After Months Of Sporadic Buildup

Clever Adolescent Panda (CAP, for short): I've finally found you.

{CAP is speaking to no one in particular. If the passerbys find anything strange about a panda standing alone on the sidewalk, staring at a building across the street and talking to itself while holding a small package, they give no sign. A few people glance in CAP's direction, and some even double take. For most, however, the panda is some vaguely defined object for them to avoid in their progress to wherever it is they're going. A dreary and unlamented death, most likely.}

CAP: Hey, don't say that. It's mean, and it clashes with the tone of the story.

CalvinPitt (Calvin, for short): Sorry.

CAP: Well, who's telling this?

Calvin: You are.

CAP: Darn tootin'.

{CAP's gaze stayed fixed on a building across the street. The lower three-quarters of the building was a standard concrete and steel construction, ordinary residential windowpanes, some with flowerpots on the sills. The upper quarter showed a marked shift, the exterior consisting of nothing but large windows, with the side facing CAP slanting away until it met the other side at the top. It most resembled a massive triangular prism, bisected at right angles with lines delineating separate rooms and floors. People entered and exited irregularly, their clothing a mixture of professional and casual. CAP took a deep breath, readjusted the package's straps, and dashed across the street. Only one car was rear-ended due to the panda's willful refusal to use crosswalks.}

CAP: Cut that out!

Calvin: Learn to type yourself then.

CAP: That keyboard is too small!

Calvin: I can't argue with that.

{CAP pushed the door open easily and stepped inside. The lobby was cool, quiet except for shoes scuffling over the tiles. CAP moved casually to the directory on the wall and began searching. It didn't take long to locate the target, Smile Time Alternative Solutions, starting on the 47th floor and continuing to the top. As CAP turned, a shadow. CAP looked up into the eyes of a man in early middle age. Hairline that had long ago finished receding, dark eyes, rounded cheeks, slight chin waddle hanging down. The nametag said "Mr. Peterson"}

Mr. Peterson: *nasal monotone* No pets allowed.

CAP: *indignant* I'm not a pet!

Mr. Peterson: *disinterested* You are a panda, correct?

CAP: Obviously I'm a panda. And who ever heard of someone having a panda as a pet?

Mr. Peterson: *still nasal montone* I haven't, but I have seen a woman with an ocelot and a wallaby, so I cannot rule out the possibility.

CAP: But I'm not anyone's pet! I'm just a panda here to deliver a package!

Mr. Peterson: *hasn't broken the monotone yet* While I believe you are a panda, and an adorable one at that, so much so I would like to pick you up and hug you to see if you made adorable squeaking noises, I cannot let you stay in here. Now good day.

CAP: *wheedling* I'll let you pick me up and hug me until I squeak.

Mr. Peterson: Good. Day.

{Grumbling, the panda exits the building and crosses the street to its original position. It disappears into the mouth of an alley, where the shadows obscure it.}

CAP: *to no one visible* No, there's a doorman. Or a concierge. I don't know which, it doesn't matter. Look, I will get in, just go ahead and start on your end. No, I'm not wasting your time, I'm being discreet. Patience! Sheesh.

{A short time later, a small delivery person backs through the door into the lobby, brown cap pulled down tightly over their face, a large package. The delivery person strides quickly past Mr. Peterson, acknowledging him with only a brief nod and pull on the cap brim. Mr. Peterson's brow creases briefly.}

Mr. Peterson: A moment please. *the delivery person stops* Where are you going?

Delivery Person: *muffled voice* Smile Time Alternative Solutions. Got a package for them.

Mr. Peterson: *bars the path to the elevators* Yes, well, I believe I already explained that no pets are allowed.

{Mr. Peterson rips the delivery person's cap off, only to see a short woman with a squat nose and light green eyes regarding him angrily.}

Delivery Woman: What are you talkin' about, Mac? I ain't carryin' an animal, I got a package. *Takes cap back furiously* And another thing: You ever try somethin' like that with me again, I'll make you eat that stoopid nametag. Got it?

{Mr. Peterson, flushed and stammering apologies, moves aside, pressing the button for the elevator as he does. The delivery woman - Rhonda, her shirt says - storms past without giving him a second glance. The only recognition a barked command to push the button for 47, which Peterson hops to comply with. Once the elevator doors close, a smile breaks out on her face, and she sets her box down. Opening it, CAP hops out, the smaller package still strapped on its back.}

CAP: Thanks a lot, ma'am. Do I owe you any extra for him being rude?

