The Long Weekend in the Woods - Chapter 10

Clever Adolescent Panda

Once the trap was sprung, everyone else came out of hiding and watched the scene. I felt bad for the Amilgars - I know how awful that sub-harmonic makes you feel - but it was better than being dead. Since things looked under control, I wanted to check on Calvin and Cassanee. He was leaning against the bluff, and she was standing nearby. They were both watching the trap, but their eyes both swung to me as I walked up.

"Nice save," Calvin said as he nodded. "They tried that jumping stunt a couple of times earlier. The second one almost did the trick."

I didn't respond at first. Instead I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "What were you thinking charging at them?!" Cassanee looked curious, too. I wasn't surprised she hadn't bothered to ask. "And don't just shrug!" I added.

"I wasn't going to only shrug," he's always such a smart aleck. He did explain what he was thinking, and well, it sort of made sense.

"It was still dumb," I told him when he finished.

Now he shrugged. "Everything we do is dumb, or at least ill-advised." He gave me a calm, even look. We weren't going to get a better chance."

I didn't have a good response to that. I just didn't like him taking the lead on crazy stunts. I'm stronger and faster, it should be me.

Like he read my mind, he replied, "You were staying hidden with the others like we planned, so you weren't down here. I was. I'm just glad you brought the Aura Lock grenades down with you. If you'd left them up there, I'da been pissed. Or dead. So are the fam sending in some help?"

"Uh-huh. I called last night when we had a minute. They're on the way now. Mom said there was a lot of grumbling, but she convinced them. It's not like we don't have the room."

"Yeah, but it's a long way to haul a potentially unstable force, unless you think that thing," he waved his hand at the trap, "can survive being transported all that way."

"Also dangerous to bring that force into your own fortress." Cassanee wasn't technically wrong, but I wasn't too worried about the Amilgars. The Citadel had withstood worse, and I was sure we could talk with them and convince them not to wreck everything.

"I think they're just mad I keep bringing in new stuff. First Dwiddel the robot-wizard, now these guys."

"You are a magnet for trouble," Calvin said with a grin.

"I only have trouble around you."

"Good sir, I believe that is my line." We kept that up for a few minutes, arguing the point, until we were interrupted by a high tone, light and airy laugh coming from Cassanee.

Calvin stared at her, then turned to me. "Have we ever heard her laugh?"

I scratched my head, trying to remember. "Maybe at one of the Blogsgivings?" I glanced at Cassanee to see if she'd answer, but she composed herself and gave us a silent smile instead.

Pollock dropped down next to us from the bluff above. "I didn't think she could do anything other than scoff and glare."

On cue, Cassanee glared at her, and scoffed. "Shouldn't you be watching your trap?"

"At this point, there's nothing to monitor. Anything that breaks couldn't be repaired without shutting it down anyway. It'll either hold, or it won't. But the raccoon engineer is working to make certain no one shuts the engine down by mistake." Pollock did look at the trap, and frowned. "That's an odd reaction. You might want to get those magic grenades ready."

I turned around, because they shouldn't be ready again so soon. But they weren't drawing anything from the crystals that I could see. Before they'd be rolling slowly on the ground. One might rise, then stumble before they could do anything. They weren't really getting up now, but they were thrashing around more, rolling on their backs, and their noises were increasing in volume.

Then one let out an awful, high-pitched squeal that made us all wince, and stopped moving entirely. The others got more agitated, trying harder to rise, but getting nowhere. Their muscles didn't seem to be listening. Some of them started trying to dig, and as more of them stopped moving, a couple tried to drag themselves on top. Like they could climb over the trap that way.

A few had reached the panels and weren't trying to tear them down, they were trying to go through. Just pushing forward even though it had to be making it harder to do anything. I didn't know what was happening. "Use the blasted grenades!" I heard Pollock yell.

"It's not the crystals, the grenades aren't going to help!"

She turned to Calvin. "The gas, then."

"It's just smoke, remember? Someone didn't want me to have knockout gas. You want them panicked worse?"

There were more high-pitched squeals, and then each would cut off suddenly. The ones left were still digging, but kept hitting rocks. They'd pull them out and try to keep going, but it wasn't going to work. Not in time.

