Pandas Will Take On Anyone

Adorable Baby Panda: So the dream ended in a police station?

CalvinPitt: {Yeah. Strange thing was, it was the police station from Resident Evil 2. The game, not the movie. Where you find the injured cop who gives you a key and asks you to find any other cops that may have survived, then he gets killed as soon as you leave the room.}

ABP: He gets killed?!

Calvin: {Yep. Big ugly monster that used to be human came in through another door and it was bon voyage for that cop. Hmm, I can't remember if he had a name or not. Can't remember the name if he did.}

ABP: Everyone should have a name.

Calvin: {Then let us name him the Honorable Cop John Boeheim, and raise a glass in honor of his concern for others. Salud! *raises glass*}

ABP: There's nothing in that glass.

Calvin: {How true. I'll have to correct that. Why don't you get started? I'll return anon.}

Right! I think Lao the dragon needs a Bonk for eating Man Mountain Marko. It's excessive, and how is Jimmy going to explain that to Norman Osborn? Gorilla Man gets Applause for thinking to buy a cattle ranch so Marvel Boy doesn't have to steal cows for Lao. Actually, Marvel Boy is stealing those cows from some rancher, isn't he? Bonk for Marvel Boy then, unless we find out he left money to pay for them. {That would freak out some people. "Well, Sheriff, this flying saucer dropped fromt he sky and took some of my herd, but then it dropped a birefcase full of money and flew off!" "Sure it did McCluskey. What have you been drinking?"} McCluskey? {Fine, I couldn't think of a good last name for a rancher. Give me a break, and while you're at it here. Raise your glass to Honorable Cop John Boeheim.} OK! *drinks soda* I miss soda. Mom won't let me have caffeine. {Why?} She's says it makes me hyper. {Really? Maybe you ought to give it back. . .} NO! I mean, I'm fine. She just worries too much. I'm giving Mayday Applause for convincing the Other May they don't have to fight, and little Ben gets Applause for saving his mom. {Yeah, except Mayday and Pete were keeping Ben having powers secret from MJ. I imagine they heard something about that.} Then they shouldn't keep secrets! Bonk to Mayday and Peter for keeping secrets from MJ!

Now let me see. Michelle needs a Hug, because she's saw her own death, and it made her sad, Rex Hunter gets a Bonk for showing it to her, Rip Hunter gets a Bonk for not saving Rex Hunter and stopping the whole mess from starting! That Mr. Kilgore gets a Bonk too, for trying to trick Deadpool into dying to help his son's stupid career! {Wade seemed OK with it. After he received 2 million dollars, anyway.} Well it's not OK with me! *drinks more soda* I'm giving Maelstrom a Bonk for dressing stupid, and that old Iron Fist, he's going to sell Danny out, so he gets a Bonk. And the Thunderer, he's planning to double-cross Danny too, so Bonks to him! {Whoa, slow down there! This is getting a tad aggressive. Don't you think maybe the old Iron Fist has a plan? And maybe Lei Kung won't have Davos double cross Danny. How about some applause or something? Maybe for Phyla? She beat Maelstrom with a stick.} Yeah, that was awesome! Applause for Phyla!

The girl Moon Knight is protecting, Carmen, she gets Applause because she tricked that one wrestler into thinking he was about to blow up. Her father gets another Bonk because he still wants to kill her. *drinks more soda* And the Punisher gets a Bonk because he hasn't killed any of the bad guys yet! What's he waiting for, an invitation? He's just a big wuss! {Um. . .} And Sagat, he killed that Hibiki guy! He didn't have to do that! {The guy did take out his eye.} Because Sagat was trying to wreck his school! Sagat's a jerk, and not only does he get a Bonk, I'm gonna go take his other eye right now! {Jeez, calm down. Remind me never to give you soda again *takes soda*} Give that back, I wasn't done with it! {No.} You - ! *lunges, punches Calvin in the face* {Agh! My eye! You took out my eye with that punch! Aw jeez, this is really painful!} Oh, Calvin I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! I just got real excited. I'll get help! {*straightens up* Don't bother, I'm fine, other than what I'm sure is turning into a beauty of a shiner. I just needed to snap you out of that caffeine rage.}

That's a dirty trick! {Maybe, but it worked. You've calmed down, so stay that way, OK?} *grumbles* I was just having some fun. {Fun for you, pain for me and all those chumps, I mean, victims, you whalloped on the noggin.}