It's A Happy, Happy Panda!

Such a good week of comics, after two poor previous weeks, makes for an excited Adorable Baby Panda, so I'll waste no more time introing.

Bonk - Kingpin's Hired Gun. Look, you shot Aunt May, that's totally unacceptable. You've condemned us to an ungodly number of angry Spidey stories, and Adorable Baby Panda is not pleased with that. {Heck, you didn't even have the decency to get hit by that car Peter threw at you.}

Bonk - Kingpin. Don't think that just because you quote Euripides and give your regards to the guard's wife that you're getting off the hook! Oh no, that hit man was your idea, and so Angry Spider-Man is your fault too, and Adorable Baby Panda swears this: You will pay. {You know, ABP is getting kind of scary right now. Good thing I've got. . . ice cream!}

Hug - Aunt May. Poor lady, getting shot is never fun. And she must be getting tired of being put in dire medical condition so Peter can get put through emotional turmoil. {I would like to point out, May's the one who stopped Peter when he was preparing to run away instead of reveal his identity to the press. If she'd just let him flee, she probably wouldn't be shot right now.}

Applause, Bonk - Deadpool. Regained his original size, hoorah! Saved his hated rival, Agent X from the clutches of AIM and their creme-filled pastries? Well, that was awful nice of him. And he gave Bob, the Blogging AIM Agent a set of life experiences he'll never forget. {Like having a tiny man threaten to perforate your jugular with a keycard.} But leering at X's associates, and suggesting sexual favors as payment? For shame! You're supposed to rebuilding your rep by acting more professional!

Applause - Sabretooth. You took out an evil Captain America, that's always good. You managed to defeat your mind-controlled teammates and win without seriously harming any of them. So you know, bravo and all that.

Applause, Hug - Reed Richards. Poor Reed, looks like you're gonna die soon, if not by the hands of your ex, then from Psylocke. On the other hand, you managed to hook up with Elektra, and that's not too shabby.

Applause - Slaymaster. Not because you seem to be the standard "ultra-competent fighter guy", but because you've got the cojones to call yourself Slaymaster. It just sounds so horribly cheesy, yet your Hand Ninja squad wasn't laughing themselves sick behind your back, so congrats.

Applause - Shadowpact. They went to Hell, fought a demon army lead by Etrigan, got Blue Devil's trident back, and ended up with Etrigan as a coat rack. Adorable Baby Panda says that's pretty impressive. {I'm inclined to agree, but I still think it's a mistake to use Etrigan as furniture. Better to throw him in some forgotten hole somewhere. And what happened to jason Blood?}

Bonk - Rictor. Yeah, you were trying to help Rahne, but asking if she's mad because Jamie didn't sleep with her was just insensitive. If you're aware of her feelings for Jamie, then you ought to be smart enough not to say something that dumb.

Applause - Layla Miller. Just for asking the SHIELD guys if they wanted to try her smelly armpits. {Though when I see it typed out there, that sounds pretty creepy. Just for the record, she was talking about renamed ice cream all right?}

So, that's that. Your submissions?