Gullible's Travels - Cash Peters

This is the story of Cash Peters' last six months as the guy a radio station sends to check out weird or quirky roadside attractions and theme parks. Like the Sound of Music theme park, in Salzburg, which Peters has been sent to on at least 5 occasions.

OK, actually it's his last 18 months as the guy a radio station sends to check out weird or quirky roadside attractions and theme parks. It was supposed to be six months, but he was either really bad about shifting to another career path, or not working at it very hard.

This doesn't really include the Sound of Music theme park, outside a brief description of it as one of his periodic dissertations on how his job is not nearly so fun and keen as you imagine. Well shit man, I knew that as soon as I saw there was part of a chapter spent on the Precious memories park in Carthage, Missouri. I have driven past that place more than once for work, I can guess what hell exists within its confines and there is no realistic amount of money you could pay me to visit.

Though if there was a realistic amount of money, and I went, the end result would probably be much like Peters, in terms of people sending me e-mails telling me what an evil, horrible person I was. The difference is, Peters actually seemed fairly charmed by the set-up, whereas I would be on the verge of running out screaming, clawing at my face and speaking in tongues.

For the most part, Peters is taking a humorous, exaggerated approach. He's pretty evenly split between places he's excited to visit (the Museum of Dirt) and places he's basically going under protest (the barbed wire museum.) And in those categories, he's fairly evenly split between places he ends up enjoying (the National Bird Dog Museum,) and those he ends up hating or being swiftly bored by (the Museum of Dirt, Graceland.)

Either way, there are certain recurring gags. His tendency to seize on any opportunity that's free; he calls almost every PR person he encounters "Lisa," because apparently all PR people are named that; his 10 rules of life, of which there are 32; his phobia of confrontation because he's British. I was not aware that was an issue. I thought the British did confrontation, but in a very faux-polite, backhand insult manner. Like, you aren't sure if they're actually pissed, but you know they're looking down their nose at you? Well, learn something new everyday.

I think the parts I enjoyed the most were often the effort he expended trying to reach some of these places. When no one could confirm a place existed, and he starts calling around or accosting random people on the street or harassing his producer for help finding the place. Or when he thought he was getting a tour of a particular farm in Minneapolis, only to learn he was getting a formal tour of Minneapolis. So disappointed. Whether he actually finds the place, or whether he actually enjoys it once he gets there, is beside the point. I'm not sure there was one place he visited in this book that I would want to visit myself. But getting a front-row seat to his Sisyphean task of finding this place or that place is entertaining.

'I snapped shut my notebook and swore by the seven golden fleeces of Sinbad to track down this Museum of Dirt that nobody would let me see. It might take me a few days, but I would find it, oh yes, and when I did I would fix up an appointment with the curator personally, and insist that he give me a guided tour. And Lisa - well, Lisa could go screw herself-f-f.'