Random Back Issues #112 - Fantastic Four #296

Yes, more of that.

The 25th anniversary issue of Fantastic Four feels like it's following up on the conclusion of The Thing's series, where Ben was mutating further and decided to go off alone to die (pausing briefly to save the West Coast Avengers in issue 10 of their book).

Here, though, Ben is rocking (no pun intended) his traditional look as he tromps through the rain to where Reed's defective rocket crashed down. Bemoaning how he's still a 'walkin', breathin' monster', Ben enlists pilot and childhood friend Hopper Hertnecky to fly him to Monster Island. Hopper then visits the FF to tell them, Ben asked to be left alone, because he knew Reed would track him down sooner or later.

On the way out the door Hopper also, correctly, points out it's Reed's fault Ben's how he is, and makes his own plea to drop the issue. While Johnny flies around stopping bank robbers and beating himself up about dating Alicia, Sue finds Reed brooding and tells him, no, it's not Reed's fault Ben was transformed by cosmic rays Reed swore his spaceship was shielded against, and that Ben has been tormenting Reed all these years by sulking over his fate. His fate of being transformed into a rock monster because Reed was too certain of his own genius to allow more testing on his ship before asking Ben to pilot it.

Amazing that Sue manages to be more unlikable than Reed. Of course, she's the one who called Ben a coward for expressing doubts about the cosmic rays in the first place. So maybe she's just covering her own ass. I'm starting to think Sue deserves being married to Reed Richards.

Anyway, Reed's determined to have it out with Ben one last time, so the Fantastic Three fly to Monster Island, leaving She-Hulk, Alicia, and Wyatt behind. They find themselves immediately overwhelmed by all the monsters.

On Monster Island. Because they didn't bring the super-strong member of their team. What genius is driving this clown car?

They wake up to find The Thing standing over them, dressed like his new pal. That's right, Mole Man's got an entire society for ugly people, and Ben's his general! Having found a place he thinks he belongs, Ben wants to apologize to Reed for 'taking it out on him all those years.' I choose to believe Ben's just saying this to get them to go the fuck away. The last thing Reed Richards needs is people apologizing to him. Ben decides to be a good host and give them a tour, including showing them the enormous machine Mole Man promises will cause a new island to form in the middle of the Pacific, just for their society.

Reed's suspicious, especially once Mole Man calls them back, worried about such a breach of security. Then Alicia shows up, having asked Hopper to fly her to Monster Island. Quite why he listened, after insisting they should leave his friend be, I don't know. I guess Ben Grimm just has lousy taste in friends. Before she passes out, Alicia mumbles she had to come, so great was her fear of what Ben might do to Johnny. Ben later has an unproductive conversation with Alicia, where she says he was too self-absorbed and she needed someone gentle and understanding.

Re-read those qualifications, then consider she's dating Johnny Storm. Alicia might just be an idiot.

In a sour mood, Ben finds Reed and Sue making a ruckus looking for Johnny. Reed of course insists Ben needs to listen, so Ben punches him in the face. But it turns out Mole Man took revenge for Ben, using some machine to make Johnny, gasp, physically unattractive! Ben orders the lot of them sent to the surface, but Reed, never one to know when not to poke the bull, is determined to go back down. He's sure Mole Man's machine is going to create a new island through vulcanism, the resultant tsunamis killing millions.

He also describes Ben as, 'an innocent dupe whose only mistake is putting his trust in the wrong man!' What else is new? Meanwhile, in trying to get answers out of Mole Man, Ben learns his buddy has a private holosuite where he pretends to hang out at parties with conventionally attractive women.

Confronted with the distressing reality his new friend would rather be with the pretty people up above and not the "uglies" he claims are like him, Ben is not in a great mood when he finds his old friends trying to trash island-maker. But he listens to Reed and helps wreck it, which causes the entire place to collapse. Johnny's hit by falling ceiling and Ben carries him to Mole Man's lab, and convinces him to undo what he did to Johnny. Matchstick can't be moved for 7 minutes, so Ben stands there holding up the ceiling while Mole Man retreats to seeming certain death in his crumbling dream world. He would, at minimum return in Byrne's second Sensational She-Hulk stint, trying to force her to marry him.

Reed, Sue, Alicia and Hopper watch the island collapse from an inflatable raft. Reed's determined to swim(?) down to get Ben and Johnny, over Sue's objections, but the guys surface and it's now six people, including a 500-pound rock guy, in one inflatable raft. But Ben seems willing to rejoin the FF rather than use Reed for dental floss, so, whoo-hoo?

{4th longbox, 112th comic. Fantastic Four #296, by Jim Shooter and Stan Lee (writers), Barry Windsor-Smith, Kerry Gammill, Ron Frenz, Al Milgrom, John Buscema, Marc Silvestri, and Jerry Ordway (pencilers), Windsor-Smith, Vince Colletta, Bob Wiacek, Klaus Janson, Steve Leialoha, Joe Rubenstein, and Joe Sinnott (inkers) Glynis Oliver (colorist), John Workman (letterer)}