What I Bought 7/2/2015 - Part 3

We had a stretch where it rained every day for 9 days straight. At least the Sun was out part of each day, so it wasn't as depressing as that week last fall. But it's a real impediment when working with birds, because you can't disturb their nests when it rains.

Squirrel Girl #7, by Ryan North (writer), Erica Henderson (artist), Rico Renzi (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) – This cover does not show that Squirrel Girl will also have to fight Steve Rogers in this issue, which is OK, because that made it a big surprise. Even if the fight was off-panel.

Everyone in New York is angry and fighting over stupid things. Frankly, that is how I picture New York being all the time, but I guess fights over computer database design are actually unusual. So after Squirrel Girl and our other heroes stop the classroom riot, Nancy proposes that this is all caused by a Norse squirrel she read about on Wikipedia. I will say that Wikipedia is not nearly as cool as Doreen’s “Deadpool’s Guide to Super-Villains” cards, because it does not have scowling Hippo-Man pictures. Also, random people on the Internet are only a slightly more reliable source than Deadpool, though this won’t stop me from using it the next time I want to learn about some stupid random thing.

They travel to Avengers Tower to tell Earth’s Mightiest Heroes about it, and get a bunch of sass-mouth from Natasha and Clint, and the next thing you know, Squirrel Girl and Friends beat them all up. Yep, Squirrel Girl punched 95-year old Steve Rogers. She is truly the greatest hero of our age. I’m being completely serious. Dang old people, with their, “in my day. . .” crap, and really high pants, and going out to eat in the middle of the afternoon when I want to go out to eat, and then I’m stuck in line behind them, and get out of my way, I haven’t eaten all day, and I still have a functioning metabolism!

Ahem. They add to this by stealing Steve’s phone to call Thor, err, the big blond guy who used to be Thor, and he agrees to help them team up with the new lady Thor, just as soon as the two of them break up a fight about breakfast foods. I tend to agree “waffles vs. pancakes” is a stupid debate because I like both, but I know a few people who don’t like pancakes. I could be inclined with Headband Guy that they both suck compared to his French Toast. Nancy travels to Asgard with the Thors to prepare Ratatoskr’s cell (and ask them questions about Asgardian cats as research for her fan-fiction), and Squirrel Girl, Koi Boi, and Chipmunk Hunk seek out the meddlesome squirrel god thing to try and capture it. Which doesn’t work so well when it tells their furry friends some stuff and the squirrels and chipmunks decide not to help (no word on if the koi also departed). So our heroes get beat up and the world ends, under pink skies, which means it’s slightly more cheery of an ending than a Crisis.

I completely agree with Squirrel Girl: It’s great when you don’t like someone, then find out you were totally justified in not liking them. I had a coworker I didn’t like from the first time I saw his shit-eating grin, and then it turned out he was only doing half his work each day, which was going to screw up the whole study, because he’d rather stay out late drinking and picking up random woman than doing his job. It was extremely gratifying to learn he was a shitheel, if also frustrating because he was screwing up the project.

I chuckled at a lot of stuff in this issue. Nancy’s ‘This is not the supportive learning environment I was promised,’ line. ‘Stop rioting or we’ll punch you!’ Doreen’s continued poor efforts to maintain a secret identity. Wolverine’s stealth guest appearance. I’m serious. Look at the page where they beat up the Avengers. There are 3, and only 3, long slash marks on the table between Sam Wilson’s head and Tippy. 3 slash marks means Wolverine, that’s science. Which means this is his first appearance since his death. Wooooo! Super-collectible, I’m rich! I’ma go sell this for $50,000 and I’ll be back!

It’s not a seller’s market out there right now, is all I’ll say. Setting aside my disappointment, I think I prefer Kamala’s fan fiction to Nancy’s. “Cat Thor” is not nearly as cool as “Storm and Wolverine fight an intergalactic blob that farts wormholes”. I’m sure Nancy’s stuff is more popular, though, because you people on the Internet are horrible and have no taste. That professor was right, you millennials and your damn cat memes. Wait, are millenials the ones who do cat memes? Or is that the generation before them? Millenials are the ones who take pictures of themselves, which I have been reliably informed by Michael Wilbon is something no other people have done in the history of mankind. Because Michael Wilbon’s brain was apparently replaced with a turnip. Which would explain his being a Cubs’ fan, at least. Jeez, I used to love watching PTI, but he’s just such a reactionary old crank now. How is Kornheiser the more reasonable of the two?

I feel like the lady outside the diner with the huge ribbon/headband and the purple glasses has to be someone either Henderson or North knows in real life. That just seems like too specific and outfit to be random. Or maybe I’m just sure I’ve seen a picture of someone who looks like that online. No idea where. Also, is the joke about “Chip Zducksky” a Howard the Duck joke (since Zdarsky’s writing that), or a reference to that book he’s doing with Fraction? Sex? Sex Criminals? Something like that. Look, as near I can tell, Image has 3 dozen series about naughty bits, I can’t tell them apart. But I figure those would be the sorts of adventures they can’t tell us about for reasons of good taste.

Oh, and Ratatoskr is very freaky looking. I’m highly impressed. I didn’t think Henderson could produce something so unsettling, as her art’s been so adorable otherwise, but the big green eyes, and the details she puts on those huge incisors, it’s disturbing.