Saturday, March 01, 2014

You Know It's Horrible, But You'd Watch It Again

What's a bad movie you've watched way too many times?

The reason why doesn't matter: Could be a friend's fault, or a child or young relation's doing. Could be you thought it was great at the time, and it's only later you saw it differently. Could simply be that various movie channels showed it a lot when you happened to have nothing to do.

I don't know that I have a current one. Nowadays, I try to just catch the parts I enjoy, and skip the rest. So with Transporter, I like the part immediately after Statham's car is blown up, when he comes charging back into the bad guy's home and beats up the goons who were playing cards. Alas, I didn't have that much common sense when I was younger, so I can think of a few possibilities.

Blankman for one. Look, at the time there weren't a lot of superhero movies. The Batman franchise was moving into the blasted hellscape of the Joel Schmacher years, Blade, Spidey, and the X-Men were years away. So yeah, Damon Wayans movie about a poor, socially awkward but clever guy making himself a low-budget crimefighter, I watched that.

Maybe The Client doesn't qualify as bad, I don't know. I'm sure it wasn't good enough for me to watch it every time HBO put aired it, and they aired it a lot. It's the only Grisham story I've read or watched, probably because a kid was prominently featured. Of course I was into the story of the smartmouthed kid outwitting the mob, federal attorneys, and juvie hall.

If I were going to pick just one, though, it'd be In the Army Now. Oh, late '90s Calvin liked Pauley Shore movies way too much. That's not fair to '90s Calvin. I'd probably sit down and watch it if it came on right now. Parts of it make me laugh, but I'm not under any illusions it's a great comedy. It's kind of impressively stupid, but still optimistic in that the lazy goofball finds some direction, figures out his strengths.

So those are my choices. I considered The Rock or Con Air, but at least with the former, I don't think it's a bad movie. Give Connery and Ed Harris credit for that. As for the latter, I think I employed the "tune in for specific parts" strategy.

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