Random Back Issues #124 - Guardians of the Galaxy #15

Pity we never got a proper team-up.

We're smack in the middle of War of Kings, aka the War of Stupid Assholes, and so are the Guardians. The team tried splitting up and approaching the respective rulers, Black Bolt and Vulcan, separately about ending the war before they tore apart space-time.

Vulcan's a psychopath, so that was a no-go. Worse, the Imperial Guard has a mage who tagged Adam Warlock with some sort of "witch-mark" that allows them to track him back to Knowhere. The Inhumans were no more receptive, and then Phyla-Vell took Crystal hostage when the Guardians left. And the Inhumans have a teleporting dog that allows them to follow.

Beseiged from both sides, Warlock and Cosmo's shields fall. Mantis and Star-Lord convinced Crystal the threat of universal destruction is real, but Black Bolt doesn't care. He grabs Crystal, and the Inhumans bounce like the useless jackasses they are. Which still leaves two-thirds of the Guardians hounded by the Imperial Guard.

The Guardians scatter - that is literally how Star-Lord describes his plan, "Scatter!" - unable to communicate because Oracle is somehow a stronger telepath than Cosmo, Mantis and Moondragon combined. Sounds like bullshit to me, but whatever. Star-Lord appeals to the ruling council on Knowhere, and the Luminals (essentially the Avengers of planet Xanth) for help, but is told to surrender for everyone else's benefit. Yeah, surrender to the tender mercies of people who serve Vulcan.

Mentor, the Brainiac-5 of the Imperial Guard, plans to take control of Knowhere and its ability to send forces anywhere to strike directly at the Inhumans, but the Guardians rally. Gamora and Phyla aren't down with "Scatter!" as a strategy and opt to hack their way through the Shi'ar. The mage and some other soldiers use the mark to track Warlock, but he's able to transfer it to her. When the soldiers use their enchanted weapons, they track the mark and kill her. Nifty, and all it took was Warlock's skin turning purple, which, combined with him rending the soldiers limb from limb certainly isn't concerning!

Mentor loses the Continuum Cortex when the remaining third of the Guardians - Rocket, Groot, Drax and Major Victory - 'port in. Rocket gets a little feral, clawing up Mentor's face while telling him they just reinstalled Lilandra on the throne. Even with Phyla, Gamora and Warlock joining the fray, Mentor has a good laugh as he runs with his oversized dome between his legs. Lilandra's just been assassinated (by a Raptor in Darkhawk's armor.) The bad news doesn't stop there, as Knowhere comes alive to warn Adam the fate of all existence depends on him. All existence is pretty fucked, then.

Oh, and the Starhawk the Guardians have had prisoner for several issues was able to manipulate the freshly-resurrected Moondragon into releasing her, and has vanished, taking Mantis, Cosmo, Star-Lord, Bug and Jack Flag along for the ride.

{5th longbox, 36th comic, Guardians of the Galaxy (vol. 2) #15, by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (writer), Brad Walker (penciler), Victor Olizaba and Livesay (inker), Jay David Ramos (colorist), Chris Eliopoulos (letterer)}