The Long Weekend in the Woods - Chapter 2

Pollock

The panda and I argued for a good five minutes before noticing the idiot had wandered off somewhere. It was a good thing we hadn't reached the point of throwing punches or it might have been longer. Only the two minutes I'd have needed to win, but still. It wasn't difficult for us to follow his trail and we met him coming back up the side of a hill. The panda yelled at him for leaving and wanted to know what he thought he was doing.

Calvin shrugged. "I went the direction you said to go." He was twirling some piece of metal around his finger. "Where did you think I went?"

A heavy paw reached out and stilled Calvin's wrist. "Where'd you find that?"

He jabbed his thumb back over his shoulder. "Down the hill. Looks like there was a skirmish."

"It has the scent of blood on it."

That got Calvin to slide the stake off his finger into the panda's paw. "Oh lovely. Anyone have a wet nap?"

I had some, but I wasn't sharing them with him. I was busy scanning the surrounding area. "Is the blood from anyone either of you know?"

The panda shook their head and started down the hillside. We didn't get far before I noticed something and called to them. "It's several pieces of a lightweight ceramic."

"Like a plate?"

"Somewhat, but designed to be strong for its weight and thickness. Not so good against sharp, precise impacts, but decent for something that's force is spread out. We were looking into it as a cheap defense alternative, but we couldn't figure out how to remove that vulnerability."

The fool gestured at the stake in the panda's paw. "So something like that could get through."

"With enough force behind it, yes."

"Well, I found it embedded in that tree over there."

I did the math in my head for a moment. "At close enough range, not more than 20 yards, that could do it."

"You been selling that stuff to any weekend warriors or meth dealers?"

"I told you, it wasn't perfected to our satisfaction yet. Actually, we abandoned the project a few years ago because we weren't getting anywhere. The kind of people who would buy armor aren't looking for budget stuff. They'll make that themselves."

Through all this, the panda had been roaming and sniffing. They sat up and gestured to the left. "The raccoons and their partners went that way. The others went the opposite direction."

"So who do we follow?" The panda didn't respond immediately, and then Calvin turned to me. "What are your thoughts?"

I didn't expect the question, and wasn't certain he was serious. He might just ask, then vote for the opposite of whatever I said. "You actually care about my opinion?"

He shrugged. "You're here, you get a vote. I'm indifferent, because I figure whichever direction we go, it'll get ugly."

I could have been annoyed, because it could be that he's saying my opinion doesn't really matter. But it could mean he wasn't uncertain, and open to being convinced if I could give a good reason for my preference. I turned to the Clever Adolescent Panda. "You know the raccoons, correct? And they dealt with you fairly?"

"I know some raccoons. These might not be the same ones."

"Still, they're at least possibly a known quantity, so there's a better chance of learning something without fighting."

The two exchanged a glance, and then Calvin spoke up. "You make a persuasive argument. Let's go!"

Just as he stepped forward, a piece of metal went whistling past his head. I turned back up the hill, but there was no one visible. They were staying on the backside of the ridge, firing in an arc, and more shots were incoming. Their aim wasn't very good, but there were enough shots one could get lucky at any time. I saw one of the projectiles strike the ground. it was a metal stake. I shouted at the panda, "Are you sure they went that way? Are you sure they aren't behind us?!"

"Shut up! You were the one who was sure we could talk with them!"

"Because you insisted that raccoons wouldn't do anything too terrible!"

"Just head downhill! We'll hide in that brush at the bottom!" Typical panda, defaults to going with gravity.

Calvin pointed overhead, "Anyone know why the raccoon up in that tree isn't shooting?"

"He's a spotter, they're trying to herd us!" I took off along the side of the hill. Up and over a ridge running downhill, into another hollow. But ahead on the next ridge were more raccoons, weapons at the ready, sitting on the backs of several bears. I wasn't getting caught. I made some quick gestures, raised one hand and shouted, "Flashbulb!"

It's a simple, but effective blinding spell. I saw them grimace and cover their eyes, and cut uphill, back towards the ridge we'd originally come from. Behind me I heard a familiar cry of alarm. Calvin had actually followed me, rather than the panda and my little blinding trick had made him trip and faceplant. There was no time to retrieve him, I told myself, and kept going.

Clever Adolescent Panda

I used gravity for all it was worth, so I was going at a pretty good clip. Twisting as I tumbled, pushing off nearby rocks or trees with one leg or arm to try and go in more unpredictable directions. It was a long hill, so I had a lot of speed by the time I crashed into the stand of shrubs and vines at the bottom of the hill. I ended up stopping halfway in, tangled in the vines, feeling bruised, but with no stakes sticking out of me.

That was when I noticed Calvin and Pollock weren't with me. I looked back up the hill to see if they were still coming, but all I saw were the raccoons scrambling my way. I pulled myself free of the vines as quietly as I could and tried to move further back and away from the very clear trail I'd left. I forget I'm not as small as I used to be. I was sure they could see the limbs shaking and rustling as I moved. So I sank to the ground, as flat as I could get, waiting for them to get close enough I could neutralize the advantage of their weapons.

But they wouldn't move any closer. One of them drew a stone from a pouch on their belt, and scraped a stake against it above the ground. It's been a dry year according to Calvin. It didn't take long for a fire to start at the edge of the brush.

"Nuts to this," I muttered, as I rose and charged out at full speed towards the one closest to me. I swatted at it with one paw, but grabbed its belt so it couldn't tumble away. I turned and hurled it at two of the others, and they went flying through the air like dandelion seeds. The others were falling back, but I lunged forward, covering ground in huge strides. I caught the one that started the fire, easily palming its head as I bellowed, 'Where did my friends go? TELL ME!"

The raccoon was squeaking incoherently, and I noticed how much bigger I was than it. Like I said, I forget I'm not as small as I used to be. So I also forget I can look more intimidating when I snarl now. As I saw the others rushing back towards me, I reflected the downside is that I'm too big to use the raccoon in my paw as any sort of shield if they started shooting.

That didn't seem necessary, though. One of the raccoons held it's paws up and stuttered, "Whoa, whoa, let's not dismember anybody here!"

"I don't want to dismember anyone. I just want to know where my friends are now."

"Sure, sure, no problemo. We'll tell ya, we'll tell ya. Ha!"

One of them had moved to the side and opened fire, and the others started in as well. I was flat-footed, so another quick rush was not happening. I ducked and rolled to get to a better position, tossing the one I held aside as I did. When I got all four paws under me I launched into the air, and then came back to earth with a crash. The shockwaves catapulted all of my opponents into the air and they crashed into the trees or hard ground on the way down.

"That's my Wondrous Thunder Smash. Jerks." Then I noticed they were all unconscious. No one to question, then. I could go back up the hill, try to find Calvin's scent, but I didn't know what I might run into. I still didn't know what was going on. OK, the raccoons are fighting someone, but who and why? And who are they working with? I needed answers, from someone that wouldn't shoot me. I didn't think I'd find that up the hill, so I turned back towards the bottom of the hill and started following the drainage. I could smell water ahead, maybe I'd find someone there.