It's A Very Special Day After Thanksgiving

[D-Pool is here! Hey, where's your family? I thought we were having Thanksgiving together.] {We are. I had a quiet family Thanksgiving yesterday. Today is the sure to be disastrous blog family Thanksgiving.} [Embarassed to introduce me to your folks, huh? That hurts me in my soft places.] {You're focusing on the "family" part, when you ought to be concentrating on the "quiet" part, though perhaps you're unfamiliar with the term.} [I can be quiet!] {Right. Didn't you once say 'stealth ninja tactics can kiss my scabby heinie'?} [That was Fabian! I'm working with Daniel now! I left all my grenades at home just for this occasion!] {Yes, but you brought the chair made of explosives.} [I like my Boom chair! It's surprisingly comfy for my scabby heinie.] Hey guys, I'm here! Where's the food? {On the counter, dig in. There's two kinds of stuffing.}

Why two kinds? {One batch has sage in it.} [Poor Sage, from Claremont's New Exiles, to a side dish. Come to think of it, that may be a step up.] {That's mean Wade. You should be giving thanks. . . that you aren't being written by Claremont these days.} Yeah, but if Claremont had written him 20 years ago, then Wade would probably get to be in X-books a lot more often. {Deadpool didn't exist back yet.} [Not for lack o' trying. I was outside Claremont's house every night, throwing rocks at his window, begging for a chance. I coulda been a Marauder. But nooo, he went with that tramp Scalphunter.] {Easy Deadpool, have some mashed potatoes.} [Thanks, hey I almost forgot! I brought corn dogs!] For Thanksgiving? {Never look a corn dog bearing gift merc in the mouth. Gimme some of those. They aren't stuffed with anything are they?} [Like cheese?] {I was thinking plastic explosives. Or laxatives.} [I used all that up for my Boom chair.]

Can I give Darkhawk a Hug while we eat? I felt bad that he didn't get any Nova Force. [Poor kid. I'll put in a good word for him with my fellow Nova Corpsmen.] {You're not part of the Nova Corps.} [Then why do I have a smelly yellow bucket with a red star on it?] {Because you just came back from Bizarro China? You think anybody got that joke?} No. [That was a joke? Bob makes funnier jokes in his sleep.] How would you know that? [I'd sneak in his room to booby-trap his toothbrush.] {What happened to Bob?} [He wanted to go spend some quality time with his wifey. I'm sure they should be sick of each other anytime now. He'll come crawling back.] I think I could give the Serpent Society some Hugs. They were just scared. [Scared of what? The Skrulls are a buncha losers. I beat them up, and it only took 3 issues.] Then why is Norman Osborn getting all the credit? {Yeah. You know he stole that transmission you tried to send Fury, right?} [He did? Man, Nicky-baby didn't pay me 'cause of that! Hey, what's this stuff?] {Apple salad.} It's really good! [Then stop hogging it! How does a little panda eat so much?] {Wade, I think you've downed about three pounds of turkey since you got here.} [Look who's talking, Before Subway Jared. What happened to all those corn dogs I brought?] {*Burp*}

I think Starlord needs a Hug, too, since he's in the Negative Zone and all. [We should rescue him!] {What?} [This apple salad is good stuff.] {Did you say we should rescue Starlord from Blastaar?} [Hmm? Yeah, probably. I mighta been thinking of when Weas needed me to go back and save him from that HYDRA base.] I thought you were saving him from Wolverine. [Him too. But you know, if we save Starlord, we could free Blastaar's ladies too. You just know they've never been with an Earth guy before.] Do you have any whipped topping for the pie? {In the fridge. If you do this Wade, you ought to concentrate on how you're going to beat Blastaar first.} [Bet those alien ladies have never seen whipped topping before. Or pie. Possibilities.] What? They don't know about pie?! We have to help them! {Fine, we'll send them some pamphlets about the how wonderful pie is. Two requests ABP, give Warlock a bonk, and Quasar some applause.} Sure, but why? {Well, Adam's going to try and take over this Universal Church, and that certainly won't end well, and Quasar is trying to keep Drax from destroying things, which is a difficult, but worthwhile profession.} OK, Bonk for Adam Warlock, Applause for Quasar. [You're out of pie! And stuffing!] {What?! Jeez, Wade, next year, you make Thanksgiving dinner.} Are you sure about that? {Good point. OK, next year, you pay for the fixings, we'll do the making. Or we'll go out. You'll have struck it rich with your merc work by then. Killing Norman Osborn ought to bring in millions alone.} [Kill him? I was going to send threatening letters written in crayon.] {That makes me cry, Wade. Won't anyone kill Norman Osborn?} Didn't you invite UnCalvin? {Yeah. Thought it might be a good opportunity to put our differences aside. Guess UnCalvin was feeling too impolite to let me know one way or the other.}