Sunday, April 09, 2017

Earthworm Jim 1.3 - Assault and Battery

Plot: We open with Jim and Peter bolted to a huge rock by Professor Monkey-for-a-Head, as he prepares to incinerate them with a laser. Jim fails to break the shackles, but instead lifts the rock, stumbles around, and drops it on the professor. The next morning at home, Jim makes sure the paperboy hits the damn porch for once - by lifting his entire house and using it like a baseball glove. And then the super-suit stops working, right as Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt arrives in town with her army, determined to get the suit. Time to flee, but not inside the house like last week. This time they head for the International House of Haggis, where they have a chance for Jima and Snot to venture into the suit's workings to find the problem. It's a simple problem - the battery is drained - but since the suit was powered by the Battery of the Gods, getting a replacement could prove difficult. If they an survive an assault from the Queen's insect warriors.

Fortunately the day is saved by the mysterious Johnny-Dactyl. Unfortunately he then leaves in a snit when his personal sound system screws up during his big entrance. Still, it's enough of an opening for Jim and Peter to get back to their home and find a listing in the Phone Book of the Gods. This leads to asking a boon of a trio of schmuck Gods, and being forced to answer a riddle. Having successfully answered the riddle, Jim is back to full power, which still may not be enough to take down the Queen. Unless he can unleash the awesome might of the Slow-Motion Sports Movie Moment (not what they call it, but I can't think of a better description).

Quote of the Episode: Jim - 'At last I was a player in the big game of life. Too bad I hadn't read the rules on the top of the box.'

Times Peter Loses Control: 1 (4 overall).

Cow? Yes.

Other: This is the first haggis joke of the series. Where Peter develops a taste for the stuff, right up to the point when he's informed what's in it. I think I'd actually forgotten about this joke.

The riddle was, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" I quite like Jim's answer, and so did the gods, although it was Japius, God of Puns, so take with a grain of salt.

The Gods also gift Snot with a nose flute, which plays horrible, horrible music. High-pitched and off-key, tortuous to poor Peter, although Jim enjoys it. Of course, as Peter notes, Jim doesn't have any ears. And last week he was more resistant to the Reeking Beasts because his didn't have a nose. Tune in next week as they have to walk across hot coals and Jim is unfazed because he doesn't really have any feet.

Jim's slow-motion sports heroics celebrations crack me up, but I like sports movies, even if they all have roughly the same plot.

The short bit in the middle of the episode this week is a pitch for Psycrow's School of Nefarious Villainy, where he'll teach you the ABCs of making threats, and provide a support group to help you feel confident in yourself as a villain. Which is a pretty good system, remembering to think of the emotional aspect of villainy as well as the technical side. I wouldn't have expected that from Psycrow frankly. I was thinking more like Mr. Langley's course for Monorail operators in that one Simpsons episode.

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