Saturday, February 01, 2014

What I Bought 1/27/2014 - Part 5

Typing this Friday just in case I actually do manage to get on the road Saturday. Hope springs eternal, right?

Deadpool #20 & 21, by Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn (writers), Scott Koblish (artist, #20), Mike Hawthorne (artist, #21), Val Staples (colorist, #20), Jordie Bellaire (colorist, #21), Joe Sabino (letterer) - It took me a couple of glances to realize those are spray paint cans falling out the back of Wade's flying car. I've been gradually picking up the trades of this ongoing over the last six months, based off strong word of mouth. And since Marvel has been so kind as to keep the single issue price at $3 (so far), it's also joining the pull list. Welcome back, Deadpool.

Deadpool: [Leave me alone.]

Wade? I didn't expect you to show up so soon, or at all, really. Figured you'd be busy.

Deadpool: [Shrug.] *Deadpool shrugs*

Well, anyway, just kick back and feel free to chime in if you want.

At the start of the previous two arcs, Posehn and Duggan have led off with what is supposed to be an unpublished inventory story from one of Deadpool's long-ago canceled series. Mostly it's an excuse to tell stories in the style of those days, with characters in forms they no longer resemble. Boozy wreck Tony Stark, yellow shirt and tiara wearing Luke Cage, stuff like that. So issue 20 is a Kirby issue, where Deadpool gets roped into traveling the world to collect puzzle pieces which combined release/create a Cosmic Baby, whose poops will power Asgard for a 1000 years. For this great service, Odin sends Wade to the worst place he can think of: the '90s. Asgardians are jerks.

Deadpool: [What are you talking about? The '90s were great. All that coffee, and bad music, and the Internet was finally at the point I could find pornography. You have an idea how hard it was to find Internet porn in the '50s?]

But once you reached the '90s, you realized that laser disc factory you got from Vetis was worthless, right?

Deadpool: [Damn, you're right. That was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.]

*Calvin almost asks how that could be worse than remembering you have a daughter just in time to wonder if you got her killed alongside her mother, but just then.*

Voice: Calamity-Averting Bonk!

What the hell was that for?

Clever Adolescent Panda: You were about to say something stupid and hurtful!

No I wasn't! I stopped myself in time.

CAP: Oh, well, whatever. Wade! How are you? *leaps onto Deadpool, gives a big Hug*

Deadpool: [Oh, you know, savin' the day, tryin' to get paid, loud black lady stuck in my brain. Say, you still have that panda you rescued from Satana? Preston, how you feel about furries?] {Agent Preston's voice} Oh no you don't. No animal bodies! {Wade again} [Darn, worth a shot.]

Anyway, I'm sure that Cosmic Baby will somehow play a role in an upcoming arc, but I can't see how. Well, maybe. Because Agent Preston's old partner, while examining the possibility of getting an LMD of Preston to use as a host body for her spirit, learns someone already had one made. And they're using to deal weapons and drugs.

Deadpool: [And rake lawns!]

Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Does Gorman have some yard work fetish, or is it a racist thing about making the black lady do lawn work?

Deadpool: [Yikes, I hadn't even considered that. How would you feel Preston, if Gorman's using that robot for weird stuff?]

CAP: I liked it better when you guys thought I was too young to hear this.

Too late now! And too late for Deadpool and Preston, because Adsit told Gorman he knows about the LMD, and what's worse, told Gorman about Preston's spirit being inside Deadpool. So Gorman puts a $10 million bounty on Wade, and the first sucker, I mean, assassin? Crossbones! On the plus side, he gave Wade an excuse not to let Preston drag him back in and finish seeing the Tyler Perry movie.

Deadpool: [So awful.]

You know, I watched one of those on TV last week. It was, odd. Half the people scream at each other and the other half like assholes for no reason. It would be funny -or trying for it -, and then get dead serious really abruptly.

Deadpool: [I might have to shoot you in the head on principle.]

Can't you just run me over with a carriage and throw me in a hot air balloon?

Deadpool: [No, because I already did that to Crossbones, duh! I can't let my act get stale.]

What if I tell you Adsit is too busy talking to Phil Coulson to send the Preston LMD to you, and it's really Gorman leading you into a trap?

Deadpool: [I'd tell you that for one thing, your comic reviews aren't in continuity, and for another, I probably already figured that out when issue 22 came out three weeks ago.]

CAP: Swing and a miss.


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