What I Bought 6/2/2025 - Part 3

My boss went on vacation middle of last week, through the end of this week. I have been tapped as interim boss, which has largely meant more data entry and dealing with e-mails and phone calls. If it wasn't on top of all the usual madness (or if I was better at delegating, assuming there was anyone available to delegate to) it wouldn't be too bad. As it is, it sucks. Somebody else can take this on the next time he goes on vacation. There's gotta be someone stupid enough to want to actually pursue a leadership role.

Metamorpho: The Element Man #6, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - For some people, the sun truly does smile upon them. May those people all burn in its unrelenting heat.

Metamorpho's on his way to the Sun! Solaris, the Rogue Sun, that is, who plans to unleash a storm to push humanity back to the Stone Age! If that means I never have to hear about crypto or "AI" ever again, it might just be worth it. But Rex doesn't agree, so he's going to fly into Solaris, convert his body to Staggium, a superdense element Stagg created that will cause a chain reaction in the core and blow Solaris up. Leaving the Solar System minus the "solar", but small potatoes.

The plan doesn't work, and Metamorpho is narrowly saved from disintegration by Prince Ra-Man's sun, who is willing to give a Rex another chance to win. Because Solaris cheated by fighting a Metamorpho 1 million years in his past. Cue a, flashback, a vision, something of how the fight would have gone in the 853rd Century, which Lieber draws in a parody style of some Golden Age hero I remember being on the cover of a book about bizarre Golden Age heroes.

Why you do that when drawing a fight set way in the future, I don't know. Also, Lieber is incredibly inconsistent about where Solaris is. Why do you need a spaceship if he's hanging out right above your building? Point is, Rex gets one more chance to challenge Solaris, with the power of DC 1 Million Metamorpho, but minus the knowledge of how to best use it. And he only gets the power long enough to change into something once. Rex figures it out, becomes a new Sun, absorbs Solaris, and that's that. Unless the readers write in demanding more Metamorpho!

Eh, I could take it or leave it. It was fun, but Ewing may have started a few too many threads. Which did have the effect of making this last issue feel really stuffed, as he and Lieber try to cover a lot of ground in 20 pages. It's hard for me to picture Solaris running a secret criminal organization, though. That felt out of left field in that sense, even if its inclusion fit nicely with all the "solar champion" stuff. 

The Surgeon #5, by John Pence (writer), Omar Zaldivar (artist), Hedwin Zaldivar and Trisha Mariscal (colorists), Taylor Esposito (letterer) - What, they haven't figured out how to rebuild umbrellas in your post-apocalypse?

Hanover wakes up a prisoner of Chief Long, who turns out not to be interested in her spiking opium, but in the fact that someone is actually producing new supplies of pre-apocalypse medicine. The Hot Animal Machines have a line on it, but they deal in children they abduct to get it. So Chief Long would as soon wipe them out. Hanover agrees to help, and also to treat the guy that came to the fort to warn them of the Hot Animal Machines a few issues ago.

Then she treats the guy (Little Bird), and the two of them bail on everyone else. Then he seduces her, or they fuck, whichever, and he steals her sword and her horse. The whole thing was proving himself as a warrior ("touch an enemy without killing them"). Which leaves her sans transportation, sans weapon, possibly sans pants (or she was in too much a hurry to futilely chase him.) And she ditched a lot of people.

Where that leaves the book with one issue to go, I have no idea. I guess she could go back to the fort, hat in hand (if she still has a hat.) The scientist guy seemed kind of pissed, but the blacksmith pointed out she fulfilled her end of the deal. But I think she's got too much pride for that. Little Bird seemed to prove his point, don't envision him coming back to kill her. The Hot Animal Machines (whatever is left of them) are gonna have problems with Chief Long's group, and vice versa. So what's left for Hanover to do? Find some pants?