I Do Want To Go Off On A Rant Here

First things first: This is in no way directed at any of my loyal, beloved commenters. You're all cool. It's a more general Internet thing.

There are all kinds of folks out here on the Internet, posting, commenting, lurking, whatever. Some behave nicely, some don't, and with some it probably depends on what kind of day they had, because, hey they're human. There's one kind of person that really bugs me, though, and that's the Internet Martyr. There might be another, preexisting term, but that's the one that seem to fit to me, so I'll use it for the purposes of this post. For the record, there's an example here. Just skim through the comments until you see one by a person going by the tag "waffle". That's actually the one that really ignited my distaste for the Internet Martyr, probably because I thought the post was rather clever, and honestly, at that point, there wasn't a hell of a lot left, statistically, to say about the Cardinals' attempt to make an outfielder a second baseman. For the record, no, I don't post or comment on the site about. Just an anonymous lurker. In case you were wondering about a conflict of interest on my part.

You've probably seen one of them somewhere. They're like an refined form of the commenter who complains about the kind of content a blogger is producing, even though reading the blog costs them nothing but time, and there's hardly someone making them read it. Still, they feel compelled to complain because a blogger has kept up their daily series of posts highlighting a particular Marvel super-hero, or because there aren't enough serious analysis posts, or posts with face kicks, or whatever. It's pretty tedious, and petty, and big deal, right? That's fans; they always find something to complain about.

The Martyr takes it that extra step, by prefacing their complaining with some blather about how they'll 'probably be banned for this comment', but they don't care. As if they are some grand revolutionary, who is willing to die speaking the truth if it will stir the passions of the proletariat commenters against these bourgeois bloggers, who run the blogs they post for as they see fit, rather than the way the Martyr demands. Where do those bloggers get off*?

I suppose I should be more understanding. Maybe they're new to the Internet, just getting their land legs. The first six months on this blog, I made an ass out of myself towards other bloggers, oh at least three times, and once on Devon Sanders' old blog Seven Hells**, which was the kicker that made me reevaluate how I was doing things***. So maybe they'll have an epiphany and eventually become valuable, clever commenters. Or maybe they won't. It just irritates me because they're trying to give their griping/whining/airing of grievances this aura of something more than it is.

Guess what Internet Martyr? You are not Martin Luther nailing your 95 theses to the door of the blog, telling off the powerful Blog Church. You are not going to have to hope some German prince will protect you because he sees opportunity for himself in your bitching. Just say your piece, and if you aren't a completely rude, abrasive twit, you'll probably get off with some light mockery by the others in the peanut gallery, and maybe the blogger in question, depending on their wont.

OK, I'm done. Something hopefully more cheerful tomorrow.

* Phrasing it that way, it suddenly becomes blindingly apparent to me how related this is to the fans that vow boycotts because the comic company in question doesn't understand a character the way they do.

** And that's not counting the various immature comments I made about wishing harm on various writers or artists for stuff they did I disagreed with (for example: mentioning wanting to hit Chuck Austen with a pipe wrench). There are times I would like to go back and smack my Younger Blogging Self, and tell him not to post stuff like that, because damn it, I'm going to feel seriously embarrassed I said that stuff and put it out on the Internet for the world to see.

*** Which isn't to say I've been all sweetness and light since then, but I think I've been more mature about things the last couple of years.