Anyway, in the Quinjetta, Flatman is pretty sure if Maelstrom combines the chronal accelerator he stole with an atomic inverter, he could push the universe to the point of cosmic implosion. Doorman dismisses the notion the GLA could ever get mixed up in something so big, until they find Dr. Doom trapped beneath Bertha inside their HQ! Wait, no, it's not Doom, it's past team member (at some point), Gene Lorrene, aka Leather Boy. Angry at not being invited to rejoin during the membership drive that netted them Squirrel Girl, he killed Mr. Immortal (it didn't take, any more than Craig's attempts to get alcohol poisoning will), and, uh, oh, did something awful to Monkey Joe.
While Flatman and Doorman debate whether wearing leather makes a person homosexual, resulting in Flatman coming out of the closet, Deathurge shows up for Monkey Joe's soul. He's been hanging around Mr. Immortal all his life, but now he's in squirrel form, so Craig can beat him up for some answers about why. And the answer is. . .?
Yes, it's Craig's destiny to be the last thing alive in the universe - until Al Ewing insists he can be killed in Immortal Hulk, but that's 15 years away - and Deathurge has been preparing him for that. Why? If Craig can't die, there's nothing he can do except sit and wait for a lot of years to pass. Or is it no good if the grief and isolation drive him mad? Whatever, if Maelstrom succeeds in his plan, there's no cosmic destiny, because the universe will be gone.
Wouldn't Craig still be alive in whatever it is universes exist in? The gaps between the different realities or something? Whatever. Craig, as a one-man species, Homo supreme, has to stop Maelstrom. Does the comic then make a joke about the word "homo"? You know it.
The GLA arrive at Maelstrom's base, but he's got Batroc's Brigade to keep them busy, Batroc being unaware Maelstrom plans to end all existence. Mr. Immortal leaves that fight to the others, so it's fortunate Squirrel Girl brought the squirrel army. Zaran the Weapons Master's gonna have a hard time living this down next time he goes after Shang-Chi. Maelstrom activates the machine, but Mr. I's sure he could stop him if he could just get through the, 'impregnable dome of proto-natural force!' So Doorman throws himself against the barrier to allow Craig to pass through via his very-limited teleportation powers. And that's the third member of the team killed in 4 issues. 4, if you count Monkey Joe.
As the universe collapses in on itself and Batroc realizes he's not gonna get paid, Doorman arrives in Oblivion, finding a poker game held by his former teammates. Including Monkey Joe, so I guess he counts. Hawkeye's the exception, because the Internet says he's the Swordsman. I do not remember that rumor, but I wasn't in the comics blogosphere back then. Back in the waning moments of the universe, Craig talks it out with Maelstrom, who admits to feeling terribly alone as a unique being, a mutant and an Eternal. Mr. Immortal points out if Maelstrom destroys the entire universe save himself, he'll have nothing but his loneliness. Having not considered this, Maelstrom pleads for a solution to this self-created dilemma, which Mr. Immortal offers in the form of. . .shooting himself in the head. There's no way Maelstrom could be that stupid.
I bet Quasar will really feel like a loser when he finds out that's all it takes to stop this guy. Mr. Immortal gets back up, obviously, and deactivates the machine. But it was too late for many of the squirrels, save one plucky gal Doreen decides to name Tippy-Toe, not to mention Flat - oh, no, never mind, he's alive, just standing at an angle because his costume got sucked off. Before Mr. Immortal can explain Doorman died, Doorman returns! On skis. With a cape. 'Cause he's the new Swordsman. I mean, Deathurge.
The mini-series concludes with no mention of the GLA saving existence, and the team being sued by the Maria Stark Foundation to stop calling themselves Avengers. But hey, Mr. Immortal mentioned being some sort of mutant earlier! Squirrel Girl's a mutant - or not, per her own series, but that retcon's over 10 years away. So are Flatman, Bertha, and Doorman. So it's the Great Lakes X-Men now!
(The X-Men would subsequently use mind control to make them stop during the last issue of Dan Slott's The Thing series. Because the X-Men are gatekeeping assholes. But Mr. Immortal would win the name "Champions" in a poker tournament later that issue, much to Hercules' displeasure.)
{4th longbox, 209th comic. GLA #4, by Dan Slott (writer), Paul Pelletier (penciler), Rick Magyar (inker), Wil Quintana (colorist), Dave Lanphear (letterer)}
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