When the Bill Comes Due

And we never had to see Old Man Logan, Sabretooth, or Lady Deathstrike ever again, he said, wishing it was true. Actually, I'm fine with Lady Deathstrike, but the other two, especially "last week's stale pizza" version of Logan, can fuck right off.

It's colder than shit here today, and has been for over a week. On the plus side, I have learned that wind chills lower than -5 are apparently the point at which I'm no longer willing to try going for a run, but reviewing comics allows me to stay inside where I can sneer at the elements. (Until I see my electric bill for the month.)

Volume 5 of All-New Wolverine finds most of the Logan knockoffs under siege from a group calling themselves the "Orphans of X". The grieving family members of the many, many, many people Logan, his kids, enemies, and alternate timeline versions of himself have killed over the years. This wouldn't normally be an issue. People with a grudge coming after you is called Tuesday for a Wolverine, but these folks found the shattered remains of the Muramasa blade Logan had forged with a piece of his soul, and made bullets from it.

It boggles my mind that a weapon Daniel Way introduced in Wolverine: Origins as a method to hurt Wolverine without his healing factor countering it, has actually stuck in continuity. Of all things. Taylor actually expands it, saying the swords-smith made a shield from some of Logan's more noble aspects without telling him. And then he makes a suit of armor from bits of Laura, Gabby, and Daken's souls. You can judge what you think of the design yourself.

 

I feel like the mask reminds me of Ogun's oni mask from the Kitty Pryde and Wolverine mini-series a little more than is maybe good, given that guy's past history with Logan. Actually a little surprised Ogun has never tried to start shit with Laura. Although he may be completely dead these days. Frank Tieri killed him off in his Wolverine run 20 years ago, but it was really just a soul appearing to dissipate, so that's easily wormed out of.

There's a couple of problems with the storyline. One is that, as Laura points out, she wasn't given a choice. She was raised in a lab and trained to be a weapon. Manipulated so that a trigger scent would send her into a killing frenzy, then thrown at anyone someone with money wanted dead. She is a victim as well. And Gabby, so far as I know, hasn't killed anyone who didn't try killing her first.

That doesn't clear the other four. Old Man Logan, Deathstrike, Sabretooth, and Daken (not to mention regular variety Logan) all have massive body counts, and have generally been unrepentant about it. At best, the Logans excuse it with "honor" or "vengeance" or "they deserved it". The other three can't even make that argument. I mean, Sabretooth really has no business not being executed, even if this is during that stretch where he'd been "inverted" by events in Axis, and is nominally not a terrible person.

Laura even acknowledges this right before she goes to make her pitch to the Orphans of X, by telling he and Deathstrike to leave because they are, as Creed notes, 'inexcusable.' So frickin' hand them over and let the Orphans kill them and be done with it. Show of good faith and all that. I'm also not sure about the idea that the location of the wound doesn't heal, but if you cut away the affected areas, you're fine, and that having a seemingly unlimited timeline. I mean, it had to have been at least several hours, if not a day or more, from when those three get shot in the brain and anyone removing the bullet, and they heal back up. 

They were dead. That's kind of pushing it. (Also, if the sword works by cutting at a 'molecular level', then why do the bullets do anything? Bullets don't cut; they tear or push.)

The idea behind the threat is a decent one, but the realities of the characters mean the ending doesn't entirely land, even if Laura's actions feel in keeping with the direction Taylor was trying to move her. It's hard to picture Logan doing this, rather than just deciding they tried to kill him, so mass slaughter is once again acceptable. but Laura's tying to move past being a weapon, and probably set a good example for Gabby.

Gabby continues to be a delight. At some point I'll get the first six issues and hopefully understand how she's as well adjusted as she is, but she's great fun. Cabal's artwork is as expressive here as it would be on the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man run he did with Taylor a couple of years later, and that fits well with her character, as she's a very animated child. 

 

And for the first time I can recall, Daken actually adds something to a book he appears in. His interactions with Gabby are different from how she and Laura interact, since he definitely behaves like an older sibling. Alternately encouraging and insulting her, as it suits him. That's kind of how Daken normally is, the guy that enjoys winding people up, or else egging other people on, whatever makes things more fun. Turns out he's the one who gave her the "Honey Badger" codename, which doesn't detract from its coolness (much), but he also tells her at one point their aliases don't need backstories, to her annoyance.

Cabal also draws Laura as a bit more muscular than most artists, especially in the shoulders and the jawline. I think she's doing a lot of chin-ups. It makes sense; most artists seem to take the approach that she inherited all her looks from her mother, and everything else from Logan (she's already taller than him). But it wouldn't be a surprise if she got his broad shoulders and jaw.

I feel like Cabal also does a little better with the flow of fight scenes here than he did in Friendly Neighborhood, although there aren't a ton of them. Daken's initial escape from the Orphans is done pretty well. The surprised expression on the face of the dog Daken hurls at one person is kind of hilarious. In Daken's defense, the dog had been trying to kill him. In the dog's defense, Daken's kind of a prick and he deserves it.