Plot: Jim and Peter are attacked by Queen Slug-for-a-Butt while Jim puts up overly elaborate Christmas decorations. Jim defeats her with lawn ornaments and exploding gifts, and after a random pee joke about Peter writing his name in the snow, we move on.
To the Queen asking her royal loony about Christmas while she works out. She's intrigued by Santa's ability to infiltrate homes, and resolves to hunt him down and bend him to evil. By the time Jim learns of Santa's abduction - from Walter, who as a mall Santa is attuned to the real deal through a chip in his brain - Santa is already gone. A search only reveals a lot of people hate Santa, but they eventually head to the Queen's lair, where she has successfully altered Santa's mind with brain modification. Off they go to Earth, to put mind control devices on all the children. Except the first house they reach, Jim, Peter, and the Princess are already there. The latter two fight the Queen, leaving Jim to make a heartfelt plea to Santa to remember the good times. This touches Santa's soul, blah blah, he returns to his old self, then transforms into Wotan, Norse God of Vengeance and drags the Queen off somewhere. Christmas is saved, and this series is over.
Quote of the Episode: Queen Slug-for-a-Butt - 'It sounds so absurd, but once you mentioned the magical flying sleigh, it all makes sense.'
Times Peter turns into a monster: 1 (20 overall).
Cow? Yes, inside a giant fruitcake, which might be worse than having a cow fall on you.
Other: The narrator was at least willing to do his job this week.
Jim knitted antennae warmers for the Princess, and bought Peter a Haggis maker. Which says a lot about how important the two are to him, relative to each other.
Only now, at the end, do I realize I should have been keeping count of how many times Jim says "Doomed". It's usually at least three times an episode, right after the point when they were about to go to commercial at a suspenseful part.
The Queen flattens our heroes with an impressive flip, and attributes it to her aerobics workouts, but she's also drawn with some pretty cut shoulders and upper arms. So I'm guessing she doesn't skimp on the weights either.
This week in '90s references, one witness describes Santa's kidnapper as an insect with a butt the size of a Macy's parade balloon. Which causes Jim to guess it was Rush Limbaugh. An insult to the Queen there. The Queen confirms that her brainwashing works by making Santa state that Val Kilmer was OK as Batman, but that no one fills the tights like Adam West. Which is just silly, everyone knows Michael Keaton was the best live-action Batman.
The Queen hates raisins, so maybe Jim should buy her some of those next year, instead of the exploding gift gag.
Peter questions whether Jim's decorations should reveal the location of their secret base, but hell, all of Jim's enemies already know where he lives. Which does make it easy to fight evil, since it pretty much throws itself on his doorstep every week.
Anyway, that's the end of another series. I don't know what's coming next yet. Guess we'll find out next week.
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2 comments:
This is the only episode I remember, and then only the Santa-Wotan bit. I remember thinking it was hilarious at the time, and for some reason, it stayed with me.
Kelvin: The Santa-Wotan thing caught me completely off-guard.
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