Ineffective Are The Peacemakers

{Last time, Deadpool had arrived to help wreck Pollock's old business sufficiently to hurt its value so she could manage a takeover, not realizing Pollock had already regained controlled through threats and extortion. Pollock has tried reasoning with the mercenary while Captain Androzier brings in a secret weapon, but Deadpool is being unpleasantly stubborn. . .}

*As Deadpool hefts an explosive, Pollock leaps out from behind the workbench only to wind up with a bolo around her legs. However, she's still able to throw one of the canisters with the fast-expanding polymer at Deadpool. In an instant, the merc is stuck in place, encased in the large foam-like substance, one hand holding a primed explosive, the other stuck trying to draw a gun from its holster.*

Deadpool: [Paste-Pot Pete's gonna be pissed you stole his thing.]

Pollock: *untangling the bolo* Let him, I have better lawyers. Now will you calm down and listen?

Deadpool: [Let me try shooting first.] *The bullets strike the floor around his feet harmlessly*

Pollock: *rising to her feet* Well?

Deadpool: [Hang on, let me try thinking of my loved ones for a surge of adrenaline so I can break free. Hmm, dead, dead, pissed at me, pissed at me, has other friends, has other parents. . . well, poop.]

Pollock: *starting to question not using lethal force* Now?

*At that moment, the captain returns*

Androzier: Commandant, I've brought it.

Slightly nasal voice from the hall: Hey, I have a name now. It's Stefan.

*The Blender Furby, still perched on the Predator Drone's decapitated body, enters the room dressed in a pair of loose sweatpants and a t-shirt with a unicorn next to a fountain on it*

Deadpool: [What the hell is that?!]

Pollock: Stefan is a quite attentive listener, so I'm sure he can help us resolve all this. Right, Stefan?

Stefan: Well, I was in the middle of painting a bowl of fruit, so I'm just going to pull his head off. That'll resolve things.

*Pollock looks at Androzier*

Androzier: Dr. Carlisle mentioned something about monitoring its reaction to spending a lot of time on the Inter - urk! *Stefan grabs the captain by the throat*

Stefan: I have a name, stop referring to me as an "it".

Pollock: *trying to calm things down* Stefan, it was a slip on the captain's part. I'm sure it won't happen again if you just let him down.

Deadpool: [I've got this.]

*Deadpool detonates the explosive he's holding, which does break through the polymer, but also blows off his arm. Fortunately(?), there was enough polymer between it and the rest of his body he's otherwise fine, though woozy. Stefan regards him for a moment, then drops Androzier.*

Stefan: *cracks knuckles, tries cracking neck, but he doesn't really have one, so. . .* Sure, why not?

*Stefan quickly closes the distance as Deadpool draws and swings a sword with his remaining arm. Stefan catches the arm in one hand, and begins punching Deadpool in the face with the other.*

Stefan: Sarcastic Coffeepot says hello.

Deadpool: [I don't know what that is.]

*Deadpool starts to fall backwards, only for Stefan to tighten his grip on Wade's arm, and pull him back. As he does, Deadpool raises both legs into the air and slams them into Stefan's chest, adding the not-inconsiderable force of Stefan's grip to his own. Stefan loses hold and stumbles back as Wade crashes to the ground. Pollock takes this opportunity to move between them.*

Pollock: OK, enough, there's no need for all this.

Deadpool: *lifts his mask to spit out a bloody tooth* [Well sure, there's never a need for violence. A desire for violence is another matter.]

*Deadpool has been moving to a crouch in these few seconds, as well as picking his sword back up. He abruptly lunges, forcing Pollock to leap backwards towards Stefan. Who casually grabs her shoulders, and gently sets her aside.*

Stefan: I agree with this expletive deleted. This is fun.

Deadpool: ['Expletive deleted'? That's the filthiest thing I've ever been called!]

Stefan: *almost gleeful* I'm having at you, Wernstrom!

*Pollock observes all this for a moment, then goes to check on her captain. He's shaken, kind of pissed off, but unharmed. Pollock hefts a radio.*

Pollock: Dr. Lakshmi, is the Wave Beam prototype mobile?

Dr. Lakshmi: If you can keep it connected to its power source in the lab.

Pollock: Captain, you'd better find a lot of extension cords and bring it down here on the double.

Androzier: Doesn't that risk more damage than the two of them are doing?

Pollock: To this room? Probably, but I'd like to stop this before it moves any further.

*Androzier nods and retreats swiftly. Pollock turns and surveys the fight, now in full swing. Deadpool is the more experienced fighter by far, but having only one arm is limiting his stabbing ability. Kicks and elbows aren't doing much against the wall of muscle the former Blender Furby is perched on. Though Wade is having success distracting Stefan by smacking him lightly across the face with the steadily-regenerating stump of his other arm. Annoyed, Stefan engages his cloaking device. An invisible fist sends Deadpool sailing across the room. The sword clatters to the floor again.*

Deadpool: [I know how to deal with invisible people.] *throws a smoke grenade* [Now he'll try to go high before the smoke can fill the room -]

*Stefan strides directly through the smoke, grabs Deadpool by the throat and slams him into the wall.*

Deadpool: *choking* [Why that shirt?]

Stefan: I like unicorns. They're like horses crossed with a rhinoceros, crossed with a bag of glitter.

Deadpool: *draws a lighter* [That answers my question, I can die fulfilled now. Did I mention this smoke is flammable? I like for my grenades to multitask. Conserves pouch space.]

*The flame spits to life and immediately blooms outward, engulfing both of them. Stefan howls and smashes Deadpool's head through the wall before releasing him. Fortunately, Pollock had grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher once Wade brought out the lighter and is able to smother the flames before it spreads. Let's hear it for Pollock's respect for proper safety equipment and procedures. Pollock approaches Stefan, who is coughing and rubbing his eyes.*

Pollock: Stefan, you see why you need to stop this. It's dangerous, not just for you, but to everyone else in this building. Deadpool's a (self)-destructive force you aren't prepared to handle.

Stefan: *raises his head, little face smeared with smoke, most of the fur burned off* Fine, I'll deal with him the way you intended for me to. Then I'll rip his head off. *Stefan's voice takes on an ominous drone* So, funny story, when the panda was looking for this place, he visited Deadpool once. Deadpool called me a living nightmare and asked if he could use me as a port-o-john.

Pollock: *staggers backwards before dropping to one knee* God, Wade, do you have to piss off everyone you meet?

Deadpool: *having freed his head from the masonry* [Sure! It's my superpower, along with farts and bad decision-making!] *stumbles* [What the hell is this, a drunk field? I feel more off-balance than usual, but with none of the usual night terrors! AIM's going, going to be pissed you stole their, their thing.] *reaches for his gun, but fumbles, spilling the contents of a few pouches* [Aw, this guy has barf powers! I have that power, too!]

*Deadpool tries for a nutshot, only for Stefan to calmly block it.*

Stefan: Funny story, you aren't actually funny. Maybe you need a hat you can drop at random moments.

*Stefan grabs Wade's throat in one hand, the top of his head with the other, and begins to twist.*

Deadpool: [Not, not with this writer, certainly.]

*Hmm, things are looking pretty bad for Deadpool. Maybe that was his ghost at Blog Thanksgiving! This is running longer than I intended, so I guess it's going to a Part 3.*