There Are Times My Games Shouldn't Test Me

I've owned enough versions of Madden to know there are times the game is going to win. Not in the sense that I play teams that are so much better, triumph is unlikely. More the game seems absolutely determined to make me lose. Usually, I have a seemingly comfortable lead when the computer begins completing long passes where their wide receiver outruns everybody on my defense, followed by my team fumbling or throwing improbable interceptions to give the computer the ball back. They respond to that gift by throwing more long touchdowns where my players forget how to tackle, or let possible interceptions bounce off their hands.

Sunday was a bit different. The game seemed to have made its decision to beat me from the start, rather than waiting until the end. My first pass was intercepted and returned for a TD. Another pass was intercepted later (I'd thrown 1 INT the previous 5 games), then that QB left with a broken jaw, followed shortly by my starting tight end. My backup QB also had a pass intercepted and returned for a TD, and my kick returner lost a fumble. All told, I was fortunate to be losing by 10 with 5 minutes left, and I engineered two touchdown drives in the next 4 minutes to take the lead. I was surprised, but happy. Then the computer decided on the last play that its receiver would catch a pass between two of my defensive backs, they'd both whiff on the tackle, and said receiver would run untouched into the end zone, handing me the loss.

Normally, I'm annoyed by this, but able to shrug it off and beat the next team. It doesn't happen terribly often, after all. Sunday, however, I was playing to relieve frustration with the real Arizona Cardinals blowing a game against the Vikings that afternoon. I was playing as Arizona, and in a strange coincidence (since this was Madden '05), the team the game decided absolutely had to beat me was. . . the Minnesota Vikings.

As the game would attest (if it could talk) I didn't respond well to that turn of events. There are times when I can appreciate the sense of humor displayed by the universe, but this wasn't one of those times. Next time, I'm probably better off playing a shooter to relieve stress (I tried taking a walk, it didn't help).

Those attempts at elastic A.I. or whatever it is are one of the most frustrating things about sports (and especially) racing games for me. Burnout 3 used to drive me nuts that way. The game would tell me I had a 20-second lead, five seconds later I'm being told "They're right behind me!" How they'd catch up when I didn't let off the gas was a mystery, and it was maddening that there was no level of perfect driving I could achieve that would ensure easy victory. The game was always going to get some opponent close enough to challenge. If I were being generous, I could say the game was playing it so that until I took a huge lead, the computer opponents didn't take me seriously. Considering their ability to destroy my leads seemed to violate even the questionable physical laws governing the Burnout games (and the fact drivers were given no personality or identity), I'm not feeling generous.