Adorable Baby Panda Misses Big Comic Weeks

Only two comics to work from, so sad. That's three out of four weeks this month with two or fewer books. Are the comic publishers trying to make an Adorable Baby Panda cry? Are they?!

Well, it's Quesada and DiDio so the answer is, yeah, probably. But whatever, let's focus on what we do have.

Applause, Bonk -Shang-Chi. My, that was certainly an impressive beatdown you handed to the Headmen, not to mention destroying a Doom-bot. But... the Doom-bot was that little boy's friend, and now he's sad. What's wrong with you, Shang? Why would you make a child cry? {That's why he didn't get to kiss Tarantula. Pandas aren't about to reward someone with sweet love, when they make kids cry, no way.}

Hug - Humbug. You got your body back, of course not before that Chondu insulted it's condition. ABP doesn't quite understand what 'horribly inadequate for carnal pleasure means', but is quite sure it can't be a complement. It doesn't having something to do with carnivores, does it? {No, ABP, it does not. Ask your Intimidating Mama Panda about it. Just don't tell her you saw it in a comic}.

Bonk - Ultimate Dr. Strange. Look, it's one thing if you don't believe in killing. That's perfectly admirable. It's quite another to want to throw stuff at the person you refuse to kill's presumably dead noggin. That's just not cool.

Hug - Kitty Pryde, Mary Jane. Hopefully, grouping them together doesn't lead to a {shadow}catfight. Kitty's left the place where she had friends and was accepted, and moved to a place where teenagers, being insensitive twits, gawk and poke at her like she was a science exhibit. Plus, her boyfriend appears to have run back to his ex. {Ouch} MJ, meanwhile, appears to be somewhat less cured of the Oz treatment that Dr. Richards and Dr. Storm think she is, and has to deal with the uncertainty over whether she's Peter's girlfriend, or still his ex. {Sigh, the Parker luck with women continues as normal.}

Applause, Bonk - Ultimate Spider-Man. The bonk is easy, because you haven't fixed this thing between you and Kitty. {I'd argue that's not going to be easy to fix, if he even can.} The applause is for standing up to that big jerk Ultimate Daredevil. He's trying to take things too far, and bravo to you for laying down the law.

Hug - Ultimate Aunt May. Lying in the hospital, still trying to recover from her heart attack. ABP wants you to get better soon. {And yet, she's still in better shape than 616-Aunt May. Stunning.}