I'd Like To Toast To All The Pandas

So, do you feel better after yesterday's post? {Yes, I feel much better for having gotten that out of my system. In fact, I daresay that releasing my concerns over those controversies has enabled me to reach spiritual enlightenment.} *BONK* {Ow, what was that for?} That's my joke, and I'll ask you not to steal it. Now, can I get started? {By all means. It's time for this blog to get back to what it does best: hitting Tony Stark on the head for Sallyp.} That's right! Get ready Stark! [Tony Stark: Huh?] *KRA-KA-DOOOM!*

{What the heck was that?} I decided to hit Tony a little harder than usual this week, so I got some help from Walt Simonson. {Cool. So you're starting with bonks this week?} Nah, I'll come back to the bonks later. Hugs for Ronan, he looked so sad this week. {Not to mention suicidal.} That too, but he wants to protect his people, so I'm sure he'll bounce back. Ultimate Peter Parker always seems to bounce back too. Maybe it's because I Hug him so often. Well, this week won't be any different, because dealing with government ineptitude is so frustrating. {What experience do you have dealing with governmental idiocy? You haven't even had to venture to the DMV yet!} I've been around. {Around where?} Well, uh, I was near a Capitol Building once. {Sigh, just get on with it.}

OK, just relax. I'm going to Applaud all the different Fantastic Fours that helped Deadpool and Bob, even if Black Panther was being kind of rude. {Tell me about it. Dude thinks just because he's a king he's better than a mercenary and an Agent of HYDRA.} Don't you think that's why he thinks that? {Probably, but even so, he could try and hide it a little more! Only by hiding what we truly think of others, will everyone be able to get along!} Yes, that would work. . . until everything that was being repressed breaks loose and humanity destroys itself in the most horrific manner possible. You should know this; you didn't get past your Chuck Austen anger until you blogged about it. {Yeah, I guess you're right. Truly, you are most wise.} I know I am. {But not humble.} Hey! {Prove me wrong.} I will. Later. Because I can be humble whenever I want, because I'm awesome. {Proving my point.} Be quiet! I'm trying to Applaud Super Skrull for helping the Kree fight the Phalanx. {He's trapped inside their space the same as everyone else, so I'm not sure what else he would do to pass time.} Why are you trying to bring me down, man? You're harshing my groove, when all I wanted to do was Applaud Shadowcat for her daring breakout of Spidey from SHIELD custody. {What, you're a smelly hippie now? You've certainly got the smelly part down pat.} Hey! *sniffles, looks pitiful* {Oh, come on, I didn't mean it. You smell nice. Like lilacs and cookie dough.} What? {I don't know. I just figured it would bring you out of your momentary funk. Worked, too.}
Well you better watch out because I'm riled up, and ready for bonking! {Ha, you already bonked me today, and the Panda Bylaws say you can't bonk the same person twice in one day!} What?! Let me say that! *reads quickly* Blast. You win this round, so I'll give the Bonk to the Thing, for kicking Deadpool, Weasel, and Bob out of the Baxter Building, instead of letting them stay to play poker. Then I'm going to Bonk Wraith's father, because he lured Wraith into Kree space by lying to him about what he was going to do. {Well, you know how it is with parents, always lying to the kid because it was in their "best interests". What a bunch of hokum.} "Hokum"? What's that? {Bunk. Garbage. Bull. Falsehoods. Need I go on?} No, I'm good, but Ultimate Carol Danvers won't be after I get finished with this Bonk for her. She couldn't be bothered to explain why she captured Peter, and she's got guns that are supposed to stop Norman Osborn, and they don't work! {Well, that's governmental ineptitude for ya.} No doubt.