there are still plenty of moments that make me stop and reread. Which doesn't mean it isn't entertaining, just that it's one of those books where I think it's best if the reader embraces the absurdity. If you go in expecting a more grounded, scientifically accurate tone, it'll be tough going.

Speaking of the absurd, during the story, Barry Bonds' all-time home run record is about to fall. The man who's going to break the record? Pat Burrell. {hysterical laughter} Pat {more hysterical laughter} Burrell. {falls out of chair} Alten {still laughing}, Alten might as well said Rafael Belliard (except he retired a decade ago) or, {gasping} or, Jason Kendall {lapses into guffaws}.

I guess it's really only absurd if you follow baseball. But still, not Alex Rodriguez or Albert Pujols, Pat Burrell?!

* Behind Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, if you cared. I don't know what the rankings are now.

** Look, the Navy made the mistake of being concerned about public perception if they sent their top of the line subs after an endangered species, so they used the Nautilus, their very first nuclear sub, which had probably been decommissioned for a long while. Here we see the danger of worrying overmuch about public opinion when there's work to be done.