Then the field dropped.

Pollock

I'd gone back up the hill, and flipped the switch on my field generator. By then I could only see two thrashing around in the enclosure. Everyone swiveled their heads towards me when the field dropped. The locals looked angry, but they'd looked that way this entire trip. Who could blame them? If I lived in these cursed woods I'd be angry, too.

I chose to ignore them and focus on the two creatures, to see what happened with the field down. Whether whatever was happening would stop, if they'd try to make a break for it. We'd have to find them again, or more accurately the others would. I was determined to get the hell out of here. But it's just two of them. Surely these yokels could handle that?

As it turned out, it didn't matter. The two creatures had already begun seizing up, and couldn't take advantage of the field being down even if they wanted to. One of them did reach its feet, but immediately dropped onto its back. It didn't rise again.

There was no sound in the aftermath of all that. I sighed and jumped back off the bluff to approach the enclosure. I noticed several tendrils of smoke rising from the bodies.

"Did your trap kill them?" the sullen girl asked. She and the other two had come over as well.

"Do you actually care? Your problem's handled either way." She didn't react to that, which was slightly annoying. "No, the field shouldn't have produced that result. It's the same as the one the Predator Drone used against you and the panda. The only way it would kill them is if it pushed them to kill themselves."

"The way they were acting, I don't think that's it. Did you notice the smoke?" I nodded at the panda as I pulled the ceramic armor off one of the bodies. I felt through all that strong, fine hair on the neck and back, until I felt a plastic bump with a hint of warmth. I pulled it loose and turned it over in my hand, examining it, the panda's furry skull right next to mine.

"Some kind of transmitter?"

"Yes. Probably can double as a kill-switch." We checked a few more bodies, finding a similar transmitter on each. Each one was burned out now, but it appeared they'd completed their purpose in the process. "Might lend credence to Calvin's theory these creatures were built for this. At the least, they were working under someone's command who didn't want them talking."

The bear and raccoon that led that gang came rolling in at that point. Literally, they rolled themselves down the rocky slopes to where we stood. Seemed painful to me, but it's not my body. Calvin asked if they knew what had happened with the two we took prisoner yesterday.

The bear nodded. "Had the same thought. I already sent Claude back to check with the boys who are watching them."

"Assuming they didn't kill your "boys" and escape, they're almost certainly dead themselves. I'd like the transmitters. I might be able to trace a manufacturer."

"My family will be here soon. I'm going to take a few of the Amilgars along with me," said the panda.

"Could I have a few of the transmitters," called down that raccoon engineer. "Maybe I can still use parts of them for something?"

What is this, a swap meet now? "I doubt you'll get any use, but there are plenty to pick over." I gestured to the two dozen plus corpses. "Help yourself."

I rose, feeling tired, and turned to the idiots I came her with. "Are we done? Can we leave?"

Calvin looked at the panda. "I assume CAP wants to wait for his family, and he still needs to know if Cass is coming to Blogsgiving."

"That's why you came?" So their stupidity amazes even the surly girl. Something we have in common.

The panda responded. "I never got a reply to the invite, and you always reply back. I figured something must be wrong. That's why we came to check." Pause. "But yes, I was wondering if you were going to come to the party."

Surly girl could hardly process the direction the conversation had gone. I knew the feeling. "Yes, I guess I was planning to attend."

"Great! And I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner."

"You know, you can call for help if you need it." Calvin said. "We'll show up."

She only nodded, although I thought she might have looked embarrassed. Hard to tell with that hood up all the time. Does she staple it to her head?

The panda laughed. "That applies to you too, you know."

"I call for help all the time! I called you after the first time I met Cass! And for helping me with the birders. Which you did a crappy job of by the way."

"Can we get on with this? It's a long haul back to your car." These two can banter for hours. They stopped and Calvin looked at the Amilgar at my feet.

"Not until you find a tarp. That fellow is not decomposing in the back of my ride on the way home otherwise."

One of the locals wandered up. "I got a tarp. It'll cost ya. 600 bucks."

Of course.

