Overdue Movie Reviews #3 - Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

When the Miami Dolphins' mascot goes missing right before the Super Bowl, there's only one man to call: Ace Ventura, pet detective (Jim Carrey.) Should he be the man one the case when the Dolphins' quarterback, Dan Marino (Dan Marino) is abducted as well? No, but the Dolphins are desperate to avoid decades of ineptitude.

Too bad, they're getting the ineptitude anyway (last playoff victory: December 30, 2000.)

I don't think I realized how much of this movie is Jim Carrey almost addressing the camera. Sometimes he's breaking the 4th wall, like when the owner of the dog he rescues at the beginning asks if he wants her to take his pants off, and he looks at us and says, "Gee, let me think." But a lot of times, it's just him doing Jim Carrey shit while looking into the camera. Almost like he's talking to his reflection, which would at least suggest Ace acts that ways because he's just like that, rather than for anyone around him.

But the movie is basically Jim Carrey doing Jim Carrey stuff for 90 minutes. I'd forgotten that it was during the scene where he's pretending to be committed that he finds the news article about the missing woman hiker, so I spent most of it thinking this was in the movie just to give Carrey an opportunity to act like a football player while wearing a tutu. Like, it wouldn't even end up being relevant to the plot. 

Really, that's a description better used for the fancy dinner party where he survives a shark attack. All it does is eliminate a suspect, not provide any clues as to the actual culprit. But Ace can act weird around high society types, eating fancy foods messily, and embarrass Courteney Cox's character by coming out of the bathroom in torn up clothes.

It's a humor barrage approach, Carrey constantly acting weird or childish and people reacting to it. The exaggerated walk, the goofy voices, pretending his butt has a mind of its own, which I definitely would have found bizarre when this movie came out. I can't remember if I thought it was funny. Probably, butts were funny to me back then. Heck, Alex still uses "Do NOT go in there," when he comes out of the bathroom, and we both crack up.

(Though, seriously, when he says that, I believe him.)

Some of it works, some of it doesn't. The part where he demonstrates the team official's death couldn't have been suicide because the soundproof glass sliding door had to be shut after he fell, by singing while sliding the door open and shut repeatedly cracks me up. The montage of him trying to check the Dolphins' '84 AFC Championship rings for a missing stone, too (encouraging one guy to punch him in the forehead so he can count the stone by the impression they left.)

But the plot hinges on an angry kicker getting a sex change operation to become a cop (using the identity of the missing hiker) as part of this scheme to take revenge on the Dolphins and Marino. The movie has one scene of Ace being horrified he, 'kissed a man.' You could argue (if you care to) the humor is in Ace's overreaction. Using a plunger on his face, burning his clothes in a trashcan and jumping crying into the shower. But given the scene at the end where Ace reveals Lt. Einhorn has a dick tucked back, and dozens of cops all freak out, I don't know. Doesn't seem great.

There's also that strange bit where Ace is sulking that he couldn't find a ring missing a stone, and when Cox's character suggests maybe the stone was from something else after all, he starts insulting her weight. The stuff about her dog not being happy at least felt on point for a character so concerned with animals, who is also feeling defensive. The ugly comments about someone who has been trying to help him, not really funny.

It is such a weird scheme. Finkel disappears, becomes a woman, and somehow rises to the rank of lieutenant in the Miami police, ensuring that when Marino goes missing, Finkel/Einhorn can control the investigation and make sure it never catches her? That seems like a lot of effort with low odds of paying off (there's no throwaway line the Finkel studied criminal justice while setting NCAA kicking records.) But the police station always seems to be full of cops to mock Ventura, so clearly they're not doing anything. Any basic level of competence could probably get a person promoted.

In the movie, the Dolphins lost the '84 Super Bowl because Finkel shanked a short field goal. In reality, the Dolphins lost that Super Bowl because Joe Montana lit their defense's ass up (final score: 38-16.) It's funny to envision Finkel sitting there, staring at the scoreboard and wondering how the hell he's taking the blame. "We were down 2 touchdowns when I missed that field goal!" "Shut up, kicker." (The Dolphins kicker actually made all 3 of his field goals in that Super Bowl.)

Bringing the albino pigeon back for a gag right at the end was a nice touch. Especially since it resulted in Ace beating the crap out of the Eagles' mascot. I don't know why he was embarrassed, the Dolphins' fans probably loved it. It was gonna end up the high point of the game after the Eagles finish crushing them. (Although the Eagles were deeply mediocre at this point in time.)

I like the bit where Einhorn's goon says, "Hey Marino, I'm throwing passes to a Dolphin!" then spikes the ball in the water in front of the Snowflake, the Dolphins' mascot. Not just because the Dolphin splashes the guy, but Marino makes this disappointed shake of the head which is probably supposed to be him not approving of animal mistreatment, but could easily be, "That was a terrible pass, do you play for the Jets?"