Thursday, March 30, 2017

X-Men Movie That Feels Like '90s X-Men Comic Oof

Thanks to the combination of my going to visit Alex, and his not waking up when he said he would, I got to see X-Men: Apocalypse. I'll get Alex back for that someday, though I'll also accept cash.

I didn't see the entire movie. He did finally get up and we left to run around town a bit right about the time Xavier's big play telepathic attack on Apocalypse was getting squashed resoundingly. Nice hustle there Chuck. Glad to see you've worked on honing your skills over the years. McAvoy Charles Xavier is the laziest motherfucker ever, not to mention a creep for telepathically spying on a lady, especially since he'd mindwiped her in the past. Every time he runs up against another telepath or something, unless he's got some help in the physical realm, he gets his butt handed to him. Emma Frost was more than a match for him when it was just the two of them matching their skills, and now Apoclaypse smoked him.

Of all the X-Men movies, it's the one that most felt like what I would think of when you say "X-Men comic", for good or ill. Some of the costume styles, the Mansion getting destroyed, and the X-Men in this case being a ragtag collection of whatever mutants happened to be available at the moment. Plus the presence of Apocalypse. Not that Apocalypse had much presence. I'm not sure if it was the actor or the film gave him nothing to work with, but he was much too softspoken. Leave rubbing your hands and speaking in a breathy, creepy whisper for Mr. Sinister. Apocalypse needs to be LOUD, like Thor, talking shit and pronouncing doom, but no. I guess the idea was he was trying to convince his Horsemen he was a kindly, benevolent ruler, but at a certain point when he's vowing to destroy the world, that facade kind of falls away, yes? Dispense with the bullshit.

Magneto retiring to life as a family man was kind of touching, even once you realize they've introduced his family just to kill them. But the part where he tries to surrender himself rang true, but I was a fan of his turn at being a good guy in the '80s, trying to resist the urge to handle things the way he did in the past.

I did like how the film presented Quicksilver's super-speed, although the way it was kind of presented as a joke, oh he made sure to grab all the pizza in the middle of the explosion, felt at odds with the rest of the film, which is making such a big deal about the world being in imminent danger.

When the kids are leaving the theater and discussing the original Star wars films, and Jean ends with everyone knows the third one is the worst, I assume that was a jab at X-Men: The Last Stand? I've still never watched it, but recall Len telling me it was a good X-Force movie, but not much of an X-Men movie. But X-Men: Apocalypse is also the third film in this reboot, flashback, whatever run. First Class, Days of Future Past, Apocalypse. So was the film making fun of itself?

The Wolverine cameo was unnecessary, and that was one of my problems with the film, was it felt as though they were trying to cram in too many things. They have to do Apocalypse, and explain all this stuff about his body-swapping and power absorbing. Add in Magneto and his family drama, plus collecting the Horsemen, which involves introducing them at least a little. Have to introduce Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler, Pietro. Here's a whole thing where the school blows up, which felt unnecessary, and now the government is getting involved.

I think the idea was that the governments of the world aren't sending out giant purple robots to kill mutants, but that doesn't mean they aren't waiting to see if they need to do that, and things are still pretty lousy for mutants in general. Having a small handful of mutants casually remove the worlds' entire nuclear arsenal and being to destabilize the planet itself will probably produce a response that will not be good for the vast majority of entirely innocent mutants. But perhaps have that running as an undercurrent, rather than derailing the story for a visit to Colonel Stryker's Weapon X Laboratory and Fun-Time Interrogation Palace, just so Hugh Jackman can pop up for five minutes.

3 comments:

Kelvin Green said...

I was a bit baffled by Apocalypse's plan. Seize all the nukes, then throw them into space and then... what? Isn't getting rid of all the nuclear weapons a good thing? It seemed more of a "they will hate me for this now but come to realise the good I have done" plan but that wasn't how it was played.

The revelation of Quicksilver's identity -- it's quite near the end so you'd have stopped watching by that point -- was weak too. Instead of telling Magneto that he has a son and so something to live for, there's some guff about how the X-Men are his family; they had a legitimate moment of potential character drama in there and threw it aside in favour of a Hallmark moment. Bleh.

I saw this film late on a Sunday night when I was stuck in London and there was nothing else to do. I wish I'd stayed in the hotel room.

SallyP said...

I haven't seen any of the prequel... nor to I plan to.

CalvinPitt said...

Kelvin: I think he's more concerned with showing how powerful he is, and how irrelevant all the so-called powers of the world are. Reduce resistance through terror or a show of overwhelming force (if I recall, this was the idea behind the Death Star, a weapon so overwhelming people would just give up at the sight of it).

Of course, he's also planning to transfer his mind into Xavier's body, at which point he'll be able to control everyone in the world, so quite why he needs to take that step I don't know. Unless he just wanted to make certain nobody tried destroying the world as a last ditch "Fuck you".

sallyp: You aren't missing much, unless you want to see an somewhat awkward and shy Nightcrawler or, um, Jubilee? Little strange she's older than Cyclops in this movie.