There's Always Hoops to Jump Through

Florida Man banned from all national parks after sharing methamphetamine with elk.

Robin's admitted she wants to live and keep sailing with the Straw Hats, so One Piece, volume 42, is the Straw Hats crossing the gap to breach the Tower of Law and get her back. Unfortunately, she's wearing seastone cuffs, which neutralize her Devil Fruit and are (somehow) hard as diamonds.

Each CP9 member has a key, so if the Straw Hats want to truly free her, they have to beat all of them to get the right key, and rescue Robin before Spandam (being escorted by Lucci) gets her through the Gates of Justice. As a thief, Nami ought to be able to pick the lock, but this lets Oda split the crew back up and throw them into 1-on-1 battles against CP9. That consumes the remainder of the volume (and the next 2), so how are they doing?

Not great! Nami gets a key away from Kumadori, who speaks in these bold, poetic (and moronic) statements, but he's too strong for her and she can't escape him. Chopper, who intervenes, can't seem to beat him, either, though he does temporarily trap him in the fridge in the Tower of Law's kitchen.

Zoro was holding his own against Kaku, despite Kaku having gained a Devil Fruit that lets him become a giraffe-man since their last encounter. But they end up in the same room as Sniper King (aka Usopp) and a wolf-man agent. In the middle of all that, Usopp manages to cuff himself to Zoro with a different set of seastone cuffs. Neither of their opponents has the key to that pair, so it's a lot of them running away or Zoro trying to wield Usopp like a sword until Chopper can maybe find the right key.

Sanji, meanwhile, runs up against Kalifa, the sole member of CP9 that's a woman. And Sanji, of course, won't hit a woman. So even though he's stronger than her, he's summarily tossed out of her room, reduced to some odd state where he looks like a partially-completed clay sculpture. Nami sees through his claim that he couldn't win, recognizing he didn't really try, and he responds he won't fight a woman, even if it kills him. Not to put too blunt a point on it, but who gives a fuck about his life? After all his big speeches about being the one to rescue his "Robin-chwan," he won't even fight for her.

At any rate, this leaves Nami fighting Kalifa for another key, in the hopes it'll be the one to Zoro and Usopp's cuffs. And while she eventually figures out Kalifa's new Devil Fruit, she's still too slow to actually do anything about it.

The one person having any success is Franky, who manages to defeat Fukorou, though it's a back and forth affair. Franky initially runs out of fuel (cola) and there are a few gags of Chopper throwing him the wrong drink because he's trying to open and shut the fridge door before Kumadori can escape. Once Franky's back to full strength, Fukorou starts relying on his greater speed and agility, plus his ability to "moonwalk", meaning walk on air. Franky, like he did in his fight against Nero on the Sea Train, has to find a way to counter that maneuverability.

Their battle destroys the fridge, freeing Kumadori. Chopper wins out over that dope, but in the process turns himself into a mindless, rampaging monster that can't distinguish friend from foe. So even when things go well, they go poorly. Case in point, Luffy (who was so focused on beating up Rob Lucci the rest of the crew left him to it) catches up to Spandam and Robin. While Luffy tries to get past Lucci, Spandam fucks up and triggers the Buster Call in his attempts to taunt Robin about how worthless she is. Now the Marines are going to level Ennies Lobby and everyone in it. Just as soon as the flotilla gets there, in say, 30 minutes or so.

Nothing like a ticking clock. . .