Plot: Peter and Jim decided to have their heads put on each others' bodies, but Peter was having some difficulty mastering the suit, which gave Psycrow a chance to run them over with a train. But they were able to get Jim inside the suit and he redirected the train - straight up, before gravity kicked in and Psycrow wound up under the locomotive.
On to the main plot, which involves Peter getting a postcard with a picture of a fur-bearin' trout on it, and Jim insisting they go on a road trip to see it. As luck would have it, Professor Monkey-for-a-Head has constructed the most powerful weapon in the universe, and it runs on fish hair. And he too, has seen the postcard, so Queen Sweaty, Bloated, Festering, etc., etc., also hits the open road. As does Princess What's-her-Name, once she learns what her sister is after. Jim and Peter see many wonders, but are no closer to finding the trout when they learn the Queen has captured her sister, and demands Jim bring the trout to her - or else.
But Jim had a vision the night before of the trout, and is able to see the signs pointing the way, thanks to looking within. Which may be a euphemism for being launched high enough in the atmosphere the thin air causes hallucinations. Either way, once he's found the fish, he has to keep him free of the Queen's clutches, which is pretty difficult with her wielding a scepter of pure Dimantium, or however you spell that. Especially once the Trout's Screwdriver of Elysium proved a dud.
In the mid-episode interlude, we see a propaganda film about how hard Evil the Cat works at creating evil in the universe. Sure, when he's not on the golf course, or at one of his exclusive clubs enjoying an 11 a.m. martini.
Quote of the Episode: Peter - 'Oh goody. The day has hardly begun and already your brain has snapped like a dry, brittle twig.'
Times Peter turns into a monster: 0 (8 overall).
Other: Jim said some variation of "Eat Dirt!" four times in this episode, a record so far.
If Diamantium (I keep typing Diamondium, but that's one of Futurama's nonsense materials) is the hardest, sorry, second hardest substance in the universe, having some of it blow up in your face must hurt like hell.
We never did find out wha the Professor's weapon does. Frankly it looked like a cell phone done up like a banana. But this show was made in the mid-90s, so a cell phone that size might be pretty powerful. I could probably conquer 1994 with my flip phone if I went back in time. At least until those backwards people of the past realized that even with all my advanced technology, I was still vulnerable to bacteria. Wait, no, I meant bullets. I'm still vulnerable to bullets.
Anyway, where I meant to go with that thread is, did the Professor just stand around waiting for the Queen to get back with the fish hair? Why did he present it to her half-finished? Go get the hair, get the thing working, then show it off? I guess this way he was spared a whuppin' from Jim, so he really is a smart guy.
Peter was not a fan of the Giant Snail Petting Zoo. Which is fair, I would find that pretty horrifying, too. But he and Jim were a little too into the World's Biggest Scab. I still laughed at the Gabby Scabby Doll. 'Pick me, pick me!'
The Princess was being menaced by a flesh-eating mob of lawyers, which, hmm, I thought lawyer minions were Evil's bag. But I guess there are enough people with law degrees to go around.
So they did a Star Wars reference with the Princess' plea to Jim to save her, and then an Evel Knievel gag when Jim kicks in the Interstellar Overdrive on the Worm-Cycle, and jumps Snake River Canyon. Real '70s week going there.
When the Queen contacts Jim to show she has captured her sister, she gives Jim two hours to find the trout. Which is enough time for Jim and Peter to find the postcard company president and learn his awful secret, for Jim to then fall into a 'bottomless pit of despair', only to then remember his vision, and 'look within' for guidance. And then drive his motorcycle really fast to where the trout is. Which is more than I get done in a week.
I feel like keeping track of how often the opening bit actually plays into the main story. Like in "Sidekicked", Peter's transformation into his monster form lets Professor Monkey-for-a-Head escape, and prompts Jim cycling through several new sidekicks. But in "Sword of Righteousness", the opening bit where Evil has taken control of the suit doesn't tie into the whole thing with the useless talking sword at all.
This one falls somewhere in between. Jim and Peter swapping bodies doesn't factor, but Psycrow keeps popping up, dragging himself across the landscape while the locomotive still sits on his lower body. And at one point, he gives Jim bad directions to stymie his search for the trout. Although that's a pretty weak revenge. Once again, Psycrow overstates the scope of his actions.