It's That Time Of The Year Again

Adorable Baby Panda: To practice kindness and goodwill towards your fellow man?

Deadpool: To steal the beards off Mall Santas?

CalvinPitt: Not quite.

ABP: To open presents, and play in the snow?

Deadpool: To rummage through people's garbage for uneaten fruitcake, and stab rival mercs with icicles?

Calvin: Uh, no. It's time to celebrate the start of another year here at Reporting on Marvels and Legends! Welcome to Year 4!

Deadpool: Wow, how anticlimatic! That was the biggest dud since the Wasp turned to Kirby dots and vanished in a tornado!

Calvin: That was only two weeks ago.

Deadpool: And this was the biggest dud in those two weeks! There aren't even any snacks! I'm outta here.

ABP: Yeah, that was a real letdown. I'm going home.

Calvin: Hey, don't forget to bonk the Arizona Cardinals on the way home! Well, guess it's just me, oh and you, the audience. So, Year 3. Lot less posting (I went from 338 posts to 305), not really by choice, just circumstance conspiring. Also noticed a marked downturn in analysis style posts. Not sure why that happened. On the positive side, we had more Deadpool in the spring and fall, plus a trip to another dimension and to Apokolips. Oh, and we can't forget the Flying Castle Incident. After all, where else would you find a gun that fires raccoons in authentic British police outfits, with Cockney accents? Well, I thought those were positive things.

UnCalvinPitt: Aren't you forgetting to credit a very important person in all this?

Calvin: Yes, I suppose we couldn't have had the Flying Castle Incident without. . . Clint Barton. Sure wish he wasn't still running around as a ninja these days.

UnCalvin: What about the person who sacrificed their flying castle for that incident, meaning me?

Calvin: Hey, you show up late, you don't get any thanks. You can however, have some punch and pie. The others just wouldn't wait until I could get the pie out of the oven. Now where have you been?

UnCalvin: Plotting your downfall.

Calvin: Again? Well, can you at least wait until next month? I'll be back where I was in September and October. There'll be more space for us to settle things.

UnCalvin: I suppose. This is excellent pie.

Calvin: Thanks. It's based on a Hostess Fruit Pie. Tender, flaky crust, real fruit filling, all that jazz.

UnCalvin: So this was a trick!

Calvin: Huh?

UnCalvin: You thought I would eat this and then I would abandon all my machinations, didn't you? I can not believe this, that you would extend a hand of friendship, only to attempt such base trickery! Now, your suffering shall increase one thousandfold! *strides out, cape billowing impressively*

Calvin: Oh come on, I don't even outline my posts ahead of time, you really think I could craft a scheme like that?! Aw, don't increase my suffering a thousandfold, that'll be really painful! Wait, at least tell me where you bought that cape, it's really cool!

UnCalvin: *pauses, turns* Why thank you. It was specifically tailored for me. I'm glad you noticed it, no one else has said anything. I was starting to fear it wasn't as effective as I envisioned.

Calvin: Maybe you could attach a small fan to your belt, where it meets your back. That way, you'd always have a breeze to make it flap and move. That'll make it look more impressive, give you an aura of power. The "large cape enveloping your entire body" look only really works for Batman.

UnCalvin: Seems impractical, though I suppose it would work as long as I'm simply standing there. So the pie truly wasn't a trick?

Calvin: No trick. It's pie, it's inherent goodness and warmth would defy any attempts to use it for skullduggery.

UnCalvin: Then I shall not increase the suffering you will experience after all. You will still suffer at my hands, but it will only be the amount I was planning to inflict prior to today. May I take some pie with me?

Calvin: Sure, enjoy. I need to cut back anyway. But first, say something nice to the audience to ring in the start of Year 4.

UnCalvin: Very well. To you, the peons in the audience, I hope you will continue to enjoy Calvin's capering, until such time as I destroy him and assume control of this blog. At which point we will discuss various financial issues. Good day to you all.

Calvin: Isn't UnCalvin a pip, folks? Talk to you tomorrow!