Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Someone Get Wade "Diplomacy for Idiots"

This is certainly not going to happen now, after Deadpool threw a tremendous fit about perceiving himself as being unwelcome on Krakoa, then doing everything possible to make himself unwelcome, but I want a defensive alliance treaty between Krakoa and Monster Island.

Nothing too complicated, just the standard "I'll help you if someone attacks, you do the same for me." From the little I know about what Hickman's doing, there's been at least one group, if not several, trying to infiltrate Krakoa. An evil Yellowjacket shrank down and hid inside Pyro. Some other guy is sewing mutant skin on himself to read as mutant to the gates, or something. When those things don't work, you know the governments of the world are going to get more scared and overt in their attempts to assert control at some point.

(I almost said more extreme, but when you're stealing skin and hiding tiny people inside other people, you're already getting pretty extreme.)

Wade went to Monster/Staten Island in the first place because he was hired to kill the king of the monsters. So clearly there's hostility there, which isn't going to go away as long as the new residents exist. Especially when one of the inhabitants made their way to the city and killed a couple of people. Deadpool tried to stop him, then killed him when he didn't stop, but you know everyone is going to ignore that. Wade isn't exactly great at not pissing people off, so that's be its own set of problems.

Point being, it's two countries hated and feared by the world at large. Why not be allies? It's like those times when Namor forms alliances with Doom or the Black Panther. It's not as though the other countries of the world are going to be more hostile.

You could argue Deadpool is a terrible person to be publicly allied with, given his tendency to make horrible decisions. This is true! Deadpool frequently either does the wrong thing, or do the right thing in the worst way possible. If Krakoa is allied with Monster Island, and a bunch of demons attack his subjects, so Deadpool kills them, and the demons just happen to take the forms of a bus full of orphans, that's an optics problem.

But 1) Krakoa's only on the hook if someone else starts trouble with Monster Island first, and 2) there are plenty of lunatics on Krakoa who are going to cause some catastrophe eventually. Wolverine, Sabretooth, this new young Cable, Magneto, Mr. Sinister, Mystique, X-23. I could keep going for hours. OK, another two minutes, but they're going to do something, if they haven't already. Krakoa insists they will judge and prosecute any of their subjects who break laws, but I can't imagine that's gonna satisfy everyone the next time Logan figures he has to kill fifty guys because of "honor", or whatever his excuse is this time.

Even if nobody on either island does something, the rest of the world will find an excuse. Look at what they did to Cable when he founded Providence. He allowed basically anyone to move there, as long as they agreed to be nonviolent, offered clean renewable energy sources, and encouraged democracy in countries that asked for assistance. The rest of the world tried to burn his island to the ground. Even if Krakoa and Monster Island export free cancer cures and hugs, they're still on a bullseye. Might as well have one friend.

Oh well, this is why you don't let Deadpool visit other countries unattended.

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