Friday, September 02, 2016

Upon Further Reflection

I mentioned on Wednesday that I'm not real interested in the new Thanos series that Marvel solicited, but I could be convinced otherwise. The solicit mentioned he'd have to contend with his murderous family, I'd be curious to see Thanos dealing with family issues in a stereotypical sitcom setting.

Nebula: Dad, this is my boyfriend, Genis.

Genis: *slightly spaced out, wearing long sleeves in unusually warm weather* Nice, nice to meet you sir. Shame about that blood you'll get on your clothes when you raid that temple next week.

Thanos: Huh, I knew a guy with a kid named Genis. Guy died of cancer some years ago. It's potentially acceptable to  meet you, if you can prove useful. It's awfully warm for long sleeves, though.

Nebula: Oh, um, he has some tattoos.

Genis: *not paying much attention* Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Thanos: Psh, I don't care about that. What, you have a skull and crossbones, some Skrull characters? As long as you know what they mean, I don't care. I wiped out multiple civilizations. Let's see them.

Genis: *rolls up sleeves, reveals Nega Bands* Huh, there's an insurrection breaking out 5 start systems over.

Thanos: You're Mar-Vell's kid? *turns on Nebula* Such treachery, I should be proud, but you have overplayed your hand. You should have waited until you got my car keys!

Nebula: Hala, Dad, it's not like that! I just like Genis! He's so deep, and he knows where all the best atrocities are happening!

Thanos: Do you know how many times his dad thwarted my plans?

Nebula: You just have to make everything about yourself!

Thanos: I had the Infinity Gauntlet once! I was everything!

Nebula: Mom, talk to him! Make him stop ruining my life!

*Death floats there, silently*

Nebula: See, Mom agrees with me!

Thanos: No she doesn't. My love, you understand why she can't date the son of Mar-Vell, don't you?

*Death turns and floats out of the room without a word*

Thanos: Well that's just like you isn't it? You never want to discuss our problems! This is like the counselor all over again!

Nebula: Stop yelling at Mom! *shoots Thanos with laser pistol, accomplishing very little, runs upstairs*

You could swap Phylla in for Genis if you want. I preferred Phylla myself, but I know Genis really struggled with the whole Cosmic Awareness thing, so I thought he'd work well. I know I'm missing that son of Thanos' that was on Earth, but he didn't fit this particular story. You can throw him in there. Starfox is literally the creepy uncle, Mentor is the cranky old man telling everyone what it was like in his day, and how Thanos isn't raising his kids right (ignoring the part where Mentor raised Thanos, so he's clearly an even worse dad than Magneto and Reed Richards). I don't even know what would qualify as Death's in-laws (or her divorce attorney for that matter), but it'd be something to see.


SallyP said...

I would read your version with great joy.

CalvinPitt said...

Thank you, Sally.