Thursday, March 15, 2007

I'll Bonk You On The Head...

If you don't respect what ABP said. OK, technically, ABP hasn't said anything to you yet, but I'm just laying the ground rules early. Not that there will be much to respect today, ABP doesn't have much to work with, but we'll make do.

Applause, Hug - Heather. I think a hug is the least she needs after being taken hostage by Hobgoblin, and she was nice enough to dress up as Spider-Girl to help her boyfriend's comic premiere, and that kind of commitment to a relationship is highly respected by pandas. {I can't stress enough how cool I thought it was that she would do that for him. It really was a good of her.}

Bonk - Jimmy Yama. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, what were you thinking? Even if you didn't know that Spider-Girl was back in action, surely you were aware of her many arch-foes? Surely, it must have occurred to you that one of them might decide to crash an event celebrating the Wonderous Webslinger? {Should we just change the guy's last name to "Olsen"?}

Applause, Bonk - Black Tarantula. Awww, you sent some people to help Spider-Girl stop the Hobgoblin, how sweet. Oh, they used guns. Well, Spider-Girl doesn't really approve of shooting people, you know. And you were mostly trying to send Hobgoblin a message about who runs the criminal empire in this town? Hmmm. {Black Tarantula creeps me out almost as much as Gene Thompson. May needs to find some normal guys to hang out with.}

Hug - Peter Parker. Finally learned May donned the webs again, huh? Always the last to find out. And May turned the whole "with power comes responsibility" thing around on you as a reason for her to continue. Man, it's hell watching your kids grow up.

Well, ABP didn't get to hug many people this week, but you can help with that, can't you?

6 comments:

SallyP said...

Oh another bonk to Tony Stark. Just on principal.

Marc Burkhardt said...

A hug for Cassie Cain, who's apparently back in her right mind and ...um, ready to kill Deathstroke.

OK, maybe a hug is a bit much. Gotta give Robin credit though for coming up with his OWN hypo. Hypos are the new Superboy punch!!

Anonymous said...

I thought cloned Norse gods were the new Superboy punch? I'm soooo last Wednesday!

Jason said...

Maybe all Tony needs is a hug? Nah, he'd probably chuck the abp in the negative zone for that.

Bonk away my little monochromatic friend, bonk away.

CalvinPitt said...

sallyp: ABP still believes in Iron man, but will deal out on bonk to remind Stark not to step out of line.

fortress: I suppose "right mind" is a relative term these days. But ABP thinks a hug might be just the thing to reduce those homicidal urges.

matthew: Cloned Norse Gods are marvel's Superboy punch! Slade's hypos have taken that title at DC.

jason: No one on marvel Earth is prepared for the war they'd face if they threw an Adorable Baby panda in the Negative Zone.

Jason said...

Next summer's crossover: World War Adorable Baby Panda!