I Will Not Kiss Any Ouchies

So yeah, Adorable Baby Panda was messing around and had an accident. But it's OK, because I had pirate band-aids! So Adorable Baby Panda is perfectly able to render judgement on the comics of the week. And there's gonna be spoilers, I'm certain of that.

Bonk - Kingpin's Assassin. How dare you shoot an old lady! Have you no shame! Even Deadpool wouldn't do that! {That's right! Well, I might. How much was Kingpin paying him?}

Bonk - Weasel. You helped the Rhino shrink Wade down with Pym Particles, after all the times that Wade hasn't killed you? What kind of a pal are you? {Aw, it isn't so bad. I still caught the Rhino, and Weeze shared his beer with me.}

Hug - Conrad. Just a commodities banker who pciks up the tab for lame supervillains, and you got your nose broke by the Three Inch High Merc Guy. {Can I get some business cards that say that? Probably not. The Inch High Private Eye's lawyers would sue you.} But maybe next time you'll know better than to go along with peer pressure to pick on someone smaller than you.

Applause - Deadpool. You stopped the Rhino from rampaging by talking to him. Then you caught him. And you finagled yourself free drinks at the Three Strikes Bar for a month, all while miniaturized. Bravo. {Hey thanks, can I have a job? Wade, I told you last week, we'll call you when we've got something for you!}

Bonk - Orson Randall. Bad enough you kill people with the Iron Fist, and make a man give you his clothes. Then you barge into Danny Rand's building and start drinking his liquor. {Who do you think you are, Tony Stark?} And you didn't ask Danny if he wanted a glass, either! {Because Danny punched him as soon as he saw him, ABP. Hey! Don't you criticize the cute little guy's reasons! Premature punching is a tool of the trade!}

Bonk - Brother Davos. Motivation through fear is not really approved of by Panda Management. So being nice and encouraging to the HYDRA folks who work for you could probably garner better results. {Remember, they're HYDRA. By nature their confidence is low due to their frequent losses.}

Applause - Midnight Rider, Acheron, Warlock's Daughter. Blue Devil asked for people willing to charge into Hell, and you three answered. May not be very smart, but you're brave, and helpful, and so that's got to count for something. {Though maybe not against Etrigan. Hmm, I think I can get you some help. ABP, where's that card Deadpool gave you with his contact number?}

Applause - Bagman. You were doing a really good job scrubbing the floors of your prison. Keep it up. {I think ABP's being sarcastic.}

ABP's being kind of a mean-spirited little panda this week. I better fetch some ice cream, and while I do that, howzabout you offer up your picks, and ABP can respond after the mood is lightened a bit?