"Well, we aren't likely to be questioning him," Pollock said as she rose unsteadily. "How is it I get knocked out more when I work with you two than when I fight you?"
"We go easy on you," Clever Adolescent Panda replied instantly.
"Totally," Calvin agreed. "Also, I would like to be somewhere else before local law enforcement is called to investigate the collapsed building and corpses therein."
"Agreed," Pollock said. "Hopefully we can get the gnome in stable condition and get some answers. I suspect the computers we appropriated will take some time."
"No worries, then," Deadpool called cheerfully, ""dead" is a very stable condition."
"Wade!" the panda shouted.
Cassanee surprisingly came to the mercenary's defense. "He was already dying before Deadpool stabbed him." Or perhaps she was just stating facts.
Deadpool didn't seem bothered by the outrage. "Look my fuzzy buckaroo, these guys are playing a different game from what you usually get from your saucy CEO archfoe." Pollock mouthed "saucy?" with a bewildered expression as Deadpool gestured at her.
CAP was not impressed by Deadpool's argument. "I've faced things that tried to kill me before, Wade. Pollock summoned a demon once, remember? It beat the snot out of you."
"I certainly don't remember that," Deadpool replied defensively. "And that's not my point. She's not so gung-ho about killing you she'll kill herself or her goons in the process."
"They're valued employees, not goons, thank you," Pollock stated huffily.
"Right, breathing punching bags." The mercenary kept his gaze locked on the panda. "Point being, it doesn't look like these guys quit as long as they can keep going. You gotta stay on your toes."
"I get it, Wade. I can handle it."
"Sure ya can, kid!" Wade said brightly, "just like the rest of the merry band. Except maybe Calvin. Right, guys?" He turned to see only Pollock standing there. "Where'd everyone else go?"
"I believe they all wandered off a few minutes ago," Pollock explained. "Calvin said something about checking on his ride."
"During my important, mentor-like speech?!" Deadpool was aghast.
Rhodez was crouched at the edge of the brand-new hole in the ground, searching for any signs of movement through the still-settling dust and rubble.
Cassanee stood calmly next to her, arms folded across her chest while the wind rustled her cloak around her legs. "Anything?" Her voice carried more tension than usual, as she wondered if the man with electricity powers was down there somewhere, waiting for an opening.
Rhodez shook her head. "Remember how the basement was underwater? Looks like whatever they did dropped the whole building deeper than that. I haven't seen anyone yet."
Cassanee pointed at something to the left, bobbing gently. "Looks like an arm."
Rhodez squinted slightly for a moment, then suppressed a gag. "Yeah, that's all it is, though." She paused, and focused on it again. "But it's drifting away."
"So the water is flowing to somewhere?"
"Yup. Don't know where, though. Maybe the hallways run a little farther out under the property, and that's all."
"Can we find out?"
Rhodez thought about. "If we had some dye, we could add it and see if it surfaces somewhere else."
"I have plenty of red dye! Just let me open an artery!" Deadpool called out as he walked up with CAP and Pollock.
"Deadpool, introducing your blood into an aqueduct would probably be considered biological warfare," Pollock stated calmly.
"Hey! The only side effects of my blood is awesomeness! And possibly an elevated blood alcohol level!"
"You've been drunk this whole time?!" Rhodez was incredulous.
"It's not enough to get me drunk, but normal people, yeah, they might get buzzed. And buzzed driving is fun driving!"
Ignoring all this, Clever Adolescent Panda reached into their satchel and produced a small device with a single, steadily flashing light. "This is a tracking device. If we can put it in something that'll float, it'll work."
"What did you bring a tracking device for?" Pollock asked as she shuffled through her collection of oversized cartridges.
The panda looked surprised at the question. "Um, to attach to a suspicious person if they got away, of course!"
"It was to use if Calvin got separated from you again, wasn't it?" Cassanee countered.
CAP glanced at the ground, embarrassed. "He's always vanishing!"
"Yes, like right now, for instance," Pollock observed as she handed a now empty cartridge to the panda, a mess of confetti on the ground next to her.
CAP's head shot up and their head swiveled from one direction to another. "What?! Where is he?"
"You know, for the tracker to be of any use, you need to put it on him before he disappears."
"Shu-shut up! Why did you have a cartridge filled with confetti, anyway?"
Now Pollock got defensive. "It's not confetti, it's chaff! To confuse any radar-guided weapons!"
"Oh, yeah, sure it is!" CAP said sarcastically. "You can't confuse a missile with that small amount of chaff! And why would it be all different colors, and made of paper?!"
"Let's all calm down," Deadpool said as he stepped between them. "Calvin will show up when he gets hungry."
"We don't have any food with us," Cassanee stated flatly.
"We don't? No one brought celebratory tacos and wieners? What the fuck, you guys?! Where was I? Second, there's nothing wrong with having confetti handy, since it livens up any situation. Watch!"
Deadpool bent down, grabbed the confetti in one hand, and hurled it into the air. In the still summer air, it fell back down to them quickly. Everyone watched it flutter to the ground, then turned to the mercenary, who seemed to be waiting for something.
After a moment, he scratched his scalp. "Well, it would have worked if we had tacos, I'll bet."
"Are we gonna throw that tracking device in?" Rhodez asked. "I don't do well in the heat."
"Sure," CAP chirped, before realizing it was missing. "Where did it go?"
"How in the hell did you lose something you were holding in your hand?! Do pandas develop senile dementia in adolescence?" Pollock asked sardonically.
"I threw it in already," Cassanee explained, gesturing towards the hole. "You were all wasting time."
"Oh. Well, good. Now we just need to find Calvin."
"What are you dinguses doing over here?" Calvin leaned out the window of his SUV as he rolled to a stop a short distance away.
"Where were you?" Clever Adolescent Panda asked.
"Checking to make sure no one was coming to see what happened. Also loading those computers you grabbed in the back." He jerked his thumb towards the rear of the vehicle. "What did you think I was doing?"
"I assumed you fell into the hole," Pollock responded.
"I was worried you were captured or hurt," CAP explained.
"I figured you were going to the bathroom," Rhodez chipped in.
"That you saw something important and went to investigate alone," Cassanee said from the back seats. She'd wasted no time getting in the car.
"You guys are doing this wrong!" Deadpool huffed. "You're supposed to say something outlandish! I thought you were having a pleasant conversation with a total stranger!"
"Now that's going too far," Calvin said flatly. "Will you guys get in already?"
"Yeah Deadpool, Calvin would never do that," Rhodez laughed as she headed for the van.
"Don't backsass me, Padawan! Don't think I've forgotten you not sticking around for my important words of wisdom to the source of cuteness on this blog!" He produced a swagger stick from somewhere and swatted her on the head.
"What the hell, Wade?!"
"Physical abuse is an X-Men approved teaching method! I got certified in it and everything! Or was that some weird anime girl dating game I played on my phone?"
"Maybe we should let Rhodez ride with us," CAP said as they hesitated to climb into the shotgun seat.
"You are more than willing to give her your seat, but we are not putting three people back here," Pollock stated firmly.
"Yeah, that's not happening," Calvin added. "No way can Rhodez keep Pollock and Cass from destroying my ride if they start fighting. She's on her own." Calvin accelerated out of the empty parking lot back onto the two-lane highway. Deadpool and Rhodez followed in the van moments later
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