Rhonda: Nah, pushy guys like him are part of the job. I make it a point to give it back better than I get it. You sure you don't want me to deliver that thing? They won't think twice about it.

CAP: No thanks. I have the best chance of getting it directly to the boss, and I don't want it getting tossed by a protective receptionist.

Rhonda: It ain't a bomb, is it?

CAP: No, no, nothing dangerous. More like a gag gift. It's been a lot of trouble to get this far, I'm seeing it through to the end.

{Rhonda pushes the button for 46, and a few moments later, the elevator slides to a stop.}

Rhonda: Well, alright then. I'll get out here. Good luck with that.

CAP: *as doors close* Thank you!

{On the 47th floor, a few minutes earlier. . .}

Cheery Receptionist: Welcome to Smile Time Alternative Solutions! My name's Janet, but it will be Dr. Lakshmi here guiding you on the tour of our research facilities. She's our senior researcher, and head of the Energy Division.

{Dr. Lakshmi, in a lab coat wearing thick-rimmed glasses, a dark complexion, and long, straight dark hair tied back, nods slightly.}

Dr. Lakshmi: Thank you, Janet. I wanted to lead this tour personally, because I want those of you considering investing in our company to see how invested we are in it. Also because it makes it easier for me to keep you from touching things you shouldn't. That way we don't lose months, perhaps years of work, and you don't lose any limbs. *The crowd laughs* I'm serious. *Laughter stops, silent pause* Now if you'll follow me, we'll start with Weather D. . .

{Dr. Lakshmi leads the tour through a set of clear plastic doors to the right. As the doors slide closed behind them, the phone rings at Janet's desk.}

Janet: Hello, Smile Time Alternative Solutions? Oh, Mr. Peterson, hello. Yes. Well, I don't know of any specifically, but it could be a personal thing. Really? That's odd. Well, thank you for letting me know.

{At that moment, the elevator arrives. The door opens, and Janet looks up expectantly. No one steps out. She waits a moment more, then shrugs, and returns to the Minesweeper game on her computer. She doesn't notice a blur dart between the closing elevator doors and slide up against the front of her desk.}

A Voice Behind Janet: Working hard, I see.

Janet: Eep! Uh, Mr. Androzier! Um, sorry.

Androzier: *shrugs, sits on the edge of the desk, back to the elevator* I don't really care, I'm Head of Security, not Efficiency. So long as the Commandant and the investors don't notice.

Janet: "Commandant"?

Androzier: Old war joke. What was Peterson wanting?

Janet: He said there was a delivery person on the way up. The elevator opened, but no one came out.

Androzier: *glances towards elevator, misses CAP darting past his feet through a wooden door on the left Androzier came through* Probably had the wrong floor.

Janet: But she mentioned us by name.

Androzier: *rubs chin thoughtfully* Why would Peterson even bother to let you know?

Janet: He said she might be rude, because he aggravated her by accusing her of being a panda.

Androzier: *suddenly very alert* A panda?

Janet: *cheerfully oblivious* Yeah. He said a panda had come in earlier claiming it wanted to deliver a package. he shooed it away, and the the delivery lady was short and hiding her face, so he thought the panda might be in disguise. Isn't that the silliest thing?

Androzier: *Grim* No, it really isn't. *Grabs Janet's phone, taps a number quickly* It's Androzier. We have a problem. It's -

{On the other end of the line}

UnCalvinPitt (UnCalvin, for short): The panda. Yes, I've been expecting this. Actually, I expected it quite some time ago. Must be getting dumber from prolonged exposure to Calvin.

Calvin: *interrupting* Hey!

CAP: Not so funny now, is it?

Calvin: How do you even know UnCalvin was saying that?

CAP: It's exactly what UnCalvin would say.

Calvin: . . .

UnCalvin: As I was saying. Alert security, tell them to contain the panda if they can, but do not try and fight it. Medical bills from combat in the workplace related injuries will be the death of this company. Then meet me in the Operations Room.

Androzier: What about the investor tour?

UnCalvin: Is that happening now? Damn the timing! I'd swear the universe hated me, if I didn't already know it for a fact. Keep the patrols as low key as possible. If need be, I think I can handle the investors, but better not to put it to the test.

Androzier: Yes, Commandant. *speaking into hand radio* All security, be on the lookout for a panda with a package. Try to contain it, but do not engage. Protect the labs, and the staff.

Janet: *confused* What is going on?

Androzier: *Already running back the way he came* Old war. Stay here, deflect all calls, and keep your head down.