The Summer Doesn't Go By Nearly As Fast When Sweating Your Tail Off

Adorable Baby Panda: What are you up to?

Calvin: {I was checking if that classical station I liked listening to shifted to some other spot on the dial. No such luck More time spent listening to CDs while in the car, I guess. So how's your summer?}

ABP: Busy. I built a tree house, and went to the beach, and played baseball and went camping.

Calvin: {Wow, sounds like a lot of fun.}

ABP: It's really training disguised as play. Learn to build outposts, familiarize myself with our enemies' habitat, improve my accuracy with throwing weapons, and work on survival skills.

Calvin: {It sounds a lot less fun when you put it that way. The demands of being in a relentless war with penguins. Are you having any actual fun?}

ABP: Yeah. I learned field medicine, it was neat. If you ever get hit by shrapnel from an ice-and-mackerel mortar, I can fix you up! Oh, and I've been with my friends the whole time, that's fun. We make funny comments and get into hijinks that annoy our parents.

{Uh, great? Can we move to happier topics?} Sure! Hush needs a Bonk for stealing all the other villains' bits. {Terry needs one for getting too excited about having a Catwoman.} Yeah, but he has to deal with Bruce Wayne, he ought to get a Hug with the Bonk. {You could hit Old Man Bruce Wayne.} Uh-uh. {Why? Because he's old?} No, because he's scary. {Point. Hey, how about some Applause for Catwoman, a villain not worried about vendettas or murder sprees, just trying to make a buck? It's refreshingly old school.} I suppose.

{How about some hugs for Power Girl's employees? They don't even know why their boss seems preoccupied with stuff other than her company being taken away by the filthy bankers.} I don't that's fair to bankers. {Not fair to lose your job because a coworker embezzled all the company's money, either.} I thought she was going to turn up dead. {That just means she had a partner who killed her after she served her purpose. Probably Max Lord, that nose-bleeding bastard.} I thought you weren't going to curse around me. {If you're dressing field wounds, you're going to hear profanity anyway.} Teach me some others! {No. I'd prefer other people be responsible for your corruption, so your mother's on their case, not mine. Now howzabout the Hugs?} Sure, fine.

{You don't seem enthused by my suggestions.} They're fine, I just wanted to learn more swears. {I'm sure you will, someday.} But Creedance says someday never comes! {Fine, you'll learn them in time. Better?} Not at all. {Too bad.} When do I hear what you've been up to this summer? {They'll be a recap of last week up tomorrow. It was too eventful not to discuss. You want to do something that's not training disguised as fun?} Yes! Can we watch movies in the air conditioning while eating junk food? {Do Catholic bears relieve themselves in the Vatican?} In its restrooms, yes. {Huh. Learn something new every day.}