Deadpool's Not Leaving Without Killing Or Exploding Something

{When we left off, the Blender Furby arrived to try and calm things down. Or that was Pollock's plan. Instead, it began fighting with Deadpool and trying to kill him for some unkind words during a previous meeting I made up on the fly while writing this. Finding Deadpool difficult to kill conventionally, the Blender Furby (now called Stefan) has opted to use its disorienting voice to incapacitate Deadpool until Stefan can twist his head off.}

*Pollock's fist lashes out against the side of Stefan's head, cracking it. He staggers from the impact and releases Deadpool. We see that Pollock is wearing a set of brass knuckles spelling the word "POOL". Obviously they fell out when Deadpool fumbled reaching for his gun moments earlier.*

Stefan: So, funny story, the people who created me weren't as sadistic as you, so I don't feel pain and, wait, you aren't falling over.

Pollock: The crack has ruined that wonderful resonating effect your head normally has.

Stefan: *bats eyelashes in a remarkably adorable fashion* The panda isn't going to approve of you punching me.

Pollock: You cutting Deadpool's head off won't win you any rounds of Applause, either.

Deadpool: *hops up abruptly* [Because I'm America's sweetheart, no matter what Catherine Zeta-Jones claimed!] *Wade cuts the Blender Furby off what was once the Predator Drone's body. Pollock catches the Furby*

Stefan: *looking up at Pollock* You're never going to get anywhere this way.

Pollock: Enough of you for now.

*Pollock removes the batteries from the back of Stefan's head. Stefan sticks out his tongue before his eyes shut.*

Pollock: He's probably right, though.

Deadpool: [Maybe stop giving inanimate objects souls. Haven't you seen the Child's Play movies?]

Pollock: I have actually, but I just want toys that love their kids as much as the kids love them.

Deadpool: [Have you seen how kids treat their toys? Were you ever a kid?]

Pollock: I don't sit in on the focus group testing so no, and no.

Deadpool: [Well just sit here on Santa Deadpool's lap and he'll see if he can get you a copy of Toy Story for Christmas.]

Pollock: No.

Deadpool: [I'm just trying to offer you a seat since all the chairs are blown up.]

Pollock: *responds with a silent, stony glare*

Deadpool: [Fine, can I go back to blowing stuff up? I need explosions to drown out the unpleasant sounds in my head.]

Pollock: Well, I'd offer you a mixed drink and hope it calmed you down, but, *hefts Stefan's head* my drink mixer has a crack in it.

*At that moment, Androzier arrives, pushing some large weapon on a cart with cords trailing behind it*

Androzier: It took time to find enough extension cords. We need to talk to the lab staff about putting equipment back in the proper cabinets and - step away from the Commandant!

Deadpool: *rolls eyes* [Sure thing Sergeant Schultz. Damn, I'm really not funny today. Can I cut this one's head off, too?]

Pollock: No!

Deadpool: [But he's brandishing - sort of - a clunky and ridiculous weapon! A small child or elderly person with a weak heart my be frightened!]

*The captain grits his teeth*

Androzier: If you're too stupid to know when to quit, I'll show you what it can do!

Pollock: Captain, that's enough! Deadpool, don't piss off yet another of my employees after the last one nearly killed you! I'm trying to make it through this without any explosions and we're almost there!

Deadpool: *rubs the back of his head* [Uh, about that. . .]

*A large explosion rips through a lab two stories down. The three of them all feel the vibration.*

Deadpool: [I mean, didn't you notice I wasn't carrying my bag full of explosives in here?]

*Pollock turns her back and begins walking towards Androzier and the Wave Beam*

Deadpool: *holding his hands up, palms out* [In my defense, you hadn't told me I didn't need to blow things up!]

*Pollock subtly shape-shifts to add some more muscle and hefts the Wave Beam*

Deadpool: [Say, which way is the staircase?! You really need to mark your emergency exits better, that's a safety hazard!]

Pollock: *quietly* I won't tell the panda you tried killing the Blender Furby, and you won't tell the panda I did this. Agreed?

*Pollock flips a switch and a wide beam of energy is emitted. It's purple. It drops towards the floor, then rises sharply, brushing the ceiling. Then it crashes down on Deadpool, slamming him into the floor before pushing him into and through the wall, raising him up through the ceiling as it does. Then it drops again before smashing through an outer wall and launching the mercenary into the open air as it rises a third time. Pollock toggles the switch back and the energy disperses, leaving Deadpool to arc across the skyline.*

Deadpool: *distantly* [Agreeeeeeeed.]

Androzier: Wow, that was pretty impressive. I wasn't expecting that.

Pollock: Well what did you think the Wave Beam did?

Androzier: *pushes up cap, scratches head* I don't know. I was hoping it would disintegrate him.

Pollock: Pfft. Disintegrate him? That would be a little crass. Also, it would bring that panda down on us like an annoying, furry sledgehammer. *sighs* You better issue an all-clear to the panic rooms while we figure out which lab was destroyed.

Androzier: At least it's just the one lab. *looks around* Well, two labs.

*Pollock winces, as if expecting a punch, but nothing happens*

Pollock: Perhaps he used all the explosives on that one room. Yes, I suppose this was not a massively debilitating setback.

*Androzier raises his eyebrows quizzically*

Pollock: I'm not going to make the mistake of asking for another punch in the face from the universe.

*a voice crackles over the radio*

Voice: Captain, we investigated the site of the explosion. The crazy man blew up a bathroom!

Pollock: A bathroom?

Androzier: *stricken look* A bathroom?

Voice: Oh, sorry, ma'am, I didn't realize you were there! Uh, yes. I think there was a gas line nearby he might have been trying to damage, but this was the bathroom for the people who agree to test new food and cosmetics, so it was reinforced. Because of the, uh, problems. So the blast didn't make it through the walls.

Pollock: Oh, well that's a lucky break.

Androzier: But that was the nicest bathroom we had! The water pressure was good, and the lighting was pleasant, and there was always a variety of air fresheners!

Pollock: Captain, how much vacation time do you have saved up?

Androzier: *oblivious* I swear I'll get you for this, Deadpool. I'll get you!

{Uh, wow, OK. That's not how I thought I'd end that story, but there you go. A new arch-rivalry!}