We Will Have Happiness And Light, One Way Or The Other

Are you ready to be happy? {Yes I am!} Really? You didn't seem that happy yesterday. {Yeah, I was off my game, but I'm good to go now. I'm even over my disappointment that the rain today didn't keep the mosquitoes down. I wasn't sure I could get past that.} But you are past it, right? {Yep. Which means I don't have to resort to my secret weapon for bringing joy and light to the universe.} Could you use it anyway? {I'm not sure. Invoking it when it isn't required could have dire consequences.} Come on, please? {OK. Steamboatus Willonicus!} *FLASH!* Where did all the color go? {It's a necessary side-effect.} *humming starts from all around them, objects begin smailing and bopping from side to side* What's going on? {I used all the light energy that was being reflected to produce the colors we saw to animate these inanimate objects, just like in a cartoon! Don't they look happy, bopping side to side to some tune only they can hear?} Actually, it kind of scares me. {Oh, man, you're bringing them down. You've got to get upbeat. Seriously, be upbeat, or the lamp might kill you.}

Well then, um Applause for, um, uh, I I can't concentrate, they're scaring me too much! {Fine. Fantasticalis, Moppius, Stoppius! * all objects stop moving, color returns to the room* Better?} Yes! Deadpool gets Applause for outsmarting the Skrulls! {With the power of craziness, no less.} [Best superpower there is. Except for being able to grow, you know what I mean?] {Wade, don't cost yourself applause with inappropriate comments.} *oblivious* I think the Skrull scientist needs a Hug. He just wanted to make better soldiers, and Wade went and ruined his career. [How does he get a hug? He dissected me!] {I'm going to have to go with 'Pool on this one. No Hugs for Old Skrulls. Though they might get a country out of this mess.} [Ooh, referencing a movie that's only 11 months home! Nice job.] {Thank you.} Fine! Wade can have a Hug, too! Just stop telling me how to do this! [OK, puffball, didn't mean to offend you.] {Yeah, we're just trying to add humor to the proceedings, through the power of banter.} ["Power of banter"? That's terrible.] {See Wade, that's how behind the times you are. You have to say it like Charles Barkley would. "Turrible". You gotta get with it.}

Would you to be quiet?! [Could we? maybe Would we? Probably not] WHAP! Where was I? I think Darkhawk needs to get a Bonk so he calms down. {Says the panda who just smacked a guy for joking with him.} You want some of this?! {Uh, no. Not particularly. How about you take a few deep breaths. Remember, this is supposed to be a post of joy.} Right, right. Joy, joy. Super-Skrull! Super-Skrull gets Applause for not selling Nova out, and outsmarting all those wannabe Super-Skrulls. {You realize thos same Skrulls are being outsmarted by Deadpool, right? Tricking them isn't exactly a feat of high difficulty.} [Nerve strike!] *JAB!* {Ow! *passes out*} [Talk bad about a guy while he's unconscious, huh? What a feeb. And such terrible taste in clothes. Not nearly enough pouches or belts. Where we at? Nova? The guy that wears a bucket? He stinks. Go back to talking about me.]

We finished talking about you. Now help me decide what to do with Orson Randall. He didn't save his friend, or his friend's daughter. He did stop the cult from completing their plan, but they all died. He gets drunk, but he also beats people with nutshells. And he beat up cops. [Good cops?] Not really. [If they're dirty cops, then it's OK.] {*groggily, from the floor* They wouldn't say they were dirty, just willing to bend the law to protect the citzenry.} [That's way too complicated. They were dirty, Orson's the one that gets to wear the white hat, applaud him.] {He might punch you if you do that.} So I should Bonk him? {He might agree that he deserved it, but no, I don't think so.} A Hug then? {Yeah, probably the best bet. he's a pitiable figure.} [I'll go! Then we can compare notes on beating people with food items.] Umm. . . {I don't think he'll respond well to a guy loaded with weapons walking towards him with arms outstretched. That way lies madcap, highly entertaining misunderstanding battles.} [Hey, I already said I'd go, you don't have to talk me into it. *FWASH*]

Uh-oh. {Well, look at it this way: A Deadpool/Orson Randall fight would be some pretty entertaining comics.} Yeah, Orson can't kill Wade. And Deadpool's probably never been shot with bullets infused with chi. {True, and fighting Wade will probably be a new experience for Orson. Might be weird enough to convince him to quit drinking.} Won't that make him take up other drugs? {Um, I'm going to say no, because we need to end on an uplifiting note.} OK.