Late, Late, I'm Terribly Late

CalvinPitt: {There you are. Come on, let's get started.} Adorable Baby Panda: What's the hurry? Calvin: {I've got places to be, and people to try and impress with my professionalism. No time, no time, so hop to it.} ABP: Can I read that Deadpool trade first? Calvin: {You can read it when you're done. Heck, take it home with you if you'd like.} ABP: Really?! Calvin: {Sure. Consider it a loaner. Just get on with it.}

Well, all right! Sad Namora gets a Hug for being sad, Bucky gets a Bonk for destroying Jimmy's helicopter. {Understandable confusion. Cut Bucky some slack, and throw the Sentry some applause.} What did you say?! You aren't Calvin, are you? I'm onto you UnCalvin! CHOMP! {Yeow! What the hell, fuzzball? The Sentry threw that pompous Temugin into the Hudson River. We can't give the man a little love for that?} Oh. Yeah, I can Applaud the Sentry for that. I'm still keeping an eye on you. {Swell, now kindly remove your teeth from my hand.}

Deadpool gets a Hug because that Black Widow is never gonna love him. Deadpool: [Don't you say that! She totally kissed me back! Sort of!] She's just trying to trick you, Wade! She trapped the Taskmaster when she thought he was you! [No, she knew he wasn't me, and trapped him because he tried to break the everlasting bond we have, like how red meat stays in your digestive tract for 15 years] {Oh, fer pete's sake. ABP, let Wade have his hope. Wade, stop making comparisons between love and disgusting and probably inaccurate biological processes. Please.} Taskmaster gets a Bonk for being stupid and getting caught. {Deadpool, was that aprt of your brilliant plan?} [Uh, sure it was. I'm the Planmaster.] {That's a "No", then.} I'm going to Applaud Taskmaster because he agreed to help Deadpool, though. {He's doing it for a cut of the money Osborn owes Wade.} [Yeah, not like it's out of the goodness of his skull-faced heart. Skinflint, charging me for using grappling gun.] I'm still applauding him!

Vulcan gets a Bonk for being crazy and mean. Crystal gets Applause for helping sick people. Wendell Vaughn gets Applause for trying to help Phyla, and for helping Rich. [That's just how we Protectors of the Universe roll. A noble group we are. With great hair, too.] {Wade, you're not a. . . nevermind. Go on, ABP.} Norman Osborn gets a Bonk for taking away Director Gruenwald's job, and Dr. Necker gets Applause for trying to help Rich, and a Bonk for being part of AIM. {Well, that's a little closed-minded. Just because, she's part of AIM, she automatically has to get hit? What if she was working to bring down Norman Osborn?} [Hey, that's my job! I sent him mocking faxes and everything!] {Please, Deadpool, you'll never pull it off.} I'm not listening, la, la, la! I'm going to Bonk Lord Oblivion, because he has some big evil plan, and he has to be stopped. {I think you're punching out of your weight class on that one, kiddo.} I can do it! Nothing can stop me! [That's right! The furry one is still young, and so is still invulnerable!] Really? [Yep. Until you hit 20, you can't die. It's a rule.] Wow! {Wade, stop lying to impressionable children. OK, I've got to get out of here. ABP, here's the trade. Enjoy, but bring it back next time I see you. Deadpool, see you when I see you, and uh, good luck dodging Bullseye next month.} [Sure, yeah, see you later, wait, what?]