The Comic Hamster Wheel

The Stanley Parable: DeLuxe Edition is an expanded version of the original game, where you play as Stanley, some faceless office drone who one day finds himself alone in the office, save for an unseen Narrator, who tries to direct Stanley on where to go and what to do.

His effectiveness is up to you. Narrator can tell you to take the left door to see if everyone is in the conference room, but if you take the door to the right, he can't do anything other than comment that maybe Stanley just had to check out the break room first. To appreciate it.

The funny thing is, the first time I played, I stumbled on what I think is the ultimate ending. I ignored Narrator's instructions to enter the super-secret room and instead took the hallway marked "Certain Death." Which soon put me on a conveyor belt towards two massive, crushing piledrivers, only for a different voice to intervene. That voice pleaded with me to recognize that all these "choices" are really just an illusion and neither Stanley or Narrator have any free will, and I should go outside. Easy for her to say, from whatever ivory tower disembodied voices exist in. It's humid outside, and there's bugs, and sunlight, and, ugh, people.

Stanley eventually winds up on the conveyor again and gets crushed to death, only to find himself back in his office. Which is where you always find yourself, eventually. There are changes here and there. The door to the broom closet will open, but if you go inside too many times, Narrator boards it up on the next respawn. He grants you a bucket you can carry to feel better, but then decides he wants the bucket, or wants you to destroy the bucket, or the bucket seizes control of Stanley's existence. The game eventually calls itself Stanley Parable II, because Narrator thinks he can do a better job of making a new version of the game than this. I don't know about that, the Jump Circle was pretty fun.

There's a lot jokes about doing things in games just to get an "achievement." Narrator adds little trophies for you to find, but it's meant to be just for the satisfaction of finding them, not because it unlocks something. Narrator enjoys the experience so much, he creates a museum within the game for you to relive the experience of finding them. Then he wants to try reliving the experience in reverse, so he has you go backwards through the museum collecting the trophies another time.

One actual Achievement says to click on a particular door 5 times. If you do that, Narrator complains that you can't really feel like you accomplished something, and runs you through a series of hoops (not literal hoops, just extra tasks) before the game will mark you as having completed the Achievement. I didn't mind, I found the whole thing hilarious. Laughing my ass off while I climbed on someone's desk and stood there for a few seconds before running down the hall to click on a different door three times.

Stanley's relationship with Narrator varies, or maybe it's just Narrator that varies. (Stanley has no more personality than I ascribe to him as I make him do stuff.) Sometimes he's insulting, even cruel when he can convince Stanley to follow orders. Other times, he tries to be helpful, and can sound hurt when Stanley won't cooperate. In one stretch, in an attempted show of good will, he guides Stanley to a room with gentle music and shifting lights, like you're having a (relaxed) freakout in a sensory deprivation tank.

You can stay there as long as you want, but the game doesn't progress, so eventually you guide Stanley away from tranquility and harmony to. . .a staircase. A staircase to nothing, which you keep walking Stanley up and off and back up again until he dies, Narrator asking if you really hate him that much. I'd have felt bad if not for all those times he mocked Stanley when I had him do what Narrator wanted.

I played the game for one day, but for several hours straight. Just running Stanley through different paths, down different trails, trying things to see if I could find still more trails. Hey, can I drop from the top of this shelving unit to the warehouse floor? Nope, that killed me. Let's try hitting buttons on this keyboard. Let's try to take the bucket through the door that prohibits buckets. So on and so forth. Now we'll see if the PS4 still works in a decade, so I can unlock the Achievement "Super Go Outside" by not playing for 10 years! That oughta shut that Uber-Narrator up, friggin' buzzkill. . .