Calvin

The pandas arrived a couple of hours later. By then, Claude had returned with to report that yes, the other two Amilgars had died. We'd also had time to backtrack the route Cass and I took to reach the trap to check for the ones that had accidents trying to stop us. They hadn't survived either, although at least had probably died crashing into a rock.

Seeing the reactions from Cass' people to a whole squad of pandas was worth the price of admission. Even though we had a talking, fighting panda standing right here, they didn't seem to expect there were really more of them. The pandas agreed to loan Pollock a tarp, so at least she stopped griping about the people here "extorting" her. She had to promise to clean and return it to CAP at Blogsgiving.

The Panda Squad loaded up several of the Amilgar, and prepared to return home. I heard a few of them grumbling that they ended up being dragged all the way out here on what turned out to be garbage detail. According to CAP, they'd been grumbling about having to deal with captives. Just no pleasing some people.

All that dealt with, we trekked back to my ride, which had not been broken into, struck by lightning, or carried away by sudden floodwaters.

"Why am I helping drag a corpse for you?" I muttered to Pollock.

"The panda has been carrying your dead weight for years. It's about time you took a turn." CAP snickered from their position ahead of us. I had walked into that one.

"You two looking forward to walking home?" I raised the rear hatch and maneuvered the body in. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you explain hauling this into the trunk of your car when we get back to my apartment."

CAP turned to Cass, who had walked all the way with us. I couldn't help noticing she had a backpack of her own with her. "When we learn something, I'll contact you immediately. But I'm not sure how long that will take."

Her gaze was steady as she replied, "I'm coming along."

I sighed. "You waited until the absolute last second to ask, I notice. You and my dad trading tips on how to be really irritating?"

They all ignored me as CAP tried to explain, "Cassanee, it's a long way to my home-"

"I'm following her," she gestured at Pollock. Well, this got worse, and Pollock reacted how you'd expect.

"You think I'm going to have you scowling over my shoulder the whole time I try to solve this?"

"You helped, but you might have caused this, too. I'm staying close until I'm sure."

"How would you even know if I tried to hide information?"

"Don't have to. The pandas will figure it out, and they just promised to contact me when they do. This way you can't vanish if it turns out you are guilty."

CAP looked distinctly uneasy with all this. "Cassanee, don't they need you to help rebuild your home?"

"They're working out a trade deal with the raccoons." She glanced at me. "And I'm not much of a builder, either. Plus, everyone else wants to know whether she's guilty or not, too."

Pollock appealed to CAP and I. "You two aren't going along with this?"

Figuring there was a good chance of a fight no matter what, I opted for the approach that would annoy Pollock. "She can get a ride in my car as long as she follows the rules. If she plans to ride with you from there, that's between the two of you." I thought for a moment. "But you know if you ditch her she's just going to come crashing through your skylight before too long."

"I don't even have a skylight," I heard Pollock mutter as I turned to Cass.

"Rule 1: Wear your seatbelt. Rule 2: Driver controls music. Rules 3: My car, I drive. Rule 4: You throw up, I throw you out without slowing down. Rule 5: If you try to kill someone, do it in a manner that doesn't cause a mess or break anything. Do you understand and agree to these rules?"

"Sure." She seemed amused.

Pollock, on the other hand, was outraged. "You're letting her try to kill me now? What happened to my presumption of innocence?"

"If she can do it without causing a mess. The same rules apply to you, ya know. So you can try to kill her, too." That didn't cheer Pollock up as much as I thought it would.

It also didn't put CAP any more at ease. "Calvin, we can't have them trying to kill each other!"

"It would hardly be the first time, and I'm certainly not going to be able to stop them. If you think you can ride herd, go for it."

As I headed for the driver's seat, I heard CAP address the other two in their best drill sergeant tone. "Pollock, you ride in the same place as on the way down. Cassanee, you ride shotgun. I'll ride next to Pollock. Anyone starts fighting, I'll Bonk them." The stern attitude faded. "I wanted this to be a happy drive back."

We all climbed in and I started the engine. So it hadn't been stolen by mischievous woods nymphs. That's good. "Think of this as a dress rehearsal for Blogsgiving. Just without delicious food or television."