Pick One to Flush

There was this poll I saw on Twitter last week, about if you had to pick one actor to delete from history out of Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe, and Tom Cruise, which would it be.

My gut, immediate reaction was Cruise. Because I'm going to base the decision off the movies for each actor I've actually seen, and that's a pretty small list for him. (If I haven't bothered to watch the movie the whole way through, or can't remember doing so, then it's no skin off my nose if erasing the actor erases the movie, right?) The roles he takes just aren't ones I'm terribly interested in.

But I figured I ought to at least check the math, just to be sure. So, with that said, going off IMdb:

Cruise: 43 actor credits in movies, not counting things he's confirmed for that haven't come out yet. Of those, I've watched (or can remember watching) 6 in their entirety. The Mummy (thanks Alex), Tropic Thunder, War of the Worlds, Mission: Impossible II (thanks Alex), Jerry Maguire, A Few Good Men. I'm sure I've seen pieces of Rain Man and Top Gun, but can't be sure I ever bothered to sit through them the whole way.

Of the 6, Tropic Thunder is the only one I'd say I really love, to the extent where I can watch it most any time. It isn't a "Tom Cruise movie", but he's definitely a piece of it I enjoy.

Crowe: 46 actor credits in movies that actually came out, 10 that I've watched entirely. Crowe has a bit of an unfair advantage, as he tends to star in more movies my dad would enjoy, so I end up seeing them that way. The Mummy (thanks again, Alex), The Nice Guys, The Water Diviner (thanks Dad), The Man with the Iron Fists (took a minute to remember Crowe was in this), Robin Hood (thanks Dad), 3:10 to Yuma, Master and Commander (thanks Dad), L.A. Confidential, Virtuosity, The Quick and the Dead.

Of the 10, I can watch any of the last three whenever (Alex and I watched Virtuosity a lot back in the day, but I was fully on board with that), and maybe The Water Diviner. So 3 or 4. Crowe is probably essential to my enjoyment of all of those except maybe Quick and the Dead. I like him in that, but again, he's not holding the film entirely on his shoulders. Point being, Crowe is the safest of the four, not what I would have expected. But he makes more movies in the general range I like, and I ignore the rest.

Pitt: 58 actor credits in movies (lots of video shorts and TV series credits for Pitt), 8 I've watched entirely. Deadpool 2, Fury, MegaMind, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Snatch, Fight Club, Se7en, 12 Monkeys.

Look, I never claimed I made good decisions about which movies to watch, only that other people I know make worse decisions.

I really like Deadpool 2, but you can't give Pitt credit for that. I remember Pitt's character in Snatch, but the plot tends to blur with Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. I'm watching Guy Ritchie movies for Jason Statham and the banter, anyway. He definitely gets credit on Se7en, and I remember liking 12 Monkeys, but it's been awhile since I watched it. Not one I normally hunt down to rewatch.

Bale: 48 actor credits in movies, of which I've seen 6, I think? Dark Knight, 3:10 to Yuma, Batman Begins, Equilibrium, Shaft, and either Treasure Island (thanks Rhodez) or Terminator Salvation. I've definitely seen one of those last two all the way through.

I can't remember anything from Sam Jackson's Shaft movie other than that bit where he announces his resignation from the cops by throwing his shield at the judge. I like, but don't love Nolan's Batman movies, have never bothered to do more than catches pieces of the third one, and Bale's "scary Batman voice" is more ridiculous than anything else. Which really just leaves Equilibrium, which I like, but not on par with Tropic Thunder.

Which I guess means we're throwing Christian Bale down the old memory hole. Did not expect that outcome.